Not Feeling Quite Right - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 06-08-2011, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It may just be hormones or stress. I was so determined at the beginning of this pregnancy that I was going to be stress-free! HA! Two kids already until 3 and a chaotic house to begin with, so not happening. But I am going with it and taking it as easy as I can. Even still, I am almost 16 weeks in the third pregnancy and have yet to truly feel the baby move. We haven't heard heart beat yet. And I constantly have this feeling that something might just be not quite right. I hear it's a third pregnancy thing (and on after that) but since conception, things have just been off.

 

At conception I had what I thought was a yeast infection, but may have been copious vaginal fluid (we conceived with "left over" sperm from a couple days prior) and I inserted garlic vaginally to cure the yeast quickly. Well, I had a HORRIBLE reaction to that and my vaginal area swelled completely closed and was in horrible pain. For two days it was like that and then did finally ease off. Plus side, my yeast infection (?) was gone in about three days! Then a week and a half later I had what felt like a bladder infection but my son told me it was the baby in my tummy, so I tested to prove him wrong. HE WAS RIGHT! But so was I because the next day the bladder infection set in full force and I ended up in the dr's office for it because it was so painful and I had blood clots in my urine. AND I NEVER GOTO THE DR!!!! After that, two weeks later, I got a sinus cold that lasted for close to two weeks. Following that, morning sickness, or ALL DAY SICKNESS set in full force and every single thing I consumed, even water, made it's way to the toilet. Or kitchen sink, whatever was closest.

 

This has just been the roughest pregnancy for me and I am still exhausted. I can't seem to catch up on rest. And I don't feel bonded well with this baby. I kind of want to go and have an ultrasound done so I can check on the baby and make sure things are all good and find out the gender so I can maybe try to bond by preparing for it. But we never find out the gender and aren't real into ultrasounds...Really, my husband is just against both pretty emphatically. I am indifferent either way, this time around. I have just never felt this way. I know if something was wrong, I wouldn't do anything anyway, but I just want to know. My nutrition was horrible in the beginning and I couldn't do prenatal vitamins, so I feel like I have robbed this baby and if something is wrong, I know I will take all f the guilt upon myself and blame myself harshly.

 

I guess I just feel not so right. Maybe it's the rough start or maybe it's intuition. I don't know. Anyone else ever feel this way?

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#2 of 9 Old 06-08-2011, 08:55 PM
 
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Well, I lost 3 in a row, so I became quite paranoid about early pregnancy stuff.  Maybe if you're not up for an u/s, go back and ask for someone to take a listen with the doppler.  At 16 weeks they really should be able to find the heartbeat because the uterus has grown out of the pelvic brim.

 

I'm all for following your intuition.  So, if you're worried something is wrong, why not put yourself out of that misery?!


Kimberly, mom & wife - blogging.jpg about pregnancy and birth
DD 2004; 3 angel1.gif babies 2007-08; rainbow1284.gif twin DDs 2009; DD 7/12/11 hospital uhoh3.gif VBAC bouncy.gifafter 2 cesareans!

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#3 of 9 Old 06-09-2011, 06:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't currently have access to a doppler. We plan to use a fetoscope in the next couple weeks. I have a retroverted uterus anyways so finding heart tones before now has always been trouble for us.

 

I talked with my husband about it last night and told him I wanted to go get an ultrasound and he asked me if it showed anything wrong, if we would do anything. I said "No," and convinced myself not to. He is right, I wouldn't do anything different. It's just this feeling I have. I often wonder is Pre-Partum Depression is possible because I feel like something like that has set in this week, particularly. It's just one of those times I suppose. Sometimes, though, I wish I were able to know very little about pregnancy and birth so I could do happily along with standard medical care and have a hospital birth that I would never question. But I just know too much about it all...enough to be dangerous--to myself!!!!! Thanks for your reply!

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#4 of 9 Old 06-09-2011, 07:05 AM
 
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What if something is wrong that could be fixed though?? I myself did not do any testing of any kind because it would not have mattered. I did however have an US so I would at least have some idea of what to expect.

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#5 of 9 Old 06-09-2011, 12:04 PM
 
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I wouls do an US. Of course you could do thing differentely if something is wrong.  There is now fetal surgery availabale for certain defects. If it is something that can; be fixed in utero, you can develope a differen brith plabn, prepare yourself and you house to provide care fo a special needs child. So on and so forth. Also, sometime thyroid issues can cause emotional problmes such as depression. Thyroid disorder can be very bad for a baby. Go to a doctor, ahve blood test and US. IF tehre is nothing, you can put yourself at ease rather than being anxious for next 9 months which is not good for the baby.

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#6 of 9 Old 06-10-2011, 06:45 AM
 
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We have had ultrasounds with all of our pregnancies. 1 ultrasound verified what I felt, that the pregnancy wasn't right. I went on to miscarry with that pregnancy. HOWEVER, I am not saying that is true for you.

 

Our other ultrasounds were 20 week ultrasounds. We wanted to verify our baby was relatively healthy and that a homebirth was not putting them at excess risk. Sometimes there are problems that require a c-section for baby's safety (some cases of spina bifida come to mind), immediate surgery, or potential for other problem and I wanted to know that I was taking all the necessary precautions to ensure a safe homebirth. If one of my babies did (or does in the future) have such a problem, I want to know so I can make an informed decision. I wouldn't be terminating a pregnancy, but I would want to prepare in a way that provided the best possible outcome for both me and my babe.

 

I know some people consider the risk of ultrasound greater than the small possibility of problems, but for me, the peace of mind made it worth it.

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#7 of 9 Old 06-10-2011, 05:20 PM
 
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Quote:

I often wonder is Pre-Partum Depression is possible because I feel like something like that has set in this week, particularly.



I had really bad pre-partum depression the first 14 weeks of this pregnancy.  I'm 19 weeks now and it is a little better, but I wanted to share that it is not only possible, but a vicious reality for some of us expectant moms!  One concern is that it can be in indicator for post-partum depression, and I intent to have my placenta encapsulated, as it has been shown to be a powerful anti-depression remedy!  Hope it helps...

 

As for getting an ultrasound, it's all about weighing the possible benefits and the possible risks.  I have driven myself almost insane this pregnancy trying to figure out what I should do re: u/s, doppler, testing, etc.  It's so hard to navigate the prenatal options available to us, especially considering that we simply don't know all the information about these technologies.  But I think that in your case, the benefit of having some sort of confirmation of baby's health/knowlege of the gender/etc. far outweighs skipping the u/s.

 

Let us know how it goes!


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Catherine Anne "KJ" born November 10th, 2011

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#8 of 9 Old 06-15-2011, 10:06 AM
 
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We have a friend with a sweet little boy who has some heart problems that were detected over her 20 wk ultrasound.  He had surgery immediately after birth, and would not have lived without that surgery - but for now he is a growing little person and they can't imagine life without him.  (He will have to have a subsequent surgery when he grows a bit).

 

Just wanted to give at least one concrete example of what can be done with advance knowledge, in case that "you wouldn't do anything" only equaled that you wouldn't have an abortion. 

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#9 of 9 Old 06-20-2011, 11:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies. I haven't been online in quite some time. It should say that I am already 17 weeks along, so the thoughts of a loss are not what I have been having. Although I know it's possible, it's not something I am stressing about. My stress has tapered off some but I seem to be surrounded by women having terrible outcomes with their pregnancies and I think about those.

 

It comes to a point for me where I have reasons for the ways that I do things. When they overstep the line of peace and distress, I know I have to reinstate that stress. I have had bloodwork done and have no problems there. We also had one ultrasound at 6 weeks and that was fine, though early. I have talked with my husband and now the discussion is: Do we goto the Dr. we would rather not and have a full diagnostic or just go have a sweet 3d ultrasound done and if they see anything out of the ordinary, they will send a letter to our care provider?

No, we wouldn't do anything surgically in utero, probably. I don't know. We haven't been faced with it and I would have to weight the risks against the benefits. If the risks of a loss were high, I would likely avoid that. I have faith that things are okay. I am a worrier by nature so I find myself going back and forth. blush.gif At this point, we are going to wait until 20 weeks and reassess the situation. From there, we may decide to do the ultrasound. I just don't know now, at 17 weeks. We still haven't had the chance to hear the heartbeat. We will try next week and if we don't, then I will schedule the appt to give myself some peace!

Thanks again so much! I appreciate the responses!

 

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