Thinking about telling a lie to my midwife.... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 39 Old 11-18-2011, 03:29 AM
 
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Originally Posted by KmAndrews View Post

There are worse things in life than induction or C-section.  I realize that is not the trendy view right now.  The dangers of going over your due date are real.  Those standards were built on the experiences of injuries to babies and families who learned the dangers the hard way.  That is hard earned knowledge. Don't cheapen it.



And the dangers of birthing unnecessarily early due to inaccurate dating are also real, and frequently underestimated. Caregivers should not dismiss out of hand women's knowledge of their own cycles, when it is there. 


Jenrose, Mama to DD1, born 1993, DD2, born 2005, and DS1, Jan. 2012. Babywearing, cosleeping, homebirthing mom with fibromyalgia and hashimotos.  DD2 has a rare chromosome disorder. 

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#32 of 39 Old 11-18-2011, 12:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KmAndrews View Post

There are worse things in life than induction or C-section.  I realize that is not the trendy view right now.  The dangers of going over your due date are real.  Those standards were built on the experiences of injuries to babies and families who learned the dangers the hard way.  That is hard earned knowledge. Don't cheapen it.



I have to say, the 'trendy view' right now is C-sections.  The major groups addressing women's health issues are all saying the section rate is so high that the risks are more dangerous than the benefits.  They're setting goals to reduce the section rate for the safety of mothers and babies.  We've gone over the line on how often we section.  I believe part of it is the inductions at 39 weeks, or earlier, and this attitude that early births are somehow safer than full-term (which can vary from woman to woman depending on cycles).  

 

I think women should be honest with their caregivers, and caregivers should have the experience and knowledge to move forward.  Not many caregivers have experienced women delivering ANY babies after 42 weeks, but this does not mean that it is not a viable or healthy option for mother and child.  Choice needs to be given to the mothers.  Educated, aware, and supported choice.  Which is not currently a part of the system for many mothers.  

 


joy.gifSAHM and Holistic Health Counselor with  angel.gif 1/05, DS1 blahblah.gif 3/06, angel1.gif 5/07, DD1 dust.gif 3/08, DD2 thumbsuck.gif 11/09, DD3 energy.gif 4/11, and DS2 babyf.gif 2/13.  expecting a surprise stork-suprise.gif 8/14!
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#33 of 39 Old 11-19-2011, 05:08 PM
 
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 . . .

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#34 of 39 Old 11-19-2011, 05:12 PM
 
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 . . .

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#35 of 39 Old 11-19-2011, 10:38 PM
 
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No good will come from being dishonest. 

Your midwife should be able to trust you as much as you trust her. 

Breaking that threatens her ability to do her job for you and whats more, a mistake/complication made due to 

dishonesty only HURTs the reputation of your midwife and of homebirthing as a whole. 

 

This is going to sound harsh and "uncaring", however, a birthplan isn't more important than a child. If your plan has you ready to lie 

the person who advocates for you and your own family, I would re-evaluate why you want this.

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#36 of 39 Old 11-20-2011, 12:35 PM
 
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May I ask which country you are in? 

 

I'm in the UK and was told I wouldn't get supported to homebirth before 38 weeks or beyond 41+3. I started having contractions with my daughter at 37+4, I spent all morning on the phone arguing with midwives until they agreed that they would give me cover but of course by the time that was arranged the stress that stopped my contractions (she was eventually born at 39+4). I have a friend who dug in her heels and managed to successfully home waterbirth at 42+ weeks. I think she had to sign a waiver but she got her midwife cover in the end. 


mefly-by-nursing1.gif(30), DH (32), SAHM to DD (Jan '02), DS (Sept '08) and DD2 (Nov '09). homebirth.jpg, mostly familybed1.gif   MC Jan '09 & Sept '11,  pos.gif due 07/07/12signcirc1.gif

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#37 of 39 Old 11-22-2011, 10:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Niniel View Post

May I ask which country you are in? 

 

I'm in the UK and was told I wouldn't get supported to homebirth before 38 weeks or beyond 41+3. I started having contractions with my daughter at 37+4, I spent all morning on the phone arguing with midwives until they agreed that they would give me cover but of course by the time that was arranged the stress that stopped my contractions (she was eventually born at 39+4). I have a friend who dug in her heels and managed to successfully home waterbirth at 42+ weeks. I think she had to sign a waiver but she got her midwife cover in the end. 


Not the OP - but I'm in the UK and managed to get support for a homebirth up to 43 weeks.  No waiver needed - but was lucky enough to have a very progressive and evidence-based head MW at the hospital who 'handed down the law' to the MW group I was with.  They weren't all totally happy with it, but had to go along.  The AIMS website and homebirth.org are good sites, and from what I understand, in the UK they are legally obliged to provide you with HB cover, regardless, if you've given them notice of your intention to birth at home.  But it generally takes quite a lot of balls, going by the stories there - e.g. being prepared to argue your case over the phone while in labour, and basically going into a stand-off with them.  

 

I picked up a few pamphlets in the hospital when I went in for the 20 week scan, and the one on postdates pregnancies actually stated that evidence showed it was at least as safe to go with expectant management up to 43 weeks as to induce at 41+3weeks - and that's the official policy.  Unofficially, of course, you'll get a lot of pressure to induce, just because... Oh, and in my area I was told that the MWs could come out to a HB any time after 37 weeks - so quite a lot of it is relatively arbitrary.


Lisa - mama to Eleanor Rose 01/08 and Saoirse Lily 09/10
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#38 of 39 Old 11-23-2011, 01:26 PM
 
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That's wonderful!  Glad you found a solution!


joy.gifSAHM and Holistic Health Counselor with  angel.gif 1/05, DS1 blahblah.gif 3/06, angel1.gif 5/07, DD1 dust.gif 3/08, DD2 thumbsuck.gif 11/09, DD3 energy.gif 4/11, and DS2 babyf.gif 2/13.  expecting a surprise stork-suprise.gif 8/14!
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#39 of 39 Old 11-23-2011, 01:44 PM
 
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Another thread on this same subject, some slightly differing opinions and tone:

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1336673/should-i-fudge-the-date-of-my-lmp

 

 

I have gone very late every time, so I have had to negotiate in a variety of ways depending on place, midwife and which pregnancy (first, last, etc). I was totally prepared to lie, but thankfully, I didn't have to with my current MW.


rainbow1284.gifJess, mama to five boys joy.gif

 

 

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