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#181 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 12:55 PM
 
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Thank you Indigo, what a beautiful story. What a wonderfully peaceful birth. Gives me strength and excitement for this little one's birth. I am so happy for you! Enjoy your babymoon
Brandi

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#182 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 01:24 PM
 
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Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story, Indigolilybear! It brought me to tears as I read through it.
Enjoy this beautiful, magical time.

Kate

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#183 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 02:57 PM
 
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Oh, Indigo, what a wonderful birthing! I am so happy for you and your family. Your birth story reminded me of my last birth (although interestingly I did have other people there). What you experienced with Soleil's birth sounds like what I am hoping for this time for this baby (8 more weeks for me, give or take!) You sound so incredibly calm and centered. I am so happy for you. Welcome to the world, Soleil!

I'm getting really excited as more of the babies are born on this board!!

Amanda, mom to Everest (12), Alden (10-1/2), Ellery (7-1/2), & Avery (6)
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#184 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 04:05 PM
 
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Indigo, Congratulations!!!! I am all teary and happy after reading your birth story!

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#185 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 04:28 PM
 
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Thanks so much for sharing your birth story! It was truly amazing.
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#186 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 04:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What a great story! I want to do it now!
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#187 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 05:46 PM
 
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indigolilybear... I've been waiting to hear your birth story. It sounds so perfect. I hope my birth goes as nice, and smoothly as that one.

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#188 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 05:56 PM
 
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WOOHOO!

I haven't read all the posts yet, but I *will* and love it.. I was just so thrilled to find this thread. Not pg yet, and actually aren't sure when we will be trying, but I just oh so casually mentioned to my dh the other day that maybe next time we could just NOT go to the hospital. We've had two perfectly wonderful hospital deliveries, but I started out with plans for HB with the second that were derailed by an impromtu move to another state. Since then, I was thinking dh would never entertain another HB plea. I'm still floating around with the knowledge that not only would he do HB, he'd do UC!! I think he'll require the usual appt's and tests, but then just blow off the hospital delivery. And we'll definitely have a nice big tub handy. Fail to mention to anyone that we're in labor until we have a baby. With both dd and ds, they got there before the doctor could, and I think he's finally come to terms with just how competent the two of us are with bringing our children into this world. I can't wait for this next baby!!

And now I have all of you to learn from in the meantime!

lizzie

It's such a relief to finally trust yourself.
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#189 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 07:39 PM
 
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Blue Violet posted these on her site for me, if anyone wants to see.

http://home.earthlink.net/~eaglefalc...rthphotos.html


thanks, BV!
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#190 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 08:10 PM
 
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Indigolilybear! Your photos are beautiful! You look wonderful and your baby looks so smooth and soft that I just want to eat her up! Thank you for sharing these! (And BV for hosting them!)

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#191 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 08:28 PM
 
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such a treat to come across on a rough afternoon... a beautiful story and some gorgeous pictures. thanks to you both, indigo and blueviolet!

off to find some kleenex,

katje
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#192 of 207 Old 03-22-2004, 11:41 PM
 
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Indigolilybear, what beautiful pictures and what an inspiring story! You and your daughter look so amazing! Congratulations! Welcome Soleil!

lizzie

It's such a relief to finally trust yourself.
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#193 of 207 Old 03-23-2004, 12:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, those are great pictures! And that baby has just the right amount of chunkiness!

ILB, I love that lavender tank top. How come I can't find cool maternity clothes like that?

And, any significance to the necklaces? Did you make them? So pretty!
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#194 of 207 Old 03-23-2004, 01:08 AM
 
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When I looked at your pics, indigo, I had to smile. That's how it made me feel. It all looks so harmonious, and that there was no one "missing". KWIM? Congrats~~
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#195 of 207 Old 03-23-2004, 01:38 AM
 
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Wonderful pictures!! Your children are all beautiful!

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#196 of 207 Old 03-23-2004, 03:18 AM
 
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Thanks for all the kind words mamas......warmed my heart, it did.

BV-- as for the tank top, MIL got them for me at the Gap of all places!! :LOL I loved them...and still am wearing them. I hate most maternity clothes....so sick of the A-line!

As for the necklaces, one has the shela-na-gig (sp?) or the yoni goddess. It has jasper, which was foudn close to where ds was born and carnelian. DH got it for me before I was preg. w/dd and I have worn it strung w/different beads during each birth. The other one is the rose quartz venus of wilendorf taht my women's group friends gave me when I moved away and I love it. I restrung it w/Botswana agate and garnet. As I mentioned, DH and I went through some bad times this preg. so I made and wore this necklace as a reminder to myself to be strong w/in myself during this pregnancy.....and remember my *own* power. HOwever, when I had the bloody show, I wanted to wear both of them for the birth. I make a birth necklace and an anklet for the baby each birth. DH wears every day the one that matches mine since I was pregnant w/ds.

thanks again mamas for your kind words.
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#197 of 207 Old 03-23-2004, 11:02 AM
 
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Indigo, your birth and pictures are just gorgeous! Thanks for telling us about the necklaces, I was wondering, too. They look so beautiful, just like your little one. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing with us. Reading your story and looking at the pictures again has just made my day!

Spark and her four firecrackers.
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#198 of 207 Old 03-25-2004, 11:22 AM
 
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Yes, those pics were really nice. You look exactly how I think you should.

I wanna bitch and moan some more...hope nobody minds.

My SIL says she's coming to visit after the baby is born. Um, excuse me?! I don't like her, she doesn't seem to like me...why does she think she can come visit me? And, at such an intimate time?

My dh's family is really losing their collective mind. I want to cuss them out. Lucky for them, they're talking to him not me. I really don't know who they think they are.

Dh says we'll just not tell anyone when the baby is born, but I'm not passive-aggressive like that. Just b/c I had a baby is no reason to come visit me without my permission. Esp. if you're not someone who visits me anyway. Last time my SIL was at our house, she was soooo rude I wanted to hit her. And, she's ALWAYS rude, no matter who's house she's at. I don't know what dh told her, but I don't think it was, "No, that's not a good idea."

What's wrong with him that he can't just speak the truth and stand up for his immediate family? Why do I have to deal with EVERYTHING?

*sigh*

Back to your cheerful thread...

I guess I'm next in line to give birth...anyday now! A friend says I'll give birth this weekend. I hope so! I have a cough and my muscles under my stomach are so stretched out (the baby's head is down there) that it hurts when I cough. Poor me, right? :LOL This kid needs to be born soon, or I may have to put myself on bedrest.
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#199 of 207 Old 03-25-2004, 12:48 PM
 
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Oh Chaka, I'm sorry you are getting that kind of crap from the family! Sending you calming vibes and thoughts. And some gentle birthing vibes too!
Brandi

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mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13

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#200 of 207 Old 03-25-2004, 01:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So your husband will not tell them to not to come? Is there anyone else who could spread the word for you? If not, I'd call them myself and just make it clear. It's a pain, but you'll be happier after the birth.

Shoot, my own mom who I love dearly wasn't invited until a week after the birth. My in-laws live just down the road so I had to give them a few minutes (and they are very sweet and respectful so it wasn't a big deal) but in general I just had to make it known that I am extremely emotionally raw after birth and need time to adjust before doing any socializing. And people accepted that, maybe because I was making it about me, not about them, so it would've a stretch for anyone to take it personally.
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#201 of 207 Old 03-25-2004, 02:20 PM
 
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Oh Chaka, it sucks when our dh's won't stand up to their family. It really puts us in a hard spot. I woul personally be pissed too.

I told dh I don't want anyone around for at least a week, and possibly two. *IF* I feel that I would like to see someone, one of my close friends perhaps, then I will call and invite them. *IF* I want MIL to come over, I will invite her. Otherwise, if someone is rude enough to come over uninvited, I plan on being just a rude and going directly to my bedroom and closing the door. Of course, I would be a gracious host and let them know I am going...."Oh, how nice to see you, I was just going to bed to take a nap. I hope to get to talk to you later. " I expect a few of my day care parents to pop over, and SIL will probably drive down from LA on a weekend day. But I really want to just be alone for a while. I am typically very social, so I think it is up to me ot decide how much visiting I want.

Blueviolet, I LOVE your site. I spent over 2 hours the other day perusing through the birth stories. Awesome!
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#202 of 207 Old 03-25-2004, 07:11 PM
 
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Chaka, I'm sorry to hear about your SIL, too. I'm sure that's the last thing you want to be worrying about right now! Your dh should really help you out more on this one. Can you reason with him?

I've already let my dh know that I don't want his family coming until at least a week later-- though I'd prefer a month! (We had this conversation the first time I was preg that ended in m/c). His family wanted to be here for the homebirth, and my dh had to explain over and over again that it wouldn't be appropriate or comfortable for me. I know they were disppointed (and they will be for this one, too) but at least we're giving them plenty of warning.

I hope it all works out for you, Chaka. And I hope you have your babe in your arms this weekend!

Well, I broached the subject of UC with dh over lunch last Saturday. It went exactly how I thought it would -- at first he was adamant that he would never agree to such a thing, but towards the end of the conversation he was giggling over how his parents would react. Actually that's probably going to be a source of contention for us -- I'm unwilling to share our decision of a freebirth with any of our family members, and dh sees this as lying. He thinks if we're doing something we have to lie about, then it's probably not a good thing to be doing. (Also, we're not very good with lying -- we both tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves). He's not convinced yet, but he can see how passionate I am about it and I can tell he's starting to warm up to the idea. I'm lucky I have 8 more months to convince him!

I've been doing all sorts of research about freebirthing and I'm finding it all so exhilirating. Pregnancy for me has been such an incredible spiritual journey -- even the first one that ended in m/c was a wonderful and moving experience. I'm just loving every single minute of it!

Blue Violet, I too checked out your website -- thank you for providing such a beautiful and resourceful site! I just love reading birth stories.

I'm so grateful to have found this thread and to be in the presence of such beautiful, enlightened women!

Kate

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#203 of 207 Old 03-26-2004, 01:39 PM
 
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Thanks for the support, everyone!

My dh is really no use in situations like this. His family is more talk-about-you-behind-your-back-and-smile-in-your-face, and he's got some of that in him, as well. We talked last night and he completely understands how I feel about this, yet he has issues with responsibility and I doubt he'll say anything to any of them. C'est la vie.

I already decided that if any of them come unannounced and uninvited, I will go to my room and stay there. It really bothers me that this is our 4th kid and no one (except MIL, and she only came with #3) came to visit any other time, but this time, everyone is like, "We're coming to visit!" I don't like it.

Kate, good luck! I also felt like I'd be lying to not say I'm UCing if asked about my birth plans/doctor situation, so I understand your dh's perspective. Maybe if I had lied, I wouldn't be dealing with what I'm dealing with now! :LOL

Good luck! It sounds like your dh will come aboard quite easily.
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#204 of 207 Old 03-28-2004, 12:40 AM
 
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I am not looking forward to upcoming family dinners, like rosh hashanah, because of the well-meaning and genuinely friendly questions that will, if answered honestly, lead to discussions I am unwilling to have. I don't see this as lying, however. It is for my own protection that I don't wish to discuss homebirth or anything else about my pregnancy with anyone but the most supportive of people.

So, if asked where the baby will be born, I hope to get away with saying just the name of the town. Oh, here in B---. I have no problem with being deliberately evasive or even outright lying though the absurdity of it is quite irritating.

I also anticipate awkwardness when the subject of not knowing the gender comes up, because I am afraid then the subject of a bris will come up, and I have no desire to drop the bombshell of not having a boy circumcised in a room full of people who will vociferously disagree with me. So there is plenty of evasion in store, and they'll hear the "truth" after the birth.

As far as visiting, be adamant about what you need. I certainly hope these people do not intend to stay overnight in your home without having asked. But if they do you must correct this outrageous assumption while you still have the wherewithal to do it, before labor and birth! Far more appropriate is for friends and family to keep their distance and be invited when the new mother feels like company, but it is amazing how insensitive people can be at a time like this.
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#205 of 207 Old 03-30-2004, 01:21 PM
 
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I started a new thread, this one is getting quite long.

new thread

Brandi

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mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13

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#206 of 207 Old 05-05-2004, 04:46 PM
 
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Sorry, but I am new here and there are WAAY to many abbreviations! WHat is AP and SAHM?
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#207 of 207 Old 05-05-2004, 05:20 PM
 
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s stacy...

AP = Attachment Parenting or Attachment Parent
SAHM = Stay At Home Mom
WAHM = Work At Home Mom
WOHM = Work Out of Home Mom
ds = dear son
dd = dear daughter
dh = dear husband
fwiw = for what it's worth

i think that pretty much covers the basics.
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