final chapter of the saga in post #108 (was "really conflicted about homebirth and need advice") - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 120 Old 04-27-2011, 07:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Still waiting to hear back from her...

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#92 of 120 Old 04-28-2011, 07:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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She called me back yesterday but is on vacation until Tuesday. We talked a little and I let her know I might want to continue care with my OB and I didn't get a good feeling from her if she'd be OK with that. The connection was not great so we're going to talk more on Wednesday. It'd be a lot of extra money to pay for both so now I'm trying to decide what price my lack of guts is worth.
Who ever does the delivery gets the global fee so if I saw my OB for every appointment but midwife did the delivery, midwife would get the whole reimbursement from insurance.
I'd just have to get out of going to the hospital some how... I feel like a teenager sneaking out to do something naughty.

ETA:
I just called the billing department at my OB's office and she said that if they dont do the delivery they dont charge for the delivery. She said that the charges for the antepartum visits depend on how many and if you were high risk or not. Then they'd charge for the postpartum care. SO... I could conceivably pay out of pocket for the antepartum OB visits, use insurance for the midwife antepartum visits and delivery. SO if everything went as planned, I could deliver at home, hope to have no repairs needed, then just call my OB and ask if I could see her in the office the next day instead of going to the hospital. I'm just thinking out loud here, I know you all think I'm crazy!! redface.gif

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#93 of 120 Old 04-28-2011, 10:52 AM
 
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I'm curious why you'd need to go see your OB the next day if you had your baby at home with a midwife? Every midwife I've worked with comes back to your house the following day for a complete evaluation and is always available should you feel the need to see her any time. This is all included in her fee as postpartum care.

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#94 of 120 Old 04-28-2011, 11:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by douladianne View Post

I'm curious why you'd need to go see your OB the next day if you had your baby at home with a midwife? Every midwife I've worked with comes back to your house the following day for a complete evaluation and is always available should you feel the need to see her any time. This is all included in her fee as postpartum care.


Because I'm still scared to break up with my OB hide.gif

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#95 of 120 Old 05-01-2011, 11:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So last night, as I lay trying to sleep but thinking about this whole thing (as usual), I was wondering WHY am I having such a hard time deciding when it seems like my gut says to have a homebirth. I decided that it's because I'm torn between choosing a provider and a setting.
I have a provider that I love and totally trust but who practices somewhere I'd rather not be. I also have a super awesome setting where I'd love to be but haven't found a provider that I trust to be there.
So how do you choose?!?! I'm still following up with the one midwife who is on vacation until Tuesday and a super sweet mama on here gave me the name of another MW practice that I'm hoping will be willing to make the hour plus trek over here from Seattle. And maybe I'll be able to find that trust in one of them, but I think for me I need the trust of the provider more than the serenity of my home. What do you think?

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#96 of 120 Old 05-01-2011, 08:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamahen2coop View Post

So last night, as I lay trying to sleep but thinking about this whole thing (as usual), I was wondering WHY am I having such a hard time deciding when it seems like my gut says to have a homebirth. I decided that it's because I'm torn between choosing a provider and a setting.
I have a provider that I love and totally trust but who practices somewhere I'd rather not be. I also have a super awesome setting where I'd love to be but haven't found a provider that I trust to be there.
So how do you choose?!?! I'm still following up with the one midwife who is on vacation until Tuesday and a super sweet mama on here gave me the name of another MW practice that I'm hoping will be willing to make the hour plus trek over here from Seattle. And maybe I'll be able to find that trust in one of them, but I think for me I need the trust of the provider more than the serenity of my home. What do you think?


with my first I chose provider, and ended up having an on-call doctor who was a terrible fit for me (didn't treat me like an actual person) and a nurse who had a similar attitude. since that route didn't work out, I ended up choosing based on setting for my second, even though I didn't click great with either of the midwives. since you know you won't be stuck with a different doctor because of who is on-call and you get to choose your own nurse if you go the hospital route, it does make it a much tougher decision. 

 


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#97 of 120 Old 05-02-2011, 06:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A nice mama on here, who happens to also be an L&D nurse, recommended some midwives that unfortunately dont come all the way to where I live. It means a lot that they come with her recommendation as someone who works with them and also used them for her own homebirth. SO now I'm back to thinking maybe could it possibly work to go all the way over there to the birth center? If there is NO traffic and we happened to just catch the ferry as it was leaving it would take a minimum of 1hr 15mins. More likely we'd have to wait for the ferry that normally runs every half hour but sometimes only once an hour and get some traffic especially on the Seattle side. so total time anywhere from 1hr15min to 2+hrs to get there. My last labor was about 3 hrs from 5 cm to delivery and probably 3 hours from any pain at all to 5 cm. SO it makes me a little nervous to travel that far. Right???...

So I guess part of that question is has anyone experienced a hospital delivery and a birth center delivery? What are the biggest differences? I've never been to a birth center (but am thinking about going to tour the one with Ina May there on Wednesday thumb.gif)
At our hospital I'd be able to have intermittent monitoring and access to a tub but normally not intended for delivery. any thoughts??

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#98 of 120 Old 05-02-2011, 09:13 PM
 
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and how long would it take to get to the birth center if you go into labor in the middle of the night when the ferry isn't running? second babies tend to be faster, so you could have a pretty short labor. 


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#99 of 120 Old 05-03-2011, 06:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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and how long would it take to get to the birth center if you go into labor in the middle of the night when the ferry isn't running? second babies tend to be faster, so you could have a pretty short labor. 


2hrs 15 mins. There probably wouldn't be any traffic that late at night since the ferrys only shut down for a few hours, but construction at night in the summer is common.
Probably pretty risky huh?? Oh well. One last hope... I'll talk to her tomorrow.

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#100 of 120 Old 05-03-2011, 10:56 AM
 
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The Birthing Inn is only 48 minutes away from Poulsbo, with no traffic or construction 24 hrs/day. I can give you several recommendations for midwives that I've assisted in births with there. It's a great place in that you can do anything your body feels like, have a waterbirth in a spa like setting, and tuck your baby in bed with you and hubby for a nice rest. Midwife stays and monitor you for several hours afterward and then leaves you and your husband to sleep for the night/day. Again, those midwives also do homebirths so you avoid the travel as well as the birth center fee. If your insurance covers the facility, then no big deal. Let me know if I can help. So many decisions...good thing you started planning your birth in the early stage of pregnancy :0)

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#101 of 120 Old 05-04-2011, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just got off the phone with midwife candidate #4. I feel like I'm interviewing suitors. Anyway, she sounds amazing. I'm going to meet her tonight to see if we hit it off. Unfortunately DH cant come tonight but I'm going anyway and if I like her then he can come to my visits and get to know her then. Cross your fingers for me. I feel like maybe if I feel like I can trust her and get to know her, maybe I"ll have the guts to tell my OB straight up. I'm sure I'll cry when I do but this might be our last baby and I want it to be what I want it to be!
I'm hopeful so if she turns out to not be what I needed then I'll be a little disappointed. ACK! dizzy.gif

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#102 of 120 Old 05-04-2011, 06:09 PM
 
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Good luck, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
 

Quote:
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I just got off the phone with midwife candidate #4. I feel like I'm interviewing suitors. Anyway, she sounds amazing. I'm going to meet her tonight to see if we hit it off. Unfortunately DH cant come tonight but I'm going anyway and if I like her then he can come to my visits and get to know her then. Cross your fingers for me. I feel like maybe if I feel like I can trust her and get to know her, maybe I"ll have the guts to tell my OB straight up. I'm sure I'll cry when I do but this might be our last baby and I want it to be what I want it to be!
I'm hopeful so if she turns out to not be what I needed then I'll be a little disappointed. ACK! dizzy.gif


 


 

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#103 of 120 Old 05-04-2011, 11:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think it might happen ...

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#104 of 120 Old 05-08-2011, 07:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I really really like the Midwife I met with on Thursday. I'm feeling really good about it! I made an appointment to break up with my OB tomorrow morning. Look for a final, real conclusion tomorrow!
Watch I'll transfer to the midwife then end up being a transfer anyway! That'd be some luck.
Happy Mothers Day everyone

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#105 of 120 Old 05-08-2011, 08:13 AM
 
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Awesome! I'm very excited for you.


 

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#106 of 120 Old 05-08-2011, 02:50 PM
 
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joy.gif  glad you finally found someone to work with


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#107 of 120 Old 05-08-2011, 04:36 PM
 
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I'm thinkin' you're going to have an awesome home birth and can't wait to hear the story!

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#108 of 120 Old 05-09-2011, 01:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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SO... Last week I met with a wonderful, very experienced, and, I gather, well respected in the midwife world midwife that is about 30-35 minutes from my house. She seems very intuitive and knowledgeable and I felt very comfortable with her. After I met with her I knew that I really did want a homebirth and that she could be the person that I could trust to keep me and baby safe. I sat on it Friday though, just because I'm my mother's daughter and cant make a decision to save my life. Then she called me Saturday and said that she doesn't normally call clients back while they're deciding what to do but that she felt compelled to because she just really thought that I was in a place where I was looking for more out of my birthing experience than the hospital could give me and since DS was with me and having a melt down while I was interviewing her on Thursday, she thought we didn't get a chance to talk about it as much as she'd have liked. I appreciated that.
Fast forward a day to this morning and I'm a nervous nelly sitting in the waiting room at the OB's office. My blood pressure was 122, which is pretty high for me, and if they would have counted my pulse I'm sure it was at least 80! so my OB comes in, we chat like usual and have the requisite quicky fundal height and doppler heart tones then I just said why I came in 2 weeks early... how I'd just had this gut feeling I didn't want to deliver in the hospital and that I really trusted her and that made it hard for me to find someone else who delivers at home. She reacted just how I thought she would react because she is the good doctor I think she is. She said OK, yay for you, you dont need me anyway! She said if anyone should be having babies at home it's me and that as long as I found someone with adequate experience that everything would be just fine. She said she would still be my MD if I needed to transfer for any reason and it all went very, very well. joy.gif


SO... now I'm officially having a homebirth and can spend the hours I was spending agonizing over this decision on other things, like do I need a birthing tub or not and where do I get all the supplies I'll need. smile.gif
I'm pretty giddy right now so Im certain that I made the right decision. woo hoo!
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#109 of 120 Old 05-09-2011, 04:20 PM
 
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YAY!!! So happy for you!!!


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#110 of 120 Old 05-09-2011, 05:29 PM
 
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Congrats, especially on having such a great and understanding OB.  Having to transfer without a good backup doc is one of the worst problems with the homebirth midwife system in America, so consider yourself very blessed!

 

 

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#111 of 120 Old 05-09-2011, 06:18 PM
 
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#112 of 120 Old 05-09-2011, 06:36 PM
 
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I'm so so happy for you! Hurray!!


 

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#113 of 120 Old 05-09-2011, 07:23 PM
 
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VERY cool!


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Cheers! YAY! biggrinbounce.gif

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#115 of 120 Old 05-12-2011, 09:24 AM
 
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How wonderful! Your doctor sounds amazing! So happy for you!
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#116 of 120 Old 05-12-2011, 09:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How wonderful! Your doctor sounds amazing! So happy for you!

She really is, I think that's a big reason why I had such a hard time deciding. I'm really a pretty private person so I think once you trust someone enough to be a part of something so intimate, it's hard to generate the same trust and comfort level with someone new. I have now had a clinic visit with the midwife and I think I will be very comfortable with her by the time delivery comes.

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#117 of 120 Old 05-16-2011, 11:06 AM
 
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I guess the next thing to figure out is if you're wanting a water birth.  If you have a good sized bathtub, you might be OK.  You can order your supplies on this site http://www.yourwaterbirth.com/. Your midwife might even have her kits built in to where you put in her name and order what she's already selected. The least expensive La Bassine works just fine for a birthing tub. Since you'd be using a liner, you can always resell the tub...people are always looking to buy them.

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#118 of 120 Old 05-16-2011, 02:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a good sized jetted tub that I spent most of my labor with DS in. I know it might be a little crass, but I also have a brand new stock water trough just sitting around so I was thinking maybe if I didn't want to deliver in the tub for some reason, I could labor in the bathtub then get in the trough with some towels or something? I'm going to ask the midwife what she knows and has available this week so I can start getting ready. Im not sure what I want but I think i want something there as an option if I do want.

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#119 of 120 Old 05-17-2011, 10:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamahen2coop View Post

I have a good sized jetted tub that I spent most of my labor with DS in. I know it might be a little crass, but I also have a brand new stock water trough just sitting around so I was thinking maybe if I didn't want to deliver in the tub for some reason, I could labor in the bathtub then get in the trough with some towels or something? I'm going to ask the midwife what she knows and has available this week so I can start getting ready. Im not sure what I want but I think i want something there as an option if I do want.


smile.gif Not crass at all. In fact I know one gal who bought a water trough just to use as a birthing tub. Be sure to line the bottom really well, that was her only complaint.

 

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#120 of 120 Old 05-17-2011, 12:55 PM
 
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