Only child forum???? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 39 Old 02-09-2005, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I see that there is a forum for parents of onlies? I have seen forums for all the other kinds of families, but not for the single child family.

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#2 of 39 Old 02-09-2005, 02:30 PM
 
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That's a good idea.

How do we get one?
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#3 of 39 Old 02-09-2005, 04:55 PM
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We don't really setup forums to cover anything and everything. If we see a pressing need for a forum we consider it. But number of children family forums? Not so sure we really need a separate forum for such.

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#4 of 39 Old 02-10-2005, 02:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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But there is a forum for parents of multiples.

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#5 of 39 Old 02-10-2005, 03:27 PM
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True, but we saw a need for it. A desire is expressed here but it doesn't necessarily mean there is a need. That's what I mean. Are there many discussions going on about only child families that would show a need?

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#6 of 39 Old 02-11-2005, 09:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There have not been lots of discusions going on about only child families. There have been some. I just thought it would be a good idea because raising an only child really have its own unique set of challenges and issues that really don't effect multiple child families. I just thought that it might be nice to have a place that mama's of onlies could congregate. It was just a thought.

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#7 of 39 Old 02-12-2005, 12:07 AM
 
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i agree, even though we are planning on having more than one.

mama to 8 year old haye  and 3 year old zao

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#8 of 39 Old 02-17-2005, 05:39 AM
 
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I agree that raising an only child has its own issues and dynamic. The number of families with just one child is on the rise. I've recently read that 20% of kids in the US are only children now. I don't see many only child forums though and that gets frustrating sometimes.

The few forums I do know of are really appreciated by parents raising onlies. I personally find that it is a great relief and help to have a place to talk with other parents of onlies (or onlies themselves). I don't expect that a forum will be added but should you decide to add a forum I am sure it will be much used and appreciated by those of us raising only children and onlies themselves.

Some common issues I've noticed of parents raising only children talking about repeatedly:
-needing support in dealing with pressure to have more children- from family, friends, strangers
-dealing with intrusive comments and questions from family, friends, strangers
-feelings of guilt over not providing a sibling -or- guilt over not wanting another child
-when partners are not in agreement- one wants more kids and the other doesn't
-dealing with stereotypes of only child
-making the choice to just have one- reasons and coming to terms with the decision
-coming to terms with only having one child when it wasn't by choice... when you wanted more but were unable to for some reason
-trying to avoid placing too much pressure on your only child
-resisting the temptation to overinvolve or overindulge
-helping the only child forge friendships
-ideas for teaching the only child it's okay to play alone
-concerns about when parents of an only child age and need care
-concerns about if/when the parent(s) die and the only child is left "alone"
-the strong family bond- a family of 2 or 3 has a special feel I think
-the positive things about having just one child

There may be more but those are some I see often.



Can you clarify what you need to see to demonstrate a need for a forum? Is it just thread count on a topic or the actual activity in threads related to a topic?

I've seen several threads related to only children in the last several months. They seem to consistantly get a good number of replies and views whenever one is started. Comparing to the threads in the parenting multiples forum (which exists because of a demonstrated need), most threads relating to only children generate equal (or more) number of replies.

Thanks for discussing this.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#9 of 39 Old 02-25-2005, 05:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I believe that onlyzaombiecat has summed it up perfectly! Is there someone to covince you that an only child forum would be well used???

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#10 of 39 Old 02-25-2005, 06:09 PM
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Is there currently an Only Child Tribe thread? If not then please start one, invite others to join in, so that I can see the breadth of the topics that members would post to it and the level of interest.

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#11 of 39 Old 03-01-2005, 01:14 AM
 
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I agree an only child forum would be nice. I find the tribe threads to be too long and difficult to discuss different topics within one thread. It's hard enough when a regular thread goes off topic and then you feel stupid replying to the OP on topic because the thread has gone somewhere else.

onlyzombiecat, you did a great job listing the types of topics that are unique to only child families
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#12 of 39 Old 03-01-2005, 01:36 AM
 
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Excellent suggestion ! I would really welcome an only child forum. I for one have placed specific questions, ideas and responses to "only child issues" on other threads. They get good response initally, but tend to drift toward other topics. A concentrated forum for those who want to discuss a topic more in depth with opportunity for great followup would be fantastic.
I have checked other websites on the internet, but they are sorely lacking. Not like the wonderful folks here on MDC. I think the only child forum here would be supportive of the parents and only child who also support and believe in the ideas of Mothering magazine. I would welcome being able identify consistent members on one forum as well. So if you are looking for a yes vote........you definately have one from me. And I have a few friends who would join us as well.
Take care, hope this comes to fruition.......thanks.
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#13 of 39 Old 08-21-2007, 04:42 PM
 
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I would like to see an onlies forum too. I have searched out individual threads but they are too tough to read through most of the time. I become fustrated and often dont post (or read through a thread) because I am told I "dont understand sibling rivalry" and because "I have it easier" and because MY issues are more about NOT having the ability to raise my son with a sibling and HOW to do that?

I have looked on-n-off for about 5 years for a forum for onlies, and threads within Special Needs, and the like. Even onlies specific topics under Toddlers and Children (not to mention the overwhelmingly baby-biased Parenting) arent very helpful. And posting a topic in Parents As Partners isnt helpful.

I think a Forum vs individual threads would be helpful because then I wouldnt be constantly searching the ENTIRE website for topics but could go to a specific area to browse issues. [I prefer to browse since I have had my feelings hurt in the past by reponse to my outspoken manner.] I do not think I am alone with this concern. I also dont think that this small sampling of requests are the only people interested. I think that, like myself who took 5+ years to post a request, there are many others who take years to make a request or, more likely, just give up.
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#14 of 39 Old 08-21-2007, 04:58 PM
 
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great idea.
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#15 of 39 Old 08-21-2007, 05:53 PM
 
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i'm an only child myself, and i'd love to see a forum like this!!
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#16 of 39 Old 08-21-2007, 07:27 PM
 
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I'd love an only child forum!
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#17 of 39 Old 08-21-2007, 07:41 PM
 
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yes yes yes!

Mama to Zach 6-18-04 & Naia 10-13-10 Partner to the sweetest DH. Loving our life afloat. TV Free!
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#18 of 39 Old 08-21-2007, 07:44 PM
 
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I'd like to see one as well.
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#19 of 39 Old 08-21-2007, 10:14 PM
 
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me too me too!
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#20 of 39 Old 08-21-2007, 10:43 PM
 
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ONLY CHILD FORUM........has my vote for sure !!!
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#21 of 39 Old 08-21-2007, 11:51 PM
 
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I think having an onlies only forum is redundant. Every mother but mothers of multiples for their 1st pg have had, and to some point raised an only child until -or if- they became pregnant again.

If there was an onlies forum then there would need to be a large families forum.

It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
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#22 of 39 Old 08-22-2007, 12:00 AM
 
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I have a 17 year old only. Really don't see how a whole forum is needed for this.

Although I noticed this a a 2 1/2 year old thread that got bumped.....
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#23 of 39 Old 08-22-2007, 01:32 AM
 
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What I'd like to suggest is that members start a thread in Finding Your Tribe for parents of only children, this would be a great way for parents of only children to discuss the issues unique to their family.

I do worry about having too many subforums that separate our members. Though there are situations unique to being a parent of an only child or a parent of 7, most issues can be handled in our core forums.
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#24 of 39 Old 08-22-2007, 02:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pynki View Post
I think having an onlies only forum is redundant. Every mother but mothers of multiples for their 1st pg have had, and to some point raised an only child until -or if- they became pregnant again.

If there was an onlies forum then there would need to be a large families forum.
There is a big difference between your "first" child and your "only" child.

Funny to see this thread pop-up again.

Mom to Zach eat.gif , 2 cat.gif, 1dog2.gif, and a whole lot of goldfish.gif!!!! 
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#25 of 39 Old 08-22-2007, 05:48 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pynki View Post
I think having an onlies only forum is redundant. Every mother but mothers of multiples for their 1st pg have had, and to some point raised an only child until -or if- they became pregnant again.

I'm sorry but I'm really not following your logic here! A parent who has a second child when her first child is 4 years old or under (the spacing which occurs in the vast majority of families with more than one child) knows all about raising an only child?
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#26 of 39 Old 08-22-2007, 10:25 AM
 
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Old thread. :
I'm pretty sure there will not be a forum for only children added to MDC. There have been a couple of threads started in finding your tribe. I hope people reading this will find one of those.

When you know for sure that the child you are raising is the only child you will ever have is quite a different mindset than raising a first child without siblings for a few years.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#27 of 39 Old 08-22-2007, 11:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pynki View Post
I think having an onlies only forum is redundant. Every mother but mothers of multiples for their 1st pg have had, and to some point raised an only child until -or if- they became pregnant again.

If there was an onlies forum then there would need to be a large families forum.
It's not really the same thing. I don't think someone who is planning on having more than one considers themselves a parent of an only child.

It would be nice to have a forum for onlies instead of having to wade through the tribe thread to see if I can find answers to my questions. I'm willing to bet the moms of many feel the same way.
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#28 of 39 Old 08-22-2007, 11:58 AM
 
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I do agree that there are issues unique to parenting an only child, but I think those issues can be handled in a tribe thread in Finding Your Tribe. We also have a mamas of many tribe for parents with 5+.

I think we have a lot of unique parenting situations within our community, but in most cases, our standard forums can give support and information.
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#29 of 39 Old 08-22-2007, 04:33 PM
 
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I'm assuming it would be permissible for parents of only children to start a support thread in Parenting Issues or in GD like the moms of many do if there was enough interest, right?
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#30 of 39 Old 08-22-2007, 07:22 PM
 
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There has been only child threads in tribes for a long time now. I think they kind of die once in awhile though
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