Disgusting story of OB/Gyn God Complex (posted in DDC as well) - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 2Likes
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 24 Old 04-16-2010, 02:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
TyrantOfTheWeek's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Woodstock, GA
Posts: 378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Back story...Last pregnancy, I had no real intention of home birthing. Around 20 weeks, I really started researching it. I mentioned it to one of the MEDwives at the OB practiced and she got really nasty and threatened to dismiss me from the practice if I ever mentioned it again. After we got the news the the baby was perfect and growing the right way, I got copies of my labs and never went back for prenatal care. I did, however, start with my home birth midwife. She did all the normal prenatal care stuff.

Anyway, last month, I needed my yearly womanly check-up. I figured since I knew that OB/GYN office, I would just go see them for that. They didn't even ask what happened, where I went, how the baby is...NOTHING. I figured all was "safe" So I scheduled my first OB check up with them. I had plans to do the same thing this pregnancy. Well, I had to see the OB intake nurse. She pried and pried me for answers about my last pregnancy. Finally, I broke down and told her the details of my last birth. She assured me that I would not be dismissed. I was then called to the lab for my draws. The phlebotomy chick was like an inch from sticking me when Intake Nurse calls DH and I back into our office. She gives us the "Bad news" That I was being dismissed for non-compliance. Not that I am shocked. More disgusted than anything. I now have an appointment with a more Home Birth tolerant midwife at another practice. I heard about her here as well as from my HB MW. I go on April 28th.

Mindie, wife to Mark, not-so-crunchy mom to Dylan (4/04); Devon (6/06); Dorothy (9/07); Derek (12/19/09); Daniel (12/18/10); Newbie D (2/22/12)

TyrantOfTheWeek is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 24 Old 04-16-2010, 04:56 PM
 
laughingfox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 857
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TyrantOfTheWeek View Post
She gives us the "Bad news" That I was being dismissed for non-compliance.
Sounds like she forgot who the paying customer is in this scenario.

Mama to a couple of full-moon caul-bearing rockstar girls:
9yo and brand new as of 4/28/10!
laughingfox is offline  
#3 of 24 Old 04-16-2010, 04:59 PM
 
briome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 348
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The power trip of some people? Where do they get off?
briome is offline  
#4 of 24 Old 04-16-2010, 05:08 PM
 
Terrilein's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Germany
Posts: 1,586
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Are we back in grade school???? non-compliance *snort* *giggle*

hide.gif Me 41, single mom to modifiedartist.gifdd 4/2001 and demon.gif ds 7/17/2010

Terrilein is offline  
#5 of 24 Old 04-16-2010, 05:12 PM
 
nurnur4evr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: colorado
Posts: 127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sounds like one of those blessings in disguise.
nurnur4evr is offline  
#6 of 24 Old 04-17-2010, 10:45 AM
 
Adamsmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by laughingfox View Post
Sounds like she forgot who the paying customer is in this scenario.
exactly
Adamsmama is offline  
#7 of 24 Old 04-17-2010, 01:48 PM
 
skyblufig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: on the shores of Lake Michigan
Posts: 413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Make sure they don't bill you or your insurance company for your "non-visit". If they do, be sure and report it to your ins co as fraudulent. I hope you danced out of the office with bells on!

Jfly-by-nursing1.gif, partner-in-crime to Dfamilybed2.gif, mama to run.gif4, including our brand new rainbow1284.gifbaby.gifmissing my 7-wk-er

skyblufig is offline  
#8 of 24 Old 04-17-2010, 08:57 PM
 
MrsJewelsRae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 358
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
IME OBs and homebirths don't mix too well. My last baby was a planned hb botched by an OB. My 2nd baby was a beautiful peaceful perfect hb. Of course I hoped for the same for my 3rd baby. Went over by a week and had to go into hospital for NST due to slightly high b/p. NST was perfect, baby was great, b/p went down to acceptable level, the nurse came in and tossed a gown at me told me to get undressed the OB wanted to examine me. I had never met him, I was with a midwife, he just happened to be on the floor when I was there. I was so vulnerable and scared I got bullied into it, though I told the nurse I had just had an exam by my midwife that morning and didn't want another one, she was rude and insistent. It was awful, he stripped my membranes w/o asking, just announced he was doing it when I started bawling and almost screaming, the pain and fear was so intense. I can't shake the memory of it, every time I remember it I feel nausea and revulsion. After he was done he said "I called your midwife and told her you will not be having a homebirth, I've scheduled your induction for monday at 6 am, but I'll let her handle the delivery once we get the labor going. Your baby needs out, he's already too late (only 5 days at that point!) and you have pre-eclampsia." He would not give me any proof that I had pre e. Just said that since I had it with my first and I was swollen and had a high b/p reading I was obviously pre eclamptic again, also because I was having a boy- figure that one out! I had NO protein in my urine and my bloodwork was ok except liver enzymes were at the high end of normal. When my dh got to the hospital (I had called him in a panic to get there asap when I got sent in for the NST, but he was too late) I was in the bathroom crying and shaking so hard I couldn't dress myself and had thrown up.

What really sucked is that I went into labor that afternoon and my midwife said her hands were tied, she had could not do a homebirth for me, so I'd have to meet her at the hospital. I was only in the hospital for 1 hr before he was born, it would have been a perfect homebirth, my kids also didn't get to be present for the birth, which was important to me. It was ideal for a hospital birth, it was handled exclusively by my midwives, but I still wish it could have been a homebirth, especially since it took us over 3 yrs and a lot of fertility treatments to get pg with him, so he's likely my last baby.

I really can't stand OBs, I don't think I can ever go to another one again after what happened to me plus what happened when I gave birth to my first child in the hospital (whole nother story). I felt traumatized by it.

Jewels & Jon (Married 11+ yrs)- Homeschooling, No Circ, BF, CD Mama to:
Alex 8 Gabby 6 (Homeborn!) Gideon 2.... chickens, ducks, cats and a dog
MrsJewelsRae is offline  
#9 of 24 Old 04-17-2010, 09:19 PM
 
honey-lilac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 748
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OP, I'm confused. Don't get me wrong, I am not doubting your story - stranger things have happened! and I've had my share of bad OB stories too - but I'm confused. The office deemed you noncompliant for well-woman care (or whatever they call it) because you had had a homebirth? That just doesn't... that doesn't make sense to me. Am I missing something?

mama of DS(3) & DD(2)
honey-lilac is offline  
#10 of 24 Old 04-17-2010, 11:52 PM
 
born2birth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 130
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by honey-lilac View Post
OP, I'm confused. Don't get me wrong, I am not doubting your story - stranger things have happened! and I've had my share of bad OB stories too - but I'm confused. The office deemed you noncompliant for well-woman care (or whatever they call it) because you had had a homebirth? That just doesn't... that doesn't make sense to me. Am I missing something?
my SIL was 'kicked out' from her OB/GYNs practice for the same thing.

~Bekah~ wife to Richard ~ mom to 4 on earth & 4 in heaven
20****25****30****35***40
born2birth is offline  
#11 of 24 Old 04-19-2010, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
TyrantOfTheWeek's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Woodstock, GA
Posts: 378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by honey-lilac View Post
OP, I'm confused. Don't get me wrong, I am not doubting your story - stranger things have happened! and I've had my share of bad OB stories too - but I'm confused. The office deemed you noncompliant for well-woman care (or whatever they call it) because you had had a homebirth? That just doesn't... that doesn't make sense to me. Am I missing something?

THEIR plan/instructions were against a home birth. I home birthed, therefore going against THEIR instructions. So yes, I was non-compliant.
I didn't follow THEIR plan for MY birth.

Mindie, wife to Mark, not-so-crunchy mom to Dylan (4/04); Devon (6/06); Dorothy (9/07); Derek (12/19/09); Daniel (12/18/10); Newbie D (2/22/12)

TyrantOfTheWeek is offline  
#12 of 24 Old 04-19-2010, 01:46 PM
 
DirtRoadMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: on a dirt road, naturally
Posts: 206
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When pregnant with my first, I was REFUSED care from every. single. OB I called, as they would not provide pre-natal unless I was going to go to them for the birth. One of them actually told me that they don't make money on the pre-natal, they make money on the birth, so they won't do pre-natal if they aren't going to get the big pay-off in the end.
DirtRoadMama is offline  
#13 of 24 Old 04-19-2010, 02:14 PM
 
dogmom327's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 5,702
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DirtRoadMama View Post
When pregnant with my first, I was REFUSED care from every. single. OB I called, as they would not provide pre-natal unless I was going to go to them for the birth. One of them actually told me that they don't make money on the pre-natal, they make money on the birth, so they won't do pre-natal if they aren't going to get the big pay-off in the end.
Points for honesty

Mama to DS (6/07) h20homebirth.gif, DD (6/09) h20homebirth.gif, and DD (07/12) homebirth.jpg..

dogmom327 is offline  
#14 of 24 Old 04-19-2010, 05:22 PM
 
amandabarugh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 29
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogmom327 View Post
Points for honesty
No doubt.
amandabarugh is offline  
#15 of 24 Old 04-19-2010, 06:50 PM
 
alton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 68
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
MrsJewelsRae - couldn't read your story and not send you a cyber-hug.
alton is offline  
#16 of 24 Old 02-27-2014, 12:32 PM
 
labtechgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I assure you that there are good OB's out there, who care, listen, and put you first. My OB also does home births. The key is to find one who is compatible with you, and abides by your wishes.

labtechgirl is offline  
#17 of 24 Old 05-10-2014, 08:13 AM
 
applejuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: hunting the wild aebelskiever
Posts: 18,402
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)

To the OP.  It has been four years since this happened and I hope your child and DH are doing well.

 

There appears to be a movement in the medical community that you take all of us or none of us.  You go the medical route all the way or go away. 

 

I hope this was a blessing in disguise. G-d bless.


"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
applejuice is offline  
#18 of 24 Old 05-10-2014, 11:18 AM
 
applejuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: hunting the wild aebelskiever
Posts: 18,402
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)

To learn who rules over you, simply learn who you are not allowed to criticize. 


"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
applejuice is offline  
#19 of 24 Old 05-11-2014, 12:21 AM
 
pillowy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 80
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by applejuice View Post
 

To learn who rules over you, simply learn who you are not allowed to criticize. 

 

Like CPMs and other lay midwives?

 

Or MANA?

 

Or Midwifery Today?

 

 

pillowy is offline  
#20 of 24 Old 05-26-2014, 11:13 AM
 
Turquesa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 4,068
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 54 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pillowy View Post

Like CPMs and other lay midwives?

Or MANA?

Or Midwifery Today?


How does Midwifery Today rule over me? That doesn't even make sense.

In God we trust; all others must show data. selectivevax.gifsurf.gifteapot2.GIFintactivist.gif
Turquesa is offline  
#21 of 24 Old 05-27-2014, 08:27 AM
 
pillowy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 80
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Three months ago, a baby died. It was connected to Midwifery Today. We're not allowed to talk about it here. I can't even give your more detail than that, because we're not allowed to talk about it.

pillowy is offline  
#22 of 24 Old 05-30-2014, 03:10 PM
 
babytoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 529
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pillowy View Post
Three months ago, a baby died. It was connected to Midwifery Today. We're not allowed to talk about it here. I can't even give your more detail than that, because we're not allowed to talk about it.
This is the strangest post I have ever seen... Zero info, and a shock and awe statement.

How could a baby dying be connected to Midwifery Today? That doesn't even make sense... Just sayin

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ Lucianna Quinn born at home in the water ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿
 
Mom to 3 Boys; Nick (22), Gavin (14), and Peyton (10) And the little girl who's a crazy Toddler! Madly in LOVE with my soul mate Jason 
babytoes is offline  
#23 of 24 Old 05-30-2014, 03:20 PM
 
pillowy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 80
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by babytoes View Post
This is the strangest post I have ever seen... Zero info, and a shock and awe statement.

How could a baby dying be connected to Midwifery Today? That doesn't even make sense... Just sayin
Seriously, we're not allowed to talk about it here. There was a thread on it when it happened, and the moderators deleted it. I certainly learned "who we're not allowed to criticize." If you want to know more about it, google Gavin Michael and Midwifery Today.
pillowy is offline  
#24 of 24 Old 05-31-2014, 04:52 PM
 
phathui5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 17,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I'm locking this resurrected-from-2010, off on a weird tangent thread.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
phathui5 is offline  
Closed Thread

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off