Resident doctor interested in learning about HB and wants to observe mine...this could change the climate of HB in my area...thoughts? *UPDATE!* - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 07:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, so my midwife approached me yesterday...her liason at the hospital (a family doctor friend of hers, who calls the on duty OB in case of transfers) knows a resident who is very interested in learning more about homebirth. This resident wants to attend a few, and my midwife asked me, as I am due any day now.

She is a woman, who would only be there to observe, and would basically just be sitting there in the background the whole time. She would want to meet me beforehand, so in the next few days.

Would you allow this? We live in a pretty anti-HB area, but there are more and more people doing them, and I think the tone is beginning to change little by little. The hospitals around here, while *good* on paper, are SO c-section friendly, and not conducive to anything close to natural birth. Maybe this could be the beginnings of change? This resident works at the largest one in this area with the biggest c-section rate and known disapproval of anything un-medical.

I am not a super private person so one more person seeing my vag isn't a big deal lol. My house is kind of small, but I don't care about that.

Thoughts?

*UPDATE*

So I met her- she came over for coffee tonight- sooo sweet! We chatted for an hour and a half. Totally wants to learn, kind of shy, and wants nothing more than to observe She asked what she could do if anything, and I said video and take pics! I am kind of excited to have a designated person to do that because somehow everyone else always gets too busy! So I am pretty stoked!

Amy, mommy to Ava, 6, Gavin, 4, Lila, 2, and Baby #4 due in early November! joy.gif
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#2 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 07:59 AM
 
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I would do it! In fact, I did do the very same thing, years ago. I can't say it changed the attitude toward hb, but it was a good experience for all. Later, the doc jokingly bragged that he'd had a 'very important role to play'--he took initiative and turned off the fan that was directed at me during that hot day of labor, just as baby was being born--so baby wouldn't get cold. I was quite happy to let him have that point
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#3 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 08:24 AM
 
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I know an l&d nurse who became a mw after observing a women's hb. You should do it (if you're not inhibited by the person being at your birth).

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#4 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 09:56 AM
 
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If you are down with it and if this resident is nice and you are comfortable then I would go for it! It is sooooo nice to have doctors out there who have an idea of what a homebirth is actually like.

Erika, mama to three beautiful kids (plus one gestating), and wife to one fantastic man.

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#5 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 09:58 AM
 
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Go meet her first. If the vibe is good (and it sounds like it would be) then I would totally do it! The more people that can learn about NATURAL birth the better! You might be blessing hundreds of women (his future practice) by doing this.

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#6 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 10:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
Go meet her first. If the vibe is good (and it sounds like it would be) then I would totally do it! The more people that can learn about NATURAL birth the better! You might be blessing hundreds of women (his future practice) by doing this.


Meet her first and if you feel that it would not be a distraction or a hindrance then I would go for it. I would make sure to establish some boundaries before hand though

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world. *
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#7 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 10:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, I think I will meet her beforehand. And my midwife already assured me that it would be just like she wasn't there- literally just sitting back and watching. I would NOT be cool with her participating in any way. I think if all goes as planned this could indeed be a major blessing for hundreds of future women (unless of course something goes wrong and shes turned off from natural birth forever!) Hopefully that won't happen though

Amy, mommy to Ava, 6, Gavin, 4, Lila, 2, and Baby #4 due in early November! joy.gif
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#8 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 10:31 AM
 
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I would meet her first, and if it seems like it would work, go for it! With the expectation of course that if she is annoying you can kick her out
But yeah, I would do it as a teaching experience for sure.

Em, married to Alex, mom to Samantha (11 yrs) and Cullen (5yrs) and Maybe (5/16/2010) Trying to grow 4,000lbs of produce on .2 acres. See my blog!
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#9 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 11:15 AM
 
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Interesting! I think I would totally do this. I'm just up the road from you in Bethlehem, so I know what you mean about the local hospitals looking good on paper but failing in reality. I'm planning a home birth with Laurice D. in January and I think it would be sort of cool to be used as an example for a potentially open-minded doc. Of course, she'd have to know that I would kick her right the heck out of my house if she was annoying me :P


 
 
 
 

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#10 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 11:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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macandcheese! Are you a part of the ecomoms here in the LV? If not you should be!

http://www.meetup.com/Lehigh-Valley-EcoMoms

Amy, mommy to Ava, 6, Gavin, 4, Lila, 2, and Baby #4 due in early November! joy.gif
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#11 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 03:20 PM
 
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I definitely would! Especially a doctor, what a great opportunity. I hope she learns to respect the natural process, because you never know where a new revolution starts =)

MsBlack, thats hilarious that that doc was so proud of himself for turning off the fan...that made me giggle

T -- CD, HB, AP mother to Elijah (5) and Jeremiah (3) with Baby #3 due on Nov 15!
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#12 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 03:33 PM
 
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i would if you click with her or get a good feeling.

you could also suggest that she watch business of being born or orgasmic birth or both before coming- just so that she is familiar with what she is walking in to.


i am a nurse and I think a lot of doctors would have a hard time just sitting by... especially if they think something is going wrong. so I would REALLY want to make sure they are aware and prepared that homebirthing looks NOTHING like a hospital birth.

~jen~ )O( mama to k 07/05 o 5/08 and c 12/09
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#13 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 03:34 PM
 
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i hope you do it - we need more HB friendly OBs in PA.
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#14 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 03:37 PM
 
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I'm having a twin homebirth and would still allow it. But when you meet her for the first time I would specify requirements you have. That she is to be hands off. Sit back and hang out what have you and take queues from the midwife.

If we end up delivering at the hospital one of the newer OB's to my group of docs is going to maybe come in on her day off to see a twin vaginal birth with a potential breech vaginal (little boy can't make up his mind).

I think the way to create change is to be open about things and share your experiences. The only way things may change is if they see what REALLY goes on. Many OB's still don't get that midwives carry medical equipment with them so this may be very eye opening for her. Although in the event of a transfer it may also show them how a respectable transfer goes, or in the event of something crazy an extra set of hands around is never a bad thing.

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#15 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 03:42 PM
 
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Well, maybe I'm not qualified to comment as I've, unfortunately, never had a homebirth. However, I would totally go for it, as long as you get a good feeling when you meet her. I would just make sure she knew she was expected to only observe (barring a true emergency and being asked for assistance by your mw) and that if you need/want her to leave at any time that she would respect that (like if your labor is stalling and you want as few people in the room as possible or something). It would be nice to have more obs and doctors who work in hospitals to be familiar with natural child birth. Who knows? She might end up being a great OB who supports natural birth and can help women acheive it even when they have to deliver in a hospital - and you would have helped make that happen!
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#16 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 03:42 PM
 
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I would do it. You have two HBs under your belt, right? So it's the perfect way for her to see a mom that knows what she's doing. That's awesome that she's going to a HB to see how it's done.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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#17 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 05:49 PM
 
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I'd do it.

In addition to all the other reasons mentioned, I would think that being observed would cause your MW to give you the best possible care she could wring out of herself. A sort of guarantee.

Leigh, mama to Rostislav homeborn Aug 9 2007, and Oksana homeborn Feb 24 2011.
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#18 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 06:27 PM
 
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I am not very modest either, but I'm REALLY not trying to have more than DH, my mom (an MD), a MW and MAYBE a backup/apprentice at my HB.

But I'd still do it!

As long as she were very, very hands-off and respectful, and yes, I would appreciate meeting her beforehand.
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#19 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 07:19 PM
 
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I just want to point out that residents don't have much clout on the hospital totem pole, so she's probably not going to single handedly change the hospital's stance on natural birth even if she becomes a total convert. If you want an out, there it is That said, if you want to do it, go for it. My friend is a second year med student and they watched the Business of Being Born last year!! baby steps...

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#20 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 08:09 PM
 
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I'd do it if I felt okay about her after meeting her, and with very strict boundaries in place. I wouldn't want her to interfere in any way and I would reserve the right to kick her out at any time, no matter what. If she could respect those requirements, I'd probably be okay with letting her observe.

Doctors are a big part of the problem with American birthing culture. Doctors are the people we need to reach most. I'm a very private birther but this would be a worthwhile sacrifice if the person were respectful and willing to learn.

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#21 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 08:59 PM
 
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i birth very privately, however a woman, who i got along with, would be welcome i think. i would need to hang out with her a lot before the birth so that i felt more like friends not that she is an observer.
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#22 of 33 Old 10-19-2010, 09:25 PM
 
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residents don't have much clout, but if it gives her a favorable view of natural birth, and she takes that with her into her mature practice, she could have the potential to impact all the women in her care, and that seems worth it to me.

Marissa, Partner to J geek.gif, SAHM to A (05/09)fly-by-nursing1.gif and I (03/11)stork-boy.gif. we cd.gif
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#23 of 33 Old 10-20-2010, 03:32 AM
 
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Yeah to what everyone has said. I agree. Do it.

More importantly, though, () this has to be one of the most awesome quotes I've read in a long time:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amila View Post
I am not a super private person so one more person seeing my vag isn't a big deal lol.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! That was great.

Angela -- mama to Jack (11/03), Adeline (6/06), Ella (11/08), and William (1/11). Accredited Leader: Attachment Parenting International of Orange County.h20homebirth.giffly-by-nursing2.gif homeschool.gif
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#24 of 33 Old 10-20-2010, 10:38 PM
 
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I think that's pretty awesome!

But I'd second encouraging her to watch a movie like the pp mentioned if she's never seen a hb. Just so she's not too shocked!

Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...

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#25 of 33 Old 10-20-2010, 11:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She has seen the business of being born, as well as some other midwife attended births on video- just never a homebirth in reality

Amy, mommy to Ava, 6, Gavin, 4, Lila, 2, and Baby #4 due in early November! joy.gif
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#26 of 33 Old 10-25-2010, 03:30 AM
 
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That's awesome! I'm glad you'll be able to do it.

My best friend since childhood is a med student in her first year of med school. She's very pro-natural birth yet has never seen one and likely never will (at least in school). If the timing works out and she can come (given that baby is due in the middle of the semester and she's an hour away), I will be inviting her to the birth just so she can witness a truly natural birth. The more med students, residents, and doctors who see what it's REALLY like, the better!

HeatherB ~ mama to 3 wonderful boys:  reading.gif 03/02; modifiedartist.gif09/04; sleepytime.gif 09/07 - and Eliana, babygirl.gif 11/13/10!  
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#27 of 33 Old 10-25-2010, 10:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sooo I had my baby, and she was there! It was GREAT! I had an wonderful, textbook homebirth, and I am so glad she was there to witness it! She videoed, and helped the midwife with a few things (like helping her draw cord blood). Midwife's assistant was sick, so I said I was ok with her helping out a little bit. She was simply AMAZED and had never seen anything close to a natural birth. So, overall, it was GREAT!!!

Amy, mommy to Ava, 6, Gavin, 4, Lila, 2, and Baby #4 due in early November! joy.gif
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#28 of 33 Old 10-25-2010, 12:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amila View Post
Sooo I had my baby, and she was there! It was GREAT! I had an wonderful, textbook homebirth, and I am so glad she was there to witness it! She videoed, and helped the midwife with a few things (like helping her draw cord blood). Midwife's assistant was sick, so I said I was ok with her helping out a little bit. She was simply AMAZED and had never seen anything close to a natural birth. So, overall, it was GREAT!!!
Congrats on your baby and gald everything went ok!

I liked my back up OB and some of the nurses at my local clinic. If they would have wanted to come to my homebirth they would have been welcome!

~Attatchment and Natural Parent from instincts not from books to my 2 boys~ Childbirth Educator & Placental Encapsulation Professional
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#29 of 33 Old 10-25-2010, 04:02 PM
 
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That is WONDERFUL! I am so happy for all of you! Welcome, precious baby!

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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#30 of 33 Old 10-25-2010, 05:18 PM
 
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Awesome! You were very generous to provide her with what may be, a once in a lifetime opportunity for her. The more normal birth she sees the better, I'm glad everything went so smoothly for you, woohoo!

Christian SAHM & birth doula.
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