I'm 18 years old, 28 weeks pregnant with my first. I'm planning on having a home birth. My older sister has had 3 home births, and it's something I strongly agree with. I'm really excited about having this baby and so is my partner. I was wondering if anyone had any Tips, and or Helpful advice that they would like to pass on to me. I'm starting to feel over whelmed be it all; the labour, the pain, things going wrong, the mid wife not getting here on time .. Any words of advice?
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I would just spend plenty of time on the MDC homebirth page. Look back through old posts and you'll get a ton of info. I also liked the book Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.
I wouldn't worry too much about the midwife not arriving on time for your first baby. It's possible, but it's really unlikely for a first baby. Heck, it's actually pretty unlikely for any baby, but especially a first. My helpful advice is something that a lot of people probably disagree with, but having had three babies, NONE of whose births went anything like I anticipated, I think one of my best pieces of advice is not to overly plan anything. Just don't get any ideas in your head about how it's going to go, because you never know. My first daughter was born at 38+1, when I had fully anticipated going past 40 weeks. I planned on pushing in a squat or on hands and knees, but both of those positions felt horrible when the time came and I pushed on my side. Since she was early, I expected my second daughter to be early, but she was born right on the EDD the OB gave me and a couple days before the one the midwife gave me, so not early at all. She was really fast - a lot faster than I expected. I ended up having her in the tub, lying almost flat on my back because she was so fast and it hurt so much I couldn't move. I never wanted to push flat on my back, but that's what happened, and it was my choice. My third daughter I expected some time between 38 and 40 weeks, but she came a few days late, and I had her in the (empty! - I made them drain the water because I hated it) bathtub after spending my entire labor pacing my house (I was quiet and didn't want to move for my other labors).
Basically, my point is that every labor is different, you can't control what will happen, and overly planning things is likely to result in you being disappointed if it doesn't work out how you anticipated. Just go with the flow. Have some music you might like, have some snacks, have some comfy clothes for if you want them, but plan that you might also be hot and naked, then know that you will do whatever feels best when the time comes, and it might not be anything you anticipated in advance. It will work out however it will work out. Don't sweat it, other than reasonable planning. :)
Welcome to MDC and congratulations! I had my first at 19, saw an OB and planned a UC but transferred during a long but healthy labor. Since you haven't done this before your midwife will be a great resource to remind you everything is going fine even when it gets intense and challenging, and just in case to spot any problems that might need correction. Watch homebirth videos and read a lot so you have a good idea of what's normal and how birth works. Having plenty of ways to cope with the intensity of labor is great: different positions, being in water, counterpressure, relaxation, meditation, hypnosis. Once you have all those in your back pocket and labor gets going, all you really need to do is surrender to it and let your body do its thing.
I second the recommendation to read Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. It is a beautiful description of what birth is like, and for me had many tips that I plan to try during labor.
Spend a lot of time perusing the homebirth and even unassisted birth stories, there are some really incredible ones out there that for me helped calm any fears that I had that my body might not be capable. Good luck!
Good luck, it sounds like you're going to be a very mindful and conscious mama. I recommend hanging out on the homebirth forum here, as well as reading books- Birthing from Within is great, any Ina May Gaskin books are great, and I like Sheila Kitzinger a lot, too. Just look for books that focus on birth as a natural, normal event, not an emergency.
Single mama to an only born November 2012.
Co-sleeping, vaxing, baby-wearing, sometimes cloth diapering, car seat safety advocate. Still nursing with no end in sight
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