Help Adina get Pregnant ad - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 09:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Am I the only person who is bothered by the ad that leads to this link?

http://www.sacrs.org.za/ecm21/galler...-01300813b.jpg

In fact, I have been bothered by several ads recently, but I find an ad that leads to a personal webpage that solicits donations to be rude.

Why was this ad posted?

Namaste!
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#2 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 09:53 AM
 
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It's a giraffe... am I missing something here?
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#3 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 10:06 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dharmamama
Am I the only person who is bothered by the ad that leads to this link?

http://www.sacrs.org.za/ecm21/galler...-01300813b.jpg

In fact, I have been bothered by several ads recently, but I find an ad that leads to a personal webpage that solicits donations to be rude.

Why was this ad posted?
That link leads to a giraffe. So no I'm not bothered by the link.

Adina is a mod here and many people really want to help her out. I do not think Adina personally put the ad there, I believe it was another MDC mama. There was a link explaining everything on how the ad came to be...let me see if I can find it.

If not I believe if you type in Adina you will find it. I'm sure another mama will come by and explain it better than I did.
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#4 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 10:24 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dharmamama
but I find an ad that leads to a personal webpage that solicits donations to be rude.
Let me get this right...you have a bigger problem with an add that helps a member of MDC and less for adds that sell stuff?!?

I don’t get that ~ nope, can’t relate at all.

In fact, the “Help Adina” ad is the *only* ad that I would (and have) participated in.

I would reevaluate what values are coming though for you on this one.

Namaste???

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#5 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 11:01 AM
 
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I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who saw that ad and thought "Huh?"

I find it bizarre and have not clicked on it.

Is it really about helping a mod get pregnant? By sending money? Still seems like a strange ad to me.

Maybe I'd feel different if I knew her and knew her situation.

No offence meant!

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#6 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 11:17 AM
 
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If you do a search you can find some information on the ‘birth’ of this add. The link also tells more about what the ad is for. I saw the link through a thread and was happy to have found it.

I don’t click on any advertisements. My personal fight against consumerism includes actively looking for what I want rather than being passively marketed to.

I just don’t understand *at all* what is more rude about this than, say, a floating gnome on top of the screen beckoning me to buy some beeswax.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#7 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 11:34 AM
 
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Maybe it's the wording that weirds me out. Maybe if it just said "Would you like to help out someone who's dealing with infertility?" (if that's what it's about) or something like that, I'd have a better feeling about it. Maybe I'm just a total prude, but the current wording actually has a bit of shock value for me. It seems like a very personal thing to put on a public banner.

Again, it's possible that if I knew her and knew her situation, none of this would bother me and all I'd care about was helping her. Hugs to Adina if you're reading this!

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#8 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 11:44 AM
 
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Adina has been struggling with infertility for years. If people want to help pay for her treatments, fine.

But, she is not the only woman in our community struggling with this issue and I wonder why she gets an ad and others don't. Plus I have seen Cynthia warning MDC does not officlally allow solicitations for donations for moms in need ( for example: recently a single mom fell sick and was hospitalized while in transit with two young chldren and the kids went to a local uncle who was threatening to kick them out and the mom had no money or care for them far from home. CM said mdc could not host a request for donations for this mom). Unless it is a link to a forum outside mdc?

I am confused too.
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#9 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 11:49 AM
 
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Sustainer, all you have to do to learn about Adina's situation is click on the link. It will take you to her story, not a picture of a giraffe.

DaryLLL, I am not sure, but I believe the rule you are referring to is that you can't solicit donations in your posts. But I think anyone can buy a banner ad for something that is in-line with MDC values, which this is. Also, the person you were referring to now has a sig line advertising her web business, to help her with her situation, and she said the mods specifically allowed this.

Dharmamama, can you explain please why you find this rude? Cuz I don't get it.

ETA:
here is the link
not a giraffe
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#10 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 12:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama
I don’t click on any advertisements. My personal fight against consumerism includes actively looking for what I want rather than being passively marketed to.
I'm not pro-consumerism either, but Mothering is one of the few organizations whose ads I normally appreciate. They're usually exactly what I'm looking for, and save me a lot of time and effort trying to find the products I need.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#11 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 12:10 PM
 
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I personally am struggling with my own infertility issues right now. Adina has ALWAYS been a source of comfort and inspiration, and usually a source a cheer despite her trials. Though I haven't had the finances yet to contribute, I am thrilled to be given an opportunity to give back in such a meaningful way to someone who has given so much to me.

Now, if she had placed the ad herself, I would probably feel differently. But the fact is a couple of members got together to do this for her. In fact, you would see the link is quite a lot of signatures if wasn't for the MDC policy that limits how many sigs it can appear in. I sincerely hope this ad stays put - Adina has contributed so much to this community that I feel it's only fair that members of the community have the chance to do something for her.
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#12 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 12:19 PM
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I have recently been bothered by some of the ads I've seen here too.

The siggy line ad I saw referred to a mother's illness and asked for others to buy from her because she needed help. While I will willingly donate money to someone in need, I buy products I want based on quality, the companys reliability, etc, not their need.

It seems to me that I pay for the right to have an ad here. I too have an imperfect life and problems, even an illness. But I would never think to ask for a free ad and ask people to buy from me because I need them to. I try to improve my products, service and reputation. It, to me, doesn't seem fair that some pay because they are told to and others ask to have that fee waived, unless we are all offered the same chance.

The Adina ad bothered me for a different reason. As Sustainer said, it shocked me, the wording. Like, I wasn't sure if she was looking for sperm or money, YK? I fully understand, however, if friends of hers here at MDC wish to help her. I do think it would come acrosss better if it were done as a fundraiser. " Fundraiser to help Adina get fertility treatments" would have elicited a more favorable response for me. Instead the page I read had it reading like the woman was asking directly for help. That comes across as begging, no matter how you do it. Personally, I am rooting for Adina and all infertile women. I hope money is raised tohelp her. I have been on the receiving end of financial help from neighbors and strangers and know how tough it is to NEED.

Still, I think both cases should be handled differently.
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#13 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 12:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sustainer
Maybe it's the wording that weirds me out. Maybe if it just said "Would you like to help out someone who's dealing with infertility?" (if that's what it's about) or something like that, I'd have a better feeling about it. Maybe I'm just a total prude, but the current wording actually has a bit of shock value for me.
I'm pretty sure it was kind of supposed to, 'cause it's a joke. A pun. A play on words. A way of having fun with an otherwise difficult situation. If it doesn't mesh with your sense of humor, well, nothing can please everyone.

My understanding is, Adina created the webpage, and some friends of hers who care very much about her bought the ad space which links to the webpage. They chose that wording because they found it humorous and lighthearted while also conveying the message it needed to.

But anyway, my advice is, if you don't like an ad that's running, ignore it. If you really think it violates the rules and guidelines of MDC, that's different, and you have every right to bring it up - but you should also come prepared to cite exactly what you think it violates (or what rule you think should be in place which it would then violate).

I hope none of that came across as too antagonistic. I happen to really like the ad and the webpage it links to. I'm choosing not to donate because 1) I don't actually know Adina (though I know of her, and know the basics of her story), and 2) I don't actually have any money. But, that's just my opinion, and in no way implies I think anyone needs to agree wtih me.
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#14 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 01:19 PM
 
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When I first saw the ad I was surprised and wondered what it was about... I didn't know who Adina was for some reason. :

But once I figured it out I thought it was a great idea, and am glad it is running. I like that the advertising here is (usually) for businesses whose products/philosophies are consistent with the values of this board, who are small/wahm, who I want to support. I think it's great and fitting with NFL to use ad space to provide a way for friends of somebody to work together to help with something so important.

When I see most of the ads here I sort of feel like, well advertising is annoying but at least it is for businesses I likely want to support. When I see the Adina ad I smile and wonder how she is doing. I sort of feel like I know her more now, and I hope good things for her, kwim?
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#15 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 02:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arwyn
it's a joke. A pun. A play on words.
Could you please explain how the phrase "Help Adina get pregnant" is a joke or a pun or a play on words??

What am I missing???

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#16 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 02:14 PM
 
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To the OP I also was a bit put off when I first saw that banner. I had no idea who Adina was and it just seemed weird to me. Maybe it's from too many experiences on other forums where drama queens who claimed to be in dire straits and as a result were deluged with help from friends only for us all to eventually find out this woman was just a troll. I'm not at all saying that's what the case is with this ad or this woman I'm just saying that not having any context at all for knowing the situation my initial response to someone online asking for donations is negative not positive. Yours is not the first thread to ask about this ad. I read an earlier thread in this same section with this same title and saw the explanations given. I've seen it brought up in another thread discussing objectionable ads in general and it would not surprise me to learn there have been several others. At that point it was like oh ok that's what's going on and I thought it was cool that it was something her friends had put together to help their friend. I think there does seem to be a bit of an attack on those who question it by those who are more familiar with the situation. It often seems someone asks an honest question and gets hammered with responses like "what she doesn't deserve to have a baby like everyone else" when all that's needed is response that simply explains the ad without all the ire and snarkiness. I mean there's nothing in the page or the ad to indicate this is someone who is at all associated with MDC so I think that's part of the confusion initially as well. It's like when we see the websites that ask for donations to get Cindy out of debt because she put too much on her credit cards. Without the context it is a bit jarring.
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#17 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 02:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wasabi
It often seems someone asks an honest question and gets hammered with responses like "what she doesn't deserve to have a baby like everyone else" when all that's needed is response that simply explains the ad without all the ire and snarkiness.
Wasabi, I understand what you are saying, but the original post was not exactly neutral in tone:
Quote:
Am I the only person who is bothered by the ad that leads to this link?

In fact, I have been bothered by several ads recently, but I find an ad that leads to a personal webpage that solicits donations to be rude.

Why was this ad posted?
To answer the OP's questions
- the ad was posted because several MDC mamas went together to buy advertising in the form of a banner ad. The ad (obviously) met the rules and standards of MDC or it would not be there. In fact, I would venture to say that it was probably put under more scrutiny than usual because of the unique nature of the ad

- if you find the ad rude, then don't click on it. That is certainly your perogative

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dharmamama
Am I the only person who is bothered by the ad that leads to this link?

http://www.sacrs.org.za/ecm21/galler...-01300813b.jpg

In fact, I have been bothered by several ads recently, but I find an ad that leads to a personal webpage that solicits donations to be rude.

Why was this ad posted?

Namaste!
I havent read any of the other posts... but.. i do not find the link offensive at all...

i dont know why you would think soliciting donations for a girrafe would be rude... but hey if u dont like him.. then dont click on him...

I personally love girrafes and would donate to him.. if only i knew why he was asking for them

Seperated, Cape Dress Wearing, Covered, Conservative Mennonite Mama to big girl K.
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#19 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 02:40 PM
 
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Tricia, I love you.

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#20 of 160 Old 03-06-2005, 02:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sustainer
Could you please explain how the phrase "Help Adina get pregnant" is a joke or a pun or a play on words??

What am I missing???
As someone previously mentioned, the wording is such that they were unsure whether money or sperm was being solicited. It's a double entendre, and is usually used (again, in a joking manner) to solicit sex; in this case, to solicit help with IVF funds.

If you still don't think it's funny, well, ok. If you still don't get why it's meant to be funny, though, I'm afraid I can't help further.
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#21 of 160 Old 03-09-2005, 05:37 AM
 
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fugghettaboutit
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#22 of 160 Old 03-09-2005, 06:10 AM
 
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To anyone who is anti this ad: Are you also against any soliciting for donations? (I am unclear about MDC policy regarding this, since it seems threads such as the "Christmas Needy/Helper Thread" have been tolerated year after year.) One always has the choice not to donate/participate. It is likely most of those who have donated know Adina or have been touched by her in some way. This was just a way to mobilize all the many individuals who know and love Adina at MDC to do something nice for her. I can't see what is wrong with that, especially when Adina is not the one who bought the ad space. I can see why many would be worried that someone receiving $$$ online is an imposter, but, again, no one is being forced to donate. Adina has a number of friends at MDC who are also her IRL friends. Those who have known her (IRL and online) probably feel that helping her is worth the risk. What if it was an ad soliciting donations for some other cause, like a homeless shelter or something?
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#23 of 160 Old 03-09-2005, 06:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arwyn
As someone previously mentioned, the wording is such that they were unsure whether money or sperm was being solicited. It's a double entendre, and is usually used (again, in a joking manner) to solicit sex; in this case, to solicit help with IVF funds.
You mean it's actually worded that way on purpose because it's *supposed* to bring to one's mind the idea of soliciting sex?? Um, okay. Thank you for explaining the "double meaning" (though not exactly a pun).

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#24 of 160 Old 03-09-2005, 08:48 AM
 
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I am one of the people who came up with the idea for the ads, donation page, etc. Adina not only is a moderator, but an active participant in the trying to conceive forum. When I was trying to conceive the baby I'm now holding in my arms, Adina was incredibly helpful and supportive. She always gave great advice, and never had anything but kind words for me, and countless others who asked her opinions. She offered hearty congratulations when I succeded in becoming pregnant, even though she herself was still struggling with infertility.

Originally, the idea was for a few of us to get togther to help pay for her to get a second IUI after the first one failed. Then it turned out that she was able to find the resources to do so on her own. The idea dropped for a while. When it became clear that IVF was needed, the idea resurfaced, as IVF is quite expensive. Some of us got together and started the ball rolling.

Although I can understand that if you don't know Adina, you aren't likely to donate, I hope that you won't be offended when you understand that this was something that we convinced her to do, not something she asked us to do for her. She truly has helped so many people, and many of them want to give back. This is a way of getting the word out to people who's lives she has touched.


And the double entendre of the ad is meant to be lighthearted. It almost said, "Get Adina pregnant!" which I'm sure would have been even more shocking to many. It certainly was never meant to offend, just to grab the attention, and hopefully create more interest.
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#25 of 160 Old 03-09-2005, 09:34 AM
 
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Another TTC grad who is VERY happy to support Adina in any way that I can!!!

I TTC'd for 10 mos and Adina was there supporting me month after month. My DD is now 9 mos old and we're starting to talk about TTC #2 so I will back in the TTC forums being supported by the amazing "obnoxiously positive" Adina.

I can see if you are new to these boards and haven't had the pleasure of interacting with Adina why you might find the banner to be odd, but I'm telling you, if you hung out on the TTC boards, you'd probably have a siggy link like me!!

When I saw the banner ad I was like.... YAY!! Finally...there is something I can do...besides hope and pray...for Adina!!
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#26 of 160 Old 03-09-2005, 09:49 AM
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I am sure she is a great gal and everything and I wasn't offended at the ad at all...actually, before I even clicked on it (which wasn't until this thread) I kind of had an idea what it was about so I wasn't bothered.

That said, I wouldn't donate...not because I think she's an imposter or anything, but because I would hesitate to help someone bring another human being into the world unless I KNEW, I mean with SOLID proof, that she would be the kind of parent that I would be comfortable with supporting financially and emotionally with respect to giving my money to help her conceive kwim? I know people here can vouch for her and that is great, but at the end of the day I don't have a clue as to how she would raise this human being, with what philosophies, beliefs, behaviors, discipline etc....and I am real sketchy about that yk?

That said, I do wish her luck and just wanted to post and say that I wasn't offended by the ad...
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#27 of 160 Old 03-09-2005, 10:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, two things: I clearly posted the wrong link (I had sent that link to my husband to run off a giraffe picture for our daughter) and I didn't know Adina was a moderator here.

However, I still think that the ad is in poor taste. That's just my opinion, no one else has to agree with me.

ICM, I take great offense to your questioning my value system just because I don't think MDC should be soliciting members for money to pay for someone's fertility treatments. I think you overstepped your bounds with that comment.

Sorry I even posted this.
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#28 of 160 Old 03-09-2005, 10:20 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dharmamama


ICM, I take great offense to your questioning my value system just because I don't think MDC should be soliciting members for money to pay for someone's fertility treatments. I think you overstepped your bounds with that comment.

Sorry I even posted this.
This is what happens here every time you post your opinion. No matter if it's good or bad. That's why I don't like posting my opinions any more on MDC, only questions. Sad but true. I am sorry you got offended.

and by the way, I too find that ad weird.
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#29 of 160 Old 03-09-2005, 10:20 AM
 
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Seriously, I know you meant no harm you were curious and wanted information, but I wish you didn't either.

You are always entitled to your opinion. Its just sad because when you do post your opinion (regardless of where you sit) then everyone else comes out of the woodwork and start saying mean things for something for something very innocent. Then the ball rolls and you see a lot of true colors.

Ah well, group hug.
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#30 of 160 Old 03-09-2005, 11:48 AM
 
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Location: Savoring the perfect moments
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dharmamama (did i get all the mamamas in there? )

I'm glad you posted it your feelings - even though I have a different opinion. I'm sure you weren't the only one feeling the way you do. Personally I think it's better to get things out on the table and talk about them.
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