WAS - another plea...NOW -discussion about Diapering - Page 7 - Mothering Forums
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#181 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 09:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sustainer
Another misrepresentation. I am not aware of any instance of someone being called a troll just for posting in the forum when they haven't regularly posted there in the past. The only incident I'm aware of when someone was called a troll, it was because they seemed to be mocking us.

There have always been people coming into the diapering forum who haven't posted regularly there before, or who haven't posted at all there before, and they have always been welcomed with open arms.

I fail to see how this is a misrepresentation when this has happened to me at least three times, and I am not the only one that it has happened to. Just because you didn't do it or you didn't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

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#182 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 09:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by liawbh
If I recall correctly, there was quite a bit of discussion, and many many ideas were tossed around.
This discussion happened after the request was made to remove the hyenas from Diapering, and after a mod told those making the request that hyena-talk would soon be separated from non-hyena-talk. Again, I think that most of the people against the split would have welcomed a mod simply bringing up a split for organizational purposes, but they believe that the "quite a bit of discussion" that you're referring to was in direct response to the request to separate out the hyenas.

And I apologize if my use of the term "old Diapering regulars" isn't entirely accurate. I did say that it was in lieu of a more appropriate term. I just didn't want to say "the Diapering regulars who made Diapering their home but left after the 'reogranization' drama." I was trying to be more concise. I hope this explains it.
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#183 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 09:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Pynki
Making LESS than minimum wage making it almost sweatshop like conditions?


I doubt most WAHM's are making a living wage.
I wasn't going to comment on this aspect of the discussion, but this is getting silly. Someone sewing in her own home is like a *sweatshop* worker?? She sets the price to whatever amount she chooses. She's paying *herself* less than minimum wage.

As far as working toward WAHMs making a living wage, I believe the point was to defend paying $25 or more for a fitted diaper.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#184 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 09:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tara
So, when that mama posted a picture of her sweet babe in a fringed dishtowel diaper and somebody got sarcastic and snarky with her, was that a misunderstanding? If so, did that poster ever say so, apologize?
Like I said, I did not read that whole thread. I did not get to the alleged sarcasm. It wouldn't surprise me though, if someone got defensive after the snarky comment that the frugal mama made. I read enough of it to know that there was more to it than people just innocently celebrating a dishtowel and then getting negative comments out of the blue.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#185 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 09:57 PM
 
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Is anyone who made it this far into the thread still wondering why I don't recommend MDC to people I meet IRL? (Rhetorical question.)

It seems we're darned if we do and darned if we don't. If we buy an inexpensive WAHM diaper, we're treating the WAHM like a sweatshop worker. If we buy a more expensive WAHM diaper, we're spending too much money for a diaper.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#186 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 10:06 PM
 
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Just chiming in here for a sec...

I tried to hang out in Diapering. Even tried to get into the hyena thing. It really didn't work for me. This was pre-split, btw.
The whole attitude there was about stalking and the latest and greatest and most costly. I swear, I kept looking for someone to post about a Prada cloth diaper or something! There was a definite feel to the place that diapers came first, and kids came second. Especially when people would post about putting their kids on hold, so they could stalk dipes. It really didn't feel AP or NFL or anything other than consumeristic to me.
I'm glad that the board has been split. At least now, when I want to read about diapers, I can avoid those depressing stalker threads altogether, and just get the info I'm looking for.

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#187 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 10:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sustainer

It seems we're darned if we do and darned if we don't. If we buy an inexpensive WAHM diaper, we're treating the WAHM like a sweatshop worker. If we buy a more expensive WAHM diaper, we're spending too much money for a diaper.
Amen.
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#188 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 10:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by fullofgrace
Not all those who diaper their kids in hyena diapers are overconsumerists because they purchase a hyena diaper.

Not all those who diaper their kids in hyena diapers can claim to be NFL because they buy cloth diapers.
that Doesn't sound like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't to me... Unless you're feeling like a victim and seeing everything through that lens.
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#189 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 10:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lotusdebi
There was a definite feel to the place that diapers came first, and kids came second.
I have to strongly disagree with this. If it seems like the focus is on diapers, that's because it's a diaper message board so that's what we talk about.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#190 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 10:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sustainer
Is anyone who made it this far into the thread still wondering why I don't recommend MDC to people I meet IRL?
Is this meant to insult MDC in general or just the diapering forum?
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#191 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 10:30 PM
 
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I was going to ask about that, too, mamajama.
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#192 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 10:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamajama
Is this meant to insult MDC in general or just the diapering forum?
It's not meant to insult anyone. It's just that I said earlier in the thread that I don't want to recommend the diapering board to people IRL because of the way things have been there since the split, and I think that this thread gives an indication of some of the things I was referring to.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#193 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 10:45 PM
 
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nevermind. No point.
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#194 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 10:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sustainer
I have to strongly disagree with this. If it seems like the focus is on diapers, that's because it's a diaper message board so that's what we talk about.
You're free to disagree with my perceptions. As I am free to disagree with yours.
I have no problem with the focus being on diapers in a diapering forum. What turned me off was the repeat references to the children not being a priority during stalkings. And the constant "need" for MORE MORE MORE!

More recently, the turn offs have been the classist attitudes that I've seen. The "oh, I'm rich, so I can afford hundreds of expensive diapers, but I give to the poor, so I'm doing my duty" attitudes are a serious turn-off. Which is why I don't recommend the diapering forum to prospective cloth diaperers.

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#195 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 10:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamajama
I'm sad to say, I was certainly *not* welcomed with open arms.

You didn't "flame" me spatulagirl, but you did tell me that S&T was for showing expensive diapers and that regular flats or prefolds or whatever should be shown in the main Diapering forum.
I am sorry you didn't feel welcome. Hyenas are tender and most of us feel attacked and pushed in our little corner. I am trying to remember your first real introductory post and I think it was one of the ones that got deleted.

And I don't think I made a comment exactly like that but I do remember saying that I was teasing and that it wasn't directed towards you. It was directed towards TPTB. Based on the whole history of the split. Which started as frugal diapering VS non frugal diapering and where this whole US vs THEM thing started.

Oh and if you hang out there, you will notice that they do keep things considered "hyena" in the S&T forum and those considered "frugal or simple" in the main forum.

Almost 70% of my posts are in diapering. I really really love diapers. I do. Everyone knows that. And just because I am a hyena doesn't mean I am non-NFL, evil consumerist who shoves their kids in front of the TV to shut them up so I can stalk diapers.

Are there idiots who post in diapering? Damn right there are, just like there are idiots who post in every forum at MDC. Just because one persons emotions runs high and they say stupid things doesn't mean everyone is like that.

Anyway, I don't go around flaming or knocking people for how they choose to diaper. I have better things to do with my time.

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#196 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 11:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lotusdebi
I have no problem with the focus being on diapers in a diapering forum. What turned me off was the repeat references to the children not being a priority during stalkings..
I don't think people sit there and say they lock the kids up while stalking? Maybe in the olden days prior to Hyena Cart. Now stalkings take a few seconds. Although a child climbing into my lap might mean I miss out on something but it isn't the end of the world. Some people might think so but then I would say that those people have bigger problems than their diaper addiction.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lotusdebi
And the constant "need" for MORE MORE MORE! .
Sorry but I think there are more harmful things in the world than owning a lot of diapers or wanting more.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lotusdebi
More recently, the turn offs have been the classist attitudes that I've seen. The "oh, I'm rich, so I can afford hundreds of expensive diapers, but I give to the poor, so I'm doing my duty" attitudes are a serious turn-off. Which is why I don't recommend the diapering forum to prospective cloth diaperers.
This is your perception but it is a shame you look at it like that. MDC diapering mamas are the most generous ones I know. If only I could go into specifics but there are a lot of diapering moms who have helped a lot of MDC moms out over the years.

Sorry. But the diapering mamas I know, here at MDC, are the ones who give the most.

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#197 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 11:04 PM
 
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That was my post with the fringed towel diaper. There was ONE, ONE post that was nasty and then it went away forever. My post wasn't a mocking one, it didn't have a tone to it, I just wanted to "Show and Tell" about my ute kiddo and his silly diaper while the rest where in the wash. It was perfectly FINE until that last post. I've got all the replies in my in-box still.
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#198 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 11:29 PM
 
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This is so silly. Absolutely ridiculous. Another reminder of why I don't come out of the Diapering forum very often. This community has meant so much to me over the years. I have been working so much on the Holiday Helper thread and I am just exhausted. The claims being thrown around here are just wrong. No hyena gives .02 what another mom chooses to diaper her child in. The regular posters at Diapering are passionate about using CD's and embrace all the choices. I have never seen the type of bizarre behavior some people in this thread claim to be witness too. If it did happen, what on earth does that have to do with the forum splitting? How is it relevant to the topic at hand?

On one hand people are saying the split was purely for organization...and on the other hand people defend the split by citing issues with "Hyenas". Which is it? Do you support the split because it keeps things organized, or do you support the split because you want the hyenas to stay a safe distance away? I'm confused.

More recently, the turn offs have been the classist attitudes that I've seen. The "oh, I'm rich, so I can afford hundreds of expensive diapers, but I give to the poor, so I'm doing my duty" attitudes are a serious turn-off. Which is why I don't recommend the diapering forum to prospective cloth diaperers.

CLASSIST? I cannot believe I just read that. Are you serious? Who runs around saying they are rich? Are you just assuming they are rich?
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#199 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 11:42 PM
 
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I saw the comments as well, on a disappeared thread. We can't name names or reference disappeared threads and what were said in them because of the UA. We're all trying to abide by what we were given, but I'm sure someone somewhere has it in there inbox from subbing to the thread.

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#200 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 11:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Damiarayne
That was my post with the fringed towel diaper. There was ONE, ONE post that was nasty and then it went away forever. My post wasn't a mocking one, it didn't have a tone to it, I just wanted to "Show and Tell" about my ute kiddo and his silly diaper while the rest where in the wash. It was perfectly FINE until that last post. I've got all the replies in my in-box still.
If you were the original poster of that thread, then no, your post did not have a mocking tone to it. You were just sharing a dishtowel that you used as a diaper and I thought that was really cool. The first snarky post in the thread, though, was from a frugal mama. Her comment was something along the lines of the fact that she could come to the diapering forum now because there could be "threads like this" (about frugal diapers) now. The implication was that threads about frugal diapering would not have been welcomed on the diapering board in the old days, which is completely untrue and insulting. I didn't say anything. I just stopped reading the thread and didn't go back to it. It's a shame when cool threads about frugal diapering include comments like that. It has been happening more frequently since the split.

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Originally Posted by mamajama
well you better ask then Tara because, if I recall correctly, this frugal mama is on her ignore list.
No one is on my ignore list. I've never used that feature in my life.

I do unsubscribe from threads, though, and that's what I'm going to do now. It's been real.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#201 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 11:44 PM
 
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I think that diapering mamas should not have to talk about their giving/ charitable habits either. My feeling is that only happens when someone pops into a thread suggesting their money should go elsewhere or there are a lot of poorer people in the world, a disparity etc where their money could be better used. Then they may be inclined to point out that they do indeed give. However, that's never enough either.

You do know that people in diapering are not the only people buying "stuff" right? People in MDC are contributing to consumerism in all sorts of ways. Some of them are driving cars, going to movies, eating fast food, buying toys, body products, slings, yarn etc, shopping at dubious places, etc etc. Some of them are driving to these places too. There are plenty of less than perfect worlds going on out there. Do we really want to go toe to toe about who is more NFL? I think we should just chill and focus on the diapers and cd'ing (in the Diapering Forums at any rate)and that any disrespectful posting should not be tolerated by the mods, whether regarding frugal or hyena diapering, and even if you perceive someone to have more diapers than you think they should need.

As for the split. I already stated my position, but I don't really mind it. I want as many people as possible to cd and if the split facilitates that, then I am for it. I do think the process by which it happened, and the complaints people made were hurtful. I don't think it was so much the split as the politics behind it that were hurtful.

I hope that every cd'ing or potential cd'ing parent can find their place at MDC. I don't feel like the board was unfriendly the old way, but plenty of people have said they do and so I believe them.

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#202 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 11:54 PM
 
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You do know that people in diapering are not the only people buying "stuff" right? People in MDC are contributing to consumerism in all sorts of ways. Some of them are driving cars, going to movies, eating fast food, buying toys, body products, slings, yarn etc, shopping at dubious places, etc etc. Some of them are driving to these places too. There are plenty of less than perfect worlds going on out there. Do we really want to go toe to toe about who is more NFL? I think we should just chill and focus on the diapers and cd'ing (in the Diapering Forums at any rate)and that any disrespectful posting should not be tolerated by the mods, whether regarding frugal or hyena diapering, and even if you perceive someone to have more diapers than you think they should need.
True as this may be we don't have entire threads about... Check out my garages of biodiesel fuelled cars, or check out my kids 2 rooms of completely wooden handmade waldorfian toys.

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#203 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 11:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Oceanone
I think that diapering mamas should not have to talk about their giving/ charitable habits either. My feeling is that only happens when someone pops into a thread suggesting their money should go elsewhere or there are a lot of poorer people in the world, a disparity etc where their money could be better used. Then they may be inclined to point out that they do indeed give. However, that's never enough either.

You do know that people in diapering are not the only people buying "stuff" right? People in MDC are contributing to consumerism in all sorts of ways. Some of them are driving cars, going to movies, eating fast food, buying toys, body products, slings, yarn etc, shopping at dubious places, etc etc. Some of them are driving to these places too. There are plenty of less than perfect worlds going on out there. Do we really want to go toe to toe about who is more NFL? I think we should just chill and focus on the diapers and cd'ing (in the Diapering Forums at any rate)and that any disrespectful posting should not be tolerated by the mods, whether regarding frugal or hyena diapering, and even if you perceive someone to have more diapers than you think they should need.

As for the split. I already stated my position, but I don't really mind it. I want as many people as possible to cd and if the split facilitates that, then I am for it. I do think the process by which it happened, and the complaints people made were hurtful. I don't think it was so much the split as the politics behind it that were hurtful.

I hope that every cd'ing or potential cd'ing parent can find their place at MDC. I don't feel like the board was unfriendly the old way, but plenty of people have said they do and so I believe them.
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#204 of 644 Old 12-15-2005, 11:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Pynki
True as this may be we don't have entire threads about... Check out my garages of biodiesel fuelled cars, or check out my kids 2 rooms of completely wooden handmade waldorfian toys.
well i could see how we would have threads like that if we had forums dedicated to those things.
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#205 of 644 Old 12-16-2005, 12:01 AM
 
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But that would be consumeristic wouldn't it? Not particularly NFL?

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#206 of 644 Old 12-16-2005, 12:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Pynki
Making LESS than minimum wage making it almost sweatshop like conditions?


I doubt most WAHM's are making a living wage.
So are hyena diapers UNDERpriced or OVERpriced? I'm so confused...

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#207 of 644 Old 12-16-2005, 12:03 AM
 
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True as this may be we don't have entire threads about... Check out my garages of biodiesel fuelled cars, or check out my kids 2 rooms of completely wooden handmade waldorfian toys.
Right, well that's sort of my point really. There are plenty of threads where such activities are mentioned though. Personally I'd rather spend cash on a good fitted than a Mickey D's drive-thru. Should we call each person in to account and start up a tallyboard?

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#208 of 644 Old 12-16-2005, 12:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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But that would be consumeristic wouldn't it? Not particularly NFL?
maybe to some, but maybe not I guess it would depend on whether they all got put to good use. I dont judge people on what they do or don't buy.
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#209 of 644 Old 12-16-2005, 12:04 AM
 
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I think SOME of the hyena diapers/covers are overpriced, I think that a lot of non hyena WAHM's are UNDERpriced.

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#210 of 644 Old 12-16-2005, 12:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Oceanone
I hope that every cd'ing or potential cd'ing parent can find their place at MDC. I don't feel like the board was unfriendly the old way, but plenty of people have said they do and so I believe them.
Thank you! This is the kindest thing I think a fellow diapering mama could say, especially considering this emotional thread. Being thoughtful of others feelings is just... well, wonderful. Thank you Oceanone, for being willing to take the feelings of others at face value, consider them, and respect them. That's putting all MDC diapering mamas on the same level and being mindful of the heart behind the poster. That is all I've asked for from both sides.

So again, thank you for looking at and believing both sides!

Wife of 1. Mom of 3. Conquering disability challenges, one achievement at a time.
 

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