I just need to vent... midwife won't do HBA2C - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 05-06-2010, 11:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been hunting all over the place for someone who could help me have a HBA2C. I'm relatively low risk in general, have had both of my C-sections due to positioning (footling breech and then breech/transverse twins, who were an HBAC attempt but we transferred because of the positioning and inability to push breech baby A out) and you'd think this would be relatively easy, right?

Not. I just got turned down by the only midwives I can really afford because doing a VBAC is too much of a risk to their practice in our state. Which I totally understand and respect, it was just like someone stabbed me when she finally came out and said it.

I'm pretty sure that, unless I do it myself, I'm not getting my homebirth or even a VBAC this time, and I just feel like raging and kicking and screaming and lining up OBs and insurance company executives so I can punch them in the face one by one.

I really needed a VBAC this time. I'm a single low-income mom, an independent contractor who can't get maternity leave, and can only take four weeks off of work financially and in terms of keeping my contract. I figured paying for a homebirth out of pocket (healthier for baby, healthier for me) was better than trying to afford the extra time off of work that major surgery + a newborn will require, right? Well, I guess now I'm paying for an six to eight-week maternity leave instead of a midwife, because my only options are literally a homebirth or a C-section in this area. (Yes, I know my legal right to refuse, I just don't see myself being able to fend off verbal abuse and threats while in labor, and I have no support person to do it for me.)

I hate the system, I hate the people who perpetuate the lack of choice in the birth industry, and I'm just crushed that I'm going to be mourning yet another birth and the end of my fertility when this is over.

If this isn't appropriate for this forum, let me know. I just needed to vent.

full time, single, slightly soggy WOHM to Juliet (12.31.2004 @ 36w5d) and Willow & Adam (2.22.2007 @ 39w5d, HBAC transfer) and... expecting my little womb warrior Eowyn Susanne in September
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#2 of 11 Old 05-06-2010, 12:32 PM
 
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Have you looked into getting a doula? A doula could help advocate for you at the hospital. When you interview the doulas, just explain exactly what you want.

You might also be able to find a doula who is willing to do an unassisted home birth. You can also get a post-partum doula, and that might help with your healing time. I'm not overly familiar with what a post-partum doula does, but I'm going to be looking into it myself, as I'm also a single mom with no real support group in the area.

Maybe you could find a lay-midwife? Try asking in your local tribe forum, and maybe someone there can point you towards someone who practices underground.

It's tough, I know!!!
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#3 of 11 Old 05-06-2010, 03:31 PM
 
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What area are you in?

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#4 of 11 Old 05-06-2010, 04:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by appleseed View Post
I hate the system, I hate the people who perpetuate the lack of choice in the birth industry, and I'm just crushed that I'm going to be mourning yet another birth and the end of my fertility when this is over.
Mama, this just breaks my heart. The lack of choice is so frustrating and sad. How about a traveling MW? I know that usually spells more money but there may be someone out there. Perhaps a MW who has done a HBAC herself and knows how hard the lack of choices can be?
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#5 of 11 Old 05-06-2010, 05:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
What area are you in?
Philadelphia.

full time, single, slightly soggy WOHM to Juliet (12.31.2004 @ 36w5d) and Willow & Adam (2.22.2007 @ 39w5d, HBAC transfer) and... expecting my little womb warrior Eowyn Susanne in September
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#6 of 11 Old 05-06-2010, 09:57 PM
 
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Decided to PM info instead of posting...
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#7 of 11 Old 05-07-2010, 10:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, everyone, for the supportive comments and PMs with ideas. I've decided to give up this fight this time Having a homebirth has also been a huge issue financially, as my insurance won't cover it and finding a midwife who is flexible on payment plans etc. has been imperative... it just seems like everything is pointing towards this not working out, at this point. Bums me out to admit defeat like that.

I am going to find new doctors with a hospital with a better C-section rate, fight as hard as I can against having a C-section, and prepare myself for the possibility of an oops-didn't-make-it-to-the-hospital birth if things still look grim

full time, single, slightly soggy WOHM to Juliet (12.31.2004 @ 36w5d) and Willow & Adam (2.22.2007 @ 39w5d, HBAC transfer) and... expecting my little womb warrior Eowyn Susanne in September
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#8 of 11 Old 05-07-2010, 10:50 AM
 
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Best wishes for an easy pregnancy! Keep us posted!
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#9 of 11 Old 05-07-2010, 07:09 PM
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I would second someone else's suggestion of a doula. If you can find an OB who will work with your wishes to at least do a VBAC, then the doula can be the one fighting with pushy hospital people to avoid a cesarean.

Jackie
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#10 of 11 Old 05-08-2010, 01:43 AM
 
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I just wanted to send you some hugs!

caution: one-handed nak

typos likely

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#11 of 11 Old 05-10-2010, 12:30 PM
 
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I am sorry that you are having a hard time. Where I live, it would be impossible to find a homebirth for a person in your situation. sad sad sad!

Here is a link to ICAN. http://ican-online.org/chapter/search

I really recommend that you join the group nearest you. They will be able to advise on specific providers who are most supportive of helping you with your VBAC. Since they have private list-serves, they generally have no qualms about naming names, for both providers to contact and providers to stay far far away from.

Good luck. I hope you find a wonderful provider who will respect and support you. Although I am pro-homebirth, good providers can be found in hospitals. I had 2 great hospital births before my homebirth.
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