UC support thread #3 (March 30- April) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 01:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thought I would get us started again

uc thread 2

uc thread #1

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#2 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So who is due next? I am due mid-July, so still have some time to wait. I believe this baby is transverse right now and I am measuring a little behind, but all is well. I have been starving so I think baby is getting ready for a big growth spurt! If anyone recalls my midwife worries, they were all for not. I talked to her yesterday and she is all for whatever we want. I am so relieved because I would like to see her for a post partem visit and a visit or two before the birth if I cannot figure out how this baby is positioned. I had not realized how laid back she truly is! She is also going to lend me one of her fishy pools so I don't have to purchase one myself. Hope everyone is well!

Has anyone heard anything from Tracy (citizenfong)? I have lost track of her!

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#3 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 01:38 PM
 
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Yay, new thread~~

I want to ask you guys when do you start getting worried about your baby's position??? This little one *really* likes to be butt down. I'm 26 weeks along. I know, I still have lots of time to go, but I'm pretty sure my first born was head down by now....... Have you heard of people giving birth vaginally to breech babies UC? Is it more painful?

Oh gawd, I hope this baby doesn't stay breech.
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#4 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 01:40 PM
 
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Citizenfrog had her baby right at 43 weeks. He was 11 lbs!!!
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#5 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 01:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah Tracy!

I am not sure about position, I am just thinking about it myself. Both my girls were head down and stayed that way from early on. I hade read breech uc stories. I myself am worried about one (I make BIG babies). There are many things you can do to encourage. Here are a couple links.

breech

breech search

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#6 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 01:55 PM
 
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Thanks for starting a new thread Brandi! 11 pages...WHEW!!!!!

I am not going to worry about breech position until I am in labor, and maybe not even then. I will be 30 weeks Thursday, and my baby flips around quite a bit. I usuall have big babies, around 10 pounds or more. My babies have also been breech up to 38 weeks in past pregnancies, and they have always flipped. My midwife told me, "If you can give birth to a 10 pound baby head first, you can certainly do it breech." And yes, I have heard of many people giving birth UC to a breech birth. Check out Laura Shanley's site...one of her babies was breech.

Congratulations Tracy!!!!! Welcome little one!
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#7 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 02:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you Donna, that is comforting to know. My babes were 9+ and 10+. I will trust my body. I have had to unlearn some things this pregnancy, as it has caused me to worry too much:

Hooray for 30 weeks! You are moving right along

It started pouring down rain, so I guess I won't be going for my walk today. I have been walking two miles a day and it has made me feel so good! Today will be a good sewing day, I finally finished making curtains for my entire house, so now I can make something fun.

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#8 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 03:07 PM
 
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Congratulations, citizenfrog!!

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#9 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 04:27 PM
 
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Thank-you Childofthemoon for providing those links!
My first baby was 8 and a half pounds, and I had NO problem getting her out. I think that even if this baby is 9 lbs.+ I would still be able to give birth to a breech. I just never thought that it could happen to me. :
It was good to read that water birth could be the life-saving thing, if I was to have a breech with it's head stuck. I laboured last time almost exclusively in water, and plan to this time too.

I guess I should really start worrying at 38 weeks??? I wonder if I could turn the baby myself?
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#10 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 05:25 PM
 
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Hi Mamajaza -- I read in "Childbirth Wisdom" that you can turn a baby by massaging it. But I also read Laura Shanley's birth experiences and, as Wildthing said, she had a breech baby and another baby who came out feet first. Both were healthy and safe labors. (I believe laboring in a standing squat is the best for breech babies.)
If you are still concerned about turning your baby, I've also read about "suggesting" to your baby that he/she change position and visualize it as well.

Congrats Citizenfong!!

ChildoftheMoon -- I'm also in the process of "unlearning" many concepts about pregnancy and childbirth. Thanks in large part to this thread and the resources you women have provided, I'm learning that my body, my baby, and my intuition are the TRUE experts. What an incredible freedom! I'm LOVING this journey!

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#11 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 05:59 PM
 
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I have been visualizing the baby with it's head down, then "he" kicks me on the side. He is either transverse, or breech, all the time. It seems like he has no desire to be "upsidedown".

I have a feeling that part of his insistance on not going "the right way" is because I've not had a great relationship with the baby's father. He absolutely wants to be at the birth, but the last time I saw him was in january, and I left on BAD terms.: He lives 9 hours away, and he was supposed to come for a visit between now and the birth. But now he can't cause he's got $$ problems. So as of now, the next time I see him will be at the freakin' birth or a few days before! I think that is way unfair. We need to have a posative meeting before the "big day". I think. Do you think that is too much to ask? He sure does. Sorry, I just had to vent a little bit there.:
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#12 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 08:28 PM
 
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yay! congrats to citizenfong!

personally, i don't think i'll be concerned about my baby's position until *late* in pregnancy... as in, i'm in labor, something feels wrong and the position might have something to do with it. :-)

i've read enough stories of babies turning very late in the pregnancy or during labor, and stories of unassisted breech births to make me comfortable with taking a wait-and-see attitude.

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#13 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 08:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Childbirth Wisdom is a great book! I need to reread it soon, it has been a while.

Mamajaza-I am sorry about your continueing problems with the father, that is just not right! Wishing you calming head down thoughts

I am so happy to see this thread hopping again! Where is everyone else?

Brandi

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#14 of 150 Old 03-30-2004, 10:30 PM
 
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I think it's too early to start worrying about whether or not your baby will be breech. If you're really concerned about it, tell the baby you want him/her to be born head-first. I'm sure s/he'll comply.

I'm next to give birth, I think. Any day, now, but I think she won't come until April sometime.

*sigh*
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#15 of 150 Old 03-31-2004, 12:48 AM
 
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Mamajaza, you don't owe anybody your birth experience! Shoot, I love my husband and even he's not invited.

About the kicking -- I have always felt kicking predominately on one side. Never up by my ribs. And all of my babies have been head-down.
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#16 of 150 Old 03-31-2004, 01:19 PM
 
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blueviolet... So you're having your baby totally alone? Does your partner REALLY want to be there? My baby's father sure does. He thinks it's basically his RIGHT to be there. It's hard to say NO to someone like that.

My mom is going to be there, (because she lives upstairs), but she told me that she doesn't want to be there alone. I have few options. I don't know many people around here, as I just moved. And I'd want someone that I really knew well to be at the birth.

My mom also mentioned that because of his ambivilance in the beginning of the pregnancy, that seeing the child being born, it would make him more connected to it. He was right there at the first birth.

What are all of the rest of you planning on for your birth? Do you have a supportive partner or are you doing it alone or with a good friend? Are you going to labour in water?
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#17 of 150 Old 03-31-2004, 01:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Dh and my two dd will be there. It will depend on what time of day or night and how I feel at the time how it will play out. If it is the dead of night and I feel like it I may just go it alone. Dh wants me to do it how I want and he will be there for me.

I will have a fishy pool set up for possible water delivery. I had dd2 in the tub and loved that. I did not labor long in the water. I really liked being up and about, besides labor was quick so I don't think I entered the tub until transition. Will likely do the same thing again. Just going to do what I feel like at the time. Have a feeling it will be fast again so don't have many things planned. I do have some music that I want to have playing while in labor. I listened to Dead Can Dance last birth and it was such lovely music for the birth that I want it again for this birth. Maybe I will feel like doing some dancing this time .

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#18 of 150 Old 03-31-2004, 02:08 PM
 
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"blueviolet... So you're having your baby totally alone? Does your partner REALLY want to be there?"

Well, he really is outside of the experience to a certain extent, so it's not particularly compelling to him, it's just another bodily function. Now, meeting and holding the baby, that is something that is meangingful to him. Seeing me push the baby out is not. So he would be there as support for me if I wanted that, but he's not attached to the idea of being there himself.

From my side of it, he is superfluous. I'm by nature a solo birther, I don't want guidance, I don't want encouragement. So he's basically relegated to the role of observer, he's not inside it with me, so to some extent he is a distraction. Same with any private, creative act, like writing, or making some piece of art, or making music, meditation -- it's never been possible for me to go completely within when there's someone there simply watching me.

So nothing is set in stone, but I'm inclined to do it alone.

"My baby's father sure does. He thinks it's basically his RIGHT to be there."

I have to disagree. Yes, he has a right to see the baby, because the baby is partly his. But not your body, and not your experience of giving birth. Those things don't belong to him one bit. I think it really comes down to a simple question: do you want him there, for yourself?

"My mom is going to be there, (because she lives upstairs), but she told me that she doesn't want to be there alone. I have few options. I don't know many people around here, as I just moved. And I'd want someone that I really knew well to be at the birth."

In the end it's your choice, of course. But you shouldn't have to feel forced into anything because of *other* people's needs. You need to focus on your own. If having the baby's father there will be unpleasant for you, then he shouldn't be there. I understand your mom wanting support for herself, but surely she wouldn't demand that at your expense?

"My mom also mentioned that because of his ambivilance in the beginning of the pregnancy, that seeing the child being born, it would make him more connected to it."

I have known men to be at the baby's birth and then abandon the mother and baby, and I have seen men not be at the baby's birth and be totally devoted fathers. It is important for you and the baby to be together, because of the bonding hormones. But for him, the connection is going to have to be made in a different way. Does it really makes sense that that connection will depend on him seeing the baby exit your vagina?

"Are you going to labour in water?"

Probably! I found it really helpful last time. I did get out for the birth, though.
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#19 of 150 Old 03-31-2004, 05:44 PM
 
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You made some good points there, blueviolet. I wish that I had a partner who would really understand that it is my decision on those sort of things. He sees the baby as half his, which it is. I guess I will see how things go. I've always been *very* independant, so perhaps I don't really need anyone. But I don't want to be hiding it from my mother who lives upstairs and my baby's father, who is going to come to be with me before. And my little girl will be there for sure, unless she's sleeping soundly.

How refreshing that would be to have the baby *alone*. He would be mine and all mine~~ when I gave birth to my daughter, with a midwife, I said, she's perfect, she's so beautiful, like the midwife had just given her to me. If it really comes down to it, and I have to tell him not to come, he will be very upset, but he will get over it. Just like he did when I decided to keep the pregnancy.

Oh, well, I hope everyone else is doing great. I wonder how all the new, recent, UC moms are doing?
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#20 of 150 Old 03-31-2004, 07:51 PM
 
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Hi, just had to pop in and correct my mistake before the legend grows...

Our fish scale was wrong! Who would have guessed that a $5 scale from Wal-Mart could be wrong? :LOL Now that we know, we have recalculated retroactively and decided that the official weight was 8 lbx. 10 oz.

When dh first weighed ds and came up with almost 11 lbs. I didnt' believe him. FIL came up with the idea of weighing a 5 lb bag of flour to check the scale. Yep, 5 lbs. Then we took ds to the ped on Monday and he was weighed there. : We got home and tested 5lbs of flour AND 5 lbs of sugar and came up with 12 lbs.

Well, that explains why he didn't look big enough. Frankly, I'm just glad I'm not crazy (shouldn't these newborn clothes be too small? is my memory of ds #1 that dim? etc...)

Hoping to have a birth story to share soon. It went really great. The very best part was afterward when we all (had 2 friends over to help) looked at each other and said, "We're done. That's it. There's a baby! Huh. A couple of hours ago there was no baby here and now there is and now it's time for a nap!" Just so NORMAL!! And nobody took my baby away from me.

The other great thing I'm discovering is that it feels like we have a headstart compared to last time. We're not losing valuable early days with leftover crap from the hospital, catching up on learning to nurse, catching up on sleep, etc. It's been such a smooth transition so far.

Tracy, doula and Army wife and homeschooling mama to A and E
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#21 of 150 Old 03-31-2004, 09:12 PM
 
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citizenfrog~~ It's nice to see you back with us. So what did you name your little guy? Are you going to post a birth story? Hope you are having an awesome babymoon.:
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#22 of 150 Old 03-31-2004, 09:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah Tracy! Can't wait to hear your birth story! Glad to hear things went so smooth.

Brandi

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#23 of 150 Old 03-31-2004, 11:18 PM
 
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Citizenfong, CONGRATULATIONS! I am SO happy that it went well for you.
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#24 of 150 Old 04-01-2004, 11:23 AM
 
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Hi everyone,
I haven't posted in weeks but have been in lurker mode and I'm so glad to hear all of the wonderful birth stories. Yay! Mamas having babies!
I have had a fear set-back...my youngest dd swallowed a nickel and had a minor choking incident (lasted about 5 seconds) but I freaked. Really freaked over it. Then decided that I am just not capable of be in charge of the care of little beings.
I have now entered the third trimester which means that the protective optimistic hormonal high of last trimester is just gone. I also signed up with some uc list-serves that seem to love discussing complications, even though birth story after birth story ends up being fine.
And THEN I went to a LLL conference this weekend and ended up at a table next to a mama who had a uc birth go terribly wrong about 6 weeks ago. Unfortunately I was within listening distance and YIKES! How do I get back my confidence? Any ideas, or positive birthing vibes that you can send my way? Affirmations etc?
Thanks,
Heather
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#25 of 150 Old 04-01-2004, 11:51 AM
 
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Hi Hathor, I'm by no means experienced as I'm pregnant with my first while planning a uc. But I have MANY affirmations -- one that may work for you: "My baby and I are fully capable and deserving of a blissful, painless, and easy birth. "(Enter whatever words you want.) The "deserving" part has been a big one for me -- I think of what my family would think if they knew I was planning a uc, all their fears and admonishments. And part of me was thinking that maybe I don't "deserve" a healthy, safe birth since I'm keeping it from everyone. But now I know that is ridiculous. We create our own reality. My reasons for not telling anyone is a protective mechanism for my baby and my peace of mind. I also have another one "I choose faith instead of fear."
I repeat my affirmations first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and whenever else I think of it. I'm a big fan of Laura Shanley's and I believe her when she says that we can have any kind of birth experience we desire.
I hope this helps!

Kate

P.S. I have another one that always sends warm vibes when I say it: "I am open and receptive to any communication from my baby." I figure this is a good way to open up to any suggestions he/she may have about birth positioning, how to prepare, and how to relax.

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#26 of 150 Old 04-01-2004, 01:08 PM
 
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I’m here! A little update on me... I am almost 34 weeks and feeling great. I’m finding I have energy for nesting and then my body tells me AFTER the fact that I’ve done too much – I wish it would tell me DURING so I could stop and rest THEN before I overdo it. Oh, well. I'm having fun unpacking little tiny clothes and diapers, and finally - FINALLY - beginning to imagine our house with another little baby in it (this was an unexpected pregnancy and unlike my others it's taken me a really long time to get used to the idea).

Thankfully, all three of my children are now sleeping through the night. This is no small thing for me. My boys were still waking in need of reassurance just a few months ago, my oldest weaned in the early months of my pregnancy, and my second son has cut back dramatically to nursing maybe once a week. Much to my surprise, my toddler daughter self-night-weaned at 15 months - like a gift from heaven, she doesn't even need it to go to sleep anymore - I say this because my boys were still night-nursing at age three and my eldest was nursing to sleep still at age four, so I was not expecting her to cut back at this age. I haven't slept through the night in almost six years; I get up to use the bathroom two or three times a night and that is all, and it seems like an amazing thing to me. Fingers crossed that this new baby is not a high-needs one - I'm enjoying my sleep, and especially think it's fun that I'm dreaming again, which I never did when I was chronically sleep-deprived.

ChildoftheMoon – not sure who is due next in this group, but I’m due mid-May.

Mamajaza – My baby JUST turned head-down a few days ago. S/he was very happily transverse and/or head-in-the-ribs until then. This is baby #4 for me and if I remember right #3 was also persistently transverse until about 34-35 weeks. At some point just before this baby turned, I finally realized that I was being uncharacteristically nervous about the baby’s position – unusual especially because I have been SO totally relaxed about every other aspect of this pregnancy/birth. So I had a long talk with the baby and decided to trust him/her to pick the best position when s/he was ready. I think that was about a week ago, and I think my “letting go” was a factor in the baby turning.

How do I know the baby is head-down? I’m feeling some cervical stabbing and also feeling my pubic bones stretching in front. Guessing that is the head starting to make a cozy spot. What used to feel like a little bowling ball under my ribs (the head) now feels pointier and more oblong, with small parts attached to one side, so I’m sure that is that butt pointing up now.

Please keep in mind that head-down is not the whole story for good positioning. Simply having a head-down baby doesn’t mean your baby is in a good position for birth. There is a WONDERFUL booklet that I must highly recommend – it’s called “Optimal Foetal Positioning” and it’s available through the midwiferytoday.com website. It is definitely at the top of my must-read, must-recommend list and I hope everyone reading this will consider reading it because it’s really simple and useful information that can prevent a lot of labor and birth troubles. If nothing else, be sure to avoid reclining positions like slouching in a soft chair or couch. Sit straight or lean forward a bit to prevent baby from engaging in a posterior position. When sleeping on your side, put your top knee forward and down on the bed so your belly hangs forward more than back, to help the baby into a good position. The key is to be in a good position when the baby’s head decides to engage in late pregnancy, so the baby’s back is settled against the front of your belly and not against your spine. If you think your baby is posterior (and the book tells you how to figure this out), get on hands-and-knees or spend time leaning forward over a birth ball or low table or something to help the baby into a better position.

Also, what about the idea of letting the baby pick which position is best for him/her? My midwife (my friend now, attended my 3rd birth) told us that in her 20 years of experience attending births she has found that breech births are NOT as difficult or dangerous as we are led to believe, and also that in many cases there is a good reason why the baby did not turn head down. Sometimes it has to do with the shape of the mother’s uterus (I have a friend whose babies are always breech), sometimes how the cord is wrapped around the baby, sometimes there are anomalies that make breech a sensible choice. I find that interesting and reassuring. Lots of people try to get breech babies to turn head-down only to have the baby turn head-up again. I have to wonder if maybe there is a good reason for that. I don’t mean for this to contradict what I just said about encouraging good positioning – the book I recommended explains how our modern lifestyle results in less-than-optimal positioning and how that can be remedied, but I think if your baby persistently chooses a particular position even if you try your best to help it into an optimal position, then it’s best to leave things alone and assume baby knows something you don’t.

What are all of the rest of you planning on for your birth? Do you have a supportive partner or are you doing it alone or with a good friend? Are you going to labour in water?

We are actually renting a birth tub from my midwife friend – this will be my third water labor, and my second waterbirth. My DH is supportive, he’s wonderful, I love having him as a birth partner, but I am not attached to the idea of him being with me when I am in labor. I think circumstances will dictate whether or not he’s a part of it. I think I would like to have him around, but we will see. I have three other small children that will need caring for. My two sisters and one friend are willing to come help with the kids if we ask them to, but they are all 30 minutes to 2 hours away, two of them have other children, and they all have other commitments that might or might not make it tricky for them to come. I don’t love the idea of having others there, but I do want my children’s needs met by someone else while I am laboring.

Amanda, mom to Everest (12), Alden (10-1/2), Ellery (7-1/2), & Avery (6)
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#27 of 150 Old 04-01-2004, 01:55 PM
 
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amyamanda~ I love your kids names! Do you have one picked out for #4? Thanks for the info on positioning. I was reading that it is a big deal in other "less developed" countries. THe midwife will put a scarf under a womans bumm as she is lying down, and lift up the two edges of the fabric and shake the baby into a good position, as they say.

I was also wondering from you ladies, what your philosophy is on diet in pregnancy? I, personally, think I will get what I need, from my diet. I don't take prenatals, but I do take coral calcium, floradix iron occasionally, vitamen c sometimes, other herbs occationally, and clay(the only thing that I REALLY crave). I don't take anything EVERY day. I go by how I feel. Since you mommas are kind of enlightened (don't tell anyone else I said this) about trusting your bodies when giving birth, do you have the same sort of philosophy about your diet during pregnancy?
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#28 of 150 Old 04-01-2004, 03:01 PM
 
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My baby and I are fully capable and deserving of a blissful, painless, and easy birth. ]
Hey Kate, Thanks for that!
Heather
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#29 of 150 Old 04-01-2004, 06:01 PM
 
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mamajaza - I am glad you like my kids' names! Every one gets tougher...this time the only ones we've come up with are Asher or Avery...both more common than the others we have chosen, and both more fitting for a boy (we have no idea what we'll do if it's a girl, maybe use Avery, or scramble for other ideas). I love that my kids have unusual names but it's tougher and tougher to come up with names for new siblings! Has anyone else thought of names yet?

Also I find it interesting that you read positioning is more of a big deal in less developed countries. My impression is that it's more of a problem in countries of "leisure" such as our own. As I recall, the theory is that our bodies evolved to expect our babies to engage while we are doing hard standing or kneeling labor. Examples might be hoeing, weeding, leaning over a washtub, grinding grain, that sort of thing. Nowadays so many people sit in car bucket seats too long, sit unergonomically at desks all day, hire other people to do their housework, and then come home and flop back into a soft lazyboy chair or couch and watch TV...anyway, you get the picture. The best kinds of work I can think of in our culture for proper positioning are pushing a loaded shopping cart, sweeping or doing yard work or gardening, and scrubbing floors on hands and knees.

I find it all very interesting and hope you don't mind me sharing! ;-)

Amanda, mom to Everest (12), Alden (10-1/2), Ellery (7-1/2), & Avery (6)
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#30 of 150 Old 04-01-2004, 07:12 PM
 
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amyamanda~~When I said that it's a big deal, I meant that it's something that matters, ie. the baby's position should be optimal. I'm not saying that they have *more* problems with positioning, but they care about the babies position, unlike here in the west, where if your baby is posterior, "oh well, I guess you'll have to suffer". Do you see what I meant? It's so hard to express things sometimes over the net.
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