c-birth/c-section/surgical birth forum request - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 366 Old 10-26-2011, 12:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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please?  pretty please?  isn't it time we have one in birth and beyond? 

especially since it's really what many of us will end up with?  and now that there are family centered, more natural processes during the births and research to support it and share?

 

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#2 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 05:37 AM
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There was interest expressed in starting a Social Group for this topic but no one has stepped forward to request it. If you'd like to do that please let me know and we'll discuss it further.

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#3 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 07:22 AM
 
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I would be an active poster in a c section forum!  smile.gif

 

 

I don't really understand what the difference between the social groups and the forums are. At least I never seem to see the social groups on the forum nav. I would think a C section discussion group would be most useful sorted with the other forums that discuss birth? Otherwise how will people who need it find it?

 

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#4 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 07:42 AM
 
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Since this is an experience many of us share, I would love to have a place for discussion. Although as the PP stated, I also think it would be more useful as a regular forum rather than just a social group.

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#5 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 08:04 AM
 
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Another vote for a regular fourm. The social groups are hidden and c-section moms are already feeling ostracized.


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#6 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 09:06 AM
 
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I would also regularly contribute to c-section forum.

 

Cynthia, is MDC open to adding a c-section forum to "Birth & Beyond"? A number of us are requesting it.

 

If MDC does not want to go that route, please let us know the rationale for not creating a forum and why you think a social group is the way to go.

 

Thanks.


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#7 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 09:13 AM
 
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I would like to see this as well and in a regular forum.  I don't like the social groups because you cannot post in them if you aren't part of it.  With the DDCs especially now, there are plenty of times I see something in the new posts and would like to respond to and would be helpful but can't unless I take the time to join the group which I'm not going to do if it isn't my DDC.  Same thing will happen if the c-section group is a social group.

 

FWIW, I think it would go a long way in showing people that MDC *understands* that some mothers must have c-sections and *respects* that instead of making moms who have had c-sections feel like they don't belong here or that their birth was a problem that shouldn't be discussed. 

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#8 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 09:19 AM
 
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I have not had a c-section but I would *read* a c-section forum and learn from it, as, I'm sure, would other moms anticipating their births. I've also never had a NICU babe but I read that forum sometimes. You never know when the knowledge is going to come in handy both for the posters who have been there and those who haven't (yet).


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#9 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 09:38 AM
 
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I just want to chime in about the importance of a forum like this.

 

An excellent suggestion made by another poster in the previous thread was "Birth After C-Section" where women could investigate and discuss ALL of their options (VBAC, HBAC, UC, or RCS). This is a discussion that CANNOT be had on a mainstream forum. I am just so tired of being told to go to a mainstream parenting forum when in every other way I am an AP parent.

 

Listen, I GET that MDC is supposed to be an advocate for natural birth. But even my midwives admit a 13% c-section rate in their practice and discuss c-section as part of their natural childbirth classes.

 

I think it's ridiculous for people to be afraid that by have having allowing a c-section discussion, we will send people running to c-sections in droves. NOBODY WANTS A C-SECTION. It's nobodies first choice. But the fact that c-section moms are not allowed to celebrate their birth, discuss their options, and figure out the BEST way to have a c-section (how to breastfeed immediately, etc.) makes a bad situation even worse.


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#10 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 09:50 AM
 
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alittlesandy, I agree with everything you have said, except I would like to ask that we keep considering the right name for the forum.

 

The forum should be inclusive of people who are not having additional births after their c-section. I'd like to propose that we just call the forum "C-section."

 

But I'd love to hear someone else's better idea.


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#11 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 09:52 AM
 
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I think a c-section forum is a good idea, but I do not think it should be combined with the VBAC forum. I go to the VBAC forum for support from others who recognize the downsides of c-sections and understand the desire for a VBAC. I have found the tone of some of the recent threads in the VBAC forum to be dismissive of the downsides of c-sections and less supportive of VBACs. I am all for providing information, both positive and negative, of VBACs, but I found reading how great c-sections can be dismissive of the pain and trauma that I personally went through. I don't expect that in a VBAC forum. I get enough of that in real life. I'm tired of explaining why I don't want another c-section, and hearing others tell me how it's not that bad, how it's safer, etc. But I do see the need for those who want to discuss c-sections, including the positives, to have a place to do so.

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#12 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 10:00 AM
 
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I agree that most people don't want the forums combined. I totally get that. I have no problem with them being separate forums, which they probably will be.

 

However, I see all of my birth options holistically. I want a VBAC more than anything, and I see nothing but downsides to having an RCS. I always hate the assumption that because I want to investigate the pros and cons of RCS that I am dismissive of the implications of it. I have not seen ONE WOMAN in any of the threads I have read say ANYTHING about how great a c-section is, or be dismissive of the pain and trauma of it.

 

The problem is, we are also discussing the birth of our child, and to do so without being able to say something positive is a little sad.

 

I have the exact opposite problem. All of the women in my social circle, all of whom had home births, look at me like I have the plague when I even MENTION the possibility of a repeat c-section. This is a very real possibility for me, and I am TERRIFIED of it. Thank God there are some mamas who are willing to tell me it might be ok.


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#13 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 10:27 AM
 
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Personally, I don't like the idea of combining forums under "Birthing After C-section", for a variety of reasons. I also don't like calling it "C-birth", because I have huge, huge issues with the terms "c-birth", "cesarean birth" and "belly birth" (the last one is my least favourite of all, admittedly). But, I do think a forum is a good idea. Why not just call it "cesareans"? It's fairly neutral, and avoids the "section" terminology that upsets some women and the "birth" terminology that upsets others.

 

I would like to see VBAC stay as a separate forum, though.

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#14 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 01:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrugalGranolaMom View Post

Since this is an experience many of us share, I would love to have a place for discussion. Although as the PP stated, I also think it would be more useful as a regular forum rather than just a social group.



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#15 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 01:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CI Mama View Post

Cynthia, is MDC open to adding a c-section forum to "Birth & Beyond"? A number of us are requesting it.

 

If MDC does not want to go that route, please let us know the rationale for not creating a forum and why you think a social group is the way to go.

 

Thanks.


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#16 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 01:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrugalGranolaMom View Post

Since this is an experience many of us share, I would love to have a place for discussion. Although as the PP stated, I also think it would be more useful as a regular forum rather than just a social group.



This!  I have only had unmedicated vaginal births, but I would love a c-section forum.  I want to be fully prepared for all my birth possibilities, from accidental UC to planned c-section b/c of a medical problem.  To get any useful information on C-sections I've had to go to other boards.


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#17 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 01:24 PM
 
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This!  I have only had unmedicated vaginal births, but I would love a c-section forum.  I want to be fully prepared for all my birth possibilities, from accidental UC to planned c-section b/c of a medical problem.  To get any useful information on C-sections I've had to go to other boards.



This, exactly.


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#18 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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I would like to see a cesarean forum too! I feel odd posting my questions about recovery from the surgery in the VBAC area.


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#19 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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Yes, an actual forum (or sub-forum), please. Saying we could have a group seems odd considering UC not only is a forum - but there are two forums dedicated to it.

I do agree with Storm Bride about having it an all-encompassing C-section board. That way it's open to all to read or post. Whether you are facing a first c-section, are not expecting a c-section, are planning a RCS, are hoping for a vbac but want to be prepared for a more pleasant c-section just in case, or maybe you've already had c-section(s) and just want a place to reflect. Or maybe you are just curious and want to be educated or are a birth professional who wants to know how best to support moms/families before, during, and after.

There could be so many threads from statistics to hospital protocol to recovery times and tips, to anasthesia to breastfeeding to all the emotions that often surround a c-section.

I did ask about a c-section group when "groups" were first announced; however, when I thought about it and saw how the groups functioned, it seemed a little unfair to not give c-sections a decent, permanent spot on Mothering just as all the other forums have. I mean, there's a TV forum, after all, and that could be argued to not be natural despite all the MDC'ers who watch it. C-sections happen, despite the best intentions. It's disrespectful to sweep them under the rug and it contributes to the attitude many NCB advocates hold when anyone even mentions the possibility.

A forum for c-sections has always been shot down in the 6 years I've been here. Hopefully it can be reconsidered, especially since all these other drastic changes have taken place. There are so many other aspects that have "compromised" Mothering's ideals, IMO, that a place for like-minded AP and NFL mamas to discuss cesareans actually seems like one of the better ideas.

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#20 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 02:11 PM
 
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Yes, an actual forum (or sub-forum), please. Saying we could have a group seems odd considering UC not only is a forum - but there are two forums dedicated to it.
I do agree with Storm Bride about having it an all-encompassing C-section board. That way it's open to all to read or post. Whether you are facing a first c-section, are not expecting a c-section, are planning a RCS, are hoping for a vbac but want to be prepared for a more pleasant c-section just in case, or maybe you've already had c-section(s) and just want a place to reflect. Or maybe you are just curious and want to be educated or are a birth professional who wants to know how best to support moms/families before, during, and after.
There could be so many threads from statistics to hospital protocol to recovery times and tips, to anasthesia to breastfeeding to all the emotions that often surround a c-section.
I did ask about a c-section group when "groups" were first announced; however, when I thought about it and saw how the groups functioned, it seemed a little unfair to not give c-sections a decent, permanent spot on Mothering just as all the other forums have. I mean, there's a TV forum, after all, and that could be argued to not be natural despite all the MDC'ers who watch it. C-sections happen, despite the best intentions. It's disrespectful to sweep them under the rug and it contributes to the attitude many NCB advocates hold when anyone even mentions the possibility.
A forum for c-sections has always been shot down in the 6 years I've been here. Hopefully it can be reconsidered, especially since all these other drastic changes have taken place. There are so many other aspects that have "compromised" Mothering's ideals, IMO, that a place for like-minded AP and NFL mamas to discuss cesareans actually seems like one of the better ideas.

I agree.
I had a c section, VBAC, C section and another VBAC. I felt like a complete failure by MDC standards when I first joined (2006 after my second c section) and didn't post for a long time. I think the attitude on MDC toward mothers who have had c sections and don't want to consider their child's birth a failure or comparable to a disease being removed from the body is the thing that "compromises" Mothering values. I appreciate having a forum where my "crunchy" ways are not unusual and CD'ing, BWing, child led weaning, etc...are not something off the wall, but the attitude toward c sections has always been a problem for me.
These new social groups are kind of weird to me and feel exclusionary. Putting a c-section area into a social group instead of a regular forum is just another way of ostracizing moms who have had them.

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#21 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 02:12 PM
 
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Storm Bride, I think maybe it is actually the term 'giving birth' that upsets you. The word 'birth' alone just mean emergence of the baby from the mother's body. But I really do not mind "C-sections". The name really doesn't upset me unless you are calling the forum something that wouldn't really make sense like, "Non-birth". I know that's silly, but I'm just saying I don't think any of the labels that the forum could be called would upset me.

I do think it would be great to have a place to discuss c-sections without upsetting some others. Also, it can be a place for anyone looking for education about the risks, comparisons, etc, especially since most women on here don't initially choose a completely elective c-section.

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#22 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 02:30 PM
 
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I do think it would be great to have a place to discuss c-sections without upsetting some others. Also, it can be a place for anyone looking for education about the risks, comparisons, etc, especially since most women on here don't initially choose a completely elective c-section.

 

I think it would be incredibly helpful to a lot of mothers to have such a place.  It certainly would have made the journey towards my c-section easier if I had been able to read more diverse perspectives on it than I could then (or can now) find on MDC.  And now, two years post-c/s, I still feel that I can't talk about my daughter's birth here, because it was surgical, but I didn't feel traumatized or upset by it.

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#23 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 03:33 PM
 
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I'd like to see a c-section forum, too.  I joined MDC after an unexpected emergency c-section and felt kind of alienated sometimes and like I shouldn't admit I had to have one.  I can't be the only one who has felt that way.

 

I still don't quite understand the Social Groups thing, in addition to my understanding that they can be "closed" to some members.  My preference would be that it be a regular forum like the others.

 

Having a live child, regardless of the exit route, is an accomplishment to be cherished and celebrated.

 

I understand and support MDC's position on the benefits of natural/vaginal birth, but it's not an option for everyone, for more reasons than I am aware of, I'm sure.

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#24 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 04:04 PM
 
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I'd like to see it, too. One just never knows what can happen, I want to have some knowledge.

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#25 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 04:12 PM
 
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I actually felt a lot of support around my c section from MDC discussions.  there were a few threads in the birth section and some in healing birth trauma that showed me that there were a lot of people like me who had set out to have natural homebirths and ended up w- c sections, and it really helped me process it. But I agree that it would be nice to have a c section forum here on MDC but I also understand why the moderators are reluctant as one of the original sentiments of MDC was to support "natural' childbirth. Still, I would fully support a c section forum here on MDc and I think it would help a lot of women.

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#26 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 09:08 PM
 
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Here's how I see it: is it more important that MDC be ideologically focused on natural birth or that MDC be a source of information and support for women trying to achieve their best birth?

 

If the ideological focus is the important thing, then I get the need to restrict conversation around c-section to topics such as how to avoid a c-section and why having a c-section is so inferior to having an unmedicated vaginal birth. 

 

But if helping women, and being a source of information and support, is the more important goal, then NOT providing a forum on c-section is a problem. Women who are trying to have their best birth need to understand c-section and how it can fit with an orientation towards natural parenting. Women are best served when they can share and process their birth experiences no matter how those experiences go.

 

I guess it's pretty clear that I think that helping women & providing information & support is more important than adhering to a strict ideology.

 

Women are asking for this forum...all kinds of women...those who have had c-sections and those who haven't, those who are new to MDC & those who are "old timers"...and many of us who carry the title "supporter" under our name. A c-section forum on MDC would fill a need and would IMO make this a better site.

 

I'm still hoping Cynthia is reading this thread and will weigh in at some point....


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#27 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 09:33 PM
 
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if helping women, and being a source of information and support, is the more important goal, then NOT providing a forum on c-section is a problem. Women who are trying to have their best birth need to understand c-section and how it can fit with an orientation towards natural parenting. Women are best served when they can share and process their birth experiences no matter how those experiences go.

 

I guess it's pretty clear that I think that helping women & providing information & support is more important than adhering to a strict ideology.

 

Women are asking for this forum...all kinds of women...those who have had c-sections and those who haven't, those who are new to MDC & those who are "old timers"...and many of us who carry the title "supporter" under our name. A c-section forum on MDC would fill a need and would IMO make this a better site.


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I have not had a c-section or a homebirth or a UC, but I strongly believe that MDC should have all of those forums. 2 of the 3 are already here. I hope that MDC's leaders will respond to this clear and reasonable request from its community.


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#28 of 366 Old 10-27-2011, 10:20 PM
 
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Agreed. There are c-section specific medical and personal issues that I think many people would benefit from discussing; recovery, nerve damage, diastasis recti, recommended duration to next pregnancy...etc. For instance, I was reading something recently about extended painkiller use making recovery harder. People could share their experiences about that. Or share info on docs that encourage vbac etc. Or how to prepare for coming home with a new baby while recovering from surgery. There's a whole list of topics for such a forum. 

 

Also, it would be nice to have a place to celebrate c-section birth stories, because all babies deserve celebration, and so that people could know what to expect. I first found MDC during my first pregnancy and miscarriage, and I found the personal miscarriage stories so tremendously helpful. It would have been nice to have the same for my second pregnancy, where I knew a c-section was likely (breech baby). 

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#30 of 366 Old 10-28-2011, 05:34 AM
 
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Here's how I see it: is it more important that MDC be ideologically focused on natural birth or that MDC be a source of information and support for women trying to achieve their best birth?

 

If the ideological focus is the important thing, then I get the need to restrict conversation around c-section to topics such as how to avoid a c-section and why having a c-section is so inferior to having an unmedicated vaginal birth. 

 


I really have never understood why they don't have a "mission statement" when joining or something.  Saying they advocate A, B and C and that they don't advocate X, Y, and Z.  They can declare what the purpose of the board is.

 

I never want and C/S mom's to feel unwelcome.  I don't want a board, and it seems no one else does, where "anything goes".  I don't see why there couldn't be a C/S board with a statement of acknowledgement on top of being compassionate about it.  I had a homebirth, I would never UC and I can't say I "support" the idea but I do think that moms can make their own decisions and understand and respect moms who go that route.  I don't think it's contradictory.  I know there are moms who feel homebirth is "wrong" but they should offer helpful advice or constructive critizism in the homebirth board or stay off of it.

 


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