Originally Posted by nashvillemidwife
YES. The details you provide don't concern me, but if I was your midwife I would be very, very concerned about our relationship. The trust between you and your midwife is a two way street, and you've run into a road block. It doesn't matter which way the block is facing.
Not really sure what I would do or say at this point. Bottom line is I don't trust her and that's not going to change. DH wanted me to call and ask why she gave pitocin to raise blood pressure as she said if bleeding had already stopped. I emailed her on Saturday to ask, didn't hear back by late Tues. afternoon (email is supposed to be a good way to contact her and the only way to communicate with her while she's out of the country doing births which she will be later this month so that's another issue but it's possible that she truly didn't get it) so I called her. She said she didn't get my email and I asked her my question. She told me that about an hour after birth bleeding was at normal levels so she took a nap. Mom was supposed to tell her if she got up but she got up to pee without telling her (supported by mom's sis and doula). Midwife wakes up out of "deep sleep" to find mom standing and feeling very faint so they get her on the floor and midwife said she gave her pitocin b/c she didn't know how much blood she'd lost in the meantime (while midwife was sleeping). Said mom's bp was 40/20 at that point. Also said mom's bp last time it was checked before that incident was 110/40 which seems odd (and midwife specifically told me she was looking at mom's chart while she was telling me this so it's not like she misremembered or something). I questioned her on the details several times to make sure I understood what she was saying.
So talked to my friend after this and asked about it, and she told me the midwife didn't take a nap until about 3 hours after birth when everyone there slept, and midwife was right there and TOLD her to get up and go pee! Which is the same information I had from the doula when I talked to her several weeks ago. So the midwife flat out lied to me. It seems quite clear to me that either she knows she mishandled this and is trying to cover up, or she's defensive about being questioned about her handling of it and is trying to put blame on others to take any pressure off herself.
I don't have a problem writing her a letter and saying that I don't feel comfortable with her handling of my friend's situation nor her integrity as a person since she lied to me. And also that I have seen a lot of little things that make me feel that she is sloppy/slip-shod in the way she handles things in general. (All worded a little more nicely of course.) But we will be unhiring her and looking for someone else. I think at this point I'd be more comfortable UC'ing in a hotel a few minutes from the hospital (as we live 25 minutes away) than I would be having her attend my birth.