Birth Trauma Smilie - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 38 Old 10-29-2008, 12:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wondering if we could work on getting a birth trauma icon for us mamas trying to heal and trying to inform.

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#2 of 38 Old 10-29-2008, 05:24 PM
 
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A lot of smilies that are added are created by members.

Do you have any ideas on a Birth Trauma smilie? How could that be represented?



A free image editing program is GIMP2 in case anyone got ambitious.

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#3 of 38 Old 10-29-2008, 06:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So we can just submit whatever? That's awesome! I will get to brainstorming and asking around. Thanks much!

(OT- DH wanted to name our boy Ezra... but we never did have one Great name!)

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#4 of 38 Old 10-29-2008, 09:48 PM
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Is this supposed to be taken seriously? A TRAUMA smiley? Isn't that kind of minimizing something rather, well, traumatizing? It seems rather dismissive, not to mention something potentially hurtful.
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#5 of 38 Old 10-29-2008, 11:17 PM
 
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A smilie is any of the little pictures you can insert. For instance, and : are still called smilies.

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#6 of 38 Old 10-29-2008, 11:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by llamalluv View Post
Is this supposed to be taken seriously? A TRAUMA smiley? Isn't that kind of minimizing something rather, well, traumatizing? It seems rather dismissive, not to mention something potentially hurtful.
Why do you feel that way? Did she say she was going to make a crying vagina smilie or something?



We have emoticons that involve serious subjects. They can be done tastefully.

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#7 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 10:06 AM
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Originally Posted by abimommy View Post
Why do you feel that way? Did she say she was going to make a crying vagina smilie or something?



We have emoticons that involve serious subjects. They can be done tastefully.
Well, a smiley, in my opinion, is something posted to add a light hearted touch or humor to a post. I don't think trauma should be treated so cavalierly.
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#8 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by notyetamommy View Post
A smilie is any of the little pictures you can insert. For instance, and : are still called smilies.
No. Not all of the pics you can insert are "smileys". The smileys are the ones with faces - like all the ones over to the left. There are other symbols that are not smileys.
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#9 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 10:33 AM
 
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Maybe a ribbon would be more appropriate. I can't really think how a smilie could really portray birth trauma.

ETA - I like the name Ezra too! It was on our list of boy names, but it doesn't look like we are going to get to use any of them.

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#10 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by llamalluv View Post
Well, a smiley, in my opinion, is something posted to add a light hearted touch or humor to a post. I don't think trauma should be treated so cavalierly.

I do not believe there is any indicator that there was such intentions.


Smilie is just a word indicating an image, it doesn't have to be lighthearted. We have images for losses, they don't seem cavalier to me.

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#11 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 11:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by magstphil View Post

(OT- DH wanted to name our boy Ezra... but we never did have one Great name!)
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Originally Posted by felix23 View Post
ETA - I like the name Ezra too! It was on our list of boy names, but it doesn't look like we are going to get to use any of them.


My boy has curly hair and our last name is Smith. We had to pick something a little bit interesting.

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#12 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 11:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by llamalluv View Post
No. Not all of the pics you can insert are "smileys". The smileys are the ones with faces - like all the ones over to the left. There are other symbols that are not smileys.
No they aren't. Smileys are simply the little images you see in posts. They can be faces but they can also be the ribbons or the little houses etc.

I'm sorry you took such offense but trust me I am not treating my trauma or anyone else's lightly, thanks.

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#13 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 01:05 PM
 
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As someone who suffered PTSD after her c-section I also find the idea of a birth trauma smilie sort of garrish and triggering. How would you represent that? Lots of images come to mind and they aren't very nice.
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#14 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 01:34 PM
 
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I would appreciate one. I don't see it as any different than the red ribbons and such in other signatures.

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#15 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 01:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by turtlewomyn View Post
As someone who suffered PTSD after her c-section I also find the idea of a birth trauma smilie sort of garrish and triggering. How would you represent that? Lots of images come to mind and they aren't very nice.
We are brainstorming over in the Healing Birth Trauma board (the "HBAT tribe" thread) but we are thinking along the lines of something more healing then violent, of course.

Come on over and see what we have so far and share your ideas.

ETA- to clarify for everyone the women who are brainstorming this also suffer from PTSD and other trauma related illnesses in regards to our births. We aren't going to do anything gruesome or garish. The smilie is to get the word out that birth trauma is very real and needs to be addressed in society and also to validate what we traumatized mother's have gone through and are going through.

Quote:
I don't see it as any different than the red ribbons and such in other signatures.

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#16 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 08:09 PM
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Originally Posted by turtlewomyn View Post
As someone who suffered PTSD after her c-section I also find the idea of a birth trauma smilie sort of garrish and triggering. How would you represent that? Lots of images come to mind and they aren't very nice.
Exactly. Smileys are intended to be funny or irreverent or cute. I just can't reconcile the concept of a smiley with PTSD or and unwanted abdominal surgery or the death of a child or anything else that can go horribly wrong in a birth experience.

I mean, why not have a happy little murder smiley? Or a silly little rape smiley?

Ugh.
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#17 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 08:13 PM
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Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
No they aren't. Smileys are simply the little images you see in posts. They can be faces but they can also be the ribbons or the little houses etc.

I'm sorry you took such offense but trust me I am not treating my trauma or anyone else's lightly, thanks.
Maybe I make a distinction that you don't, but I consider SMILEYS to be faces and the other non-face things to be ICONS. So again, the idea of a trauma smiley is just too disrespectful for me.
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#18 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 08:20 PM
 
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I think a semantics issue is creating some totally unnecessary contention.

While wiki describes "smileys" as faces they do not limit that label to only faces that are actually smiling. And I've seen many people on MDC use the term "smiley" to describe any of the little images and emoticons that can be added to a post.

At any rate, I think the important thing to remember is that I'm pretty sure you all agree that the icon should be tasteful whether it's called a "smiley" or not.

That's my "you're ok, we're ok, let's hug" 2 cents.
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#19 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 08:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by llamalluv View Post
Exactly. Smileys are intended to be funny or irreverent or cute. I just can't reconcile the concept of a smiley with PTSD or and unwanted abdominal surgery or the death of a child or anything else that can go horribly wrong in a birth experience.

I mean, why not have a happy little murder smiley? Or a silly little rape smiley?

Ugh.
You are using a different defination of the word than everyone else on the thread.

I am not going to just dismiss something without even looking at it.

I didn't realize you have had a traumatic birth, other people who have also had one would like to see something representing them.

I understand it is upsetting to those who have had such experiences, my births were not picnics. Perhaps since this is so upsetting for you, you would like to join discussion regarding what the image should be?

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#20 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 08:51 PM
 
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maybe if we called them emoticons?

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#21 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 08:53 PM
 
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I have had two extremely traumatic births, and I completely understand what the OP is going for - 'smilie' is a term, this is turning into a discussion about semantics.

Anyway, I'm going to check out the discussion to see what kind of symbol might be used. I would definitely add it to my signature. I like the idea about something representing healing...

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#22 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 09:05 PM
 
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I know I'm new here! but I have been reading a ton of interesting posts/topics, and am very aware that in many signatures there are "smilies" that represent traumatic experiences including loss-- which may trigger memories or emotions too.... so why not make new specific ones to represent or educate?

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#23 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 09:12 PM
 
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I have not had a traumatic 'birth' per say, but I did just m/c at 20 w. I found the broken heart "image" appropriate to add to my signature. Having assisted / witnessed traumatic births it makes sense to include some symbol(s) be it ribbon or emoticon that indicates trauma. Obviously it is nice to have the options available to us. We aparently all use the emoticons...freely.
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#24 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 09:55 PM
 
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I would like an emoticon for birth trauma. There are so many not-happy emoticons/smilies that provide a visual way to communicate pain, loss, grief, etc. Including and and and all the ribbons.

I think there is a place for the emoticon/smiley and I will try to help think of something that might work.
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#25 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 10:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for all the support offered here! I understand all to well what a hard subject this is and how triggering the smallest of things can be. For the longest time I avoided MDC because the homebirth icons denoting successful HB's sent me into hysterics. to any mamas going through this!!

So far on the other thread we have thought of using a bandaged heart or a pregnant belly in hands or a flower (the type we are still discussing).

Please share any ideas you have!

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#26 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 10:25 PM
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JMHO, but I view any birth that the result was a healthy child not indicative of a "birth trauma".

Once we reconcile that birth itself is a traumatic event, maybe we will be less judgemental of those who have c-sections and other types of birth as automatically being "traumatic".

Just my $0.02.
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#27 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 10:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
So far on the other thread we have thought of using a bandaged heart or a pregnant belly in hands or a flower (the type we are still discussing).

Please share any ideas you have!
Oh, I like the pregnant belly in hands or a flower idea; it'd be good if it said 'birth trauma' when you let the arrow rest on it, kwim?

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#28 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 10:32 PM
 
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JMHO, but I view any birth that the result was a healthy child not indicative of a "birth trauma".

Once we reconcile that birth itself is a traumatic event, maybe we will be less judgemental of those who have c-sections and other types of birth as automatically being "traumatic".
The topic of this thread isn't to debate whose birth qualifies as traumatic. No one is labeling anyone else's birth. Thanks for keeping this about the emoticon.

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#29 of 38 Old 10-30-2008, 10:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Sonya77 View Post
JMHO, but I view any birth that the result was a healthy child not indicative of a "birth trauma".

Once we reconcile that birth itself is a traumatic event, maybe we will be less judgemental of those who have c-sections and other types of birth as automatically being "traumatic".

Just my $0.02.
Please please PLEASE educate yourself on birth trauma. Please. There is a board here for it with lots of great information.

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#30 of 38 Old 10-31-2008, 02:42 AM
 
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i'll go over to the other thread to share my thoughts on specific images...but I just want to chime in with agreement that this is a good idea. My traumas were all miscarriages (once i nearly died, the otehrs were physically easy but emotionally hard) and when I finally carried to term I had a fair pile of issues to work through. I don't think my experiences are quite the same, yet they have made me passionate about talking about miscarriage--it's something that happens a LOT and is unspoken... I think traumatic births are the same--lots of women have had them and are suffering in silence. It's time to break the silence.

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