Another "How to deal with negative comments" thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 06-19-2012, 12:37 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi Mummas,


I am sure we have had a few of these threads, but I can't find any recent ones.

How do YOU deal with the negative feedback when people learn of your past/future HB or UC? (Walk away? Outsmart them? Go along with it? "Pass the pepper please.", anger?)


I have been running into more and more as I am getting more set into the decisions that I am making for this pregnancy/birth/child/parenting. I have my own ways of dealing with it, but sometimes still get knocked off my feet.


SO! How did/do/will you deal with the negative feed back people? (Specifically YOU)


And what are your favourite verbal/physical "comebacks" to it? wink1.gif

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#2 of 5 Old 06-19-2012, 10:40 AM
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I didn't get a ton of negative comments, but i found just answering the doubts confidently, and moving the conversation on worked the best.

The only time anyone kept on me about something was when I sounded doubtful/unsure of the asnwer.

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#3 of 5 Old 06-19-2012, 10:55 AM
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Well, I  haven't told anyone that I thought might be unsupportive of our choices. What others think about me plays a huge role in my confidence, and I am learning as I get older to take care of myself. I have certain people in my life, such as dh and my mom who are huge supporters of me choosing this route for both the good of my baby and me. (Although my mom is still a bit worried). 

There are others, like my MIL, who just wouldn't understand and she would probably be consumed with fear. 

I have tried very hard to deal with my feelings surrounding the safety of homebirth. I needn't defend it to anyone but myself when it comes down to it, because the person who matters during delivery, is not the others who have thoughts, concerns, questions, etc. but me!

2cents.gif Just my 2 cents. And, also how I have learned to handle these things. 

I hope you can find a way that works for you also.  Best wishes. 

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#4 of 5 Old 06-19-2012, 12:42 PM
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Well, I like to point out that no one has contracted MRSA or flesh-eating bacteria at my house (both of which have happened to women delivering babies at my local hospital). I also state that I've done my research, and that my midwife has attended literally a thousand births. One thing that helped me feel confident was that I grew up in a community where everyone (except for one VERY premature boy) was born at home--about 50 kids, all healthy, including twins, breeches, Down's, etc. One lady, a pediatric nurse, told me that my community must have been "extraordinarily lucky," but most people feel like they're really putting your culture down when you frame it that way.


Having had one baby at home, no one has told me that I won't be able to handle the pain or whatever with #2, because obviously, I can.

Mama to Silas Anansi, born 9/9/10 and Petra Eadaion, born 10/1/12.

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#5 of 5 Old 06-21-2012, 04:13 AM
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I just wouldn't talk to them about that subject again until after birth. told them we decided to keep all medical pritate. HIPA law in USA is what I claimed to them after they started knocking. now that is done, I have told story and they see things very differant. most people I just didn't tell until after because I knew they would think it unsafe. didn't want to be put in fight or flight mode because of their comments of dought. I didn't dought we could UC but I would have been on defence as people here think my DH and I are very weird for the things we do...natural whole food organic garden, no Dr unless really bad problem

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