Where I live, home birth is being challenged and the midwife I was seeing will not deliver my baby at home. This is my second pregnancy. My son was born in a hospital and the nurses/doctors were rude and rough. They did not have any faith in me or my body. I ended up with pitocin, Demerol, and an awful episiotomy. Not the worst that could happen, I know. But none of it was necessary and I was traumatized. This time around I don't even want to go that route. Right now I am casually seeing a midwife/Ob team at a near by hospital, although I feel that is unnecessary also and just a huge ball of stress for me and therefore my baby. My husband and I are secretly preparing for an unassisted home birth. Only telling those who support us (my sister, who had a home birth, and my mother are all supporters)
I'm asking all mothers who have had a home birth with a midwife to share if they think they could have made it without one. I'm also asking mothers who have birthed unassisted (planned or not) whether they would do it again. I've read tons of birth stories and I'm not interested in reading a ton more. I'd just like to know how experienced homebirthers feel about being unassisted.
I personally feel prepared mentally,physically, and spiritually for this.
Although my midwife didn't arrive until 5 minutes before my dd was born, my dd had a lot of fluid in her lungs, and my midwives expertise helping her to breathe and keeping an eye on her for hours after the birth was worth it to me. I'm experienced in CPR, but I wouldn't have had the oxygen needed, nor would I have had the background to know what's normal etc. I also would probably have taken my dd to get checked out if we wouldn't have had our midwife.
That said, my midwife had never seen a baby with so much fluid in her lungs, so our situation wasn't normal. My dd descended through my pelvis and was born during only one contractions, and she never got a good squeeze.
If I was in your situation for my next child, and my dh was on board, I would probably go unassisted if no underground midwives were available. Or I would check myself into the hospital during the pushing phase if my dh wasn't on board.
Happily married to my soul mate, and a mommy of two girls + another baby due in June!
I have had one successful homebirth and I'm planning on my second this summer. As much as it sucks, if I suddenly lost access to my HB midwives I would go to the hospital before I would go unassisted. I am pretty educated about birth (the u/s tech was surprised I knew what velamentous insertion of the cord was) but I nothing compares to the 1,000's of births my midwives have attended.
Mumma to DS July 2010 and expecting another baby boy late July 2012
Having had 2 kids, if I had to, I would UC, but knowing how intense things get and how even though it's a natural thing birth is not a normal everyday occurrance and rarely goes "textbook", I liked the assurance of a midwife confirming everything's ok.
Nope, I'd do what LittleBirdy said and go to the hospital as late as possible before I'd UC. I support those who do UC but I had a pretty difficult homebirth with DS (asinclytic, cervical lip, midwife has to use her fingers as forceps, cervical swelling, tearing, and lots of bleeding).
However, you said YOU feel prepared for a UC. If you trust that feeling and are very educated on birth, it's all up to you. Make a decision you can be at peace with!
Me: Sarah, married to: J, mommy to: C (8/10) and E (11/12)
I would not. Where I live, midwives are licensed to do homebirths and are well integrated into the hospital setting as well. My personal experience birthing at home was fabulous, but also required emergency care for me afterward. I would not hesitate to birth at home again, but not without professional care.
I wouldn't have a planned unassisted birth. Not because I don't trust my body, but because who knows what could happen? My son was born with the cord wrapped tightly around his neck and arms multiple times, my husband and I just froze while our midwife sprang into action. She had troubles getting the cord off of him, I couldn't imagine my DH and I being able to do that while also being scared and shocked.
Wife to DH (12.10.2009), Anchorage based doula , Proud mama to Autumn (09.03.2008), Sylas (04.25.2010), (06.11.2012), Calliope(04.23.2013) .
No, I wouldn't plan an unassisted birth. And I have had one, unplanned, which was successful.
My second birth was a planned midwife/hospital birth. I had an unusually short labor that caused me to give birth alone and unassisted. I was very lucky and I grateful that there weren’t complications.But it is not, ever, something I would choose. My body was awesome. My delivery was awesome. But more awesome would have been having someone there for if the awesomeness...wasn't.
This birth is a planned homebirth with a midwife with extensive homebirth experience.
I almost did on accident last time, since the midwife barely made it, but I wouldn't do it on purpose. I'm pregnant now and the midwife has plans to leave IMMEDIATELY if I even think I'm in labor. Everyone is different though, so if you're looking for more affirmative answers, just check out the Unassisted board. :)
Oh, but I would use an underground, experienced midwife if midwifery were illegal in my state. I'd do that before going unassisted.
i have had a planned uc, but wouldn't again. my birth after that was a midwife assisted homebirth. nothing bad happened, i just feel it's not for me anymore. i also feel lucky nothing bad happened. after having a midwife for the next one i started feeling like i am lucky nothing went wrong when i uc'd.
drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.
No I wouldn't UC. I've had 2 homebirths and am currently planning a 3rd. Both mine have had some problems getting out, stuck under my pubic bone with first (pushed for 2.5 hours) and the second was stuck at the shoulders after his head was out. I love my midwives, they are amazing and I can't imagine doing it without them.
And in my state midwives who practice homebirth aren't exactly 'legal'. Mine are CPM's certified in another state, and practice very openly, but it's still a risk for them.
I have had two planned HBs. The first was a hospital transfer that was not necessary. The second was a HB with a fair amount of intervention for the baby following birth. I have never considered UC - it's not for me. My personal feeling is that birth is painful and difficult in order to draw support to the mother and child.
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Not for me..I've had 3 planned homebirths, 2 unplanned hospital births, and am about to have my first planned hospital birth due to my midwife no longer practicing and we liked the ob more than our other prospects. My husband would be totally fine with uc though if that is what I wanted or if we did not make it for whatever reason.
No, but only because I really need support during transition and pushing (and honestly I'm fairly certain at this point that this has to do with some stuff in my past, not with any current reality). I do secretly hope for a super short labor with an accidental UC (there is something so appealing about it being just DH and I). I just don't feel like it's something I can plan for given my own issues. I am very lucky though. I have an awesome HB MW who is willing to be super hands off. If I decide at the last minute I want her in the other room no where near me, she's good with that.
I really admire people who UC and I think it just depends on the person and the particular pregnancy. I would seriously consider a UC (and probably do it) if a homebirth with a midwife wasn't an option for some reason. As long as I'm low risk, hospitals are out of the question for me (too hard for me mentally but obviously I'd just have to deal in the event of an emergency or high risk situation where baby would be safer there).
Mama to DS (6/07) , DD (6/09) , and DD (07/12) ..
No. I like the added safety a midwife can offer, and someone to support me and remind me I can do this.
It sucks you might have to choose between UA and a hospital birth.
Any independent midwives available? How about a birth centre?
But I do agree with the quote that " every woman knows how & where to birth"
So for me, that's what I know I need.
Good luck with your decision.
I will add that I love the idea of it and just being alone with my husband. I think I might be less inhibited. But safety wise, I just don't feel that I would be okay if something went wrong and I had made that decision.
eta... I think *every* woman no matter what her birth philosophy needs to be prepared for the possibility of an accidental uc.
There are absolutely no midwives around that would assist my home birth. I spent the first two trimesters of this pregnancy searching, and searching, and searching. I've interviewed multiple hospitals already and all are very high in intervention and csections rates. I was very lucky to even find a midwife at a hospital near by. Although I wouldn't really call her a midwife. My first appointment with her she told me to just have a csection and get it over and done with. She was completely serious. She also looked at me like I had two heads when I said I wanted a natural birth.
All birthing centers are over an hour away.
Everything in the universe seems to be pointing me in the direction of a home birth, an unassisted home birth. The thought of being alone seems so peaceful to me. It's obviously hard painful and sometimes scary work, but it's what our bodies were made for. I also will have the support of my husband, sister, and mother if I want. And the hospital is only 20 minutes away if something goes wrong.
I would never knowingly put my babies life in danger if I were high risk, breech, or if I had placenta problems.
I posted this thread in "home birth" and in "unassisted childbirth" and it's so crazy the differences in opinion.
Thank you all for your thoughts.
An hour away for a birth centre does not sound too far for me, unless you deliver quickly.
Given the horrible rate of C-sections at your local hospitals, I would at least research UA (are there stats on safety and can you live with the risk profile?)
Are you a vbac? It didn't sound like it from the first post, so that is just insane and really sad for her clients. At some point I would definitely say the risks of hospital birth (very high section rate or something like that) outweigh the risks of unassisted and would opt for one. Thankfully I am not in that position, but I totally understand your reasoning. It really sucks I'm sure. I am really glad to be in a state where I do have a lot of options for care.
I think I am in pretty good hands with my current OB but their protocol is I get whoever is on call when I go in, so I am still hesitant with that. We are 30 minutes or so out from the hospital but there is a hotel 2 minutes away and I am thinking about going and getting a room to be close by but not going in until I am really close to the birth, just to avoid all the early stuff.
Have you expanded your search to neighboring states (mine comes from out of state)? Some of the mamas on Finding your tribe may be able to help you. I don't think I would intentionally UC. My midwife is hours from me though- so I know it is a definite possibility though. My first 3 births went pretty smooth really and my last was at home with my MW and for some reason I developed a cervical lip that would not go away. So I kind of went in and out of transition for a few days without my water ever breaking. I don't know how long I would have put up with that before I would have given up and went to the hospital. I also love having someone to take care of me and the baby who knows what she is doing :) I do agree with the other posters that it is very appealing to just have it be DH and I. I also completely agree that if you are both comfortable with the idea- you shouldn't let us influence you.
Iowaorganic- mama to DD (1/5/06), DS1 (4/9/07), DS2 (1/22/09), DS3 (12/10/10), DD2 (7/6/12) and a new kid due in early 2014
I also wanted to add that some midwives will assist you if 'you' go out of state. I know of a state by me where the climate is so hostile for home births that the mamas must drive across the border to deliver. I would be fine with this as well since generally speaking you have some time to get in the car and go even a couple of hours away....
Iowaorganic- mama to DD (1/5/06), DS1 (4/9/07), DS2 (1/22/09), DS3 (12/10/10), DD2 (7/6/12) and a new kid due in early 2014
I didn't have a csection with my first birth. Her reasoning was that I had a long labor (21 hrs from the first contraction. I don't really call that long especially for a first time momma) with a 7lb baby and my body might not be able to birth a baby any bigger. haha.
I also think it's funny that none of the libraries around me even carry books about home birth or anything like it. The only books they carry are "natural childbirth for dumbies" and "home birth in the hospital".
I could go out of state to my sisters house and deliver there with the midwife she had, and that's definitely another possibility for us. I've also thought about the a hotel room for laboring before I go to a better hospital further away or even a birth center...but in a hotel who knows what kind of germs are there. gross.
I might even labor at home as long as possible then transfer, but I don't even want my baby being born into that environment. Hospitals are so cruel to mothers and infants.
Eh, my first was a 36-Hour labor with a 7 1/2ish lb. baby. My fourth baby was 9lbs. 12oz. and much shorter labor. 5th was also over 9lbs. and with a big head. No problems birthing either of them and no correlation between their size and length of labor.
No. I've had two homebirths, one that went off without a hitch and another that had some complications. Similar to a previous poster, I had a very fast birth and my son was born needing to be resuscitated and receive and oxygen. My midwife handled it appropriately, but if I had been by myself without access to her equipment (like an oxygen tank), things could have gone very poorly. My little boy who turns one in a few weeks could have serious developmental delays and brain damage if he hadn't had access to the oxygen he needed at birth.
No, I wouldn't. For me personally, when I give birth I'm not in a place to be making "rational" well-thought out decisions. I kind of check out - and just act based on instinct. I wouldn't want the added pressure of having to give birth and be responsible for the things a midwife would do.
I think if I were in your position I would do everything I could to have a skilled birth attendant - even if it meant going to my sister's house, or some other option out of state. I empathize with you because you are in a tough spot - and it doesn't sound like there are any easy options for you. But that being said - you really have to do what you feel most comfortable with.
Mama to DS (March 2010) and DD (June 2012)
No, I wouldn't.
I had a pitocin induced birth with DD with midwives in a hospital (had planned for a birth center, was "risked" out after water broke with no onset of labor). Anyway, my birth was great with DS. We had a homebirth. I actually was like (during labor), "Wow, I can really see why people go unassisted, it would be great to just not call the midwife." Right around then was when DP knew to call the midwife, lol.
Anyway, my water broke and I had agreed the midwife apprentice could deliver. I was immediately pushing and then it became clear there was a "problem." It ended up that DS had passed meconium and had the cord wrapped around his chest, then around his chest and shoulders and then also around his neck! He ended up getting stuck with just a bit of his head out. The midwife took over, was able to get him out--- he was blue and limp. She was soooooo calm. He was pinked up and breathing by the 3 minute apgar and everything was wonderful. I was so glad to not be in the hospital but I was also soooo thankful for the midwife. We would have not know how to handle it and wouldn't have even known there was a problem (DD took hours to push out, so I wouldn't have known there was an issue that quickly).
I understand there are tragedies that happen. I just feel *for me* that they would increase without a professional.