Tolerance and Understanding for Special Needs Parenting Please - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-05-2007, 11:38 PM
 
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???

Wife of 1. Mom of 3. Conquering disability challenges, one achievement at a time.
 

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Old 12-05-2007, 11:40 PM
 
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sigh...
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:41 PM
 
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???
its just that posts over there are getting locked ad moved and posts getting deleted... its really upsetting.
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by momwifenurse View Post
so thats a no then?

hmm. alrighty.

kind of reminds me of "why would someone who doesnt like kids, be a teacher"

if they dont know what some of the moms are going through, how can they judge?

... just wondering.
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Originally Posted by Kodama View Post
I will do my best to remember the UA when posting. I promise.

Is it possible for you to at the very least consider appointing a moderator who is a parent of a special needs child or has special needs themselves? They would have a perspective and a point of view that would be very valuable. Our kids aren't the average AP/NFP kids. It would really make the other parents feel good to have someone there who is "one of us" in a sense. It is hard to put into words.

I wish people here could understand and respect the pain involved in not being able to do AP and NFP like you had hoped and dreamed about when you were pregnant. I wish people could understand and know how it feels to grieve over not getting the chance to even try. I wish people here could be just a little bit tolerant towards us and be thankful for what they have.

I am NOT attacking the moderators. Please do not think I am or misunderstand what I am saying! I think they are doing a great job. Considering how huge this place is and the amount of traffic it gets, it boggles my mind. I highly respect all of you!

In fear of putting my foot in my mouth further or violating the UA, I will be quiet now. Again, I am sorry for offending anyone.
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Originally Posted by FancyD View Post
I would also prefer a SN parent as a mod, but who has the time?:

That's not a rhetorical question! If any of us has the time to moderate the board, then I'm all for it.
Moderators are not here to be teachers or experts. Moderators are members who volunteer their time because they care about Mothering. They oversee their forums to make sure members are upholding our user agreement and forum guidelines.

Most moderators are moderating forums that they have a sincere interest in.
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:45 PM
 
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Ah.

I know emotions are running high, but let's keep talking through it (gently, if possible). I think we can figure something out.

Wife of 1. Mom of 3. Conquering disability challenges, one achievement at a time.
 

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Old 12-05-2007, 11:46 PM
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I posted a thread because I had a crappy moment - fight with DH, both kids tantruming, and I had bad cramps. It got locked, no question to me about what it was about, nothing. I can't even post a clarification. It went in SN because it was my kids that just pushed me over teh edge at that moment.

It was cryptic, because I dont' feel comfortable posting details right now.

I agree it's out of hand.

Maura
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jacque Savageau View Post
Moderators are not here to be teachers or experts. Moderators are members who volunteer their time because they care about Mothering. They oversee their forums to make sure members are upholding our user agreement and forum guidelines.

Most moderators are moderating forums that they have a sincere interest in.
i understand about caring about mothering... but what about mothers feelings?

ok im going to go eat now. Ill return when im done.
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:49 PM
 
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Ah.

I know emotions are running high, but let's keep talking through it (gently, if possible). I think we can figure something out.
I can't, I keep breaking the rules. Apparently a hidde talent I didn't fully realize until tonight

PS - this is not snark against the mods, just my own twisted sense of humor. Please see that!
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This whole discussion has turned into a monster and not how I intended it to.

I doubt the point I was trying to make initially was understood.

I deeply apologize to all who have been hurt by this.
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kodama View Post
This whole discussion has turned into a monster and not how I intended it to.

I doubt the point I was trying to make initially was understood.

I deeply apologize to all who have been hurt by this.
dont feel bad, some things needed to be said.
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:15 AM
 
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did the title of the thread change, or have the kids finally melted the last bit of brain I had left?
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:16 AM
 
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Kodama, can you try to briefly restate what you were saying for those of us who don't get enough sleep or coffee....

I am really confused. I feel like I'm missing something. Maybe someone can fill me in over PM. I'd like to help if I can.

While we would need to type a smilie in, it would be shorthand.

I have personally experienced the "you're not doing it right" "you are creating a danger for your child by xyz" as well as being hurt by threads of people who just don't understand.

I'm not really sure what to do with my personal upset, whether the comments are directed at me or not. I wish I had a way to share them w/o being censored. I'm not sure what to do with them all frankly. I often have to remind myself that people just don't understand. But it really doesn't take away the pain of it. And frankly, I'm not sure how to share that and remain within the UA.
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by peekyboo View Post
did the title of the thread change, or have the kids finally melted the last bit of brain I had left?
I also thought it was different.

I like the new title. And I would like it as a siggie or a smilie.
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:20 AM
 
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The title was changed, and it would be super rad to have a smilie
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mamaverdi View Post
Kodama, can you try to briefly restate what you were saying for those of us who don't get enough sleep or coffee....
yes



Being a parent of a special needs child means that we have to make choices and do things that may not go along 100% with the perfect AP/NFP lifestyle. Those choices were made with a lot of research, tears, and consideration. Please respect that. We are doing the best we can and like everyone else who subscribes to the AP/NFP philosophy, we want our children to grow up to be happy, healthy, successful adults. I wish people would realize and respect that before jumping in to chastise us for not doing things that are 100% AP/NFP.

All I meant to ask for was for a bit of respect and understanding and for any way to help prevent the random well intentioned but hurtful comments that sometimes pop up from time to time from random passersby.

I edited the title.

And again, I am sorry for all the hurt feelings that have come up from all of this mess.
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:27 AM
 
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Kodama - I like the new title. That is what we're looking for. And you have no reason to apologize, at least not to me - you have not caused me any hurt at all.
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Old 12-06-2007, 12:31 AM
 
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Okay, see that point is so second nature to me, that I felt I was missing something.

I totally agree. I remember being lectured about my son's seizure medication. About what I was feeding my other son. About about about.

I think it's totally within reason to report AND not respond to posters who post such things. Or to just type the line "tolerance and understanding for SN Parenting Please" AND report.

I don't know that there is any way to actually KEEP people from sticking there noses in. There is a mechanism to get them to stop: report them.
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Old 12-06-2007, 01:14 AM
 
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I'm going to go ahead and close this thread now. I moved it to Q&S because it seemed like members wanted to discuss forum guidelines, which I was more than happy to do. But we do not allow threads to discuss members, moderators or administrators actions and that seems to be what's happening here. The following is from our User Agreement;

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7. Do not post to debate or challenge the MDC User Agreement, the moderators, administrators, or their actions. Constructive criticism and questions for purposes of clarification are best addressed directly to the moderator or administrator by private message or personal e-mail. If this is not successful, see Recourse.
8. Do not start a thread to discuss member behavior or statements of members made in other threads or to criticize another discussion on the boards. Do not post to a thread to take direct issue with a member. If you feel a member has posted or behaved inappropriately in a discussion, communicate directly with the member, moderator or administrator privately and refrain from potentially defaming discussion in a thread.
If someone would like to start a thread to discuss forum guidelines or PM me with their suggestions, they are welcome to do so.

Thank you all for you your understanding.

Gently,

Jacque
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