Something's gotta give with the "gay" signatures - Page 5 - Mothering Forums
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#121 of 130 Old 05-28-2005, 05:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happyhippiemama
ITA. But I don't declare myself to be lesbian. I am actually in agreement with Kincaid in regards to some of the siggies. My novel of a post was based on the evolution of the thread, not the OP per se.

What I take issue with is the idea that if I end up with a woman, I automatically "turn into" a lesbian, or if I'm with a man, I'm not allowed to consider myself queer, or to live my life with my family as a queer family.

Hope that clears some things up.
Didn't mean to infer that you were declaring yourself lesbian.. was just trying to use an example since you had specifically declared yourself as bisexual already, hope I didn't offend.

I completely understand the idea of automatically being labeled one thing because of what your current situation happens to be. I must say that honestly, IRL the only bisexuals I know that are married to men, tend to be very secretive about the bisexual part of their lives, as if they are ashamed. I think it is great to see so many of the bisexual mamas on here being so up front about it.

Me: married to my :fireman Mama to my littles: Toby 8/04 and Elina 10/08
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#122 of 130 Old 05-28-2005, 06:03 PM
 
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Kincaid...WOW...you are so pretty. Your family is very lucky as are you. I am so APRRECIATIVE of your ability to share your feelings in a respectful, gentle way and I have been reading this thread with interest. Honestly, I am not in anyway attracted to the same sex so I do not have anything to offer to this conversation with regard to that. But wanted to let you know you are valued here, your opinion is just as important as anyones, and you are a shining example of HOW to express your opinion without belittling, backdooring, or using hurtful innuendos. We have all felt misunderstood, disrepected, and ignored at one point or another here. Being true to yourself is key to education and enlightenment and by posting here to express yourself the way you did, speaks volumes about your truth. Peace.

Edited a word...thanks the_lissa.....
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#123 of 130 Old 05-28-2005, 06:50 PM
 
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Do you mean you are not attracted to the same sex dallaschildren?

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

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#124 of 130 Old 05-28-2005, 06:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by the_lissa
Do you mean you are not attracted to the same sex dallaschildren?
Correctomundo King Friday! Touche....yes, I meant SAME sex. :LOL Good catch...
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#125 of 130 Old 05-28-2005, 07:58 PM
 
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happyhippiemama ROCKS! Excellent posts!

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#126 of 130 Old 05-28-2005, 11:22 PM
 
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The race analogy that I prefer (and I do like race/sexuality analogies, at least to a point) in regards to bisexuality is that of a person who is, themselves, multiracial. Especially someone who is multiracial but can "pass" as different races depending on whom she's standing next to. [whom, right? correct me if I'm wrong.]

So the equivilent of a bi woman who mates with a man is not a white woman who has the potential to enjoy being with black men, it's a multiracial woman who is in a relationship with a white man, and her kids look white, and she looks white... At that point, it's a matter of culture. Is she, or she and her family, involved in black or multiracial culture (whatever that means to them - not implying there's "one" culture per race any more than there's one culture per sexual orientation or one culture per country. anyway.), or is she/are they "all white"? Not that that's an either/or, and not that being "white" in culture would negate her "black-ness", but she does have a choice to id as black or id as white or id as multiracial, and all would be authentic - and I know many people who change what they id as depending on what is easiest for them, and I know many people who change what they id as depending on what would provoke the most horizon expansion.

To a certain extent, her relationship would be multiracial/transracial, because she is multiracial, even if she did look, act, talk, etc "white". So I do think bi women, even mated to het men, do have the right to claim a queer relationship, though I also think it makes more sense to do so if she/they is/are involved in queer culture, or in some other way creating her identity as integrally queer.

That wasn't really pertinent to the original topic, but I really wanted to get it said.

Also, one thing that I don't think has been mentioned on this thread is that some people IDed as "Gay" in their sigs because of an online test that, no matter your answers or your proclaimed sexuality, placed everyone on a spectrum of "Gay". So it may still have been in poor taste (although I disagree with that, but you're certainly entitled to your feelings, and if someone was that offended by it, then in the interest of board peace, I do think it would be a good idea to change those sigs), but it wasn't coming from a "I like tits and a@@, so I'm gay!" standpoint. It was coming from a "look, this test I took [that didn't ask about sex at all, for what it's worth] said I was gay!" thang. So yea, it may come across as all about sex, but, for some people, that is so not where it was coming from. Just for what that's worth.
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#127 of 130 Old 05-29-2005, 01:44 AM
 
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Originally Posted by happyhippiemama

Okay, I'm going to alter something I just said. Maybe I am bi because of who I have sex with. But I am QUEER because of the lifestyle I lead, and I will lead that lifestyle regardless of who I am committed to. I am an activist, I am involved, queer rights are important to me and thus to my loved ones. I do not buy into much of what is considered traditional in regards to relationships.


and to the rest of your post, too.

Kincaid, nice lookin' family you've got there.
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#128 of 130 Old 05-29-2005, 02:04 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lasiuslightning
BUT...

I dont know if this was mentioned at all...

From what I've read people here seem to think it's cut and dry.

If you are a woman and are WITH a woman, you are lesbian.
If you are a man and are WITH a man, you are gay.
If you are a man (or woman) with a person of the opposite sex as you, you are heterosexual.

It is NOT that cut and dry!!

What about the women out there who feel more than anything that they ARE men? That firmly believe they should have been born a man and they like women but are grossly OFFENDED when they are called lesbian? They prefer to be called GAY. (I use this as an example because my daughter's godFATHER is a born female but is a man in soul, nature, and mind and HATES it when he is reffered to as a lesbian, female, or anything else in that way)

What if... that signature "I'm a lesbian and my husband is too!!" IS TRUE? I know that my DD's Godfather has always reffered to herself as a HUSBAND and a FATHER.

What about those who've had sex changes? Was a woman, is now a man... and is married to a woman and calls themselves a husband?

And the bisexuals? Male or female, all the bisexuals have half their rights taken from them if they chose to be with someone the same sex as them. Dont say it's any easier for them. If anything, it's as heartwrenching as it is for a gay couple.

Example: Jane is bisexual. She loves both Jim and Jill. She legally marries Jim, while still loving Jill. All the heartache of being unable to legally be recognized with Jill. All the pain and sorrow of knowing that they can never "be together" in the eyes of the law.... while society looks at Jane as a straight well put together housewife and mother. No one will ever fully understand the pain and heartache that could be within her soul.

It isnt easier for ANYONE. Not even the heterosexuals. Their problems might be DIFFERENT, but by no means is it easier.


I didn't read the whole thread so if this was covered, I'm sorry.
I've been out of commision for awhile...
Beautifully written...

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#129 of 130 Old 05-29-2005, 02:05 AM
 
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Wemoon.... My heart truly aches for you. I am so sorry you are going through this right now

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#130 of 130 Old 05-29-2005, 02:10 AM
 
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Kincaid....you have a beautiful family.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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