Are PM's really PRIVATE ?? - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-19-2005, 06:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I keep hearing of folks that are kicked off MDC or getting in trouble when another member complained to the Mods of a PM between them.

Can this be explained please?
This is of great concern to me.
I though PMs were just that - PRIVATE. I thought one can communicate anything you want thru the PMs -

Also, is our personal sign-up info really private?

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Old 02-19-2005, 10:23 PM
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Cynthia may be able to shed more light on this - but here is what I know....

I cannot read PMs. UNLESS they are forwarded to me by someone. But there is not software back door that allows me, or any other moderator (unless they have some sort of super power I don't) to go into your account and read your PMs.

They are private. However, if you are being abusive and freaky in them, they can be reported and dealt with. So if you start sending freaky porn PMs - you will probably get reported and get in trouble...just sayin', since I know that is something you would do. :LOL

As for sign up info? Like what?

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Old 02-19-2005, 11:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AdinaL
.

So if you start sending freaky porn PMs - you will probably get reported and get in trouble...just sayin', since I know that is something you would do. :LOL
but if someone requested a freaky porn pm that would be okay, right?
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Old 02-20-2005, 12:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama ganoush
but if someone requested a freaky porn pm that would be okay, right?
yeah, what mama g said ?? : :

Quote:
I cannot read PMs. UNLESS they are forwarded to me by someone.
I guess that's what I mean .... like if you assume you are having a "private" conversation via PM & the person, you're talking to, decides to report you.....?
I don't know....I just thought private meant just that & that you went to maybe have words, share personal info of even that freaky porn : :

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Old 02-20-2005, 12:58 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama ganoush
but if someone requested a freaky porn pm that would be okay, right?
It's probably safer to send it via email.

Seriously, here's how I see it:

Somebody wants kefir grains, or an item I'm selling on the TP. She can email me her real addy without it being posted on the web.

However, when I get obnoxios PMs telling me that I can solve the "discipline problems" with my 8yo and includes links to a pro- corporal punishment website, I can forward the offensive PM to Cynthia and the weirdo gets kicked off MDC.

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Old 02-20-2005, 01:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla
However, when I get obnoxios PMs telling me that I can solve the "discipline problems" with my 8yo and includes links to a pro- corporal punishment website, I can forward the offensive PM to Cynthia and the weirdo gets kicked off MDC.
I've received offensive PMs but just blew them off b/c I was under the impression they were private

I mean I guess it's a suggestion - tho is may be a bad one or one you don't like.... it was sent in private not on a open venue.
I don't support it but it's like someone saying it to you in person... it can be ignored.
I guess that's my issue with things like yours.
take no offense I'm just trying to understand that it's really not private.
I guess I'm confused - which is easy for me
guess email is for me

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Old 02-20-2005, 01:28 AM
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If someone really feels uncomfortable with the PM, then they should and do report it. Most times, people ignore it if they get a nasty one.

So it just depends on the person. PMs being reported is pretty rare though. I have only had a couple forwarded to me since I have been a mod. But sometimes there are things that make people feel badly, or scared, or are innappropriate on all level.

If someone requests the freaky porn, you go right ahead, mama g!

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Old 02-20-2005, 01:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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ok.... that clears up some brain fog for me

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Old 02-20-2005, 01:59 AM
 
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also, be aware that if you send a pm that person can forward to a mod or to anyone at all who you may prefer they didn't send it to--anyone

that is the only way that my "private" messages have ever been made "unprivate" as far as I know

so if you think that could happen with that person then be careful what you say

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Old 02-20-2005, 02:38 AM
 
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Actually, I only got an offensive PM once, and by the time Cynthia posted "forward the pm to me" the member had already been banned (due to posting stuff that promoted corporal punishment.)

I can think of very few situations in which I'd forward a PM to a mod, and some of those would involve the police as well.

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Old 02-20-2005, 03:00 AM
 
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most message board software encrypts user passwords, so it would be hard for an administrator to read PMs-- as far as I know, which isn't all that much.
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Old 02-20-2005, 03:39 AM
 
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I've heard that with vBulletin Admins can access your PM's
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Old 02-20-2005, 08:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellee
I've heard that with vBulletin Admins can access your PM's
Yes. I have a friend who can. It's part of the vB package.
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Old 02-20-2005, 11:00 AM
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There is not a specific tool as part of the vB package that will allow a moderator or administrator to read a PM. If you want to check that out you can ask vBulletin [email protected]

Someone may hack their board to be able to do so but we have not.

If a member complains about inappropriate use of the PM system they may forward the PM to us as part of the complaint. If an complaint is made with accusation then we do ask for a copy of the offensive message to address the issue.

So basically you should be sure that what you send is something wanted by the member you're sending it to.

As for a member being removed due to a PM I'm sure there's much more to it than the PM. Probably a history of issues and the PM was the final incident. We don't ban or suspend a member, unless they are newly registered and are using the PM system to spam or otherwise contact members inappropriately and we've received a complaint.

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Old 02-20-2005, 02:50 PM
 
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I have reported PMs before when I've been spammed via. PM. Because it really makes me irrate to be spammed at MDC.

Incidentally, at another board (NOT MDC) I was banned for content in personal messages that the admin. was intercepting, reading, and not allowing to go through. I was "tagged" somehow, so they felt a need to read my PMs. I was subversive!!! I cannot imagine such a thing happening here though.
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Old 02-20-2005, 07:52 PM
 
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mamaduck, that must have been a spanking board. If I was at the wheel of one of those, I'd consider you subversive too
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Old 02-24-2005, 03:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AdinaL

If someone requests the freaky porn, you go right ahead, mama g!
freaky porn pm headed your way, adina.
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Old 02-24-2005, 03:29 AM
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Excellent. Just what I always wanted.

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Old 02-24-2005, 03:34 PM
 
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Remember also, that there have been cases where people have been stalked through PMs. In that case, the stalker should not expect their PM to be private. The stalker should expect that the target will be sending the PM on to a mod, if not Cynthia herself.
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Old 02-24-2005, 04:12 PM
 
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hmmm, rhonwyn, stalking through pm's? why didn't i think of that?
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Old 02-24-2005, 04:13 PM
 
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That seems pretty sneaky, mamaG- I thought you were much more straightforward than that!

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Old 02-24-2005, 04:28 PM
 
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psstt.....mama g....whatya got?
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Old 02-24-2005, 06:50 PM
 
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just some love to mama g
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Old 02-24-2005, 08:37 PM
 
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Old 02-24-2005, 09:06 PM
 
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hi good will, hows it going?
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Old 02-25-2005, 01:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
That seems pretty sneaky, mamaG- I thought you were much more straightforward than that!
yeah, i'm much more a public stalker.
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