Midwives: How do you support the partner - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 04-16-2012, 12:53 PM - Thread Starter
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Bit of back story. My partner and I are going to start trying for a baby. We are a blended family, Ive given birth twice and she has given birth twice - but we have decided she will birth our 5th baby.


I had a hospital birth (which was not at all pleasant) for my first and then a UC, she had a homebirth transfer with her first and a homebirth for her second - both with midwives. I've never had a midwife.


Because I know what birth is like, and because I am mourning the fact that I will never give birth again (as much as I so desperately want to), I want to be involved with the birth and the birth preparations as much as possible.


Every birth story Ive read, mostly, and from reading blogs by midwives it's always about supporting the labouring mother - making sure she is all right, at peace etc etc.


So, as a midwife how do you support the partner? Make sure they're involved? Make sure they are part of the experience rather than just a bystander there to do cleanup or stay out of the way of the focussed mother?


What questions do you think would be helpful to ask prospective midwives to ensure we will get one who will support me, who will remember that I know what its like to birth, and who will see me as just as valuable as the mother?

Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013

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#2 of 3 Old 04-16-2012, 01:41 PM
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I think the thing to do would be to ask midwives you're interviewing the same questions that you listed here.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds
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  11yo dd
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 9yo ds and 7yo ds
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and 2yo ds 
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#3 of 3 Old 04-25-2012, 02:27 PM
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Definitely ask these very same questions when interviewing your potential midwife.  Also express to them your wishes in how you want care given to you both.


As a midwife I always hope to support the mother and partner as a dyad, seeing them as one unit.  I feel that partners are the best caregivers for the mother and that I as the midwife support them in working together toward the birth of their baby.  Of course I always go with the partners ability to be involved and never force involvement they are not interested in. 


You should find that the midwife that you seek will be open to your attendance at all prenatals, and will actively engage you as well as the mother in the care being given.


Good luck in finding the right Midwife for your family.

Tia Rich, LDM, CPM

Oregon Midwife 

Tia Rich LDM, CPM

Oregon Midwife

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