S/O: If you could have a "homebirth in the hospital," would you? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: If you could have a "homebirth in the hospital," would you?
Yes 74 23.05%
No 201 62.62%
It depends 40 12.46%
The infamous other! 6 1.87%
Voters: 321. You may not vote on this poll

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#61 of 148 Old 11-29-2008, 05:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by barefootpoetry View Post
If you could have all the great things about homebirth at your disposal in the hospital, would you birth there? Total privacy, no machinery, no strangers, no interventions pushed on you, continuous one-on-one care, a pool, a big comfy bed, allowed to do what you want, etc. etc.? Dream up the most awesome hospital birth you can think of and tell me if you would choose that over home. I will give my own answer in a bit!


I had this birth in the hospital with dd1 (well the nurse was a stranger she was it). It was a truely amazing hospital birth, but now that I've had a HB it just doesn't compare to my own space.

Mom to ds 9 dd 7 : and dd 3/08 : if I can I go to
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#62 of 148 Old 11-29-2008, 06:00 PM
 
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If I could have the perfect birth, with everything just as I wanted it by just thinking about it and not even having to say something to get it, no pressure, no audience, no "medical" atmosphere in a hospital, I would still choose a home birth every time.

I chose no. Obviously.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#63 of 148 Old 11-29-2008, 06:46 PM
 
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nope. home is where the heart is!

(although we were a homebirth transfer)
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#64 of 148 Old 11-30-2008, 12:25 AM
 
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No thank you. Why would I want to go to another "homelike place" when I can just stay in my own home and have everyone come to me?

Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
Mom to Conner (8/19/03) and Parker (5/23/09)::::
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#65 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 07:39 AM
 
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No. If I'm having a baby in hospital then I'm doing it for a reason: because I NEED that monitoring, sharp pointy knife,drip or whatever to get my baby into the world safely. I really don't see a reason to go to hospital for a normal birth- just doesn't appeal in the slightest.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#66 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 10:38 AM
 
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No, because my number one reason for wanting to be home is wanting to snuggle up in my own bed afterward, with my whole family, including my other dc's. Not having to have them sleep overnight somewhere, etc.

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#67 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 10:55 AM
 
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I chose other, because I don't think it's possible to duplicate a homebirth in a hospital.

Maybe unless you lived in a hospital, had conceived, grew and born your children there, celebrated all of life's precious moments there...

Really honestly, the lack of intervention is ONE aspect. You can do that in a freestanding birth center. Birthing at home is about so much more than that....

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

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#68 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 04:23 PM
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Honestly, my last birth (in a hospital) was about as close to a home birth as you can get and still be in a hospital. No interventions pushed at all, despite a long back labor and water breaking more than 24 hours prior, GREAT midwife, privacy for DH and me when we wanted it, no IV hookups, no continuous monitoring, great tub for laboring in, no one taking the babe away from us when she was born, etc.

But I'm still going with a HB this time because, well, it's not at HOME. I don't think there's any way a hospital birth can duplicate what I hope to get from a home birth, especially the comfort of being in my own setting, being able to have DD around for the birth, not having to travel to get there, having people come in to check on me at different times whether I wanted them to or not, etc.
I love my midwife, and had to leave her to go with a home birth, since she only delivers in hospitals, and I'm sure I could have another great, natural birth with her this time, but I still want to do it at home.
Don't get me wrong - there were some things I appreciated about being in the hospital (not having to provide my own supplies or worry about cleanup, for one, and having nurses I could call in when I nearly fainted trying to get to the bathroom from pain and loss of blood after the birth, for another), but I"m looking forward to the benefits of a home birth, which I don't think even the best hospital could provide, even more.
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#69 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 05:16 PM
 
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I'm on the "it depends" side...it depends on how much it cost and if it was covered by insurance, and it would be if a homebirth wasn't possible for some reason.

I actually had this sort of birth with my son, although it was at a freestanding birth center and not a hospital. It was absolutely wonderful. I don't know if I would do it again...I was at home for my last birth, but it does just depend on what circumstances were in my life at the time.

fambedsingle2.gifnovaxnocirc.gifHappy to be a mommy and teacher to D fencing.gif, born 1-17-06 via waterbirth.jpg  and A  blahblah.gif, born 10-6-08 with a homebirth.jpghomeschool.gif

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#70 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 05:32 PM
 
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Personally I feel like if I'm having a hospital birth, I want it to be a hospital birth. My reasoning for birthing in a hospital would be that it was medically necessary, and if it's medical necessary then I want there to be life-saving strangers and machines, etc.

I chose a homebirth at about 38 weeks because ... well because all of a sudden it just felt like something I had to do. It was winter, it was cold, I didn't have to go rushing anywhere, it was beautiful, quiet, and I was able to focus.

Not sure if I explained it properly, but I hope that I did.

Take care,
El
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#71 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 05:44 PM
 
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Yes, because I had one with my last dd. I had no iv's no monitoring besides the occasional doppler. I was able to labor in the tub for as long as I wanted. I had two midwives in attendance and my own l&d nurse. No one was checking dilation except when I first arrived and then when I told them I felt the urge to push. The only intervention I had was the midwife broke my water at 10 cm when I was pushing. I did have a belt monitor on while pushing to check baby's heart rate and her heartbeat was slowing down to nothing while I was pushing. I was not restricted to lying on my back, I could have chosen to stand on my head and they would have been ok with it. The mdwife quickly and safely yanked her out. If it had been an ob I'm sure I would have been taken for emergency c-section. I had no tearing and was able to put her on the breast immediately. I refused the hep B with no questions asked. The nurse brought me a ton of food (breakfast and lunch) and I ate with one hand while nursing with the other. It was great, and a good healing process for my soul since I had a terrible experience with the first baby. I felt like I finally got the birth I wanted.

Now, my fantasy birth would have been in a tub, outside (we lived in HI then, so it was feasible) or better yet have one of those births in the ocean I have read about. Since neither was possible I felt that I got the best out of what was available to me.

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#72 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 05:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Hey Mama! View Post
No one was checking dilation except when I first arrived and then when I told them I felt the urge to push. The only intervention I had was the midwife broke my water at 10 cm when I was pushing. I did have a belt monitor on while pushing to check baby's heart rate and her heartbeat was slowing down to nothing while I was pushing. I was not restricted to lying on my back, I could have chosen to stand on my head and they would have been ok with it. The mdwife quickly and safely yanked her out. If it had been an ob I'm sure I would have been taken for emergency c-section.
Just because my last birth had some parallels, I'm going to compare.

Ds had some decels too- no belt though- intermittent doppler.

No one checked my dilation to tell me if I could push or not.

No one broke his water. He was born entirely in the caul.

No one "yanked" ds anywhere. He was born peacefully on his own terms.

I'm glad you enjoyed your birth, but to me it illustrates why hospital birth is not the same as homebirth.

-Angela
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#73 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 06:03 PM
 
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I voted it depends. I want a homebirth for my next baby. I had a hospital birth for dd b/c my intuition was screaming at me. She was born with special needs and spent 5 days in the NICU. I really didn't have any interventions I regret or anything. It was fine for what it was and she needed not to be at home.

I would do a homebirth in the hospital if I were living with relatives, like I am now, who I can't trust not to stress me out during labor. Granted, you can always go to a hotel, but then I'd feel like I was afraid of being too loud, or wanting to walk around and not being able to, or something. Plus I think hotels are disgustingly dirty & I'd feel like I had to bring all my own sheets etc (yes, hospitals are dirty, but at least people aren't normally having sex on the same dirty sheets over and over again!). In that situation, I can imagine waiting as long as possible at home until my relatives starting getting on my nerves, and then I picture the "ideal" homebirth hospital being set up like a motel where you can just check in, or have your partner check you in, and go into your own entrance with a big, spotlessly clean, comfy room with all sorts of birth stools, swings, jacuzzi, positioners, chairs, bed etc. Dimmers on the lights and music or dvds available if that's what you want/need.

Several buttons would be available to press: a doula, a CNM, or an OB in case of emergency- and yes, an anesthesiologist if that's what you want, too. Room service also avail. You could leave whenever you wanted, 3 hours or 3 days. I can see the use of a place like that. Basically, a birth center, but with much less intervention and more of a UC setup. No IV, no cervical checks, no being on a clock, just a big birth motel where you drive up to your room and have whatever birth you want.

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#74 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 06:08 PM
 
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I voted no. Why would I go somewhere else to recreate the environment I left in the first place? I guess if I were high risk I might consider it.

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#75 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 09:29 PM
 
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Ok
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
just because my last birth had some parallels, i'm going to compare.

Ds had some decels too- no belt though- intermittent doppler.
i had a belt on for all of 20 minutes. I was ok with that.

no one checked my dilation to tell me if i could push or not.
no one did that to me either, i thought i already covered that.

no one broke his water. He was born entirely in the caul.
well, you got me there. I wish she would have been.

no one "yanked" ds anywhere. He was born peacefully on his own terms.
ok, maybe yanked was too strong a word. How about expertly guided her down? She was facing to the left and had the cord wrapped around twice. I was scared. And i don't know if i could have handled that at home, since if i did a homebirth it would have been a uc.

i'm glad you enjoyed your birth, but to me it illustrates why hospital birth is not the same as homebirth.
i swear i thought over and over again about posting on this thread because of this. Not everyone has a terrible, scary, intervention filled hospital birth. I was happy with that birth. I said that i felt like i got the best experience out of the situation. Honor my feelings please.

-angela

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#76 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 10:53 PM
 
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No.

What I would do, though, is pay for my older kids to go to a cool hotel for a couple nights after the birth with an awesome babysitter. (I had all of my kids at my homebirths, and it was great, but afterwards, I really missed the few days of it just being me and my new baby.)

And I would also hire help to take care of me and the house for a week - doing laundry, cleaning, cooking for me, bringing me food, etc. - while my husband and I babymooned. (My husband was the one who did all that, and I really wish he could have just sat down with me instead of doing everything else.)
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#77 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 10:59 PM
 
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Its still not home...

Mama to DS1 (4/04) DS2 (HBAC 11/06) DS3 (HBAC 12/08) DS4 (HBAC 1/11). Wife to one handsome hard working DH.
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#78 of 148 Old 12-01-2008, 11:03 PM
 
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I definitely would.

(My youngest had health problems when she was born and had to be taken by ambulance to a level III NICU- so that is where I'm coming from).

~e, wife to my sweet T partners.gif, mama to my turtleman (8) , sunshine (6 vbac.gif), and monkey (2)
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#79 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 12:02 AM
 
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I voted no b/c this is exactly what dd's birth was supposed to be like...except they never let me leave l&d to get to that sweet home setting b/c they noted "fluctuations" in dd's heart-rate and didn't feel "comfortable" allowing me to move to the birthing suites. I recently got my records from hospital (from dd's birth) for my midwife who will deliver this baby at HOME and found it was apparently so much of a concern to them that it warranted absolutely NO MENTION anywhere in my records:
so, no way...it might be YOUR plan to be in that cushy home-like setting...but who knows what the hospital's plan will be!!

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#80 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 01:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Hey Mama! View Post
Ok
ok, maybe yanked was too strong a word. How about expertly guided her down? She was facing to the left and had the cord wrapped around twice. I was scared. And i don't know if i could have handled that at home, since if i did a homebirth it would have been a uc.
FWIW ds' cord was around his neck 5 times....

Quote:
i swear i thought over and over again about posting on this thread because of this. Not everyone has a terrible, scary, intervention filled hospital birth. I was happy with that birth. I said that i felt like i got the best experience out of the situation. Honor my feelings please.

And as I said, I truly am glad you enjoyed your birth. It would have left *me* with a bad taste in my mouth. I honor your feelings completely- truly.

I would have been frustrated and disappointed with that birth. Honor my feelings as well.

-Angela
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#81 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 01:37 AM
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No, I like having homebirths because I'm really home. A hospital can maybe be homelike, but it will never be home.

 
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#82 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 02:10 AM
 
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I voted yes. I loved dd's homebirth, but I really missed having my Mom there. My Mom refuses to acknowledge a homebirth or honor one with her presence. If I could have a hospital birth completely my way, I would just to have my Mom there with me. My answer is total fantasy, since we aren't having another baby.
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#83 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 02:37 AM
 
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Nope, but I really, really wish all that were seen as standard maternity care even in the hospital, because it's all much safer (as the default, until problems present themselves). It should be an option, even if I still wouldn't choose it.
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#84 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 12:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by barefootpoetry View Post
Yes, but what I'm suggesting isn't freestanding. This would be within a hospital.
This was tried in the early 80's. They called them Alternative birth centers. There was basic a room or two with nice wallpaper, no drugs, a big birth tub and such. They were a great marketing tool for getting people to come to hospitals, but the percentage of women who actually birthed in them vs. who wanted to was very low. There'd be something that would "risk" the mom out and they'd have to go to the regular l&d. It was like a bait and switch.

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#85 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 12:45 PM
 
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Yes, I think I'd at least consider it- I kind of AM having that- at a birth center.

Problems I have with the center, that a homebirth would have handled:

I can't bring my dog (and I am dependent as hell on my dog- I have a lot of mental health problems and my dog is my life line) which sucks because I can't imagine a time I will need or want my dog more, or be more afraid and helpless feeling in my life. I fear dying and I want my dog with me if I die, and I want to be able to say goodbye. He's my soulmate.

I dread and fear the car ride... screaming and crying in pain... ugh, and it's a half hour drive to my center

Again the death thing- if I am going to die, I want my last moments to be non medical, since my biggest fear and biggest hate in life is needles, being touched, and medical anything. I am a SEVERE phobic.

So... I don't know... I still wish I could have a home birth- and home vs hospital doesn't ease my desperate terror that I will die. I think labor looks so horrible to me that I cannot imagine I could survive it... mentally or physically. I don't want any medical intervention, so I don't feel a hospital would help me all that much- I am so phobic, I'd have to be knocked out and have things done to me against my will to accept any type of medical care.

Yeah, I'm a freak with SERIOUS issues who should never have gotten pregnant because of those issues... so I doubt my answer would represent any one else!
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#86 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 01:02 PM
 
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This was tried in the early 80's. They called them Alternative birth centers. There was basic a room or two with nice wallpaper, no drugs, a big birth tub and such. They were a great marketing tool for getting people to come to hospitals, but the percentage of women who actually birthed in them vs. who wanted to was very low. There'd be something that would "risk" the mom out and they'd have to go to the regular l&d. It was like a bait and switch.
Our hospital only has L&D rooms- you labor and deliver in the same room. There's nice wallpaper, a tv- it's decorated. However, you do get moved after delivery, I think (which was always the annoying part for me).

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
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#87 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 01:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by UhOhWhatNow View Post
Yes, I think I'd at least consider it- I kind of AM having that- at a birth center.

Problems I have with the center, that a homebirth would have handled:

I can't bring my dog (and I am dependent as hell on my dog- I have a lot of mental health problems and my dog is my life line) which sucks because I can't imagine a time I will need or want my dog more, or be more afraid and helpless feeling in my life. I fear dying and I want my dog with me if I die, and I want to be able to say goodbye. He's my soulmate.

I dread and fear the car ride... screaming and crying in pain... ugh, and it's a half hour drive to my center

Again the death thing- if I am going to die, I want my last moments to be non medical, since my biggest fear and biggest hate in life is needles, being touched, and medical anything. I am a SEVERE phobic.

So... I don't know... I still wish I could have a home birth- and home vs hospital doesn't ease my desperate terror that I will die. I think labor looks so horrible to me that I cannot imagine I could survive it... mentally or physically. I don't want any medical intervention, so I don't feel a hospital would help me all that much- I am so phobic, I'd have to be knocked out and have things done to me against my will to accept any type of medical care.

Yeah, I'm a freak with SERIOUS issues who should never have gotten pregnant because of those issues... so I doubt my answer would represent any one else!

I'm sorry you can't take your dog. I'm sure you will do great in labor. Your body is amazing.

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
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#88 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 02:06 PM
 
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Thanks I am having a really bad day worrying about this. I'm so lonely too. I don't have anyone to talk to who even pretends to understand, and I have no friends here (in my city). My husband is the quiet type, and I can tell he doesn't want me around lately so I keep to myself as much as I can stand it. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.
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#89 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 02:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by UhOhWhatNow View Post
Thanks I am having a really bad day worrying about this. I'm so lonely too. I don't have anyone to talk to who even pretends to understand, and I have no friends here (in my city). My husband is the quiet type, and I can tell he doesn't want me around lately so I keep to myself as much as I can stand it. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.
I have some milder phobias that used to be much worse than they are. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk.
It's hard to make friends when we get to be adults for some reason.

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
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#90 of 148 Old 12-02-2008, 02:30 PM
 
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Yeah... and it's even harder since I never get out. I haven't any money for gas. I don't have anywhere to go even if I did. I don't have money to take classes at the dog training club. I was too sick with morning sickness to take college classes this semester, so I am missing that outlet. Oh, well. I'm just no fun today at all. It just gets hard sitting here in the bedroom alone all day bc I know my DH doesn't want me around, and I haven't anywhere else to go.
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