Mothering Forum banner

final chapter of the saga in post #108 (was "really conflicted about homebirth and need advice")

Tags
homebirth
8K views 119 replies 31 participants last post by  douladianne 
#1 ·
be forewarned, this might be long and scatter brained...

I have two personalities- my L&D nurse/see what bad can sometimes happen/have medically oriented peers/ not totally into HB husband and my crunchy/no vaxing/ no circing/cloth diapering/homebirth wannabe side. I come home and pour over Birthing From Within and forums like this and feel sure that I can do a hb if I could get DH on board. Then I go to work and occasionally see the complications that can happen with even normal deliveries and makes me feel like I'd be more comfortable in the hospital. How, OH HOW, do I choose!!!

Background- DS will be 23ish months when LO is born. My labor with DS was 6 hrs only, delivered in the hospital, with epidural, not unpleasant but not amazing. I was GBS positive and only got 1 dose because I was only there for 3 hrs before delivery. I'm completely low risk, normal BMI, no complications whatsoever. After DS was born I lamented about having the epidural for months because I really didn't want one but I think because I work there, they expected that I should know what I wanted. I didn't tell anyone I didn't want an epidural because I didn't want to look like a failure if I ended up with one after saying I didn't want one. I labored at home for 3 hrs, was 5cm/100% when I got there, was complete 2 hrs later then pushed for an hour. This time, everyone will know that they will be strangled if they do anything but help me deliver without an epidural. I'm not the kind of person to use a doula, I would need someone I know personally.

anyway... Im seeing my OB and I know this is totally chicken, but if I was able to talk DH into a homebirth, I think the way I would keep my work side from judging me (which Im scared of) would be to continue OB care as if I was going to deliver in the hospital and just pay a midwife out of pocket to do the home del then go to the hospital like it was an accident.

I know it's totally gutless but it just all feels so complicated still. I'm 17 weeks so I have some time to think about it. I dont have a large pool of midwives to choose from so maybe I should try to start there and see if I can even find one that I like first.

If you got this far, thank you for reading
tiphat.gif
! Any advice or guidance is very appreciated!!

PS how does one start to look for a midwife anyway? the only one I know of that is also the closest, I'm not fond of.
 
See less See more
1
#27 ·
So I guess DH is more against it than I thought. I brought it up again tonight so we could watch TBOBB or Orgasmic Birth and he doesn't even want to have it. He's still really worried about complications and being more than 20 mins from the hospital. He's not really one for statistics or the like, I guess he's more old school. He's got all the main stream thoughts that most people have. I was worried about what my coworkers would say but I guess DH is in the same boat as them :(

So I guess it's labor until the last minute then head to the hossy. Or labor at home and miss the hossy... How bad would it be to plan a UC without DH's consent?? Seriously, would it be horrible or should I just plan to head to the hospital?
 
#30 ·
I think your husband's feelings towards homebirth are not that unusual. I know that's exactly what my DH was like at the beginning also and now he is telling people how he used to think homebirth was crazy but the more he learns about it, the more sense it makes.
smile.gif
What really seemed to help him is talking to our midwife about it, she clearly laid out both pros and cons of homebirth and which things are more and less likely to happen (i.e. catastrophic event happening at home vs. infection happening in the hospital). I think it was really good for him to hear it from someone other than me, esp. someone considered a professional in the field. Then he did some more research, we took a prenatal class with a natural angle (non-hospital based) and it all started to come together.
 
#31 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by douladianne View Post

Mamahen2coop ~ Whether you decide to go with your heart and have a home birth or deliver your baby in a hospital, I HIGHLY recommend you take this childbirth prep class. I guarantee by the end of the 2 day workshop, your husband will be smooching on you :0)
http://www.pattiramos.com/workshopregistration.html
Those workshops look great! We'll sign up for one for sure! Thanks for all your resources!

15 mins later- ETA I just signed up for the Labor tools and techniques class. :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ola_ View Post

I think your husband's feelings towards homebirth are not that unusual. I know that's exactly what my DH was like at the beginning also and now he is telling people how he used to think homebirth was crazy but the more he learns about it, the more sense it makes.
smile.gif
What really seemed to help him is talking to our midwife about it, she clearly laid out both pros and cons of homebirth and which things are more and less likely to happen (i.e. catastrophic event happening at home vs. infection happening in the hospital). I think it was really good for him to hear it from someone other than me, esp. someone considered a professional in the field. Then he did some more research, we took a prenatal class with a natural angle (non-hospital based) and it all started to come together.
Maybe I'll call the midwife and set up a meeting in a week or two just to have him feel it out as one last shot. Do they typically do a meeting like that? If after that he's still anti, I'll just plan to go to the hospital and be fine with it. Last night DS woke me up in the middle of the night so I was up for a while and thinking of all the things Im going to ask my OB to do while we're in the hospital like let me deliver in what ever position feels best, waiting to cut the cord, no IV pitocin afterward, etc. I'm sure she'll just smile and say OK because that's how she is.
 
#32 ·
Oh the flip flopping emotions, eh? Quite a ride. I've so been there, girl. And I sympathize for your DH and where he is with all of this at the moment. I would tell him that you understand his hesitance, but that he at least needs to watch these movies with you. He needs to do that for and with you. He needs to form an educated opinion about homebirth even if ultimately it's too much for him. At least that's my opinion and was my minimal expectation back in the day when he was set against homebirth. It's absolutely reasonable that he would dig in his heels at first, but I don't think it's reasonable for anyone to stay there w/o even exploring the possibility.

You're a great candidate for homebirth, but I also think you'll do just fine at the hospital since you can make the system work better for you.

You were asking me about my choices in an earlier post? I'm not sure what you want to know, but essentially, I don't trust that I can have a successful birth in the hospital, and even though ACOG has revised its VBAC guidelines, most OBs here are not supporting women who want to have a VBAC after 2 cesareans. And I don't want to be fighting hospital protocols while I'm trying to have my one and only vaginal birth. I guess that's it in a nutshell.
 
#33 ·
It is common to do a meet and greet with a midwife.

I wanted to respond because my hubby wasn't thrilled with planning a homebirth. My hubby is rather mainstream. Our first was in the hospital and it was a typical hospital birth. For our second, I decided I really wanted to homebirth. I wasn't sure how he was going to be during labor/birth. He was great! He was much better support during this labor than my first which I mostly credit to getting him to watch Orgasmic Birth. Unfortunately we ended up transferring (long labor, suspected posterior baby). The surprising thing is that he is game for attempting another homebirth if we have another child and if we can afford it. I really expected him to say "no way, no how" so I think he's really come around.
 
#34 ·
Jenica - from reading all of your posts, it sounds to me like in your heart you really want to HB. But since you have reservations about the judgments people will make, your DH being initially opposed made your decision easier for you. Because of that, I think you haven't tried to convince him why he should seriously consider homebirth. Now, I'm not saying that you need to do that. If you feel at peace with a hossy birth, then there's no need. But it doesn't sound like you do feel at peace with a hossy birth.

I think lots of other moms will tell you this - homebirth is not something that DHs accept / get on board with over night.

I really wanted a homebirth with #2, but DH was flat-out against it. We were living with a relative at the time. Our compromise in the end was that I would have a natural hossy birth for #2, but that whenever we had our own house, I could have a homebirth. So when we got pregnant with DD about 6 months after buying our house, DH basically knew what as coming. He still didn't love the idea, but he knew we had agreed on it and wasn't going to argue with me.

We actually ended up UCing with DD. DH LOVED it! He loves to tell everyone about her birth and how he delivered her. But it took him a really long time to get to that place.

I think, first things first, you should come to terms truly with what you want, even if it might not be how things work out. If what you truly want is a homebirth, you should accept that, even if you know you might go to the hossy anyway. Accepting your own feelings is step #1.

However, like you said, going with what you want with your DH not on board might not be something you are willing to do (some women are, some aren't - I don't think I'd be okay if DH wasn't on board). So once you have accepted your own wishes, then you can start working on your DH.

He, like most people, assumes that the hospital is like a helmet in the analogy pp gave. But like she said, it isn't an adept analogy. There are real RISKS to hospital birth, and we often forget that. Your DH needs educated, in small increments over time about what the risks of the hospital are and about what the risks during labor / birth are. We tend to think Mom could die, baby could die! But, really, something happens that causes death. What are those things? They need quantified. How are those things addressed at home? At the hospital? What is the procedure for transport? Etc, etc.

Personally, I would tell DH that you respect his feelings, but this is a decision of two people and you are one of them. If he is willing to actually listen to you and consider the real pros and cons that is fine. What is not fine is for him to shut you down and not even listen to any real info. It is wrong of him to pass of your wants / concerns because it's "scary" or "dangerous" without ever really and seriously considering the truth of why he *feels* that way.
 
#35 ·
Jenica...I'm so glad you got signed up for Patti's class! I would definitely spend time doing a no-obligation consultation with a couple different midwives. I think a lot of the hesitancy on the part of Dad is due to either misinformation or lack of and sometimes all it takes is a good discussion with a midwife (or another home birth dad!) Maybe he feels too much pressure would be on him at a home birth. If that's the case, hire a doula. Of course, I recommend having a doula regardless but I'm a little biased :0)

You're making decisions that are aiming toward the birth you desire...I'm excited to watch it unfold over the next several months!
 
#36 ·
hug2.gif
Thanks!! I was just about to take Orgasmic Birth down to the mailbox, but maybe I'll make him watch it tonight... for me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by klemomma View Post

Jenica - from reading all of your posts, it sounds to me like in your heart you really want to HB. But since you have reservations about the judgments people will make, your DH being initially opposed made your decision easier for you. Because of that, I think you haven't tried to convince him why he should seriously consider homebirth. Now, I'm not saying that you need to do that. If you feel at peace with a hossy birth, then there's no need. But it doesn't sound like you do feel at peace with a hossy birth.

I think lots of other moms will tell you this - homebirth is not something that DHs accept / get on board with over night.

I really wanted a homebirth with #2, but DH was flat-out against it. We were living with a relative at the time. Our compromise in the end was that I would have a natural hossy birth for #2, but that whenever we had our own house, I could have a homebirth. So when we got pregnant with DD about 6 months after buying our house, DH basically knew what as coming. He still didn't love the idea, but he knew we had agreed on it and wasn't going to argue with me.

We actually ended up UCing with DD. DH LOVED it! He loves to tell everyone about her birth and how he delivered her. But it took him a really long time to get to that place.

I think, first things first, you should come to terms truly with what you want, even if it might not be how things work out. If what you truly want is a homebirth, you should accept that, even if you know you might go to the hossy anyway. Accepting your own feelings is step #1.

However, like you said, going with what you want with your DH not on board might not be something you are willing to do (some women are, some aren't - I don't think I'd be okay if DH wasn't on board). So once you have accepted your own wishes, then you can start working on your DH.

He, like most people, assumes that the hospital is like a helmet in the analogy pp gave. But like she said, it isn't an adept analogy. There are real RISKS to hospital birth, and we often forget that. Your DH needs educated, in small increments over time about what the risks of the hospital are and about what the risks during labor / birth are. We tend to think Mom could die, baby could die! But, really, something happens that causes death. What are those things? They need quantified. How are those things addressed at home? At the hospital? What is the procedure for transport? Etc, etc.

Personally, I would tell DH that you respect his feelings, but this is a decision of two people and you are one of them. If he is willing to actually listen to you and consider the real pros and cons that is fine. What is not fine is for him to shut you down and not even listen to any real info. It is wrong of him to pass of your wants / concerns because it's "scary" or "dangerous" without ever really and seriously considering the truth of why he *feels* that way.
 
#37 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by klemomma View Post

I think lots of other moms will tell you this - homebirth is not something that DHs accept / get on board with over night.
yeahthat.gif


It took my DH quite a while to get on board with HB and the worries, risks and preceived stigma about it. He is a very conservative guy. Even after we decided to HB, I think DH was never 100% on board until the very end of the pregnancy (after he was much better educated on HB). However, now, he couldn't be more proud that he caught his daughter and his DW had an HB. Let's face it, DHs are not typically going to watch all the movies and read all the books (at least not most of them) like we do. But they may read short emailed articles and watch a few minutes of a movie and over time, they may ebrace the whole HB experience.
 
#38 ·
I told DH that I didn't feel like he was giving it a fair shot. I asked that he just watch a couple videos, since I cant see him curling up with a book on the subject, and that he meet with the midwife. If after that he still has reservations or doesn't want to, I would drop the subject completely and deliver in the hospital. So yesterday DH watched Orgasmic Birth and he said he'd watch TBOBB today.
thumbsup.gif
And...We have a consult appt with the midwife on Monday!!
joy.gif


We haven't had time to talk about what he thought about Orgasmic Birth yet so I figured I'd wait until after he watched TBOBB. When I talked to the midwife she said he has a spiel that she gives that answers most of people's questions. I'm really excited to go meet her and see if this could be a possibility- I felt giddy after I made the appt. I told her that really MY only reservation is a social reason (LAME-O I know!) but that DH is skeptical and she said we could talk about it and see if hb could be for us. Then I thought about HOW I would break up with my OB and that made me anxious. but, if DH does a 180 and gets on board, I cant very well chicken out just because I'm scared of what my OB will say. SO... we'll see!!
 
#40 ·
Good luck with making your decision! It can be so conflicting, especially when so few people are really educated about home birth, and the majority of what you hear about it is that it's dangerous, irresponsible, etc. I'm in a similar situation - my Mom is a medical-minded RN, with 35 years of OB/NICU experience. Since she's seen every worse-case scenario in the book in the NICU, if I choose home birth, it'll be a LOT of work convincing her that I'm making a responsible choice. (She tends to forget that lots of worse-case scenarios are preterm births or high-risk patients, which wouldn't be the case with a homebirth. And other worse-case scenarios can't be prevented even with a hospital birth.)

My husband is more open to the idea, but we'll be doing a lot of educating ourselves before he'll be comfortable with the idea of HB.
 
#41 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamahen2coop View Post

be forewarned, this might be long and scatter brained...

I have two personalities- my L&D nurse/see what bad can sometimes happen/have medically oriented peers/ not totally into HB husband and my crunchy/no vaxing/ no circing/cloth diapering/homebirth wannabe side. I come home and pour over Birthing From Within and forums like this and feel sure that I can do a hb if I could get DH on board. Then I go to work and occasionally see the complications that can happen with even normal deliveries and makes me feel like I'd be more comfortable in the hospital. How, OH HOW, do I choose!!!

Background- DS will be 23ish months when LO is born. My labor with DS was 6 hrs only, delivered in the hospital, with epidural, not unpleasant but not amazing. I was GBS positive and only got 1 dose because I was only there for 3 hrs before delivery. I'm completely low risk, normal BMI, no complications whatsoever. After DS was born I lamented about having the epidural for months because I really didn't want one but I think because I work there, they expected that I should know what I wanted. I didn't tell anyone I didn't want an epidural because I didn't want to look like a failure if I ended up with one after saying I didn't want one. I labored at home for 3 hrs, was 5cm/100% when I got there, was complete 2 hrs later then pushed for an hour. This time, everyone will know that they will be strangled if they do anything but help me deliver without an epidural. I'm not the kind of person to use a doula, I would need someone I know personally.

anyway... Im seeing my OB and I know this is totally chicken, but if I was able to talk DH into a homebirth, I think the way I would keep my work side from judging me (which Im scared of) would be to continue OB care as if I was going to deliver in the hospital and just pay a midwife out of pocket to do the home del then go to the hospital like it was an accident.

I know it's totally gutless but it just all feels so complicated still. I'm 17 weeks so I have some time to think about it. I dont have a large pool of midwives to choose from so maybe I should try to start there and see if I can even find one that I like first.

If you got this far, thank you for reading
tiphat.gif
! Any advice or guidance is very appreciated!!

PS how does one start to look for a midwife anyway? the only one I know of that is also the closest, I'm not fond of.
Jenica,

I am also a health care provider and I work with OBs almost daily. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am planning a home birth but I have been on the fence about it myself. I haven't told any of the doctors I work with my intentions, mostly because it isn't any of their business I don't want to hear their jaded 2 cents. Once you work in a medical institution it changes you! I am 100% for safe, educated, home birth...but when you have seen placenta abrupta and amniotic embolisms it truly is SCARY to know the risks. I'm 13 weeks with baby #3 and have my second midwife apt tomorrow. I am going to talk more in detail with her about my health history (2 babies in birth center/hospital 6 hr and 2 hour labors, one hemorrhage) and my concerns. As much as I want a home birth I also don't want to be foolish and take any chances if I were not the right candidate. I suppose we shall see as time progresses! I just wanted to let you know I totally understand your conflicts and although it may sound insecure and silly to others, it isn't!!! When your a medical professional there is intense scrutiny upon your person choices when it comes to your own health. Its a rough field, and you have to have a thick outer shell because it isn't always the warm fuzzy caring environment portrayed. I hope the practice you have chosen at least has a couple of CNM to offer you additional support of your choices and you have the peaceful empowered birth you desire!
blowkiss.gif
 
#42 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dlynn918 View Post

Jenica,

I am also a health care provider and I work with OBs almost daily. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am planning a home birth but I have been on the fence about it myself. I haven't told any of the doctors I work with my intentions, mostly because it isn't any of their business I don't want to hear their jaded 2 cents. Once you work in a medical institution it changes you! I am 100% for safe, educated, home birth...but when you have seen placenta abrupta and amniotic embolisms it truly is SCARY to know the risks. I'm 13 weeks with baby #3 and have my second midwife apt tomorrow. I am going to talk more in detail with her about my health history (2 babies in birth center/hospital 6 hr and 2 hour labors, one hemorrhage) and my concerns. As much as I want a home birth I also don't want to be foolish and take any chances if I were not the right candidate. I suppose we shall see as time progresses! I just wanted to let you know I totally understand your conflicts and although it may sound insecure and silly to others, it isn't!!! When your a medical professional there is intense scrutiny upon your person choices when it comes to your own health. Its a rough field, and you have to have a thick outer shell because it isn't always the warm fuzzy caring environment portrayed. I hope the practice you have chosen at least has a couple of CNM to offer you additional support of your choices and you have the peaceful empowered birth you desire!
blowkiss.gif
Thanks!!
There are no CNM's within 60mins of here. We have only the OB's I work with and the LM's. We have our appointment with the LM tonight so we'll see how it goes and what feeling we get. I'm excited to meet her and see but also scared because then I have to make a choice! I called my insurance and although they cover LM's equal to OB's, the one I picked isn't in the network so...
 
#43 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamahen2coop View Post

Thanks!!
There are no CNM's within 60mins of here. We have only the OB's I work with and the LM's. We have our appointment with the LM tonight so we'll see how it goes and what feeling we get. I'm excited to meet her and see but also scared because then I have to make a choice! I called my insurance and although they cover LM's equal to OB's, the one I picked isn't in the network so...
Wow, that's frustrating. We picked a CNM who does home birth but she lives an hour away, which makes me a little concerned. But I just found out that home birth is on the chopping block in CT and may soon be ILLEGAL. Nice huh? So cool to live is an ass backward state. :-(
 
#44 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dlynn918 View Post

Wow, that's frustrating. We picked a CNM who does home birth but she lives an hour away, which makes me a little concerned. But I just found out that home birth is on the chopping block in CT and may soon be ILLEGAL. Nice huh? So cool to live is an ass backward state. :-(
If it makes you feel better WA is trying to be the first to remove exemptions for vaccines.
irked.gif
 
#45 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamahen2coop View Post

If it makes you feel better WA is trying to be the first to remove exemptions for vaccines.
irked.gif
Oh, another touchy subject!!! Whooping cough just went around my daughters daycare. She only goes maybe one-two mornings a week so I can get to the OR by 7 and yes, she was vaccinated so I wasn't worried about it. But what about the babies that were 6 weeks old? That's scary! I was lucky enough to be at home with both of my kids for the first two years so I didnt jump to vaccinate till they were a little older than recommended. And my pediatrician was supportive too. So COOL! When you find out the reasons why they vaccinate for things like heb b at birth it doesnt really make you want to jump on board with it as a responsible parent.

Anyway, I will be going to my prenatal visit tomorrow...an hour away
eyesroll.gif
...so I will let you know what kind of light was shed of my concerns. Let me know how it went with yours! Much luck with it!
nod.gif
 
#46 ·
So DH and I went to meet with the midwife. It went very well and DH agreed that if a homebirth was something I really wanted we could! However, he was a little less than impressed because she has only been practicing a year and has a 35% transfer rate. We didn't ask if she kept specific statistics as to why she transferred, but that bothered him. I was less bothered because she said she almost always brings another midwife with 20+yrs experience, and an L&D nurse that I work with as her birth attendants so I'd be happy with that. MY biggest reservation, which is a deal breaker with her, is that she takes one month off per year and it's the month I"m due. I'm due at the end and she said if I went to full term she'd deliver me but if I was early by any stretch Id be delivered by her back up who happens to be the only one midwife in our area that I've met previously and dont feel that I click with.

So she's not the one, but if I really want a homebirth there are 2 other midwives that I think come to my area. Now I have more to chew on but I'm glad that DH is on board. Although I still think he'd be more comfortable in the hospital and he keeps joking that he wants 2 million in life insurance just in case ;)
 
#47 ·
I have been following your thread closely mama, since I am going through a somewhat similar situation in the sense that DH is having major reservations too...

Honestly, the 35% transfer rate seems really high to me? I am knew to this whole HB game though so maybe it isn't? I mean that translate to roughly 1 out of 3 women she has attended have transferred? I guess if it was me I would be seriously questioning that like your DH...Maybe more experienced HB mamas can chime in as to whether that is a high number or not.

I am so glad that your DH feels a bit better about the whole situation though, I am currently trying to convince DH that HB is ok for us and we are meeting with our first MW next wednesday.

The whole thing about not being around the entire month of your due date? How would the final prenatal visits work then? I was under the impression that most HB MWs still do a weekly visit in the final month of pregnancy? Would she not do these or have a partner do them?

All in all good luck! I totally sympathize with the difficult DH aspect although I can't speak to how stressful it must be to have to consider your work in the whole equation!
 
#48 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post

I have been following your thread closely mama, since I am going through a somewhat similar situation in the sense that DH is having major reservations too...

Honestly, the 35% transfer rate seems really high to me? I am knew to this whole HB game though so maybe it isn't? I mean that translate to roughly 1 out of 3 women she has attended have transferred? I guess if it was me I would be seriously questioning that like your DH...Maybe more experienced HB mamas can chime in as to whether that is a high number or not.

I am so glad that your DH feels a bit better about the whole situation though, I am currently trying to convince DH that HB is ok for us and we are meeting with our first MW next wednesday.

The whole thing about not being around the entire month of your due date? How would the final prenatal visits work then? I was under the impression that most HB MWs still do a weekly visit in the final month of pregnancy? Would she not do these or have a partner do them?

All in all good luck! I totally sympathize with the difficult DH aspect although I can't speak to how stressful it must be to have to consider your work in the whole equation!
She said a lot of her transfers are women who wanted pain management. If I was really dedicated to trying to make it work out with her I would ask her for a break down of how many she transferred for medical vs other reasons. So, with her 2-4 clients per month and having only practiced for 12 months, that's pretty high I think.

She would have her partner (the one I dont love) see me for the weekly visits during the last month and chance her being off vacation by the time I deliver. This is not OK with me since having the person I'm comfortable with do the delivery is a big part of the whole reason I would want to have a homebirth. Although my OB will be on call for me 24/7. If she were not available for some reason, since I work with them all, I would be able to hand pick who to see as her back up vs who ever is on call for the group that day.

But, after talking with her DH feels better about being able to handle emergencies and said we could have a homebirth if it's what I really want. And like I said earlier, he's not the best at fully thinking about/internalizing then expressing how he feels. I think he would say if he still felt against it but I dont think he'd say that he was still worried and would really feel better at the hossy. so... we'll see!
 
#49 ·
I think my midwives' transfer rate is about 30% (I would have to go look at the stats, and I'm not sure where they are). but that includes transfers because the pregnancy turned high-risk, transfers for pain management, transfers for Failure to progress, and transfers for actual emergencies. but they also have had over 1000 clients over 10 years, and have only had one loss, and that was due to Trisomy 18. I personally would rather have a transfer rate on the higher end than one on the very low end. to me it shows that the Midwife is willing to transfer if needed.
 
#50 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marissamom View Post

I think my midwives' transfer rate is about 30% (I would have to go look at the stats, and I'm not sure where they are). but that includes transfers because the pregnancy turned high-risk, transfers for pain management, transfers for Failure to progress, and transfers for actual emergencies. but they also have had over 1000 clients over 10 years, and have only had one loss, and that was due to Trisomy 18. I personally would rather have a transfer rate on the higher end than one on the very low end. to me it shows that the Midwife is willing to transfer if needed.
Thank you for that perspective! as a noob to HB, I always assumed lower transfer rates=better but I see it is not always so!

OP, at it served to help get your DH more on board, that is a big plus.
 
#51 ·
A typical transfer rate for midwives is 5%-10%, so you are right that 35% is very high! I would be interested in the percentage of those that transferred due to wanting pain meds vs. due to her not comfortable with the situation. I'm glad she works with a seasoned midwife; but it's too bad you don't feel like you click. Any chance a second consultation with her could put you at ease a little more?

You might check this midwife out...She's also a friend of mine http://www.pacificnorthwestmidwifery.com/
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top