Disgusting story of OB/Gyn God Complex (posted in DDC as well) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 24 Old 04-16-2010, 01:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Back story...Last pregnancy, I had no real intention of home birthing. Around 20 weeks, I really started researching it. I mentioned it to one of the MEDwives at the OB practiced and she got really nasty and threatened to dismiss me from the practice if I ever mentioned it again. After we got the news the the baby was perfect and growing the right way, I got copies of my labs and never went back for prenatal care. I did, however, start with my home birth midwife. She did all the normal prenatal care stuff.

Anyway, last month, I needed my yearly womanly check-up. I figured since I knew that OB/GYN office, I would just go see them for that. They didn't even ask what happened, where I went, how the baby is...NOTHING. I figured all was "safe" So I scheduled my first OB check up with them. I had plans to do the same thing this pregnancy. Well, I had to see the OB intake nurse. She pried and pried me for answers about my last pregnancy. Finally, I broke down and told her the details of my last birth. She assured me that I would not be dismissed. I was then called to the lab for my draws. The phlebotomy chick was like an inch from sticking me when Intake Nurse calls DH and I back into our office. She gives us the "Bad news" That I was being dismissed for non-compliance. Not that I am shocked. More disgusted than anything. I now have an appointment with a more Home Birth tolerant midwife at another practice. I heard about her here as well as from my HB MW. I go on April 28th.
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#2 of 24 Old 04-16-2010, 03:56 PM
 
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She gives us the "Bad news" That I was being dismissed for non-compliance.
Sounds like she forgot who the paying customer is in this scenario.
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#3 of 24 Old 04-16-2010, 03:59 PM
 
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The power trip of some people? Where do they get off?
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#4 of 24 Old 04-16-2010, 04:08 PM
 
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Are we back in grade school???? non-compliance *snort* *giggle*

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#5 of 24 Old 04-16-2010, 04:12 PM
 
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Sounds like one of those blessings in disguise.
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#6 of 24 Old 04-17-2010, 09:45 AM
 
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Sounds like she forgot who the paying customer is in this scenario.
exactly
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#7 of 24 Old 04-17-2010, 12:48 PM
 
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Make sure they don't bill you or your insurance company for your "non-visit". If they do, be sure and report it to your ins co as fraudulent. I hope you danced out of the office with bells on!
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#8 of 24 Old 04-17-2010, 07:57 PM
 
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IME OBs and homebirths don't mix too well. My last baby was a planned hb botched by an OB. My 2nd baby was a beautiful peaceful perfect hb. Of course I hoped for the same for my 3rd baby. Went over by a week and had to go into hospital for NST due to slightly high b/p. NST was perfect, baby was great, b/p went down to acceptable level, the nurse came in and tossed a gown at me told me to get undressed the OB wanted to examine me. I had never met him, I was with a midwife, he just happened to be on the floor when I was there. I was so vulnerable and scared I got bullied into it, though I told the nurse I had just had an exam by my midwife that morning and didn't want another one, she was rude and insistent. It was awful, he stripped my membranes w/o asking, just announced he was doing it when I started bawling and almost screaming, the pain and fear was so intense. I can't shake the memory of it, every time I remember it I feel nausea and revulsion. After he was done he said "I called your midwife and told her you will not be having a homebirth, I've scheduled your induction for monday at 6 am, but I'll let her handle the delivery once we get the labor going. Your baby needs out, he's already too late (only 5 days at that point!) and you have pre-eclampsia." He would not give me any proof that I had pre e. Just said that since I had it with my first and I was swollen and had a high b/p reading I was obviously pre eclamptic again, also because I was having a boy- figure that one out! I had NO protein in my urine and my bloodwork was ok except liver enzymes were at the high end of normal. When my dh got to the hospital (I had called him in a panic to get there asap when I got sent in for the NST, but he was too late) I was in the bathroom crying and shaking so hard I couldn't dress myself and had thrown up.

What really sucked is that I went into labor that afternoon and my midwife said her hands were tied, she had could not do a homebirth for me, so I'd have to meet her at the hospital. I was only in the hospital for 1 hr before he was born, it would have been a perfect homebirth, my kids also didn't get to be present for the birth, which was important to me. It was ideal for a hospital birth, it was handled exclusively by my midwives, but I still wish it could have been a homebirth, especially since it took us over 3 yrs and a lot of fertility treatments to get pg with him, so he's likely my last baby.

I really can't stand OBs, I don't think I can ever go to another one again after what happened to me plus what happened when I gave birth to my first child in the hospital (whole nother story). I felt traumatized by it.
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#9 of 24 Old 04-17-2010, 08:19 PM
 
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OP, I'm confused. Don't get me wrong, I am not doubting your story - stranger things have happened! and I've had my share of bad OB stories too - but I'm confused. The office deemed you noncompliant for well-woman care (or whatever they call it) because you had had a homebirth? That just doesn't... that doesn't make sense to me. Am I missing something?
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#10 of 24 Old 04-17-2010, 10:52 PM
 
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OP, I'm confused. Don't get me wrong, I am not doubting your story - stranger things have happened! and I've had my share of bad OB stories too - but I'm confused. The office deemed you noncompliant for well-woman care (or whatever they call it) because you had had a homebirth? That just doesn't... that doesn't make sense to me. Am I missing something?
my SIL was 'kicked out' from her OB/GYNs practice for the same thing.
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#11 of 24 Old 04-19-2010, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OP, I'm confused. Don't get me wrong, I am not doubting your story - stranger things have happened! and I've had my share of bad OB stories too - but I'm confused. The office deemed you noncompliant for well-woman care (or whatever they call it) because you had had a homebirth? That just doesn't... that doesn't make sense to me. Am I missing something?

THEIR plan/instructions were against a home birth. I home birthed, therefore going against THEIR instructions. So yes, I was non-compliant.
I didn't follow THEIR plan for MY birth.
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#12 of 24 Old 04-19-2010, 12:46 PM
 
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When pregnant with my first, I was REFUSED care from every. single. OB I called, as they would not provide pre-natal unless I was going to go to them for the birth. One of them actually told me that they don't make money on the pre-natal, they make money on the birth, so they won't do pre-natal if they aren't going to get the big pay-off in the end.
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#13 of 24 Old 04-19-2010, 01:14 PM
 
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When pregnant with my first, I was REFUSED care from every. single. OB I called, as they would not provide pre-natal unless I was going to go to them for the birth. One of them actually told me that they don't make money on the pre-natal, they make money on the birth, so they won't do pre-natal if they aren't going to get the big pay-off in the end.
Points for honesty
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#14 of 24 Old 04-19-2010, 04:22 PM
 
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Points for honesty
No doubt.
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#15 of 24 Old 04-19-2010, 05:50 PM
 
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MrsJewelsRae - couldn't read your story and not send you a cyber-hug.
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#16 of 24 Old 02-27-2014, 11:32 AM
 
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I assure you that there are good OB's out there, who care, listen, and put you first. My OB also does home births. The key is to find one who is compatible with you, and abides by your wishes.

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#17 of 24 Old 05-10-2014, 07:13 AM
 
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To the OP.  It has been four years since this happened and I hope your child and DH are doing well.

 

There appears to be a movement in the medical community that you take all of us or none of us.  You go the medical route all the way or go away. 

 

I hope this was a blessing in disguise. G-d bless.

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#18 of 24 Old 05-10-2014, 10:18 AM
 
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To learn who rules over you, simply learn who you are not allowed to criticize. 

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#19 of 24 Old 05-10-2014, 11:21 PM
 
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To learn who rules over you, simply learn who you are not allowed to criticize. 

 

Like CPMs and other lay midwives?

 

Or MANA?

 

Or Midwifery Today?

 

 

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#20 of 24 Old 05-26-2014, 10:13 AM
 
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Like CPMs and other lay midwives?

Or MANA?

Or Midwifery Today?


How does Midwifery Today rule over me? That doesn't even make sense.
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#21 of 24 Old 05-27-2014, 07:27 AM
 
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Three months ago, a baby died. It was connected to Midwifery Today. We're not allowed to talk about it here. I can't even give your more detail than that, because we're not allowed to talk about it.

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#22 of 24 Old 05-30-2014, 02:10 PM
 
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Three months ago, a baby died. It was connected to Midwifery Today. We're not allowed to talk about it here. I can't even give your more detail than that, because we're not allowed to talk about it.
This is the strangest post I have ever seen... Zero info, and a shock and awe statement.

How could a baby dying be connected to Midwifery Today? That doesn't even make sense... Just sayin
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#23 of 24 Old 05-30-2014, 02:20 PM
 
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This is the strangest post I have ever seen... Zero info, and a shock and awe statement.

How could a baby dying be connected to Midwifery Today? That doesn't even make sense... Just sayin
Seriously, we're not allowed to talk about it here. There was a thread on it when it happened, and the moderators deleted it. I certainly learned "who we're not allowed to criticize." If you want to know more about it, google Gavin Michael and Midwifery Today.
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#24 of 24 Old 05-31-2014, 03:52 PM
 
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I'm locking this resurrected-from-2010, off on a weird tangent thread.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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