Kind of silly...None of my kids will ever know their "birth houses" - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-23-2009, 02:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We've moved around. A lot. DS1 was born at a hospital. DS2 was born in a house we rented for a year and a half from my aunt. DD was born in the house we lived previous to buying the one we're in now. We are done having kids. No babies will be born here. And for some reason, that kind of makes me sad! I suppose as long as my aunt still owns that house we lived in, we can go back someday to show Henri where he was born. We would only be able to drive by the house Fleur was born in, which is unfortunate because the room she was born in is quite beautiful, and I wish she could see it someday. I don't know, I guess as a homebirther I think this stuff has some kind of significance. What do you all think?
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Old 01-23-2009, 02:40 AM
 
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Yeah, I wish we could have had one house and had all our kids born there etc. We've moved around a lot too though so that didn't happen! We rented for ds1 and moved and now we are renting for dc2's homebirth and will move shortly after. We did actually just drive ds1 by the house he was born in and showed it to him (he's 3). We told him he was born there and he thought it was pretty cool. I still have his frozen placenta though and thought maybe if we ever settle there I will plant a tree for each kid with theirs underneath.

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Old 01-23-2009, 03:34 AM
 
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Not silly at all. I never admitted it to anyone but one of the reasons I had such a hard time moving this fall was that we would leave the house where Ian was born. It was a sudden move (landlord got a divorce and needed us out so he could live there) so I felt like I didn't get to process it. We are in a rental for now and although we could probably technically buy given the market, I can't fathom moving again before this little one is born.

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Old 01-23-2009, 03:04 PM
 
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We've moved around. A lot. DS1 was born at a hospital. DS2 was born in a house we rented for a year and a half from my aunt. DD was born in the house we lived previous to buying the one we're in now. We are done having kids. No babies will be born here. And for some reason, that kind of makes me sad! I suppose as long as my aunt still owns that house we lived in, we can go back someday to show Henri where he was born. We would only be able to drive by the house Fleur was born in, which is unfortunate because the room she was born in is quite beautiful, and I wish she could see it someday. I don't know, I guess as a homebirther I think this stuff has some kind of significance. What do you all think?
I completely agree with you....that's one reason why I am having a hard time even THINKING about moving from our house. After March 3 of my kids will have been born here ~ all in various rooms . I love being able to play in our rec room & tell my DD that this is where she was born......I know that we will have to sell & move since we will be outgrowing our space....but it's hard to even think about some days!
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Old 01-23-2009, 04:56 PM
 
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I agree. Our DS#2 was born here unplanned, and now we're planning a HB here for #3. It's a rental house but we'll have lived here for 6 years when we move and it is where all three kids were born (well, DS#1 was born at a hospital but this was where we brought him home) and our first house being married. It's sad
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Old 01-23-2009, 07:59 PM
 
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Well, the house where all of our pregnancies ended and 2 of our babies were born ended up making all of us sick, so we are no longer there. I felt silly that this is something that I was sad about, and it's nice to know I'm not alone in the feeling.

Non Practicing Midwife, going back to school! Mamma to my 3 loves, living each day to the fullest.
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Old 01-23-2009, 08:17 PM
 
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I so miss standing in the spot where my sweet gal was born.And it makes me really sad that she has no memories of that home.We lived there for 8 yrs(but moved when my daughter was 1.5) and I have so many great memories including the start of her life.I wish she knew that place.

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Old 01-23-2009, 09:24 PM
 
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I think it'd be cool to own the house where my kids were born, but unless we become homeowners in the next 5 years, that's not going to happen. One was born in hospital, and one was born in a house that was actually empty at the time - it was my midwife's former house, owned by her mom, and it was close to the hospital but no one was living in it at the time since they were renovating. But every time we drive past it, I say, "Look Jacob, there's your birth house!"
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Old 01-23-2009, 10:26 PM
 
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dd was born at my mother's house that she definitely plans on selling in a few years. This babe will be born in another country in the house we are renting. It won't even be possible to drive by!
I secretly fantasize about having my own house, and having a baby there just so we can be living permanently in one of our 'birth houses' but realistically, that's no reason to have a baby!
I guess life is about change and one has to embrace it. . . and we don't all live in farmhouses passed on through the generations with a 'borning room' where everyone is born. Though sometimes I think - "darn, but that would be cool!"

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Old 01-23-2009, 11:13 PM
 
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When we move from the house where my daughter was born, I plan to have a small brass plaque made to put up over the doorway in the atrium where she was born. It will say something like "Kathryn ________ was born here, April 5, 2006, and maybe a favorite quote too" Just something small to commemorate that time/place.
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Old 01-24-2009, 01:30 AM
 
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I've thought about that too. We own, but it's such a small townhouse we've already stayed longer than we planned what with the current conditions. I'm guessing we'll still be here when #2 arrives so, yeah, it does make me sad that neither of them will grow up in their birth house.

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Old 01-24-2009, 01:38 AM
 
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Awww...honestly .

I can understand the feelings. It does feel so special that all four of our children were born in the house we live in. I personally can't imagine leaving. Even though it seems like the house is getting smaller, or rather our family is getting larger.

Though, I think it's more for us that it is for them in a way. Because I know the different areas in the house that I've birthed I can easily remember them when I'm there. Like in our garden tub...my third was born there, and when I'm taking a bath nearly every time I think of the day I pushed him out there...

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

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Old 01-24-2009, 03:20 PM
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I can relate. My oldest dd was born at my parent's house just because I lived in a rental and I wanted her to be born somewhere with "roots"... but I was sad when later we got rid of the bed she was born on (which was also either mine or my brother's as a kid). My second was born in a rental house, but I still have the futon couch she was born on so that makes me feel better. We drive by the house occasionally and point out that's where she was born. I am excited to have this third one in a house we own, and believe it or not I still have the other two placentas frozen (one is 12 years old!!) so we're going to plant all three here together.
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Old 01-24-2009, 04:08 PM
 
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The house that DS was born in was a rental, and has since been torn down and replaced by a bunch of condos.
The house that this baby will be born in is also a rental.

I feel some comfort in having their placentas and will one day plant them somewhere that they can always visit.

Mama to ds#1 (7) and a ds#2 (1 1/2)
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Old 01-24-2009, 04:36 PM
 
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I fully understand. We are a military family and are posted every 2 years. I am sad that my LO and future ones won't know their birth houses. I am also sad that I can't have my same mw or my same support system.

I wanted to bury LO's placenta but I thought I would have a hard time leaving it when we moved. I had the mw dispose of it. It is my biggest regret about my LO's birth. I feel like I treated his first "house" like garbage. I won't do that again.
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Old 01-24-2009, 04:44 PM
 
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My three home births were all at someone else's house, which we lived at temporarily. They are family members', though, so there is still a connection. We are renting now, but I had really hoped to have a home birth here. Unfortunately, it is too far away from the midwives' area, so we will have to find an alternative birth home. I had so wanted it to be "our" house, even if we are only renting.

We were at my SIL the other day, and the kids were all asking the baby (turning 2 next month) if she remembered the room she was born in? It's their toy room now

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Old 01-25-2009, 12:13 AM
 
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I completely understand. I will live out the rest of my life in this sad, tiny, old, completely-not-my-dream-house because I can point behind where I'm sitting right now ans say "and my kids were born there and there."

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Old 01-25-2009, 05:32 PM
 
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i can relate, too, because ds1 was born in a rented house that we had hopes of buying, but the owner was foreclosed on at a really bad time for us, so we had to leave. ds2 was born in the apartment we're living in now (and hope to be out of by the end of the year!). i like that little kick of being able to point to a spot in the living room and say, "yep, he was born here." and to certain audiences, point two feet away and say, "and he was conceived *here*!"

but the perspective i try to keep is that lots of people in the world are nomads, and they take with them what they can carry. they may not be able to point to the exact spot where they were born, but they can carry with them the smell of the air and the look of the sky, you know? so most novembers, on certain days when the sky is a certain shade of blue, and it's crisp and clear and bright and not too cold, i can go outside, take a deep breath, and remember how excited i was when i felt those first twinges of contractions, and i'm sure ds1 will get *tired* of me telling him, "you know, the air smelled just like this on the day you were born." :-) which might not be as cool as pointing to a faded stain on the carpet, but i'll take what i can get.

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Old 01-25-2009, 05:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by apple_juice View Post
I wanted to bury LO's placenta but I thought I would have a hard time leaving it when we moved. I had the mw dispose of it. It is my biggest regret about my LO's birth. I feel like I treated his first "house" like garbage. I won't do that again.
Me too That's the one thing I really regret about DS's birth. DH totally doesn't get it, but it makes me really sad that I'll one day have to explain to DS why we threw away his placenta.

Loving DH geek.gif, raising DS1 learning.gif(01/08) and DS2 bfinfant.gif(10/10), caring for cat.gif x 3 .
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Old 01-25-2009, 05:48 PM
 
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but the perspective i try to keep is that lots of people in the world are nomads, and they take with them what they can carry. they may not be able to point to the exact spot where they were born, but they can carry with them the smell of the air and the look of the sky, you know? so most novembers, on certain days when the sky is a certain shade of blue, and it's crisp and clear and bright and not too cold, i can go outside, take a deep breath, and remember how excited i was when i felt those first twinges of contractions, and i'm sure ds1 will get *tired* of me telling him, "you know, the air smelled just like this on the day you were born." :-) which might not be as cool as pointing to a faded stain on the carpet, but i'll take what i can get.

christina
Thanks for this reminder.

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Old 01-26-2009, 05:05 PM
 
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And I would like there to be a special connection with where we bury the placentas. One was buried when we planted a lilac bush at DH's home farm. Second one was there too, with an apricot tree, but that tree didn't make it. Third one is still in the freezer, waiting for the right moment!

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Old 01-27-2009, 12:19 AM
 
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I'm living in a rental that I am NOT going to be in any longer than I have to, and want to have our baby in 'our house.' I'm wondering if we should try to find our perfect place before the baby comes or not less than four months from now!

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Old 01-27-2009, 03:27 AM
 
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dd's placenta is still the freezer at my mother's house for this very reason. Still trying to reconcile this . . .

finally midwife mama to my home-birthed nurslings: Noemi Sakura 16.10.07 & Seder Pádraig 13.7.09 and partner to their lovely daddy
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