I am new here :)
Hoping for some advice from some experienced homebirthers.
My first baby was born totally natural (inspite of being induced) free from any medicated "pain management" with a great midwife in our local hospital. It was a very positive experience, but now that I have gone through it I want to have a home birth with my second baby (due in Nov).
Sam will be almost 3 yrs old (just 3 mos shy of his birthday) when this new baby comes and I am looking for advice and/or stories from other moms who had babies at home with their other children there..
how did they handle it
was it scary for them
how did you prepare them
what ages were they
do you think Sam is too little to understand
Thanks SO much for anything you have to share :)
My 4th child was a home birth. My other kids were 10, 9 and 5 at the time. I had them all home and hoped they'd be in the room when she was born but I left it up to them and they didn't want to be in the room when she was delivered. They came in right after.
I think as long as you have a person looking after your child and a place for them to go if they don't want to be in the same room, you'll be fine.
As long as you have an open mind and no set plan that they must be there should be okay. You need a care giver who can take them home or out if they feel it's too much or you feel it's too much.
I didn't prepare besides the fact that they knew I was going to have a baby. Lucky for me my babies come when they are mostly sleeping.
If you have someone who you don't mind attend the birth just in case you might want your child some where else that wouldn't hurt. I just had my husband and I didn't care for anyone else to be there. I am more a private person.
I had all of my 3 kids at home. My first was 2.5years when the 2nd one was born, we was lucky in that we didn't have to do anything because she came 1:30am and so he was sleeping, if he woke depending on his mood my husband could have just held him or take him in a room.
Now for my 3rd one, I had a 4.5year and a 23month old. They slept for most of it(since it started around 3am). I think they was up for the last half hour. My husband let the 4.5y.o. one play a game and he held the 23month old in his hand so I think she saw most of the ending. After the baby came they was excited to see him. They are now 5 1/2, 3 and 15months.
They seemed to be fine with what ever they saw. The older one never talked about it and the younger one never did any gestures as to what she saw. So they wasn't scared. I think it may depend to on how the labor is going if your child see you are in extreme pain then they may get scared. It is painful and I just buried my head in a pillow when I felt I needed which was just for the some of the pushing stage.
I've had two home births, my daughter was 2 when my son was born. He was born right before she woke up that morning. I couldn't believe that she slept through that (I um...tend to be a little loud...well...REALLY REALLY loud lol). I think she would have been a little worried being in the room, but with daddy there and the midwife and doula I think she would have been comforted and it would have been just fine. I'll allow them both in the room (as long as someone keeps them from asking me questions during pushing lol) next time...if they're awake :)
My son was 19 months when DS2 was born at home. He stayed with my all throughout the labour, in the begining he thought we were pretending to be farm animals on our hands and knees groaning (and he 'mooing'), so he was fine. He did begin to understand I was in pain near the end, and he rubbed my hair and fed me ice-chips until my sister arrived to keep him company. But he was never afraid or worried, and never mentioned anything after the birth.
I've given birth in a hospital and at home, and the difference in my comfort level was astounding. I felt so much more in control and comfortable at home, it really helped me focus and deal with the pain. I look back to my hospital birth and there was no way I would have been in any state of mind to think of anyone else in the room. At home however, I knew my way around, what furniture could support my weight, what I could and couldn't sit on, who was wandering outside my room, etc. I felt so much more comfortable, and was really able to consider my actions, and how DS1 might be feeling.
We are having another home birth in January, and DS1 will be 3.5, so he will understand more of what is going on. I plan to have my sister in the house, I prefer they not see the actual pushing/delivery.
Happy wife of Mr. Rabbit; proud momma to DS1 (07.07.09), DS2 (02.11.11) and expecting baby #3 01.27.13.
DD was 2y9m when DS was born, so almost exactly your son's age. She was really great during labor, my midwife had brought her 8mo, so DD played with her for a while. I was in the tub for a while, and she got in with me to play, and then I got out and she got freaked out because there was a floater. I nursed her (at 10cm - yeah, don't do that! The contraction from that was insane!) and she calmed down, and DH drew her another bath while the midwife delivered DS. I should add, she was not in the room when I actually had DS. Afterwards, she was enthralled by the new baby at that point and it was so peaceful, and natural. We are planning another homebirth and I wouldn't have the kids miss it for anything.
My kids will be here this time, the girls want to be there, they are 3 and 5. The boys will probably stay upstairs if they're awake and just come down after. They're not wanting to be there.
Jennifer, LPN and nursing student, Doula, CPST, and VBAC mama x3 to
AJ (5/03), Evan (12/04), Ilana (11/06), Olivia (2/09), and Unity (8/2012)
My DS, age 3 then, was around when his little brother was born, we had a friend babysit him and help out around the house during labor. They mostly stayed in other rooms. He wasn't scared or anything, but wanted someone who was not busy to play with him. He saw some youtube videos of homebirths beforehand. I told him I'd have to work hard for a while to get the baby born and may make noise, and my belly would be squeezing hard. They were asleep for the actual birth about midnight. Now the boys are 3 and 6 and we're having another, I expect I'll have a friend come play with them to keep them busy this time too, or maybe a doula-in-training or something if no friends are available.