When I had my second (in the hospital) my first was only 1-1/2, and we were separated for only one night. I was gone from about bedtimeish to about mid-morning and my mom coslept with him that night. He loves Nana and did "fine." But even so, it deep-down sucked for both of us, and I did not want to do that again - now at 5-3/4 that is still the only night we've been separated, and I've never spent a night away from my other two. It was a factor in our deciding to homebirth #3, and my mom and sister came to amuse and supervise my first two kids while I birthed that time. Both boys were in the room watching when I pushed their sister out. They were 4 years 1 month, and 2 years 8 months at that time. This time mine will be almost-6, 4-1/2, and 1-1/2.
If you're thinking of having someone come and get your daughter, I'd think you could potentially have that someone just stay and quietly amuse her at your house so you don't have to be separated...that is what I will be doing anyway. HTH.
I'm not planning on an UC this time, but am at 36 weeks and had really bizarre feelings/symptoms in my cervix last night. Painful, almost stretchy feelings, half of them while the baby was moving like it hasn't moved before (really very active overall).
I've made quite a big deal that I know when I conceived (to buy myself time as I have had a feeling that baby would be late), so I can't just tell the midwives "oh no I goofed, I'm 37 weeks" if I go into labor this week.
So...is 36 really that different, different enough that I would really really NEED to go to the hospital, than 37 weeks (when the midwives would attend the homebirth)?
Anyone have any words of advice for me? Those were some strange feelings, and baby's been bopping me in the cervix for a couple months now...:
I am 30 + weeks now and starting to feel more twinges and bumps in the vaginal/cervical/rectal area but they are milder in comparison to the almost disconcerting, sometimes electrical feelings that in retrospect were things warming up.
In any case, the important difference is lung maturity. 36 weeks is considered iffy -- baby might have trouble, but might be fine.
As for what you're feeling -- it doesn't mean that labor is necessarily going to start. If you're not having contractions, you're probably okay. But if you are, here's some information about perterm labor that you might find helpful --
Sort of like in the ridiculous Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy where she says to have the first baby in a hospital then do whatever for the subsequent births...for me it's first baby with midwives then whatever for the next ones.
If it happens it happens, though. IF I'm not concerned about "prematurity", that is. Which I vaguely am right now. Vaguely.
Since I'm clear on the conception date (makes the due "date" a couple days later than LMP shows) I'm just trying to figure out what the diff is between 36/37, if UCers would be cool with a 36 week birth or if even they/you might consider being at a hospital (unlikely I imagine but I have to ask), that kind of thing.
Interesting thing about baby's lungs...I developed asthma right as I started the second tri, and occasionally use my inhalers of albuterol (ugh, might as well have speed) and flovent, a steroid. I went for my follow up appt to get some peace with taking a steroid, and the D.O. said "well it won't affect the baby, but you'll know its lungs will be mature!"
So somehow affecting the lungs, even in a "positive" manner, isn't affecting the baby's growth. Sigh, even D.O.s make no sense sometimes...I rarely take the inhalers anymore after that conversation.
I was reading a birth story on a UC website yesterday and she had her baby at 34?weeks and the baby was pretty much OK...so I guess my worries about 36/37 might be a bit silly. :
But if anyone has any more input/thoughts I'd love to hear them!
"In some cases, though, it's a matter of the law and what is healthy doesn't even come into it."
Exactly. All the midwives that I interviewed were very clear on the 37 to 42 week "standard of care" in WA state. Since I was so sure I was going to go truly late (hubby was a 44 week'er) I mainly made sure I hired people who wouldn't freak out if I went beyond 42 weeks...that's how I went from a birthing center (for the big tub) to home, because in WA, centers are NOT allowed to go beyond 42 weeks (or before 37).
I also mentioned to all the midwives that my ideal for birth would be a cabin in the woods with wolves howling in the background (and that it is ONLY some remnants of fear keeping me from that), and those who didn't look like the "dropjaw" emoticon were considered.
So I don't think the midwives I hired would be surprised if I went it alone, if they were legally NOT allowed to be here, but I personally want to feel OK that baby would likely be healthy.
If I didn't feel that way, it's not the absolute end of the world, as I did interview the midwife group that practices out of a really nice hospital 'round here, and could call the midwife I consulted with there to smooth the way.
But since I cried for 2 days even thinking about planning a hospital birth, I am not sure it's the way to go unless I'm convinced baby would have troubles due to being "premature", if what was going on last night continues AND develops contractions (there were contractions early in the day, then they stopped and the cervix stuff started in earnest, but they didn't happen together).
Found this on the site blueviolet mentioned:
"I think it's very important to appreciate that some human genes consider 37 or 38 weeks to be full term. In particular, I notice that my Asian clients often have babies come 2 or 3 weeks early, weighing 8-10 pounds. So if an Asian client carrying a good sized baby went into labor at 36 weeks, I wouldn't be all that concerned."
I'm not Asian, but hubby is, and baby is part Asian, so I wonder if this could apply to the baby. Hmm....
That's on the "Homebirth at 36 Weeks" link, but it's really 35 weeks and 5 days, which is a week before me. : Argh.
I wouldn't worry, because my babies are usually big, so I wouldn't be worried about low birth weight. I realize that lung maturity is seperate from birth weight, but it seems to me, that if baby doesn't have to work as hard to maintain body temperature because of size, more oxygen is available for other functions, so perhaps less problems with the lung maturity. Of course, if I saw any breathing issues with my baby after birth, I would definitely seek medical opinion if I felt it was warranted.
Anyway, just my 2 cents.
Thanks for all your help. I'm thinking things have calmed down, and the midwives gave me some ideas and the order to page them if it starts back up. Of course, if it's before they are allowed to be here, I'll still have the decision to make!
I just realized, if my mom were still alive (died March of '00) I'd have ZERO problems going unassisted (would she count as assistance by being here as moral support?), in a cabin with wolves howling. But her absence for this first baby leaves a hole that filled with fear.
That's probably why I'm going with midwives this time.
Thanks again ladies!
This came up for me because I had a prenatal visit with one of the other midwives yesterday and we spoke about the date thing. At 41 weeks their backup wants biophysicals every two days; they give herbs and castor oil; at 42 weeks the law says they're not my midwives anymore. I also do not like their backup physician at all, having met him once two years ago, and the mw I saw yesterday mentioned at x weeks one has to see him. This made me kind of tense the rest of the day, this visit. Before I was able to sleep I had to think out a new set of plans-remind myself "they" can't do anything to me. Decide I simply won't go see the backup physician. I don't like him and won't use him. I would only be referred to him for a non-emergency anyway; I live far enough away that in an emergency I would just go to the ER and deal with that. So if there were a non-emergency I would have to choose a new provider anyway (or not). I also won't do anything like biophysicals at 41 weeks or take herbs or anything, and if that means I lose my midwife oh well. I also won't have a hospital birth if the baby is breech. I would either go to the Farm as fast as I could or stay home.
Speaking of which, are there any breech UC folks here?
We had a shoulder dystocia UC in the neighborhood last year (and on another recent topic this couple is having trouble proving their baby is theirs now, without a birth cert!), too.
The frustrating thing is that if I go into labor at 35 + weeks I would also be very hesitant to go to the hospital. It doesn't seem likely after a big early baby that another early baby would have problems, and in hospital one will be fighting them off, trying to keep the baby out of NICU and-well, the hospitals here are terrible. What is frustrating is my midwife, my healthcare provider, may not necessarily be answering my question honestly, if I ask if I really must go to the hospital. In today's litigious climate it is impossible to expect an honest answer from anyone who might themselves be at even a remote risk.
Yep. That's why I'm not asking these questions of my midwife, b/c I doubt she'd be able to answer them fully. And, even though my stepmom is hypothetically a great source of information (she's a neonatal nurse), her own prejudices get in the way and she'd likely fly up here and drag me to the hospital if I even mentioned a 36 week homebirth to her.
Wow, Liz, they want to do biophysicals at 41 weeks? Haven't they done their research? Crazy.
It was fast, so I'm pleased that what I was feeling with all that early labor wasn't my imagination. Contractions never did did any more difficult, or longer...just closer together. As soon as Grandma picked up the older children..and I mean the SECOND the last little pair of feet was through the doorway labor went from "probably it" to "wow that feels like a head moving down?" it was only about 2hrs since dh got called home from work with a "maybe" to where we were trying to figure out if it you were supposed to push the placenta out or just wait. After birth was great, but the birth itself was rather difficult. I've never had anything but backlabor before so feeling contractions across my abdomen was VERY challenging to me. the funny thing was that WHISTELING helped tremendously I followed my instincts and did everything opposite of what the childbirth educators say..there was NO relaxing, I couldn't sit or lean.. forget about lying down. just stand and let the contractions wash over me...
thankfully he was here by dinnertime, we wrapped him up and ordered a pizza and I'm still wondering what the big deal was all about?! It was wonderfully straight forward. Ben was heavenly! I can't even express how great. Just there and strong and manly-smelling. I was out of my head by the end, felt like I had the flu, fevered and dizzy and speaking gibberish. Completely rational inside though and laughing at the situation. Ben would say things like "its a good thing I speak mumble" and hand me a drink when I "asked" for one.
Elias is a real peanut, though...only 7bs 4oz when we took him to the clinic for a cursory check-over (he was 16hrs old then). He is ONLY 18in long!! My last son was a full 23 3/4!! I'm trying not to feel guilty about it. God must have had to keep him small to answer my prayers for a QUICK birth where all my last it's been push by push this baby nearly fell out after one. I was doing my best not to push at all, until he was crowning.
Feeling like myself today, I had a hormonal crash yesterday but the milk is here now and the happy hormones with it. He's getting cheeck already. Ben will be downloading some pictures today, so hopefully I'll have some to share by tonight!!
GEEZE I had forgotten the voracious hunger that comes along with nursing!!
Happy gestating to the rest of you
mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13
love and light
(I'm quoting myself LOL)
"Perfect UC experience. I even orgasmed as she was coming out. LOL
I was all alone...the house slept. She was born Sunday, 4/11/04 at 5:10am. She was 8 lbs. 8 oz. and 21 inchs long. I birthed the placenta an hour after she joined this side, and our labor was only about 4 hours long.
It was all very wonderful. I as able to get over myself a few times and really feel happy and "pain-free" during parts of the labor. At one point, I caught myself smiling and feeling very happy...then, became self-concious and all the bliss kinda went away (and the "pain" came back). LOL
That's what happens when you live in your head too much, I guess.
Baby is content and nurses well. Eliminating wonderfully. I'm just able to sit on anything other than my bed (with the aid of a doughnut). LOL I'm healing rather well. "
andrea88 -- UC 8/03 story
Whit -- UC 11/03 story
2much2luv -- UC 1/04
thechrysalis -- UC 1/04 story
Mothernature -- UC 1/04 story
indigolilybear -- UC 3/04 pics
citizenfong -- UC 3/04 pics
Carrieanders -- UC 4/04 7 lb. 4 oz.
Chaka Falls -- UC 4/04 8 lb. 8 oz.
bookwormmama -- May/June
ChildoftheMoon -- mid July
Mamajaza -- mid summer
wildthing -- June
Hathor -- June/July
amyamanda -- May
JesseMomme -- August
violet -- August/September
Karenpl -- late May, early June
madrone -- August
blueviolet -- late September
So looks like there are a few of us due in late may or early june, i can't wait!!
I'm getting really impatient. I have about 6 weeks to go. Got almost everything all set up, just have to wash the kiddie pool out and i'm good to go. Oh yeah, and get some herbs ready. I suppose i'd better get cracking on that!
How's everyone else doing?
mother of invention, currently raising hell with four great kids, dd, 15, ds, 15, ds, 11 and ds, 8. also gestating a new wee one! due 9/29
Sue, I am due sometime in June. I am around 32 weeks. Sometimes I get impatient, and other times I think of all I want to accomplish before then, and I get a little wigged out! :
Thank you blueviolet for putting the roll call together. Perhaps whoever starts the next thread could paste it in the first post.......
The third trimester has finally begun for me. I am still energetic, but am feeling my body slowing down at the end of the day. I think my morning walks have really helped with my energy level, especially mentally. A half hour with just my own mind! My belly finally had a growth spurt. I was measuring small and now I am right on. My allergies have been not as bad either, so that is a relief. I have been looking at my birth supply list lately so I figure I will be doing some shopping soon. I don't need too much, didn't use much with the last two births. I have decided to get my own tub and to not depend too much on my midwife. I ended up ordering my own stuff for allergies after she didn't show up with them and then went out of town. She is nice and all, just does not seem to remember things. I figure I will see her one more time and if I feel like it and then call it quits. She knows my plans, so no worries for her. I am feeling really good lately. Full of pregnant bliss. I got to hold a two week old baby girl today. So tiny! I had forgotten. Though, mine were about 2 and 3 pounds bigger at birth than this babe. I have started feeling bh contractions, don't remember having too many with my girls. Off to get them ready for bed.
Hope everyone is well and happy!
mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13
love and light
blueviolet, thanks for putting together the roll call. Yikes, I had no idea I was up next! I'm 36 weeks and yo-yoing back and forth between thinking I have TONS of time left before this baby arrives, and realizing with a shock that time is actually speeding by in a blur. My last one came a few days early, the one before that came a full week early, so we'll see what happens this time.
I am enjoying many aspects of being pregnant, I always do, even with the less-fun parts of it. I'm not in a hurry to be done, I'd rather have the baby come when s/he is ready even if I'm ready sooner. But at the same time, this is my first pregnancy where I am really looking forward to being NOT pregnant, too. (I'm tired of being tired, and I'm sick of never wanting to eat ANYTHING which is a pregnancy symptom I have struggled with every time, and I'm getting a little tired of bumping into doorways!). I have been pregnant for three out of the past six years. I think I'm hitting saturation finally. Still not sure if this will be our last one or not.
I am absolutely LOVING having an unassisted pregnancy. I can't even describe how surprisingly wonderful it has been for me... (but I think many of you will understand what I am feeling). I feel so in tune with this baby, and so confident in myself. It's truly miraculous given how shot my confidence was after my first birth.
I got the birth certificate form from the state vital records office yesterday. I am glad I called in advance to get them. (When my DD was born at home with a midwife, in a different state, it was a HUGE six-month runaround to get her a birth certificate.) They wanted to send a public health nurse out with the forms after the birth to "help me fill them out." Um, no, thanks. Thankfully once I talked with the head superviser she was willing to send the info directly to me. It's a straightforward, one-page form, and we'll just complete it and send it in. I was pleased to see that among the options for "primary birth attendant" and "birth certifier" you can choose "family member."
That's about it here - nesting like crazy, trying to stay awake during the day (and sleep at night!), and just continuing to grow this little babe!