what does your midwife do at visits? - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 11 Old 09-26-2010, 05:40 PM - Thread Starter
yukookoo's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Ca
Posts: 875
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Mine basically honestly does nothing I couldnt do myself.

She sits down and answers my questions, which honestly i dont have many i cant get answered here or through google or something

thens he checks my blood pressure and then listens to baby on doppler (which i have a doppler and I can listen to the HB and tell if its where it should be for 1 min etc.

No urine checking, i have had 1 blood draw the whole pregnancy which is almost over. i remember with dd at the main stream dr getting blood drawn monthly or so.. not that I need that or anything

but I guess i am just feeling like my midwife hasnt done much and I am starting to get worried as the birth approaches. She also seems very air headish to me like last time she came she forgot my file! so she basically wasted the whole visit not really even knowing anything about anything. She said she would send me a slip to go to the lab for blood work but never did: that was over a month ago. Every time she comes she forgets something leaves something here, loses something etc.

I feel like when I go into labor I want to make her pull out all her equipment or whatever and make sure its all there while s he still has time to go back home and get anything she forgot.

She has a long history, lots of experience, i like her personality but the lack of professionalism and sort of non challant attitude is starting to scare me as i am getting closer and thinking this person could be responsible for me and my childs life!

On the other hand, my pregnancy has been very normal. Same as with dd. Weight gain fine, blood pressure same each visit, heart rate fine, I'm young, healthy, etc. If I had a uti or something i would probably know about it, blood pressure fine so not much reason to look for protein etc ? No red flags that would indicate any intervention...

She is coming every 2 weeks now, and i also remember feeling like this and saying so to my dr with dd, like they say prenatal visits are so important but I could ahve not seen a dr the whole pregnancy, nothing really came of them... I am very lucky for that and grateful, i guess its more about catching the red flags when things arent right
yukookoo is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 11 Old 09-26-2010, 05:48 PM
lyterae's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,105
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My visit starts with me peeing on a test strip in the bathroom and telling her what "colors" the strip is, as well as weighing myself. She takes my bloodpressure, listens to the baby, and we talk throughout. I did just get my blood drawn (I had to find an OB to do it) and schedule my ultrasound (needed because I am a VBAC).

wife of 8 years to DH geek.gif, mama to DD blahblah.gif (2006) & DS jog.gif (2011) angel1.gif (Dec. 2012) rainbow1284.gif due Nov. 2013 

 vbac.gifh20homebirth.gif cd.gif homeschool.gif

lyterae is offline  
#3 of 11 Old 09-26-2010, 07:27 PM
allisonrose's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NoVa
Posts: 1,997
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
My midwife chats with me about whatnot, uses a strip to test my urine for several things, checks blood pressure, fundal height, baby's heartbeat. I think she also keeps an eye on whether I have swelling and a few other things as well. I haven't had bloodwork done during this pregnancy (my first pregnancy - more mainstream care - I believe it was drawn twice). My midwife did refer me for a 20 week diagnostic ultrasound because we wanted that peace of mind.

With my first, I did feel like the appointments were a bit of a waste of time. This time I don't feel that way because my midwife will actually be with me while I am in labor - with my first (a hospital birth) I ended up with an on-call provider who popped in from time to time. So I think it's good to get to know her a bit and vice versa.

Mama to Blake, 6, and Grant, 4
allisonrose is offline  
#4 of 11 Old 09-26-2010, 07:37 PM
lovebeingamomma's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: RI
Posts: 1,515
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
you could express your concerns with her. Forgetting things on a consistent basis would be unacceptable to me.

Christian SAHM & birth doula.
lovebeingamomma is offline  
#5 of 11 Old 09-27-2010, 01:55 PM
stephbrownthinks's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Central Coast, CA
Posts: 245
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My midwife would have me pee in a cup and do the strip test then tell her what it was. If I wanted to weigh myself I could. She'd check my blood pressure, feel my belly, and listen to the heartbeat. I only had one blood draw. She'd always ask if we had any questions (which we didnt).

I don't feel like she "did anything," yet all the appointments were an hour. Mostly I think she was getting to know me and my husband and building a relationship with us. During the birth she was great, professional, and I feel like because she had spent so much time "doing nothing" but just getting to know me it was easier for her to be supportive in the ways I needed her to be. I tore a little and she did a great job stitching.

She's a really non-chalant person (and I think she could tell I didn't need a lot of hand-holding at the appointments), but was 200% competent and down to business once she needed to be.
stephbrownthinks is offline  
#6 of 11 Old 09-27-2010, 02:16 PM
rubygirl36's Avatar
Join Date: May 2010
Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 54
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
one of the taoist philosophies is that doing nothing gets things done. midwives are usually much more low-tech and low-intervention than doctors. if i were you, i'd feel good about the fact that there's not a whole lot she *needs* to do to take care of you; your body is taking care of itself.

with the other issue, though, i'd also be concerned about the forgetfulness. i think it would be fine to bring this up to her in a gentle sort of way. something like, "i don't have any questions this time, but is there maybe something you'd like to discuss?" maybe something in her life is distracting her. or maybe she's just better at the clinical nitty-gritty of birth than she is at customer service. you won't know until you ask!

~ alison
me and my girl looking for a little luck to conceive and homebirth our first.
rubygirl36 is offline  
#7 of 11 Old 09-27-2010, 05:18 PM
MegBoz's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 2,063
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My MW does the same:
Checks my BP
Listens to fetal HR

But she also checks my resting heart rate
Urine screens (I dip & compare the color myself & report back to her)

She doesn't check my weight - says I can if I want.

& asks lots of questions about how I'm feeling, like everything from emotions to asking if I'm constipated, change in vaginal discharge, etc.

BUT... aside from weighing me automatically, the hospital-based CNMs I saw AND (before learning the truth & transferring) the OBs I saw with DS didn't do anything more either! So I don't think you're missing out on anything but urine screening.

While I agree that I could check most of that myself at home, I appreciate the opportunity to get to know her & her asst since they will both be at my birth. I think that value of apts is just as important as the things they're checking.

So, from having had "standard medical care," I don't see that you're missing out on anything either (other than urine screens.) I wouldn't worry about that.

But I agree, forgetfulness might bother me, so I'd talk with her. Not sure if this is any consolation, but apparently it's a common thing. I've seen it posted about in the Birth Professionals forum. Apparently many MWs can seem 'spacey' even though they really are competent when it counts. Although I can totally understand how it would be difficult to have confidence in her reliability in that case!
MegBoz is offline  
#8 of 11 Old 09-27-2010, 08:21 PM
smeep's Avatar
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 2,774
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
My midwife's nonchalant attitude confused me at first but when it comes down to important things she knows how to get down to business. I'm on my third pregnancy (second birth) with her.

Right now I'm 20 weeks and thus far she pretty much does weight check, blood pressure, measurements and doppler. We did some bloodwork (I turned down the serum test and it's related ultrasound) and we also did a pap in the beginning because it had been a while and we were doing general STD testing anyway, so I was totally on board with it. But now it's just pretty much weight check, blood pressure, measurements and doppler. Later on she will start doing other things like urine check, offer GBS and GD tests when the time comes up, etc., but they're pretty much useless right now without any specific concerns so she doesn't see the point in wasting the time and energy unless I specifically request it or we have concerns. The most important thing she does, though, is she talks with me. She asks me how I'm doing emotionally and physically. DP became a total UAV between the last appointment and the one prior to that so we spent almost the entire last appointment discussing that and what my plans are (currently jobless, staying with a friend, was extremely close to moving to another state). That, to me, is WAY more important than doing a bunch of medical stuff that isn't immediately relevant or necessary.

- E . Single mom to DS  E (15.12.05),  T (reincarnated 18.04.08) and DD   A (11.02.11) and  Hoppy      
smeep is offline  
#9 of 11 Old 09-28-2010, 05:53 AM
ARG2003's Avatar
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 37
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Mine gives me the option to pee on the stick and weigh myself. I usually have to pee, so I use the stick and tell her how it looks.

Then we sit down and talk, asks how we are doing, etc. We chat about whatever comes up. She offers whatever prenatal testing normally comes up at that stage of pregnancy. We chat about the pros and cons and then decide whether or not we want to do them.

Then I go lay on the massage table and she does a Mayan Abdominal massage for a while, works out kinks and whatnot. Shows my hubby what to rub and how to do it. We listen to the baby on the doppler or scope.

Then she checks my blood pressure and we make another appointment. It is very low-key but takes an hour or more. We are definitely building a relationship.

Aimee wife to Matt Mama to Asher (4) and Ari (Due 11/6/10)
ARG2003 is offline  
#10 of 11 Old 09-28-2010, 08:52 AM
rubygirl36's Avatar
Join Date: May 2010
Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 54
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Originally Posted by ARG2003 View Post
Then I go lay on the massage table and she does a Mayan Abdominal massage for a while, works out kinks and whatnot.
i love this massage! i got one b/c i'm starting ttc. now i do it on myself. love love love.

~ alison
me and my girl looking for a little luck to conceive and homebirth our first.
rubygirl36 is offline  
#11 of 11 Old 09-29-2010, 12:06 PM
MiaMama's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Originally Posted by ARG2003 View Post
...It is very low-key but takes an hour or more. We are definitely building a relationship.
This. Mine didn't DO much of anything except check the baby's HB. When my fundal height was abnormally low, I told HER about it and went to get an US to check it out. It was a false alarm, but I had a history which made it scary.

But when it came time to birth, she came through. She still did almost nothing (just the way I wanted it). But my contractions didn't get closer than 7 min apart until I started pushing, and babe was born 20 min later. If I had been planning on the hospital, my baby would have been born in the car, but my midwife knew me and knew what was up even though I didn't have the "classic" signs (emotional, contraction frequency, etc..) to indicate imminent birth. That, and her ability to ease my fears and anxiety with the right words at the right time made my birth wonderful!
MiaMama is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 13,941

147 members and 13,794 guests
1babysmom , A108 , abelitz , Ajbaby , autumngrey , bananabee , blissful_maia , boater , captainkitty2 , catladymeow , chickabiddy , chknlovr , cini , Crazybean , Crimson8 , crittersmom , CrunchyCanuck , Daffodil , Daisy8s , Dakotacakes , dani2015 , Dawn's mom , dbsam , Deborah , eclipse , Emanresu , emmy526 , Eris , etsdtm99 , forestfoster , frugalmama , fruitfulmomma , funfunkyfantastic , FyerFly , girlie1125 , greenemami , Hannah32 , here we are , HillbillyHarmony , ian'smommaya , Iron Princess , itybitywity , JamieCatheryn , japonica , JennyT , JMalik , jodieanneanton , jojobean , justmama , Kate&Joey , katelove , Katherine73 , kathymuggle , katydid5 , kitchensqueen , kyradark333 , lauradbg , lightheartedmom , lilacvioletiris , lilgreen , lilmissgiggles , LiLStar , Linda on the move , loba , mama24-7 , mamabear0314 , mamadee17 , mandamamma , marilyn612 , marziechar , mckittre , MegaMama1 , Milk8shake , Mirzam , missmink , MissMuffet , mommyhood , MulberryMom , Mylie , MylittleTiger , NaturallyKait , new-wifey , newlywaaz , nwlove , oaksie68 , Olivia Tse , philomom , Polliwog , prosciencemum , quantumleap , Ragana , rainydaywoman , Ratchet , rcb215 , RollerCoasterMama , RosemaryV , rubelin , samaxtics , SandiMae , sarafl , seap3 , Shannonroth , shantimama , siennaflower , Smokering , sofreshsoclean , SplashingPuddle , Springshowers , stardogs , starlein26 , SummerStorm22 , suvisade , SuzieSmiles , Sweetfolly , Taximom5 , Teles , thtr4me , tomsmom31 , TrishWSU , Turner58800 , typebug , Viola P , WantRice , wassernixe , Wild Lupine , Wild Rose , witchygrrl , xixstar
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.