Too old for this forum, too young for preteens? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 11:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel lost!

My DD is seven, and I find that most or many of the threads here are about kids between the ages of 3 and 6, and the "preteen" forum is mostly 10 and up.

I actually dislike all the "preteen/tween" labels - I feel that they were created by marketing executives. Plus I think it sort of invalidates the child's actual stage of life, implying that they're just somehow waiting to be a teenager. I think this is a great stage, at least for my daughter - she's happy, energetic, enthusiastic, loves to learn and play, and is just plain fun to hang out with!

Anyway, maybe there should be a forum for "early elementary-age" children? Of course, not all kids attend school - hmmm, what on earth could it be called???
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#2 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 01:42 PM
 
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My ds is 7 and I don't even read the preteen forum. There does seem to be an overlap between this forum and the older and younger age forums.

Maybe the toddler forum would be better labeled the toddler/preschool forum, encompassing up to age 4 or 5. Then have the childhood forum be for ages 5-preteen.

It's hard. Some issues are difficult to label by age. I post in this forum for ds, unless it's school related. I've noticed most of the posts in the school forum are for elementary age kids. That probably pulls a lot of posts out of here.

It is a great age! I wouldn't know what to call it other than childhood. Pre-pubescent, maybe? But even then, kids hit puberty all over the map. I don't know. I guess I'm at a loss, too.
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#3 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 01:50 PM
 
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I know how you feel. My ds will be 8 in just 13 more days, as he will tell anyone who will listen.

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#4 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 01:57 PM
 
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This is an interesting topic.

I think that the original division of ages was based on the demographics of the site. Their are TONS of moms with infants, then a lot with toddlers, some with young children and very few with older kids. To make the traffic at each board relatively equal (and you'll notice that its not--- even having the "teen" forum be 9-18 it still gets way less traffic than the infant/toddler/child forums) they divided them unequally.

How I deal with that is I post based on where I think I will get the best answers to that specfic question. If I'm concerned about kinder readiness (well, really I'd put that in Education) I'd put in in the Childhood Years, but if I had a question about peer pressure I would be more apt to put that in Teens.

I, personally, don't think that toddlers and preschoolers should be lumped together becasue 1) that woudl be a rather overwhelming size group and 2) the concerns of a 15 month old and that of a 5 year old are so radically different. If you would really like a new division, the best suggestion I would have would be to go to Q&S (or is it Q&A) and ask Cynthia if she would reconsider:
Infant
Toddler
Young Children
Slightly Olders
Teens

Or something like that.

 

 

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#5 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 02:34 PM
 
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I have a soon to be 10 yr old and a 19 mo old.
I seam to get myself in torrible in toddlers, I just dont see things the same as the rest do, and most are much younger then myself. Having been through these ages already with my STB 10 yr old, I find the advice and thoughts different then myself, and from my experience there its doest fly right ..lol
I dont think that going to teens is a good option for discussing my almost 10 yr old ..

I have thought about this before and have come to the conclusion that unless there was a age slipt for the forums ....IMO I think that in the teens forum you will get the best advice. MOst of the ladies that go there have teens and or grown children out in the world, so who better to get advice from.
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#6 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 05:13 PM
 
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I agree, I think that it has more to do with the demographics of the site. There simply aren't as many moms with older kids here. And, as PPs said, there are more places to post questions about older kids. I'm much more likely to post a question about my older kids in the parenting issues or homeschooling forum than I am to post a question here.

Also, I've parented longer, and I simply don't have as many questions about parenting my older children than I did about parenting my first baby.

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#7 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 05:32 PM
 
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I agree. My DD is 9 and it's diificult... I post where I think the *subject* is most appropriate. For example, posting about DD still wetting the bed = Childhood but DD asking about dating = Preteen... at least that's how I do it.
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#8 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 06:32 PM
 
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I vote for an "Older Childhood" forum!

I have wanted this for two years, since DD was eight. She's ten now, and while technically in the "Preteen" section, she is Not a preteen (most of the time), and doesn't like that word.

She still plays with dolls. And mud. She doesn't do any real pre-teen stuff, isn't developing yet. But she's a far cry from a 5 or 6 year old.

Can we bring this thead to Cynthia's attention?

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#9 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 06:36 PM
 
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here here!!
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#10 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 06:40 PM
 
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I second or third that idea......lol

I think it would be very beneficial for us moms that have the 10 yrs olds to be able to discuss there developmental issues into teenhood....
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#11 of 29 Old 03-02-2006, 09:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann-Marita
Can we bring this thead to Cynthia's attention?
You can always PM her or start a thread in Questions & Suggestions/Answers.

 

 

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#12 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 11:57 AM
 
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I agree. I just posted a request in "Questions and Suggestions" if anyone wants to respond and reinforce the request. Thanks for bringing this up!

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#13 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 12:15 PM
 
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It's not there yet. I'll go post to that thread as soon as it shows up!

We really do need this! I often see people posting stuff about 3 & 4 yr olds in the Childhood forum. That is so far removed from my 10 yr old. And the teen forum isn't right either - I'm not dealing with my child looking up porn online, or dating or any of that teen stuff.

We NEED an Older Childhood forum!

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#14 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 01:56 PM
 
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I dont see the thread ..
could you post the link for it here ...??
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#15 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 02:40 PM
 
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The Questions forum is moderated so it might be a while before it shows up there... I'll definately add in to that thread when it does.
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#16 of 29 Old 03-03-2006, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! I'll look for the thread and post in it!

I'm glad I brought up a topic that was on a lot of people's minds! I thought maybe I was the only one...
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#17 of 29 Old 03-04-2006, 11:37 AM
 
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I will move this thread to Q&S for you.
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#18 of 29 Old 03-04-2006, 10:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnrsmom
I will move this thread to Q&S for you.
That was nice, Thanks!

 

 

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#19 of 29 Old 03-06-2006, 01:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you!
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#20 of 29 Old 03-09-2006, 09:27 AM
 
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I agree! I stay out of all of those forums because it's a little frustrating. My DD is 8.916 yo and I just feel like there are the obvious differences between her and a kinder age child, but then I don't think that we can apply the same advice for an 8 year old and a 13 year old. At least I can't. It seems that maybe 7 to 11 or 12 is such a transitional age, though yes, it is still childhood.
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#21 of 29 Old 03-11-2006, 06:20 PM
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Hi everyone.

Can someone
explain to me why threads about older children cannot be accommodateed in the existing Childhood Years forum? Maybe I'm missing something. There will be differences in discussion of younger children topics and older children topics. But I don't see why they can't all be hosted in The Childhood Years comfortably. The forum is not that heavily posted to that threads will get moved off the first page very quickly.

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#22 of 29 Old 03-11-2006, 10:48 PM
 
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One thing that can be annoying is posting about a problem with an 8-10 year old and getting a bunch of responses from parents of 4-5 yos. But I don't think a separate forum is necessary for this - I think it would help to include the age of the child in the subject, if you feel the age is relevant and want to remind posters to keep the age in mind.

Some of my issues with my 8 and 11 year olds just can't be addressed with the normal gentle discipline recommendations for 4-6 yos.
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#23 of 29 Old 03-11-2006, 11:01 PM
 
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I agree with PancakeGoddess except I do believe a seperate forum would be beneficial. There are mamas who have indicated they don't even go to the Childhood forums because of this problem and their advice may be beneficial to others having a problem. It appears to me that the majority of the posts there are regarding younger children and it gets very frustrating to try and wade through them to find situations that are simlar or related to what you're going through. I've stopped going there much because I find very little that is helpful.
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#24 of 29 Old 03-12-2006, 08:49 AM
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I took a look at the most recent ten pages of threads. I found lots of threads titled to include the age group. Most of those were 3, 4, and 5 year old titles. I saw a couple of 6 yo and 7 yo titles. One 8 year old topic. And the replies I saw were all age appropriate. So perhaps PancakeGoddess makes a good point and it's worth a try.

Lets try to title threads for the age and post in a manner that directs the discussion appropriately for your needs. Post to say something like "My nine year old...........................I'd like to hear from other parents of nine year olds who might have some helpful advice to offer."

If someone posts with advice about how to handle it with a 5 year old then just ignore that. Try to not get frustrated about it. Sometimes people truly feel their advice will be of benefit to you in your situation with your nine year old so please respect that as part of the general air of discussion forum community input. Sometimes the advice is useful.

Let's give that a try. Preface your thread title and clarify in your post your age-specific advice need clearly. After doing that for awhile we can see how successful it is, or isn't, and decide from there. If you know of mamas who have indicated they do not go to the forum due to the over abundance of younger age topic threads, please point them to this post of mine and encourage them to help you all out in giving this new approach a try.

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#25 of 29 Old 03-12-2006, 09:39 AM
 
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I was going to respond saying basically the same things as the previous 2. I also no longer visit the forum.

I will try that idea and see how it goes.
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#26 of 29 Old 03-12-2006, 12:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LunaMom
My DD is seven, and I find that most or many of the threads here are about kids between the ages of 3 and 6, and the "preteen" forum is mostly 10 and up.
Hi LunaMom! My dd will be 7 this May, so I'll keep and eye out for your posts. It is an interesting age, because at times she seems so mature, and in other situations she seems very much like a little child. I think as lost as you feel, so does my dd at times. She is becoming a little bit more adult, a little bit more responsible, but deep down she is not yet ready to let go of that early childhood spirit. Her emotional transition is very special, and at times I want to be there for her almost more than I am for her little brother. Her needs used to be primarily about things, needs and wants. Now there is a lot more parenting to her spirit, it seems.
Take care!
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#27 of 29 Old 03-12-2006, 01:47 PM
 
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I have a *almost* 7 year old and I use the childhood years for that. In fact I think I'll use it until she's actually a teenager because I absolutely... really... tremendously... HATE the term preteen. They are a teen or a child. I dont want my DD growing up faster than she has to.

ETA: I get so defensive when I see that term because I instantly think of Abercrombie marketing thongs to *tweens* and *preteens*. Ewe!

Mom to Joscelyne 14, Andrew 12, and Mackenzie 10 and wife to Nate.
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#28 of 29 Old 03-13-2006, 09:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree with Amydidit - it seems as though moms of older kids don't even go to the Childhood Years forum because they grew frustrated with the lack of support from parents with similar aged children, so now posting about your six-to-ten-year-old in there feels like calling into an empty room: "Hello? Helllooooo??? Anybody there??????"

Kristine, that is so funny - I associate the word "tween" with those Abercrombie things, too!!!!
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#29 of 29 Old 03-13-2006, 10:24 PM
 
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I don't like preteen/tween if it's just an excuse to market or push older kid stuff to younger kids. However, as the mom of an 11yo, this really is a *distinct* stage - they aren't playing with toys, they're able to discuss sophisticated topicst, etc, but still - they really are not teens. So, I think it's fine to put pre-teens in with teens for the purposes of this board. My 11yo is much more likely to be doing the things that are posted there than on childhood.
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