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#1 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 02:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Cynthia, we would like to start a tribe of mothers who have survived abuse, and are now trying to raise their little ones with AP/NFL principles in mind. Where would be the best place for it? We want it to be a safe place- we want to do GD, but need not to feel attacked when we fail, and we want it to be a place where we can share our failures and successes and not feel judged. We were thinking personal growth, but wanted to check in first so we didn't risk it being moved. Thanks!
Annette

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#2 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 03:34 PM
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We're going to provide a private forum for this. I"ve discussed it with Peggy, she's read the other thread discussing it and she's approved.

But please be a bit patient. I'll need to set up the forum and woprk out some sort of guidelines for participation and access. It will take a bit of time.

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#3 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Cynthia, I have tears in my eyes.
THANK YOU!!!!!!
THANK PEGGY!!!!
Annette

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#4 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 03:44 PM
 
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Do you mean physically abused? :

Don't mean to butt in, but I am interested.

I was "spanked" (way excessively; you name it...I have probably been hit with it)

I have a very hard time not yelling. I also belittle my babies sometimes

It is intimidating in GD sometimes.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#5 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 03:50 PM
 
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Yup, this is exactly what we mean. Physically, emotionally, sexually...This is specifically for the trials of getting past our "programming" and parenting our kids differently!!!
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#6 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 04:00 PM
 
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I am SO HAPPY this will happen!!! IT will be so nice to have a "safe" place to discuss this part of our lives.
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#7 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 04:22 PM
 
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Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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#8 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 04:31 PM
 
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You can find me on Facebook. PM for info.
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#9 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 04:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommytoMJM
Yup, this is exactly what we mean. Physically, emotionally, sexually...This is specifically for the trials of getting past our "programming" and parenting our kids differently!!!
I literally was just crying about this last night!!!

IRL most of the people I know think spanking is ok. If I get the urge to spank, their "comforting" is...you should they deserve it!

I kills me. And I feel so alone. It is hard to share in GD because I have seen mamas attacked for just thinking non GD. It is painful. It is so difficult to reprogram your every fiber. But I desperately keep trying!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#10 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 04:38 PM
 
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Thank you Cynthia and Peggy!!!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#11 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 05:37 PM
 
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Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!
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#12 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 05:47 PM
 
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does x-spousal/partner abuse qualify?
if not, that's ok

Me & DH hug2.gif , adult DD lips.gif & 7 yo DS guitar.gif . 2 GSDs, 6 rescue kitties, 4 birds & a gerbil.
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#13 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 06:38 PM
 
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Thank you, Thank you, Cynthia & Peggy!!!

Posting nervously... After growing up with a father who did nothing but instill fear in me (to say I was relieved when he left my dear mom, and that I was old enough to not have court decide for me if I should have to see him, is an understatement) I am so grateful for this upcoming forum!! I need help working on not yelling (which was a biggy of his, which is why it kills me that I do it at all the guilt the few times I have had that as a first reaction hurts so much)

Quote:
It is painful. It is so difficult to reprogram your every fiber. But I desperately keep trying!
Yes, that's it EXACTLY!! I HATE that I ever yell, but it's like it is *programmed* in me.

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#14 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 06:52 PM
 
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Yes, thank you!
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#15 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 06:58 PM
 
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I'd like to be part of this, too.

~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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#16 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 07:46 PM
 
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Me too...Thank you!

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#17 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 07:49 PM
 
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Yes I think this is a great idea and would love to participate. I grew up with an abusive dad then lived through an abusive marriage. I do NOT want this pattern to continue through my children.
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#18 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 08:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by polka123
does x-spousal/partner abuse qualify?
if not, that's ok
I don't think any of us want to limit participation (except for making sure everyone feels safe). Partner violence can have a real effect on parenting (and self-esteem, for sure), so I think you'd be very welcome to join us.
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#19 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 08:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by polka123
does x-spousal/partner abuse qualify?
if not, that's ok
Absolutely!!!!
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#20 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 08:52 PM
 
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And I too add my heartfelt thanks to you! You do not know what this meas to those of us who have had this humiliation happen to us in our life!!!! I sooooo desperately have needed this and am so incredibly happy to have a safe place to fall!!!!
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#21 of 273 Old 02-18-2005, 09:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommytoMJM
And I too add my heartfelt thanks to you! You do not know what this meas to those of us who have had this humiliation happen to us in our life!!!! I sooooo desperately have needed this and am so incredibly happy to have a safe place to fall!!!!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#22 of 273 Old 02-19-2005, 03:42 AM
 
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I would love to participate.....asap I would love a safe, supportive place to turn to on bad days w/o being told to just "change my behavior."

Thank you so much for doing this! I loved Peggy's editorial once where she wrote that she realized Intellectually that non-GD wasn't right, but Emotionally, it was much harder to do.....I cling to the fact *even* Peggy struggled.

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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#23 of 273 Old 02-19-2005, 11:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That editorial meant a lot to me as well

Flowers, fairies, gardens, and rainbows-- Seasons of Joy: 10 weeks of crafts, handwork, painting, coloring, circle time, fairy tales, and more!
Check out the blog for family fun, homeschooling, books, simple living, and 6 fabulous children, including twin toddlers

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#24 of 273 Old 02-20-2005, 05:37 PM
 
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Maybe you could start a thread in Personal Growth while waiting for the new forum to be set up?

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#25 of 273 Old 02-21-2005, 12:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieBeary77
Help me.... plz? I need help. Where do I go for this forum?Screaming is programmed into me. I want to be deprogrammed.

Thanks.
Hi Honey-

Cynthia is doing her best to get it set up for us. I would prefer to not start a thread until then just because it won't be private, but I am online all the time usnless I am asleep of out (rarely happens) Please, please, any of you, feel free to pm, im or email me if you need to talk. I have soooo been there and will be there for you. In fact, I was just there last week! Hugs!!!!! I will PM you this too.
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#26 of 273 Old 02-21-2005, 12:57 AM
 
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I just found this thread and I would like to say thank you to Cynthia and Peggy as well.

Lately I have felt like a complete failure to my daughter due to recent issues with my DH.... I'll be so happy once this forum is up, so I don't feel like I will be treated as a failure. I have hurdles, and I know I will not succeed every time.




... just...

Thank you.

GREAT MOM to dd (5) and )ds( [sept 26 2006]
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#27 of 273 Old 02-21-2005, 03:43 AM
 
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Count me in. What a great idea. I grew up in a home w/no volume control and the belt was a means of discipline....yuk. I swore I'd never be like my parents...but after the last 2 years of rough times, my volume is too loud and I could use a good chat.
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#28 of 273 Old 02-22-2005, 09:12 AM
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We need a name for the forum. Any suggestions?

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#29 of 273 Old 02-22-2005, 09:21 AM
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Also, how will it be determined who can join the group? What would the criteria be?

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#30 of 273 Old 02-22-2005, 10:20 AM
 
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I guess criteria would include adult survivors of abuse of some kind (mental, physical, sexual, neglect). I don't know if putting something about being a member for a certain length of time (to prevent trolling) is good or not...It seems wrong to exclude anyone, and yet at the same time this is such a sensitive issue.

That's all I got for now...
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