Whew! I did it. DS#4's birth story (long) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 07-30-2011, 07:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think it all started a week before he was born, Sunday, July 17th. I started to have an emotional breakdown about this whole pregnancy and birth thing. I was crying uncontrollably and felt like I could not do any of it. After about 3 days I decided to call my mother and ask her to come a little early. We had planned for her to come on Wednesday, July 27th, because my 40 week due date based on my fertility chart and ovulation was Saturday, July 30th and all 3 of my other babies had come at 1 to 2 days past that. However, after my meltdown I decided maybe she should come a couple of days earlier. I realized that was a Monday so I asked if she could just come the weekend before that. So, she got here Saturday evening, the 23rd. Interestingly, my 40 week due date based on my LMP was the 24th. Looking back now, I think I must have known on some subconscious level that baby was coming soon.

I’d been having BH contractions for months but on Saturday morning, the 23rd, I woke up having more menstrual cramp type contractions. They went on throughout the day but weren’t regular or strong and not every one was like that. Sunday morning I woke up and the first thought in my head was, “I don’t want to have a baby anymore.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want my baby but that I was afraid of the pains of labor. I think that was another subconscious sign that baby was coming that day. I was having the menstrual cramp contractions all day and they seemed to be getting stronger and coming more frequently. At 4 pm I decided to start counting how many I was having an hour. I didn’t try to time them but I was counting to see if I was having more than 4 an hour for more than 4 hours, which is what I remember being told to look for by an OB when I was pregnant with my 2nd child. After about 2.5 hours I counted 5-7 contractions an hour and they were getting stronger so I asked my mom what she thought. She said she thought I should call my midwives. (“She later told my midwife that when I asked her that she knew it was time. Mothers always know.)

I called my midwives around 7:00 pm to ask them when I should call them. Haha! My midwife said not to wait 4 hours. They wanted to know if anything was happening sooner rather than later. So, I said, “Well, let me tell you what’s happening,” and I told her about counting my contractions. My midwife told me to eat dinner and try to get some rest and gave me a list of things to call back for right away. Around 8:30 pm she texted to check on me and said they’d stop by because they were be driving past me on their way home from another birth. By then my contractions were about 6-8 minutes apart and 1 minute long. At around 10:30 pm the contractions were definitely getting stronger. That’s when I finally decided that I must really be in labor. Up until that point I still wasn’t sure. I thought I still had another week to go. I emailed my husband to let him know that I thought I’d be having a baby soon in the hopes he could call. He’s a Marine and has been deployed to Afghanistan since the spring. As I was going back up the stairs I got very nauseous. I called to my mom to please bring me a bowl to vomit in just in case. Before I got all the way up the stairs my midwife and her assistants were here.

They came in and checked on me and got to setting things up, brought the tub in and got that set up but not filled yet. Then they all found places to lay down and get some rest since they’d been on a birthing marathon. I was the 3rd laboring woman they’d had in 3 consecutive nights so they were pretty tired.

I lost all track of time at that point. I tried laying in bed on my side and breathing through my contractions. I could get through them but they were getting more and more painful. When I got up to use the bathroom I discovered that the contractions were much easier to get through if I was standing up with my head leaning against the wall. So, I would lay down between contractions and stand up and lean against something as upright as possible during the contractions. That seemed contrary to what would work but it felt the best to me. At one point I went to the bathroom and got very nauseous. I was spitting excess saliva into the trash can but I did not actually vomit. During that time I got extremely hot so I stripped off my nightgown. I was heading into transition then. All the signs were there. I lost all my inhibitions. I was sweating profusely. I was scared and confused.

The tub was finally ready after some problems getting the faucet adapter to work. (Let that be a lesson to everyone. Don’t just eyeball the adapter. Take it out and make sure it fits your faucet. My midwives were lucky enough to just happen to find an extra adapter I had in a drawer, probably from my last homebirth over 4 years ago, when they were searching for a screwdriver.) I was so hot, though, that I did not want to get in the tub after all the work they went through to get it set up for me. My midwife blotted me with a wet washcloth and also fanned me with it. It was cooling but didn’t really feel good. I have no idea how much time passed but I think transition went pretty quickly, maybe only an hour.

I was in a lot of pain and very scared, crying and asking my midwife to help me. I was confused and didn’t know what to do. Eventually, I made my way to the floor on my hands and knees. Someone brought me an ottoman to support my upper body. I draped myself over that. My contractions were coming hard and fast now. I was screaming and crying and saying that I didn’t want to do it anymore, a sure sign that I was really close to the end. I got the urge to push and went with it as much as I could. I went back and forth between wanting to push and not wanting to push because it hurt. I eventually got to a point where I realized that the only way to stop the pain was to push the baby out. I cried the classic line, “Can’t you just pull him out?” several times. I would push a little and it hurt so bad that I’d stop. Then I’d realize it still hurt really bad and all I could do was push some more. At some point my water broke and my mucous plug shot out. I said, “What the hell was that?” Then I think baby started coming fast and furious. My midwife was checking his heart rate between contractions and it was slow. I was told to take slow, deep breaths, which worked. I could hear his heart rate immediately speed up with each breath.

I pushed out his forehead, then his eyes, then his nose and finally his entire head. I felt something really strange and thought my midwife was doing something. When I asked she said it wasn’t her. It was baby turning so his body would come out. It felt really strange. It didn’t really hurt but it didn’t feel good, either. One or two more pushes, I think, and he was out. What a relief!

It turned out his heart rate was dropping during contractions because the cord was around his neck. My midwife got it off and he was breathing but not as alert and moving as much as he could be. They gave him a little oxygen and rubbed him and he started crying and was good. I held him on my chest while I birthed his placenta, which took about a half hour.

After the placenta was out, I moved back to my bed to get more comfortable. I began to shake violently and uncontrollably. This is something that happens to me every time, although I never seem to remember it. It’s a horrible feeling. My muscles in my arms and legs felt like they were seizing and I couldn’t do anything about it. I just tried to breathe slowly and deeply to calm myself. My midwife and her assistants covered me and held me until it stopped. I don’t know how long that took. My mom says it was shock from all the hormones and adrenaline and exhaustion.

My 4 year old son cut his baby brother’s cord. Dylan didn’t nurse right away. I think it probably took about an hour or so after birth but he did eventually. He latched on like a champ and has been nursing well ever since. My placenta went into the refrigerator to be encapsulated.

It was amazing and excruciating and empowering and frightening all at the same time. I didn’t think I’d make it through even though I’d done it before but I did and am glad that I did. There is nothing more incredible than giving birth.

knit.gifSAHM to 3 boys and 1 man; 22 jammin.gif, 9REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, 5 FIREdevil.gifand now 1 year oldtoddler.gif!

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#2 of 18 Old 07-30-2011, 10:18 AM
 
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Congratulations mama!!! Hope you are able to get some rest.

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#3 of 18 Old 07-30-2011, 10:46 AM
 
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Good Job Mama! Enjoy your new son!

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#4 of 18 Old 07-31-2011, 12:09 AM
 
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joy.gif Welcome baby Dylan!

Love your story! Thanks for being honest and open about how you felt.

Annie wife v2.0 to DH and joyfully parenting DSS 18 jog.gif, DSD 15 knit.gif, DSD 14 banana.gif, DSS 12bikenew.gifand heart hero DD 2superhero.gif. angel1.gif 8/2010

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#5 of 18 Old 07-31-2011, 07:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you, everyone. Right after it was over, I couldn't believe I had done it even though I'd done it once before.

knit.gifSAHM to 3 boys and 1 man; 22 jammin.gif, 9REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, 5 FIREdevil.gifand now 1 year oldtoddler.gif!

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#6 of 18 Old 07-31-2011, 07:53 PM
 
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Congrats mama!  What a beautiful story.  Thanks for sharing - very inspiring.


Part time working mama to my awesome 2 yr old dd, and newborn ds hbac.gif

angel1.gif 8/08

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#7 of 18 Old 08-01-2011, 10:10 AM
 
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Congratulations!  Thank you for sharing your story :)


Mama to DS (6/07) h20homebirth.gif, DD (6/09) h20homebirth.gif, and DD (07/12) homebirth.jpg..

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#8 of 18 Old 08-01-2011, 10:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, everyone. I was a little worried about sharing because I didn't want to scare anyone. My births are definitely not the peaceful and easy ones like I've seen and read about.

knit.gifSAHM to 3 boys and 1 man; 22 jammin.gif, 9REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, 5 FIREdevil.gifand now 1 year oldtoddler.gif!

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#9 of 18 Old 08-01-2011, 08:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

Thanks, everyone. I was a little worried about sharing because I didn't want to scare anyone. My births are definitely not the peaceful and easy ones like I've seen and read about.



I actually appreciated your honesty in this area. I had one that was fairly peaceful and two that required screaming. After the first one, I thought maybe the midwives didn't hear women scream. Good to know that I'm not the only one they've heard scream.

 

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#10 of 18 Old 08-02-2011, 11:46 AM
 
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Congrats!! I am a fellow freaker-outer for transition and pushing really sucks and hurts so I "feel your pain"! I hope things continue to go peacefully for you! How are the other kids liking/handling the baby?


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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#11 of 18 Old 08-02-2011, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purplerose View Post

Congrats!! I am a fellow freaker-outer for transition and pushing really sucks and hurts so I "feel your pain"! I hope things continue to go peacefully for you! How are the other kids liking/handling the baby?


i realized i described the noises i made during transition and pushing a bit inaccurately. i wrote that i screamed, which i guess some interpreted as high-pitched screaming. that's not what it was like. i guess yelling is a better description. It was loud, guttural grunting/moaning/yelling.

My other kids are doing really well. We have a few issues at bedtime because they all want to cuddle with me and I only have 2 sides but we're working it out. They love their little brother. My 7yo has changed a couple of diapers and my 4yo loves to hold him. He says to me at least once a day, "I like your baby." I tell my 4yo the baby is his, too. He says he knows. So sweet. love.gif

knit.gifSAHM to 3 boys and 1 man; 22 jammin.gif, 9REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, 5 FIREdevil.gifand now 1 year oldtoddler.gif!

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#12 of 18 Old 08-02-2011, 01:59 PM
 
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Aww, that's so sweet!! My youngest will be almost 9 when I have this baby, but she's "helped" her uncle change diapers and she sits there on the bed next to the baby heaving and gagging LOL My teens can change diapers, though. I love how big bros/sisters are with tiny babies!


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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#13 of 18 Old 08-02-2011, 06:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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since you brought up older kids and babies, here's the sweetest pic of my oldest, who is 20 years old, with my youngest.

500

knit.gifSAHM to 3 boys and 1 man; 22 jammin.gif, 9REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, 5 FIREdevil.gifand now 1 year oldtoddler.gif!

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#14 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 03:08 AM
 
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Your birth story was beautiful. It all sounded normal to me. Emotions are part of the package deal. You did GREAT! Really, I am super impressed. Enjoy this precious newborn time. God bless you.

 

 

Susie


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#15 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 04:35 AM
 
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Beautiful picture! My MIL's oldest son was 18 when the youngest was born and I LOVE hearing all the stories about them all. There were 5 boys and they "spoiled" the baby. The family pictures are adorable, too, with the big teenage tough guys holding their baby brother.


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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#16 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 06:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you, susie

purplerose ~ it's a strange feeling to have my oldest move out just as me new baby is born.

knit.gifSAHM to 3 boys and 1 man; 22 jammin.gif, 9REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, 5 FIREdevil.gifand now 1 year oldtoddler.gif!

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#17 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 10:37 AM
 
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That's bittersweet :( My oldest is 16 and I'm due in the fall. Not as old as yours and some but it's a little strange thinking about it!


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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#18 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah, bittersweet is the perfect way to describe it. it's exciting that he's moving on to this new stage in his life but i miss him.

knit.gifSAHM to 3 boys and 1 man; 22 jammin.gif, 9REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, 5 FIREdevil.gifand now 1 year oldtoddler.gif!

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