fundraising ideas for single mom-to-be? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 15 Old 01-18-2012, 03:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
Rhythm Love's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

yeah i don't really need people debating with me about what i want for my birth experience, please stop replying to this, i'm done with this stupid website i found a better support group on another website. I cant believe some of you girls, its my decision and i was jst trying to see what options i had to try and figure out this all financially.

since i've posted this i have found a lot of help else where including a site that helps women get sponsors for homebirth. 

leave me alone just because i feel like i need a homebirth to prepare me for life as a single mom you are all gonna jump down my throat about it? thats terrible i'm going through so much right now, and this does not help my stress level. 

i dont know how to delete this thread so please stop posting i dont want to keep recieving emails.

 

 

and i meant that the placenta was important in general but especially since im a single mom because if i develope post pardom depression i am the ONLY one taking care of baby. i don't have a husband to help me because he left to go pursue his lifelong dream of getting drunk and smoking pot everyday. I needed suport from other mothers that could comfort me and perhaps suggest things to help like that site i found on my own.

and instead you just tell me i'm wrong, that something bad can happen, that i dont need it, and blah blah blah. its terrible when moms cant find support in other moms. 

Rhythm Love is offline  
#2 of 15 Old 01-18-2012, 03:32 PM
 
elus0814's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: where the air force says
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I would suggest checking around for midwifes that might be willing to lower their fee and/or barter with you. You could do work for them in exchange for money off their services. I think with the current economy it might be difficult for many people to justify giving money to someone for a want, no matter how important it is to that person, when there are so many going without needs. 

elus0814 is offline  
#3 of 15 Old 01-18-2012, 03:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
Rhythm Love's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by elus0814 View Post

I would suggest checking around for midwifes that might be willing to lower their fee and/or barter with you. You could do work for them in exchange for money off their services. I think with the current economy it might be difficult for many people to justify giving money to someone for a want, no matter how important it is to that person, when there are so many going without needs. 

I am TRYING here you don't have to put me down by telling me that my homebirth is only just a want and not a need.

it is a NEED to me.

if you don't have any useful suggestions and just want to put my idea down don't post then.


 

 

Rhythm Love is offline  
#4 of 15 Old 01-18-2012, 04:03 PM
 
elus0814's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: where the air force says
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Whoa there. 

 

You asked in your first post if anyone has any suggestions. I offered two suggestions on how to get closer to the birth you want without soliciting money, which doesn't seem to be working for you. I felt it was important to point out that the reason you have been disappointed in the amount of money you have received might be because what you're asking for is, in the opinion of most people, a want. Things like food and shelter are needs, alternative births are wants.

 

I fully understand where you're coming from, the thought of a hospital birth is scary and I'm sure it's difficult to explore that possibility. It is possible to have a happy hospital birth. One idea would be to drive to a rural hospital where there are only midwives and few options for interventions. I've done it when I wasn't able to have a homebirth, you have to do your homework and be assertive with how you want it to go but it's very possible. 

elus0814 is offline  
#5 of 15 Old 01-18-2012, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
Rhythm Love's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

i've already found a cheaper midwife (have yet to update the page) but the cheapest i could find is 4500.

we are currently trying to figure out if my dad can do advertising for her to see if she will take some off.

this is very difficult for me because i dont have the father helping me and the hospital doesnt let you keep your placenta, which is also something that is VERY important since i'm going to be a single mother. i only have the page up as a hope for maybe something but thats not the only avenue i'm exploring here. i dont know where a rural hospital would be in southern california? i'm in orange county.

Rhythm Love is offline  
#6 of 15 Old 01-18-2012, 04:24 PM
 
elus0814's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: where the air force says
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Going to a different hospital might mean driving a couple hours each way for prenatals and the birth but you could end up with a great midwife at no cost to you. 

 

It might be that the standard hospital policy is keeping the placentas to sell for medical research purposes. That doesn't mean that you don't have the right to keep it. You might have to put your request in writing and be sure to tell anyone and everyone that you will be keeping it. Hospitals make money off them and don't want to lose that money or have to deal with the hassle of something different.

 

Have you thought about a birth center that might be covered under your medical? Do you know anyone you can stay with in another area or part of the country where there might be a midwife or birth center willing to work with you on price and payments? The cost of a homebirth in southern california is probably much higher than it would be in, say, iowa. 

 

Try doing a search of these forums (there is a search bar near the top of the screen) for 'how to pay for homebirth'. There are lots of threads with great ideas. 

elus0814 is offline  
#7 of 15 Old 01-23-2012, 11:23 AM
 
iowaorganic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,292
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Bartering seems to work well for a lot of moms on here- but I know for me it wouldn't work out.  Garage sales, babysitting, etc would work better I would think. But really how about a part time job to fund the midwife?  But I do agree with PP on donations.  It is one of my dreams though to someday be able to sponsor moms for home births- it is a lovely thought!  

 

There are CNMs that should be covered under whatever your state medicaid is...  you might not have to travel far at all.  And if you do go with a hospital then just write up in your birth plan that you will be keeping your placenta and take a container to keep it in like a tupperware or something.  

 

But really I guess it comes down to this.  1.fnd the money to pay for a home birth   2.  go with a State sponsored hospital birth or 3.  go unassisted- which I can't even imagine doing.

 

 

Good Luck!

 


Iowaorganic- mama to DD (1/5/06), DS1 (4/9/07), DS2 (1/22/09), DS3 (12/10/10), DD2 (7/6/12) and a new kid due in early 2014

iowaorganic is offline  
#8 of 15 Old 01-27-2012, 12:16 PM
 
RunnerDuck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 1,358
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm just wondering if by uninsured you mean completely without access to medical coverage that would require you to stiff the hospital/doctor on the bill?  Are you hoping to have a (free) home birth to avoid obtaining state medical coverage of some sort?  I am only asking because, god forbid, you did have a home birth and something were to go wrong either immediately or in the days that followed, would you be able to seek medical care?


DS T 11/16/03 DDs K & E 3/28/08
nak DS S 4/1/11
RunnerDuck is offline  
#9 of 15 Old 01-28-2012, 02:11 PM
 
CrunchyWhenWet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhythm Love View Post

 the hospital doesnt let you keep your placenta, which is also something that is VERY important since i'm going to be a single mother. 



I've been lurking around on here for quite some time, not signing up until I felt I had something to add to the conversation.  However...this statement interests me.  What is the connection between being able to keep your placenta and being a single mother?  I am a married mother and keeping the placenta was extremely important to me as well.  I'm genuinely curious.

 

I do hope you are able to gather the funds needed for your homebirth or find a way to have the cost lowered.  It's a life-altering experience that every woman should have.

CrunchyWhenWet is offline  
#10 of 15 Old 01-28-2012, 08:08 PM
 
rnra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 583
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

What are you currently doing for work?

rnra is offline  
#11 of 15 Old 01-29-2012, 12:10 AM
 
Plummeting's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 6,383
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by elus0814 View Post
I fully understand where you're coming from, the thought of a hospital birth is scary and I'm sure it's difficult to explore that possibility. It is possible to have a happy hospital birth. One idea would be to drive to a rural hospital where there are only midwives and few options for interventions. I've done it when I wasn't able to have a homebirth, you have to do your homework and be assertive with how you want it to go but it's very possible. 


Absolutely it is. With my first, my husband was adamantly opposed to home birth. His concerns were reasonable (first baby, don't know how labor will go, etc.) so I went along with them. I found a fantastic midwife that I LOVED. I still keep in touch with her, and it's 7 years later and I've moved states twice since then. The birth was fantastic.



Quote:
Originally Posted by CrunchyWhenWet View Post



I've been lurking around on here for quite some time, not signing up until I felt I had something to add to the conversation.  However...this statement interests me.  What is the connection between being able to keep your placenta and being a single mother?  I am a married mother and keeping the placenta was extremely important to me as well.  I'm genuinely curious.


I was wondering about this, too.

 

I do think that perhaps, Rhythm Love, you are a bit over-invested in the idea that a successful home birth is somehow necessary for you to start your journey in single parenthood. That is not to say that I don't think you should have one or try to get one. I can't make any judgments about that. What I can say is that convincing yourself that this is what you NEED to empower you as a single mother could wind up backfiring. What if you attempt a home birth and transfer due to exhaustion? What if you can't even attempt a home birth because you develop preeclampsia or your baby is transverse? There are many things that could happen that could result in your planned home birth becoming a hospital birth, and if you have set yourself up to believe that this actually is a need for you, how will you feel if it doesn't work out? That's not a question I expect you to answer, of course, but it's something you really ought to think about. Starting off motherhood disappointed (in yourself? in your ability to mother? in your sense of accomplishment?) because you have put too much emphasis on the importance of your birth plan working out perfectly, only to have something mess up your plans, can't be good. I say that as someone who does greatly value the importance of an empowering birth experience. It's just that part of being empowered comes from accepting the fact that we actually can't control everything, no matter how much we want to. So regardless of whether you wind up able to afford a home birth or not, I would strongly suggest reconsidering whether having a home birth experience actually is something you need to be a strong, single mother.

 

Plummeting is offline  
#12 of 15 Old 01-30-2012, 02:47 PM
 
Plummeting's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 6,383
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhythm Love View Post

yeah i don't really need people debating with me about what i want for my birth experience, please stop replying to this, i'm done with this stupid website i found a better support group on another website. I cant believe some of you girls, its my decision and i was jst trying to see what options i had to try and figure out this all financially.

since i've posted this i have found a lot of help else where including a site that helps women get sponsors for homebirth. 

leave me alone just because i feel like i need a homebirth to prepare me for life as a single mom you are all gonna jump down my throat about it? thats terrible i'm going through so much right now, and this does not help my stress level. 

i dont know how to delete this thread so please stop posting i dont want to keep recieving emails.

 

 

and i meant that the placenta was important in general but especially since im a single mom because if i develope post pardom depression i am the ONLY one taking care of baby. i don't have a husband to help me because he left to go pursue his lifelong dream of getting drunk and smoking pot everyday. I needed suport from other mothers that could comfort me and perhaps suggest things to help like that site i found on my own.

and instead you just tell me i'm wrong, that something bad can happen, that i dont need it, and blah blah blah. its terrible when moms cant find support in other moms. 


Guess what? Telling you something bad could happen is telling you the truth. I'm not a "girl". I'm a 33-year-old woman. Part of growing up is accepting that life doesn't always go as planned. If you go to some other website, and they tell you that nothing can go wrong and you shouldn't even consider the possibility, they are lying to you. I've had one home birth and am planning another for this, my third child, and I live every day with the knowledge that I might end up with a hospital birth anyway. Being in denial of that fact is a bad place to be, and again, it leaves you in an even worse state if you do wind up with a hospital birth.

 

I never discouraged you from a home birth or from seeking funding for one. I am not at all invested in where some stranger online chooses to birth her baby. I simply suggested that you might want to reevaluate the idea that a successful home birth is something you NEED in order to be a successful single mother. It would be a scary place to find yourself if you didn't get that, after spending 9 months telling yourself you absolutely had to have it. Suggesting that you might not have a successful home birth is not telling you something bad can happen in the same way as the neighbors next door who think home birth is automatically a bad or dangerous idea. I didn't say, "You might DIE!" or "Your baby might die!" I said you might choose to transfer due to exhaustion, or you might need to skip the home birth due to preeclampsia. Sure, those aren't great things, but horrible, awful? No, not really. Reality. In fact, a younger woman who is pregnant with the child of a man she is no longer with is more likely to develop preeclampsia. It's a statistical fact. It might not happen to you, but you ARE at higher risk, like it or not. A first time mother DOES have a greater likelihood of transferring for all sorts of reasons. That's a reality, whether you like it or not.

 

I would suggest to you that the people who are honest with you are the ones who are being supportive. Everyone else is just stroking your ego. I hope you get a home birth. I hope it's not financially impossible. I hope it is successful and works out wonderfully. But I also darn well hope you have a back-up plan that doesn't involve you starting your life as a mother convinced you missed out on something you desperately NEEDED to be a good mom. THAT is what support looks like.

 

Plummeting is offline  
#13 of 15 Old 01-31-2012, 11:06 AM
 
joycnm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 46
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I thought this was a forum for mature adults, not children.  How do the moderators allow comments like "I'm done with this stupid website...", "Leave me alone..."  "Stop posting, I don't want to receive e-mails...", "blah, blah, blah...."  This sounds like an immature teenager that sure needs help and was getting some very considerate comments and she turns around and insults the posters.

joycnm is offline  
#14 of 15 Old 02-01-2012, 09:15 AM
 
elus0814's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: where the air force says
Posts: 769
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have a feeling she was posting here to try and direct people to her solicitation site - she wanted money, not advice. I hope whatever website she found that gives out money to people who want homebirths works out for her. 

elus0814 is offline  
#15 of 15 Old 02-03-2012, 11:09 AM
Administrator
 
adinal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 24,776
Mentioned: 14 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 64 Post(s)

I'm closing this thread.  Whether the OP was looking for donations, or simply good advice, it seems she is done with the thread.


winner.jpg Adina knit.gifmama to B hearts.gif 4/06  and E baby.gif  8/13/12 (on her due date!) homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpg

 

adinal is online now  
Closed Thread

Tags
Homebirth

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off