How about an Adults-Only Forum? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 06:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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In light of the recent drama surrounding TAO, I'd like to propose a possible solution.

Why can't we have a forum where profanity and sexual innuendo IS allowed?
It seems to me that this would solve all the problems- those who find those types of posts offensive can simply avoid that forum, and those who wish to post those kinds of things can do so freely. For many people, such discussions are a part of life as adults, and, as such, part of "Natural Family Living."

I'd also like to know who determines what is "innuendo." Now, profanity is a little more clear cut- you can have a list of words that aren't allowed, and you can specify whether or not to allow "veiled profanity." But where do you draw the line between innuendo and lighthearted joking? Is "Help Adina Get Pregnant" innuendo? Obviously, that particular sentence has been approved. How can you define innuendo without becoming "The Thought Police"?

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#2 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 06:47 PM
 
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#3 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 07:01 PM
 
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I think profanity and sexual innuendo are part of the human experience as well.

A forum that allows those could perhaps have a separate agreement that you are over 18. Also maybe longer length of membership before being allowed to post.

I truly think there should be a win win solution for all.

This is a suggestion.
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#4 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 07:02 PM
 
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#5 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 07:10 PM
 
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err, I think that's a great idea (assuming someone of my meagre post counts could get in ), I love TAO, I can see that perhps it was getting a bit too "fun" but I think the response has been rather draconian, I feel like I'm in school and the teachers are coming down on us for something we did in fun..... but we aren't kids!

nothing more to say I guess :
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#6 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 07:14 PM
 
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I think an adults only fourm is a great idea. You can also make some rules like having a certain post count and being registered for a certain amount of time....have it password protected.

I volunteer to help anyway possible

Kristi

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#7 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 07:22 PM
 
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I am all for it!



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#8 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 07:26 PM
 
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I think it's a great idea, too! I'm always wondering if what I'm writing could be considered a sexual inuendo or not...

Jenn, future midwife, mama to 2 sweet girls (6/05) and (5/07). 
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#9 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 07:27 PM
 
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sounds like a cool idea.

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#10 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 07:33 PM
 
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indeed! Then you wont have to go and read it that kind of thing is upsetting

I will volunteer to be the Mod




JK! Ha :LOL
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#11 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 07:44 PM
 
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#12 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:15 PM
 
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I have to post on this too... It seems silly that grown women (and men) can not have a place to post freely! I feel like MDC is going to have many long time members finding other places to post if they are not able to speak freely here. Sometimes things are funny, sometimes sex is talked about, sometimes we just like to laugh, and if we need an adults only forum to do that, than I say lets go baby!

I 100% agree with this:

" think profanity and sexual innuendo are part of the human experience as well"

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#13 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:25 PM
 
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Another board I am a member of does have a forum exactly like this. That way no one gets offended who doesn't want to be. You have to ask for access to the forum so that keeps it from being too much of a burden on the administration and there's no issue of anyone accidentally stumbling on it.
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#14 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:25 PM
 
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Profanity and innuendo are definately in the eye of the beholder.

Like that claim about pornography...you know it when you see it.

Well.......frankly, I find the graphics on the Adina Get Pregnant advertisement (which I still don't understand) rather racy.

So, is that going to get banned because I think that? I think not.
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#15 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:28 PM
 
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huh?

I dont get that last paragraph Sohj. Can you please dumb it down a bit?
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#16 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:29 PM
 
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ITA with what everyone else said. But As mentioned in CM's post they do not consider TAO to be of any value to the community so I can't see them thinking an adult forum will be. I disagree and maybe be wrong(actually hoping I am)
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#17 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:33 PM
 
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I agree with crayon.

Really jeca? They dont see TAO as valuable to the community? I dont get this. TAO is the place where everything goes that would fall thru the cracks, the chatting, the humour. It is one of the busiest forums. I think its existence is integral to community building here.
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#18 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeca
ITA with what everyone else said. But As mentioned in CM's post they do not consider TAO to be of any value to the community so I can't see them thinking an adult forum will be. I disagree and maybe be wrong(actually hoping I am)
Yeah, I saw that too! Made me sad that they feel that way and was going to post about it but was afraid I'd get in trouble :

Thanks for having the ovaries Jeca!!
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#19 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:43 PM
 
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{QOUTE}As stated in the past TAO is a forum MDC provides as a service to the community at the request of members. But when it becomes problematic it becomes a concern, especially when the moderators find themselves spending an excessive amount of time dealing with issues that are really of no benefit to the community as a whole or Mothering' s purpose on the web. As well it creates a lot of bad feelings against the moderators and our administration of the boards.
{QOUTE}

Maybe I am understanding it differantly but it certainly seems to suggest it.I am a bit of a bubblehea I admit so feel free to school me if I am wrong.
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#20 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charmarty
huh?

I dont get that last paragraph Sohj. Can you please dumb it down a bit?

:LOL

My usual ability to write effectively is gone. My brain is fried.

Nevermind.
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#21 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
I agree with crayon.

Really jeca? They dont see TAO as valuable to the community? I dont get this. TAO is the place where everything goes that would fall thru the cracks, the chatting, the humour. It is one of the busiest forums. I think its existence is integral to community building here.
It dosn't have an actual purpose behind it like the other forums. Breatsfeeding, home care, parenting. etc it's more like a free for all.So I can certainly saee the point that it's not as valuable even if I don't agree.
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#22 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:47 PM
 
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An adults only forum would be fine.

Or I really don't have a problem with no blatant sex talk or profanity in TAO, as I have a 10 year old who sometimes pops in and reads over my shoulder...but where it gets so tricky is the no innuendo or no subtle hints at profanity. I have a hard time distinguishing between what is okay there and what is not okay.

Sometimes TAO is like Captain Underpants books, only we are all adults and instead of potty humor...it is grown-up potty humor. Still funny, probably somewhat tasteles, but not so harmful.

TAO is a place to chat, have fun and blow off steam. You have a large group of high-spirited women.. very indepedent.. really intelligent.. not so concerned with social norms or they wouldn't be here or raising their kids AP/NFL...

I suppose it's not surprising that there would be some pushing of the envelope going on.

Hope there is a way to keep TAO open.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato
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#23 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:51 PM
 
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I can't think of a better solution so I'd have to agree that perhaps an adult only forum is an answer. I loved TAO and not because I posted that much, but it was a fun place to connect with many people and heck, I always got a good chuckle. I am sore about it being closed.

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#24 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:54 PM
 
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Ruth you are awesome. Thanks for starting this thread.

I'm a member of MANY forums where there will be a folder for profanity and sexual natured talk. It is not password protected nor do you need any amount of posts. There is a warning with the folder that warns people of the nature of the discussions. This would be the only place that profanity and sexual talk was accepted.

I think it would solve all of MDC's problems to be honest. Why be so hard handed and controlling? Why not bend to the community a bit?

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#25 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 08:56 PM
 
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I'm so confused. In the statement of purpose, it says "first and foremost, for support and information. " Isn't TAO support? And community?

Then, in the User agreement, it says, " Given these guidelines, there is nothing wrong with friendly debate, socializing, and good humor."
Maybe we need a definition of innuendo? Because I don't think anyone is trying to cause trouble for the moderators, but it just seems like the rules are getting stricter and stricter, so something that was OK last week is now getting a post pulled, a thread moved, or a member warned. It's very confusing.

Myself, I am going to be very very very sad if there's no TAO, and I haven't even been around half as long as many here. I can't imagine what we'd all do without this community.
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#26 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 09:04 PM
 
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Well I read CM's post and it looks like it's only temporarily closed.

I really do value TAO as a source of support and community building. All the innuendo is community building too... it's funny! And rebellious... too bad the dynamic exists where there is some sort of anti sexual "authority" to rebel against.

Why not just make TAO "adults only"?
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#27 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 09:07 PM
 
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Good Idea Thismama
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#28 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 09:18 PM
 
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Similar ideas have been brought up here before, but it has always come down to the management fee;ling like this should be a completely "family" friendly site.

personally, i'm blown away (wait, i said blown. is that innuendo? i'm confused) by the fact that we are mostly all mothers by virtue of the fact that we had, yes, SEX, and that we are unable to talk about it here, on a site for mothers.
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#29 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 09:22 PM
 
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Sex?

I'm still a virgin...

but this is an old post.


Bring back the TOA! And allow adults to speak openly and candidly.
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#30 of 140 Old 03-14-2005, 09:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse
personally, i'm blown away (wait, i said blown. is that innuendo? i'm confused) by the fact that we are mostly all mothers by virtue of the fact that we had, yes, SEX, and that we are unable to talk about it here, on a site for mothers.
Well I for one didn't get pregnant by having sex. But even my pure self is willing to wade into the trenches with you tramps.
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