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#61 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 11:01 AM
 
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Originally posted by flminivanmama
I wasn't accusing - I was just saying "I don't think 5 OT posts in 5 pages is a lot"
Andrea . . . I didn't feel accused at all, but actually irresponsible simply because it is my job to move OT posts, but certainly not to post them! :LOL
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#62 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 11:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by mamaduck
BTW, if Diapering gets a subfolder for general chit-chat, than GD is going to want one too. So is pregnancy, and nursing, and so is activism. Spirituality will probably argue for one too -- only actually, you'll probably get christian mommies asking for a forum, and UU mommies asking for a forum, and islamic mommies asking for one too... and so on. It sort of misses the whole point eventually, doesn't it?
Yes, it does. Very well put - thank you mamaduck.

Although this forum is very important to me and takes up a good amount of time from each set of 24 hours I walk through, I do not feel that setting up 'forum specific' chit chats would be a good idea. It would only make MDC less 'community' in the long run as why would anyone need to venture out to other forums then.

It was asked 'what' MDC was 'after' in offering a board for our readers (both off and online):

The MotheringDotCommune discussion boards serve an online community of parents and parents-to-be considering, learning, practicing, and advocating attachment parenting and natural family living. Our discussions on the boards are about the real world of mothering and are first and foremost, for support and information and Mothering invites you to read and participate in the discussions.

That is a broad description, but what I think it expresses perfectly is that we are here for support. So, if a momma comes on the board and is specifically seeking out a question regarding Vaccinations - they would not think to look in Diapering. If there is a fabulous OT thread in diapering about 'so and so's ' recent experience with a Mother's Day Out program denying their child b/c of lack of vaccinations - that mom might not ever see it and garner the support that she needs.

With a community as large as ours, it certainly could get muddled and very confusing/chaotic/non-supportive in many arenas if we did not gently remind everyone to stay on topic and post to appropriate forums.
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Originally posted by barefoot in the sand
and what even funnier is I thought heather was an arrogant biznatch who had it out for me Now I know it's just her no-nonsense way of puttin' it to ya.
:LOL biznatch, eh? :LOL Hey, I know I've referred to Kendell as 'our own' before! The voice behind the initial 'hyena' statement.
Talking to myself: Will work on candor of 'key-speak' in diapering so newbies don't think I'm a biznatch!
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#63 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 11:45 AM
 
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well.. I did try to make an effort in TAO awhile back...it was my daughters 2nd birthday & i had made a wonderfull signature that rolled thru pics of her from birth to age 2..I posted on her birthday & asked everyone to look at it.. not 1 damn person replied

if I post OT here in diapering people have replied with care

Exactly! Just like with our kids behaviors, we mamas' posting habits are learned behaviors, too. And what mamas are experiencing is: "If I post in TAO, I seem to get no replies. If I post in Diapering, I get replies." Which venue do you really think a member would choose, having had these two outcomes?

I do think it is pretty unfair to point the finger at Diapering as the problem, and label diapering mamas as 'cliquey'. As was stated by others, other forums here can feel that same way when attempts are made to post there with no reply. So it would seem to me this is a site-wide problem, not a diapering problem -- if the occasional 'off-topic' post is really a 'problem' at all.

I really believe that if members were responded to with open arms in other forums, there would be more posts in varying forums. Let's look at this thread as an example. This topic is pretty non-diaper related, but no one is clamoring for it to be moved since it is off topic, and everyone, 'regular diapering poster' or not, is discussing it carefully and logically, with the very best of intentions.

It's open discussions like this one, no matter the forum location, that open doors. Just a thought.

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#64 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 12:06 PM
 
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Wow... I have a lot of things to say here... let me sort them out.

I first came to the diapering board at MDC after ordering from Heather's store. I was new to cding and I spoke to her on the phone about my order. She mentioned the wonderful community here.

So I joined MDC and started posting in diapering and a tremendous world of support, humor, friendship and of course diapering was opened to me. I recognized certain names and enjoyed reading their posts. I learned, tried to help, and I felt at home.

So, when issues came up in my life that I wanted to share with other like-minded mamas... I posted here -- at MDC. I looked around for the right forum to post about my family issues. Then, since I wanted the diapering mamas that I had bonded with to know about my situation, I directed them over to "parents as partners". And they came! I also got replies from other mamas on the boards who had the time to browse that forum or "view new posts" or whatever. Those replies were very welcome. I didn't only want replies from cloth mamas, I wanted replies from "natural parenting"/Mothering kind of mamas. But I did want my "friends" to know about my situation. And I knew the discussion of my non-diapering issues didn't belong in diapering.

But if I had posted in another forum without mentioning it in diapering, some of my cding friends might not have know about my post. And, because other forums don't get as much traffic, my post might have gone unseen. That, I think is the heart of the problem.

** We want our diapering friends to talk with us about other issues in our lives because we've already formed a bond with them. NOT because we don't care about the opinions of non-cding mamas! But we need to do this, I think, by branching out to other forums and growing into MDC, rather than focusing inward here.

I am SURE that the MDC cd'ing mamas don't mean to be cliquey. We like to be inclusive, from what I've seen. The chit-chat forum for cd mamas that was mentioned already exists! It's TAO! Let's utilize that and meet those other mamas out there. Then there will be more activity in that forum and we won't feel ignored.

The hard part is that we don't always have time to go to so many forums. I know I hardly have time to keep up here.

Perhaps we can make an effort to look around a little bit more and embrace the larger community. I post mostly in diapering, but I now post in FYT in Washington State, where I will be moving next -- yikes -- THIS week! This has allowed me to make new friends across the entire country without having set foot in the region! What a tremendous resource MDC has been to me.

I love it here, and I want to keep branching out, little by little, until I meet you all. Then I will be THE QUEEN of MDC ha ha ha!


***********
Also, Nikki Christina, fwiw, I have also read your posts and feel as though you are a "regular" here! Like someone else said, I've also done some follow up reading about your son's condition and sort of feel I 'know'you! I guess I should be finding better ways to let you know!

xoxo pam the wordy
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#65 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 12:39 PM
 
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Originally posted by flminivanmama
Manyducks it doesn't mean we don't want your opinion or input - we certainly do! in fact the diapering community on MDC is one of the most welcoming I've ever found.
:LOL that was a pretty funny Freudian slip!

Back on topic, I don't have a problem with people posting somewhat OT in diapering, as I've hung out here and see a lot of mamas here who don't branch out other places, so I can understand how people want to post to where they feel most familiar.

But one of the thoughts I wanted to throw out is, doesn't that then become a self-fulfilling prophecy? I.e., diapering mamas post OT in diapering, it becomes a bigger place and more like an independent community on its own, so therefore more people post OT, etc. and the cycle continues. Am I making sense to anyone but myself?

Speaking as someone who dabbles all over the board, I love it when I see diapering mamas venturing out into the rest of MDC! And vice-versa. I remember when I started seeing Heather post in Life With a Babe and other places - it was almost shocking! But great to see her out there.

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#66 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 12:51 PM
 
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oops
sorry mamaduck

I'm Andrea - I have three boys - 12 year old twins & an 11 year old

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#67 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 12:57 PM
 
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I'm not sure if anyone's going to read this since it's like post# 65 or something on this thread . ..

But I'm guilty of OT posts once in a great while. And I did put OT in the thread, but this is my home on MDC. I wanted to share my wee one's U/S photos since most people here know we were ttcing for a long time and I was relieved and happy with the photos. If I had posted them to one of the other areas of MDC most here would have missed it.

Maybe members sould be allowed one OT post here a month or something. Or maybe a separate forum for OT posts up above??

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#68 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 01:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by HeatherSanders


Although this forum is very important to me and takes up a good amount of time from each set of 24 hours I walk through, I do not feel that setting up 'forum specific' chit chats would be a good idea. It would only make MDC less 'community' in the long run as why would anyone need to venture out to other forums then.
Okay, while I understand your point - and agree to some degree - the diapering forum is in a whole other league. I have never found an online community where I felt accepted - never felt like "one of the girls" - ever - until now. I LOVE these mamas. I have found so many friends and confidants here...and I can't imagine sharing my life's trials, tribulations, and successes with anyone else. They aren't all in TAO or wherever is appropriate - many don't post elsewhere. It seems to me that the "regulars" seem to have no problems with the way the board is going - and the people we never see post are the ones getting upset. Like aforementioned, if you want to see a specific topic, search it.

To reinforse my point about diapering being in its own league:
Finding your Tribe has 23,000 posts
TAO has 33,000
Most others have less than 10,000

Diapering has over 105,000!!

Logically, IMO, that says that our group needs to be divided - that a subforum is warranted. We have almost ten times the other forums' posts...I think it would be well-served to have a diaper chit chat subforum based on the statistics. No other forum moves so quickly and would warrant a separate sub-forum. People who don't post in Diapering probably wouldn't even care if we got a sub - they likely wouldn't even know.

But, as it stands, so many of us come here not just to talk diapers - although we try to stay on topic - but because we have fostered friendships with like-minded mamas...because THIS is our tribe.
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#69 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 01:25 PM
 
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I think that, to save the mods grief...we should be responsible for making our posts in appropriate forums. BUT sometimes those waters are muddy...like the poster who started out hanging her dipes and ended up breaking into her house. Aside from the initial reason for being outside...the thread really wasnt about diapering. (I am not saying I'd move it, just so you alll know )

Diapering threads that degenerate into non-cloth diaper OT talk can be steered back on track but really shouldn't be moved, imho. Blatant OT's, like your ultrasound post, Darshani, should be placed in the PG forums; but you are absolutely right. I don't go into pg or ttc so i would have totally missed it. A link to your post there FROM here would have sent me to the Pg forum and your post . And I did peek at your wee blob, sorry I didn't respond. The board was slow for me and i didn't have time to post.

As I stated before, I'll make my post in for example "dentistry" and then come post here that I need some help, and provide a link. nobody really responds here, and the thread quickly moves off the page. I also get to benefit from the Tribe in that forum who has dental experience and a reason to be hangin' there, kwim?

And I have always wondered; i do see the relevance of cloth pads to diapering; and by association the keeper and diva cup et al; but how OT are threads about the keeper and periods? really. It's a tough call. Because the dipes and pads are so closely wound up in the same currents, we lump them together here. I wonder how many mamas never ever knew all the great mama cloth brands because they would never ina million years thing to look in a diapering forum?

another two cents. Geez this is getting expensive.
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#70 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 01:53 PM
 
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pamelamama, that was a great post.

if you think discussion boards are like high school, it's because you make them like that.

I have had more than one thread NEVER RESPONDED TO in the almost two years I have been here. Oh, well, stuff happens, they each got a lot of views.

when you seclude yourself to one forum, when you say "I'll leave if the senior members go away and form their own board" that is your choice, but don't complain about the consequences.

I'm so glad you ladies found eachother, close bonds like that online are irreplacable, I have many myself. BUT when you start trying to make a public discussion forum your own personal social hall, the rest of us have the right to be a little ticked off.

We're not that bad, really, come on out and play

And NIkkiChristina, I saw your thread and your pics. I generally don't respond to threads like that, or sign guest books. I'm sorry, don't take it personally.

edited b/c sometimes I have a potty mouth
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#71 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 02:05 PM
 
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Maybe from now on I'll post OT stuff in my sig line, like "see our new u/s photo" and a link to my website. I think that would be better, and then it would be advertised all over the place where ever I post and get more exposure. :-)

Not sure if you could do that with other OT posts though, like about someone's dh's job situation, etc. Maybe put in the sig a link to the forum that you posted that on.

Hmm. . . we'll figure this out, but like everyone else I do consider this my home on MDC and a lot of times you learn about people just by them posting about diapering things when it stays on topic. Like cute stories, things their grandma said about diapers, etc.

Darshani

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#72 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 02:07 PM
 
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Darshani, I miss you over in TAO, I was wondering what happened to you, now I see that you've been sucked into the vortex known as Diapering LMAO!

edited b/c I can't spell "vortex" :
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#73 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 02:13 PM
 
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One thing I like about diapering is that it is not a clique- if anything, there is a kind, supportive atmosphere here. I am confused about why this board is bothering the OP and some of the posters so much.

I post in childhood years and toddlers, healthy home, vaccinations, diigin in the earth, good eating as well as extended breastfeeding- there are many fewer posts. Diapering is a vibrant and active community- and people seem to like it or there wouldn't be so many posts!!!!!

Perhaps this thread is getting OT and needs to go to TAO?

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#74 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 02:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by sunmountain
BUT when you start trying to make a public discussion forum your own personal social hall, the rest of us have the right to be a little ticked off.
:

I honestly don't see this forum this way, and I don't see why people would be beginning to get angry about post locations of all things. IMHO, getting angry about where someone posts something is also making this pretty highschoolish. I'm not trying to borrow trouble, but I truly don't understand the high level of emotion stemming from what forum a post happened to be placed in. But then, I'm in the group that only noticed a few OT threads here in diapering over the past several pages, and some of those WERE moved to another forum. I guess I need clarification from those who are upset on just what constitutes "so many threads from Diapering that have NOTHING to do with diapers". 5 threads? 10? 20??? Because I really only saw about 5, 3 of which were moved, so that leaves 2. :

Edited to add: I'm one of those who lives by the Sesame Street motto of "Asking questions is the best way to find things out!" So I am truly just asking to learn and understand here, not stir up anything. I thought I should stick this in here, because I don't want my questions to seem picky. I really just wanna understand!


I post here in Diapering when I have time, when I feel I have something diaperish to add. I do read, lurk, and learn in other forums here at MDC, but don't post much because I simply don't have the time. I usually spend my time absorbing others' knowledge and wise thoughts. I really like the idea of putting links to new pictures or big news in our sig lines, though. Great idea!

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#75 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 02:25 PM
 
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Jess/Mommykins . . .ITA with your whole post!

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#76 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 02:35 PM
 
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I honestly don't see this forum this way, and I don't see why people would be beginning to get angry about post locations of all things. IMHO, getting angry about where someone posts something is also making this pretty highschoolish.
no, you don't see it this way but some of us do.

It's highschoolish to whine that "no one I like will see my post" it's not highschoolish to complain that certain posters are breaking the rules by consistantly posting OT in a certain forum.
By their own choice they are separating themselves from the rest of the community and then when someone calls them on it, they get all defensive with "well they are the only members who "really" understand me".

give me a break.:
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#77 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 02:47 PM
 
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Like I said, I post about diapering in diapering. But if people want other members who may post OT stuff here to branch out and post in other areas so they can get to know them and talk with them, are stinging posts REALLY the best way to go about encouraging them to go and share there?

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#78 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 03:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by mamaduck
Can I just say, that I don't think it is only a matter of annoyance. SO many times I have gone through the most recent new posts, spotted interesting topics, read them, and wanted to jump in -- only to realize the WHOOPS, this is an off-topic post in diapering, and since I'm not a CDing mama, and these posts are CLEARLY not open to me, but only the select group of mamas who have gotten to know each other here -- and then well, I feel out in the cold.

If you put your posts in the appropriate forums, then I will feel welcome to respond to them and to get to know you all. The feeling I get though, is that you are not too interested in my responses, or in getting to know me.
I think this is sad and I don't understand why you would feel this way. I don't care if a mama is diapering a child or not, I like hearing everyones experiences/opinions about every topic. I am baffled by your response. As I am sad because I would love to hear what you have to say, why would I care if you have a kid in diapers or not????
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#79 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 03:07 PM
 
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Just a reminder of what is not permitted in any of the MDC forums. This is a discussion forum, not a battlefield ladies. It isn't 'x' against 'y' mommas - we are all MDC mommas. Remember to support and each other in spite of disagreements.

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1- Posting in a disrespectful, defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic or otherwise improper manner, toward a member or other individual, including casting of suspicion upon a person, invasion of privacy, humiliation, demeaning criticism, namecalling, personal attack, or in any way which violates the law.
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#80 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 03:21 PM
 
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I'm a little confused by the OP. I haven't really seen that many OT posts, and the ones I have seen have been moved, for the most part. I do try to post on other forums here, and have posted in a few of them. But, diapering is my favorite and where I prefer to post. I just don't have time to go through all the forums here and post to them, so I choose to post to the ones I relate to most; diapering and vaccinations.

I love this board and its camaraderie and I feel that it is a very welcoming to board.
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#81 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 03:59 PM
 
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i don't understand why people say they don't have time to put their posts in the appropriate forum. a post takes the same amount of time no matter where you put it. all you have to do is click on the jump forums button, select the correct forum for your issue, and post away. then you can come right back to diapering.
why make more work for the mods?
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#82 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 04:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by sunmountain

if you think discussion boards are like high school, it's because you make them like that.
In my distant memories of high school, what made it distinctive was people worrying/commenting/complaining about other people's harmless behavior, typically arising out of issues of control and power.

In my grown up world, people have less time to comment and complain about other people's behavior, and tend to spend their energies building up and investing in what brings them joy and satisfaction and connection with others.

I'll leave it to others to judge whose responses in this thread really reflect high school.

Quote:
Originally posted by sunmountain
I'm so glad you ladies found eachother, close bonds like that online are irreplacable, I have many myself. BUT when you start trying to make a public discussion forum your own personal social hall, the rest of us have the right to be a little ticked off.

We're not that bad, really, come on out and play

I don't see any evidence of "personal social hall" here that is distinguishable from any other forum on MDC or any online place, really. And if your posting style here is representative of yours more generally or of those wherever you are, I don't really find that an appealing place to be. YMMV and all that.

Karla
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#83 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 04:10 PM
 
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Elphaba - If I understand correctly, it's not so much a matter of the time as the viewing levels...some of the posters here *only* post in the diapering forum - so when they have something going on in their life, they migrate toward the comfort zone they are acclaimated to. It would be difficult to post something personal in a forum where you are a "stranger" and not get a comforting reply - I've had it happen to me, personally, and it was strange and cold. There are "regulars" on every forum and I think most of the regulars here stay pretty much here.

Edited to add: well said, Karla.
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#84 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 04:11 PM
 
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I'm gonna stretch a little. Make a better effort. I was up till 5 this morning.

I breezed through all seven pages of tribes, and found one that I might fit into. We'll see. I'm hopeful.

I spent a good 15 minutes wondering if a potty training question belonged in the toddlers forum even though I don't consider DS a toddler (he's 3). Or does it belong in diapering because my question is mostly about training undies. :

I also looked through the first page in the parenting issues forum. Got through only about the first five threads. I saw some familiar names, though, and that was comforting.

I'm making a break for it, ladies. Look for me on the outside.

(Of course, I'll still be here mostly because I can't seem to think of much that doesn't have to do with diapers these days. : )
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#85 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 04:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Elphaba
i don't understand why people say they don't have time to put their posts in the appropriate forum. a post takes the same amount of time no matter where you put it. all you have to do is click on the jump forums button, select the correct forum for your issue, and post away. then you can come right back to diapering.
why make more work for the mods?
I don't think it 's that people don't have time to put their posts in the other forums. It's that people don't have time to become "regulars" in the other forums so they stick to diapering. Does that clarify?

xo
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#86 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 04:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Elphaba
i don't understand why people say they don't have time to put their posts in the appropriate forum. a post takes the same amount of time no matter where you put it. all you have to do is click on the jump forums button, select the correct forum for your issue, and post away. then you can come right back to diapering.
why make more work for the mods?
Just wanted to clarify my point here. It's not that I don't have time to put my post in the appropriate forum (not that I post off-topic anyway) but that I don't intend to become an active member of those forums.

To ask a bunch of forum regulars to care about my concerns and my life, then disappear for weeks or months until the next time I have something to say... well that just doesn't seem polite to me.

The idea that non-diapering people can't respond here is about the same as diapering people not wanting to cross these barriers and post outside of diapering. I understand that others who don't regularly post in Diapering might not want to post here on a single post. I think many people in Diapering feel the same way about crossing lines and posting in TAO or other forums for a single post.

Diapering gets a ton more posts, so the volume itself dictates that this forum will have many more off-topic posts than others. I think if you added up the number this forum might actually have a higher ratio of on-topic to off-topic posts than other forums, though.
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#87 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 04:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Elphaba
i don't understand why people say they don't have time to put their posts in the appropriate forum. a post takes the same amount of time no matter where you put it. all you have to do is click on the jump forums button, select the correct forum for your issue, and post away. then you can come right back to diapering.
why make more work for the mods?
That isn't what I meant at all by not having time. I only meant that I choose to only post in 2 forums on MDC instead of all the others because I don't have the time to post in all of them. I don't post OT in diapering; I just don't post in other forums.
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#88 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 04:36 PM
 
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Originally posted by AndreaBash


To ask a bunch of forum regulars to care about my concerns and my life, then disappear for weeks or months until the next time I have something to say... well that just doesn't seem polite to me.

I TOTALLY AGREE! I do not feel comfortable going over to nightwaking, for example, to whine about DS's sleeping problems and get advice (as I desperately need) because I just don't want to really "join" that board right now, as I don't have time to keep up with it. I lurk and read, but don't post. The ladies there are VERY nice and I'm sure would be helpful, but I would feel rude doing that.
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#89 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 04:47 PM
 
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to me, time is time. if you have time to post your questions in one forum, as an OT, then you have the time to put it in the appropriate forum. just asking a question in one forum doesn't commit you to being a regular participant there. i have posted fertility questions in TTC even though i am not TTC and don't even lurk there usually.
i certainly understand not wanting to check every single forum every single time you log in, but if you subscribe to your threads in forums outside diapering, then you can just check those when you get a reply and then leave.
diapering is nice little community, and i wish more diapering aficionados were out there posting on the other forums. clearly, the women who post here have a lot to say, and i think all this support and encouragement and knowledge would benefit the other forums.
i guess i am not part of the inner sanctum here or i would be upset over this issue. i don't see why it is such a hot button issue to put posts about vaxes in the vax forum, diapers in the diaper forum, postpartum issues in PPD or life with a babe, and marital strife in parents with partners. but i also don't think the occasional OT of a personal nature is hurtful to the community at large. for example, an OT on something serious like a nursing strike or an OB who is pushing for a c/s should go in the correct forum, but just saying hey y'all, here's my new ________ [dog, house, ultrasound picture, belly shot, whatever] not such a big deal as far as being exclusionary.
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#90 of 227 Old 07-05-2003, 04:57 PM
 
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I have been at MDC for almost 2 years and have never "joined" a forum. Is this how you think it works???? I had no idea ppl saw the MDC boards this way! I post my topics where I see they fit, I take the responses I get and work with them.

Are you serious that ppl stay in certain forums and never venture out??

And in case you are wondering, I have made a lot of friendships here (some I've met IRL), without having to stay in one forum while ignoring others.

I just don't get this way of thinking, I really don't:
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