Birth & Beyond: C/S sub-forum? - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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#151 of 172 Old 01-20-2006, 11:22 PM
 
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Surgical Birth, Healing and Hope"

"NFL/AP after Surgical Birth"

I like both of these...

I hope that admin considers a trial run of this and if needed close the board but at least give it a try...just my 2 cents...
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#152 of 172 Old 01-21-2006, 01:42 PM
 
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Hi mamas

I like "surgical birth" -- it puts you on notice that this is not your typical c/s discussion right away. And I love the notion of including words such as "healing" or "hope." Wonderful.

You guys are great. I love MDC. I am so grateful places like this exist. I can get so discouraged, when I read the newspaper, about politics and life in our culture today. I am so grateful for friends here and IRL that remind me, it doesn't have to be this way. We have choices!

Sorry, more first trimester emotions!! I've actually got tears in my eyes!



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#153 of 172 Old 01-22-2006, 12:03 AM
 
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Okay, I agree that we should "activism" out of the title since that would invite debate. I think the vbac forum seems to cover a lot of activism related topics.

My vote goes to either:

"Surgical Birth: Support and Wisdom"
or
"Surgical Birth: Healing and Hope"

The more I think about it, the more I like using "surgical birth." We keep the word birth in there which I think is so important. "C-section" is such an impersonal, procedural-sounding word.



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#154 of 172 Old 01-22-2006, 02:18 AM
 
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I like nfl/ap after surgical birth. I like focusing on what happens after, rather than during, since after is presumably when most people will be here. (But that raises the question . . . what about about non-elective planned first time c/s? Yes, it can happen, rare though it may be . . .)

I agree that keeping the word birth is important. I'm sure I'm not the only woman to wonder if what I went through was really worthy of the name birth. It is.
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#155 of 172 Old 01-22-2006, 02:56 AM
 
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Then again, I just went back and read some of the earlier posts and I've concluded that what we really need is our own independent site. I'm beginning to question whether we will ever find enough agreement on this subject to have a successful forum here.

What I find most disturbing is that so many posters speak repeatedly of the mythical "truly necessary c/s". Sure, many births are simple yes or no, but for most, it's really about weighing risks that are unknown at best. Like my friend who had a bad accident w/multiple pelvic fractures a yr before her breech birth. She had a planned c/s. I'm sure 95% of MDs would say it was necessary, but you could find some hippie crunchy granola MWs who would be thrilled to HB in this case, they would say the c/s was unnecessary. Ultimately, doesn't it have to be the mom who makes the decision?

I say let's start our own NFL surgical birth support website. It could start with basic education about the issues, for the purpose of empowerment; have a philosophical statement that spells out that we are not in favor of elective c/s; then provide safe space for women to speak their truth freely.
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#156 of 172 Old 01-22-2006, 09:00 AM
 
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i too would love to see a cesarean forum here!.i hadnt seen this thread, hence i posted the "healing after cesarean" somewhere else..(which i am not able to find now!).
i have read so much about normal birth..and absolutely nothing about healing after cesarean...
i know its greatly needed, coz i have had bad recovery after cesarean-both physically and menatally..
i am due for my 3rd one, in about 20 days time, and this time, i am trying to be positive, and wanted to look for support..
So, i do hope we can start one here..where we can all dicuss and share our experiences...
And feel postive about the whole thing, for those of us who have no choice...
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#157 of 172 Old 01-22-2006, 11:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richella
What I find most disturbing is that so many posters speak repeatedly of the mythical "truly necessary c/s". Sure, many births are simple yes or no, but for most, it's really about weighing risks that are unknown at best.
Right! Thats what I keep trying to say. There are more issues than just the "medical necessity" of it. Legal constraints, provider availability, insurance issues, spousal issues, past birth history, etc etc. Its not so clear cut, which is why support is needed.

My Dr told me during my surgery, its too bad you didnt go into labor on your own because this baby would have been a great breech delivery. But we had issues of only one Dr around who agreed to the breech V-birth who was leaving for a week, my DH and MWs uncomfortable with a home breech V-birth (so even if I found another MW, DH was an issue), a history of a 9lb+ baby, being postdates with no sign of engagement...but yes, in hindsight I wish I waited since she was a tiny 7lb thing. Still didnt mean I wouldn't have ended up with an oncall Dr who would have sent me to the OR even if we arrived with her butt hanging out of me. Sucks!

Which is why I dont mind advocacy being a part of it. If there were more OBs in this area willing to attend breech, and available to backup my Dr, I might have been able to avoid the surgery. And the reason they werent available was all due to malpractice insurance concerns. I blame that for my c/s. My uterus was a victim of someone's bottom line...

Jenn, perpetually tired mom to DS(9): DD(4.5): DD(2) :
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#158 of 172 Old 01-22-2006, 01:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richella
Like my friend who had a bad accident w/multiple pelvic fractures a yr before her breech birth. She had a planned c/s. I'm sure 95% of MDs would say it was necessary, but you could find some hippie crunchy granola MWs who would be thrilled to HB in this case, they would say the c/s was unnecessary.
You're absolutely right about that. And it seems unlikely that such moms will post in a forum devoted to surgical birth. Sure, there may be a few who post just because they are making assumptions or have the thought of "informing" posters to a surgical birth forum, but I think they will be the vast minority. I don't read or post in the forums with which I don't philosophically agree, whether they be at MDC or elsewhere...am I naive to think most others won't either?

Quote:
I say let's start our own NFL surgical birth support website. It could start with basic education about the issues, for the purpose of empowerment; have a philosophical statement that spells out that we are not in favor of elective c/s; then provide safe space for women to speak their truth freely.
I have a plan on the back-burner to start such a forum elsewhere if the request here is ultimately denied, or if the forum is started here but doesn't seem to be able to meet the need. I'm inclined to wait and see what Cynthia's decision is first, because I still think that such a forum is definitely needed here...but yes, that is always a possibility.
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#159 of 172 Old 01-24-2006, 11:36 AM
 
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i had posted a thread on"healing after cesarean",i am unabale to search it.please can someone help me in doing so..
Thanks
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#160 of 172 Old 01-24-2006, 12:54 PM
 
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I would like to know who thinks having a c-section is conveinent. That is the dumbest thing i've ever heard. I had a c-section with my first daughter and it was not a pleasent experience. People can call it what they want but the fact of the matter is just this. Whether you have a vaginal birth (*normal) or a c-section the end is result is still a lovable child. You can call it a surgical birth but, The 12 staples i had above my pelvic bone was just down right pain. I was in labor for 56 hours, 18 hard labor and for some reason my cervix just would not soften. My doctor tried everything.
If people want to have a forum for mothers who have had c-sections or going to have one, let them. All you people who think they are unnecessary, you don't know what its like to be in labor for 56 hours, and deep down want a vaginal birth, in the end I just wanted my daughter. It happens :
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#161 of 172 Old 01-24-2006, 02:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BensMom
Right! Thats what I keep trying to say. There are more issues than just the "medical necessity" of it. Legal constraints, provider availability, insurance issues, spousal issues, past birth history, etc etc. Its not so clear cut, which is why support is needed.
Good point! Once you've had a c-section, for whatever reason, all these issues come into play. Women trying to work through them need a great deal of support. They (well, I should say "we") need support and help beyond simply being told to find a midwife, even if it means traveling 4 hours. While I am completely supportive of actually going out and finding a midwife no matter what distance you must travel, women need to hear BTDT stories, they need to feel empowered, they need support in working out logistics and they need to keep things as stress-free as possible. I think a separate forum would better serve women faced with this issues. Unfortunately, if you haven't had a c-s and you haven't been looking into these issues, the answers are a lot more complex than they sound.

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#162 of 172 Old 01-24-2006, 04:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zs25
i had posted a thread on"healing after cesarean",i am unabale to search it.please can someone help me in doing so..
Thanks
Here it is:
http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...d.php?t=398118
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#163 of 172 Old 01-24-2006, 04:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dlm194
I think a separate forum would better serve women faced with this issues. Unfortunately, if you haven't had a c-s and you haven't been looking into these issues, the answers are a lot more complex than they sound.
Hmm...I just had the thought that perhaps having a separate forum where c/s questions could be asked and answered, would remove them from B&B and the pregnancy forum, where they are simply targets for people who don't know first-hand what the experience is like and have preconceived notions about it.

Maybe that's why people have felt hostility from others when posting c/s threads--because it's too tempting for those non-BTDT moms to hop into the thread and comment, when it's sandwiched between threads on RRL tea and avoiding episiotomies. If that's true, then separating the c/s threads to a new forum would effectively quell the problem, right? Again, am I being naive? I tend to think people are much more likely to post in a thread unrelated to them, if it's peppered amongst the other threads that they are connected to, than if it's in a forum that they have no intrinsic interest in.

In which case, if I'm right, then MDC is a good place for this forum. Thoughts?
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#164 of 172 Old 01-24-2006, 07:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AndiB
I just had the thought that perhaps having a separate forum where c/s questions could be asked and answered, would remove them from B&B and the pregnancy forum, where they are simply targets for people who don't know first-hand what the experience is like and have preconceived notions about it.

Maybe that's why people have felt hostility from others when posting c/s threads--because it's too tempting for those non-BTDT moms to hop into the thread and comment, when it's sandwiched between threads on RRL tea and avoiding episiotomies.
Andi- Well said. I agree entirely. I've had an emerg. c-section and would like very much to do a vbac. There are many complicated issues I have questions on regarding whether I can or cannot do this. I would love to post here with other NFL moms and ask for help in noodling this out in the next several months. However, I would *never* feel comfortable posting on the B and B / preg forum. I agree, people are naturally drawn in to a discussion when it is plop in the middle of their board. If the discussion is segregated, at least there is a chance to have a judgement - free talk with other moms that have BTDT.
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#165 of 172 Old 01-25-2006, 03:15 PM
 
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I think the subforum answer will take a bit, but I'd like to get started on a c/s sticky in B&B for the time being. Please come share helpful links and information. It will be in the Birth & Beyond main forum.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#166 of 172 Old 04-10-2007, 08:29 PM
 
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I'm obviously late to this thread...but I wanted to put in my opinion...

If I hadn't had MamaPear to call when I was being taken for a section for my premature daughter due to HELLP (want more info on what happened or why see my birth story - http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=630328 ) I never would have remembered some of the things to say or do so that I could come a little closer to my desired birth (: as if there was much left at that point!)

IF I have another child, I will be trying for a VBAC. I delivered "normally" with my son after all, so I know that I can do it...it will all depend on how sick I get.

I also know that I won't be nearly so niave in writing my birth plan next time...I'll include what I want for a section just in case...and this time I want to know things about breastfeeding with pain meds, cosleeping, slinging post section, explaining a section to a sibling who was prepared for a regular birth and being present, etc.

...but I sincerely hope that I will have one place I can ask those questions of women who will understand WHY I would consider cosleeping, slinging, or breastfeeding, why I wouldn't be "thrilled" to escape labor and have a "clean" "easy" section, or who would understand why I would have EVER considered letting my son be present for the birth of his sibling!

No mainstream parenting board is going to have those answers. Think for a moment please of WHERE I might find a board filled with people who could understand those types of concerns - regardless of the type of birth (home, UC, hospital, surgical) - and then please explain to me again why MDC is an improper place for a surgical birth forum...

A forum is, after all, merely one central location with posts asking those very questions. I know of no other place I could ask those questions and NOT be ridiculed. Imagine how long and convoluted a single thread that covered all those topics (and more) would be...(or simply go SEE the csection support thread ugh)

...Then maybe you can find some compassion for those moms who have lost their dream births and are now faced with finding a way to salvage what they can from a surgical birth.

Angela - wife to my gamer hubby and SAHM to Handsome autismribbon.gif 3/6/03 (~35wks), Princess 8/9/06: (33wks) - we are HELLP survivors, Bubbalicious 9/15/09 (FULL TERM!), and pos.gif oops...here we go AGAIN! (June/July 2012?)

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#167 of 172 Old 04-10-2007, 09:47 PM
 
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This is a very thoughtful discussion and I don't know how I missed it the first time.

I agree that it would be beneficial to many moms to have a seperate forum for this and I support it.

So if this thread is now 4 months old...where is the C-section wisdom section? Maybe I'm blind, but I can't find it!!

Carrie, The Birthteacher CCE and Doula, real mom to five; and womb-mom to G. born at 23w by emergency C. 12/09
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#168 of 172 Old 04-11-2007, 11:21 AM
 
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There is a Natural Family Living Cesarean Resource sticky at the top of the Birth and Beyond forum...I believe this was the result of this particular thread/conversation.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=401645

It contains books, birth plans, websites, personal stories, etc that may be of use to mamas who had or who need to have surgical births.

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#169 of 172 Old 04-11-2007, 12:31 PM
 
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It could happen....but then, I'm an optimist!

I know a lot of the concern was based on the idea that c/s support is available elsewhere online and that a c/s subforum would attrack either the "wrong" people to the boards, or attract negative posts by mdc mamas. (not saying I agree, but I think those were the big concerns on the part of the moderators).

But I think the subforum for selective/delayed vax might be seen in a similar light? I don't know how long it took before that subforum was realized, but if mdc can host a discussion area for natural living mamas who have choosen to vax (for whatever reason and in whatever manner) then there is a chance that mdc will could also provide a place for natural living mamas who are facing a planned surgical birth or who have had a c/s (and need support) but who are not planning further pregnancies (so not really included in the VBAC forum).

So you never know...

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#170 of 172 Old 04-11-2007, 02:36 PM
 
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I just wanted to add my two cents here. I think it would be a very beneficial thing to have a C-section forum because women who have been through this have way different issues, both emotionally and physically. This time around, I am going to be prepared in case I end up with another C. I am currently researching homeopathic pain relief because there is no way I am going to pop Percoset this time around (I had no idea that was what I was given, btw). It would be nice to have a place to discuss this. I also think it is wise for any woman to be prepared in case her birth does not turn out as planned. Mine didn't and I didn't really think about all the issues surrounding it. It is important to provide information to women to make them empowered in all situations, but maybe especially in a surgical birth. It makes me sad to see the rude comments in other forums where women jump to the conclusion that the mom chose the c-section. I would think almost any woman on these boards was forced into the situation in some way (by circumstances or unsupportive caregivers). Also, think of all the things a forum like that could address specifically related to c-sections: pain relief, breastfeeding, caring for another child while recovering, exercise, nutrition, cosleeping, etc. Not all of us are lucky enough to have experienced an empowering waterbirth with our families joyfully welcoming our little one in song. Some of us laid on a cold hard table surrounded by tons of people we didn't know under blaring UV lights. When we saw our babies for the first time, we could only look and give a quick kiss before they were whisked away. Let's help each other fix this problem.
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#171 of 172 Old 04-11-2007, 03:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by erinwestpoet View Post
Not all of us are lucky enough to have experienced an empowering waterbirth with our families joyfully welcoming our little one in song. Some of us laid on a cold hard table surrounded by tons of people we didn't know under blaring UV lights. When we saw our babies for the first time, we could only look and give a quick kiss before they were whisked away. Let's help each other fix this problem.
:


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#172 of 172 Old 04-11-2007, 03:52 PM
 
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FYI: This thread has been closed for Admin review.


Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
There is a Natural Family Living Cesarean Resource sticky at the top of the Birth and Beyond forum...I believe this was the result of this particular thread/conversation.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=401645

It contains books, birth plans, websites, personal stories, etc that may be of use to mamas who had or who need to have surgical births.
The requested info is there.


Forgot to add that there is a chat/tribe thread in Personal Growth you can check out: c-sec mommas-- growth & healing chat thread.

Wife of 1. Mom of 3. Conquering disability challenges, one achievement at a time.
 

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