I've been hunting all over the place for someone who could help me have a HBA2C. I'm relatively low risk in general, have had both of my C-sections due to positioning (footling breech and then breech/transverse twins, who were an HBAC attempt but we transferred because of the positioning and inability to push breech baby A out) and you'd think this would be relatively easy, right?
Not. I just got turned down by the only midwives I can really afford because doing a VBAC is too much of a risk to their practice in our state. Which I totally understand and respect, it was just like someone stabbed me when she finally came out and said it.
I'm pretty sure that, unless I do it myself, I'm not getting my homebirth or even a VBAC this time, and I just feel like raging and kicking and screaming and lining up OBs and insurance company executives so I can punch them in the face one by one.
I really needed a VBAC this time. I'm a single low-income mom, an independent contractor who can't get maternity leave, and can only take four weeks off of work financially and in terms of keeping my contract. I figured paying for a homebirth out of pocket (healthier for baby, healthier for me) was better than trying to afford the extra time off of work that major surgery + a newborn will require, right? Well, I guess now I'm paying for an six to eight-week maternity leave instead of a midwife, because my only options are literally a homebirth or a C-section in this area. (Yes, I know my legal right to refuse, I just don't see myself being able to fend off verbal abuse and threats while in labor, and I have no support person to do it for me.)
I hate the system, I hate the people who perpetuate the lack of choice in the birth industry, and I'm just crushed that I'm going to be mourning yet another birth and the end of my fertility when this is over.
If this isn't appropriate for this forum, let me know. I just needed to vent.