DH is not sure about homebirth because he thinks it will be messy - Mothering Forums

DH is not sure about homebirth because he thinks it will be messy

StudyingStones's Avatar StudyingStones (TS)
06:10 PM Liked: 20
#1 of 23
06-22-2012 | Posts: 191
Joined: May 2012
Hi,

My DH and I have been discussing a homebirth for our next child. He doesn't seem to have any problems with the idea, except that he thinks it will be very messy. I told him there isn't that big of a mess and he replied "I looked down when DS was coming out and it was really messy", and I really have no response because I couldn't see anything from my angle at the time. (DS was a hospital birth).

So, how messy is it? Once we become pregnant I will ask the midwife to discuss his concerns with him, but I'd love to hear your stories/opinions.

Thanks!
GnomeyNewt's Avatar GnomeyNewt
06:23 PM Liked: 0
#2 of 23
06-22-2012 | Posts: 224
Joined: Jun 2004
I don't remember that big of a mess, however I just gave birth so I could care less smile.gif. Whatever mess there was, it wasn't there when I woke up the next morning and it didn't get all over our bed or stain anything. I remember a load of laundry being done, but that's it. Second birth was in water, only mess was draining the tub!

I would imagine each birth produces different amounts of items to clean up, but definitely talk to your midwife about it. The mess was minimal, most women don't walk around the house smearing themselves on every surface. It is quite contained to where you birth and your midwife and DH and/or helper can quickly deal with anything.
fruitfulmomma's Avatar fruitfulmomma
06:37 PM Liked: 32144
#3 of 23
06-22-2012 | Posts: 4,198
Joined: Jun 2002
Messier than having children in the house? Disposable chux pads can be used to cover the birthing area and take about a minute to throw away. Postpartum bleeding is always messy for me and that is going to happen no matter where you birth - get a waterproof mattress cover and a couple of cloth chux pads to lay directly under your bum. Anyway I am sure it varies with births, my last one was pretty messy, she broke her sack as she was coming out and it sprayed the midwife but the chux caught everything, bed did not get wet. It was all cleaned up and gone within a few minutes of birth and they changed my sheets before they left.
JamieCatheryn's Avatar JamieCatheryn
06:45 PM Liked: 1295
#4 of 23
06-22-2012 | Posts: 5,068
Joined: Dec 2005

I was kneeling on the rug when ours was born, laid on my bed for a couple of exams through the course of things also. The underpads and a couple towels caught everything with ours, a bit of leaking fluid on sheets so those needed a change. Trashbag of the pads taken out and a load of laundry washed, and placenta bagged and in the freezer then all was normal besides a new baby to spit up and poop all the time and changing of my pads.


artekah's Avatar artekah
07:15 PM Liked: 222
#5 of 23
06-22-2012 | Posts: 1,120
Joined: Apr 2009
It's not too messy. One trash bag of dirty chux pads and gloves and whatnot. One load of laundry--towels and washcloths. A couple drips of blood on the floor in the hallway from bedroom to bath, quickly and easily cleaned with paper towels. Midwives started the washing machine and hauled away the trash bag. Zero cleanup for us. (Except maybe we had to start the dryer, don't remember...)
linnea27's Avatar linnea27
07:19 PM Liked: 11
#6 of 23
06-22-2012 | Posts: 38
Joined: Sep 2011

I don't recall much of a mess. I had a home waterbirth. When getting out of the tub I bled a little bit onto the floor, but one of the midwives got down on her hands and knees and cleaned it. The midwives took care of virtually everything, including the garbage and a load of laundry, and after they left, you wouldn't have guessed what had happened in that room just hours before.


womenswisdom's Avatar womenswisdom
07:23 PM Liked: 174
#7 of 23
06-22-2012 | Posts: 931
Joined: Jan 2008
I have been at a birth where, literally there was one plastic grocery bag of trash and one in a hotel where the hotel staff could not tell there had been a birth. It's really not as messy as he is imagining. Chux pads are used under the mom when baby emerges and catch anything that comes with it. Any stray splatters would be cleaned up by the midwifery team with OxyClean or hydrogen peroxide.
kawa kamuri's Avatar kawa kamuri
05:08 AM Liked: 87
#8 of 23
06-23-2012 | Posts: 2,845
Joined: Apr 2006

You know what is messy? THE KIDS FOR YEARS AND YEARS AFTERWARD. 


Shannie77's Avatar Shannie77
05:45 AM Liked: 11
#9 of 23
06-23-2012 | Posts: 1,027
Joined: Jan 2007

My home birth was not messy at all! The midwives had me put a plastic sheet over my normal sheets.  Then put an old sheet or two over that.  I got an old sheet (for modesty) from my grandmother and family donated some of their old towels. We also used chux pads.  I laboured in the tub and then got out and pushed baby out on the bed.  After she was born and I went to the washroom the midwives had two garbage bags.  One they filled with the trash (which included a couple of the old towels.  The other was filled with laundry.  By the time I got back from the washroom my room looked immaculate. I just hoped into bed with my new little girl and went to sleep!

 

My mom threw the laundry in the washing maching and DH took the trash out.... end of story.

 

PP is right... the messes that kids make will be far far worse then the mess of a home birth!!

 

OH also my bag of water EXPLODED!  I mean it was like a water balloon popping, and even from that there was no left over mess that I saw!  


StudyingStones's Avatar StudyingStones (TS)
08:19 AM Liked: 20
#10 of 23
06-23-2012 | Posts: 191
Joined: May 2012
Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. Believe me, he and I are well versed in the messes of kids.. DS is a little tornado on good days, and a tsunami on his bad days, lol.

I wonder if maybe DH is just uncomfortable not do much with the mess, but with all the bodily fluids... But the pp was right about the waters breaking. Mine gushed out in bed when I went into labor with DS, and I don't remember him complaining about that at all at the time. (of course I spent 3 days in hospital with DS in the nicu), so he must have cleaned it all up.

I'm fairly confident that he will support me in my wishes to birth at home, but I want him to be comfortable with the experience as well smile.gif
SmtmsAlwys's Avatar SmtmsAlwys
07:36 PM Liked: 15
#11 of 23
06-24-2012 | Posts: 115
Joined: Jan 2008

I've only had the one home birth but it's my understanding that the midwife and her assistants take care of any and all messes created by the birth.


Youngfrankenstein's Avatar Youngfrankenstein
07:29 AM Liked: 629
#12 of 23
06-25-2012 | Posts: 2,225
Joined: Jun 2009

You can prep a lot of things.  Of course the bed was prepared but I gave birth on the floor on hands and knees.  My water broke on the toilet so that wasn't too much of a big deal.  I did get the carpet wet off of the chux pads but the midwives cleaned that up.  I had no cleaning to do afterwards.  My mom was there to put stuff in the dryer.  We also had a lot of stuff we'd planned to toss anyways...old towels, old sheets, etc.

 

You may also want to remind dh that mostly likely in the hospital you pushed on your back with your legs splayed and there's no chance of missing the fluids from that angle.   At home you never know where you'll be pushing or when the fluids will come out.  Some women being (or end lol) pushing on the toilet and there isn't as much visual that way.


adinal's Avatar adinal
10:21 AM Liked: 25649
#13 of 23
06-25-2012 | Posts: 24,482
Joined: Jul 2002

Mine was a touch messy.  I bled a lot, so I had a line of chux pads on the floor from the bed to the bathroom. LOL  All in all I think we cleaned up one spot of blood on the carpet.  Otherwise, all the birth tub got cleaned up and towels and such got thrown in the wash by the midwives.  But mostly, not a mess that was uncleanable, or even unpreventable.  Lots of towels, a good amount of chux pads and plenty of washcloths and you should be in good shape.  


iowaorganic's Avatar iowaorganic
08:31 AM Liked: 520
#14 of 23
06-26-2012 | Posts: 3,271
Joined: May 2007

I was actually shocked at how little mess there was after our birth.  We had about 3 of those cheap plastic table clothes on the floor, chux pads, and that was about it.  That all was thrown in a trash bag.  There was a load of laundry and a few little spots on the carpet that hydrogen peroxide took care of.  It was absolutely not messy- especially considering there was stuff coming out of me everywhere :)  


proudMoMmy2634's Avatar proudMoMmy2634
09:00 AM Liked: 15
#15 of 23
06-26-2012 | Posts: 154
Joined: Jun 2012

I also have a home birth, I was expecting a total mess but even amaze that I didn't see even one of the thing the midwife used.!


Peggy O'Mara's Avatar Peggy O'Mara
03:56 PM Liked: 176
#16 of 23
06-26-2012 | Posts: 482
Joined: Nov 2001

I don't think homebirth is any messier than any other birth. I'll bet your DH has other fears that he's translating into fear of the mess. Make sure that he has a chance to talk to other dads. Dads often feel left out of the birth preparation process. I'll bet he's afraid that things will be out of control or that he won't be equal to "the mess." Share these daddy resources with him and encourage him to talk to a seasoned homebirth dad. 


3surfboys's Avatar 3surfboys
06:45 AM Liked: 54
#17 of 23
06-28-2012 | Posts: 348
Joined: Feb 2008

Good point, Peggy!  In my community, we have a homebirth circle that meets monthly and its great that dads (and mamas) can share their concerns and learn from one another.  My dh definitely made a complete turn around - mostly after making a connection with our awesome midwife who we have come to trust completely.

 

Personally, I had a home water birth and my house was cleaner after the midwife and her assistant left!   I'm expecting the same of my next home birth which will be happening soon.  :) 


StudyingStones's Avatar StudyingStones (TS)
01:50 PM Liked: 20
#18 of 23
06-28-2012 | Posts: 191
Joined: May 2012

Thanks everyone for your stories and suggestions!

 

DH's cousin was planning a home birth (due June 17). The pictures of mom and babe popped up on Facebook this morning (gotta love technology!) but they were all taken in a hospital with babe in mom's arms and babe in an incubator... I haven't had a chance to talk to her yet, but I wonder what happened to make them change their plans from home to hospital birth.  I had hoped we could meet with them and talk about their experience, but I guess not!

 

Thanks Peggy, I'll check out that link.


nilatti's Avatar nilatti
11:52 AM Liked: 39
#19 of 23
06-29-2012 | Posts: 310
Joined: Aug 2010

Just to chime in with everyone else--I remember waking up the morning after my son was born, and looking around my room, completely amazed that it looked like NOTHING crazy had happened in there the night before.


begoniamama's Avatar begoniamama
11:14 PM Liked: 11
#20 of 23
07-03-2012 | Posts: 143
Joined: Nov 2011

in what seemed like moments after my home birth, you wouldnt have guessed that a child was just born. chux pads in trash, towels in wash, supplies put away. in that critical time of mother-child bonding the hour after birth where mom and babe are ideally undisturbed, your midwives should clean up any and all evidence. and with the amount of experience a seasoned midwife has, they work fast, and are organized!


fayebond's Avatar fayebond
10:39 AM Liked: 2216
#21 of 23
07-05-2012 | Posts: 1,209
Joined: Jun 2012

RE: OP's Dh's cousin,

With homebirth, the hospital should always be in the plan, its just plan B.

 

Also, while midwives do clean up fast, how much mess everyone else sees will vary based on where you have the baby within your home, and when they see the birth site.  You, and even DH, probably won't see much beyond that cute red wrinkly face. At my SIL's birth, every woman in the family was invited to the birth room, and we were kinda suprised by how yucky the place looked.  The dark room plus the bloody water (they used a waterbirth tub with clear sides) was not a pretty sight.  Fifteen minutes later it was all clean and bright and nice, the tub looked so clean the kids asked if they could play in there.


StudyingStones's Avatar StudyingStones (TS)
08:46 PM Liked: 20
#22 of 23
07-05-2012 | Posts: 191
Joined: May 2012
I ompletely agree, Fayebeyond. That's one thing I'll have to discuss with the midwife, as we are 20-30 minutes away from the nearest hospital that delivers babies (I'm within 10 minutes from 2 different hospitals, but that's the only one that delivers babies!!)
azzeps's Avatar azzeps
09:20 PM Liked: 67
#23 of 23
07-05-2012 | Posts: 545
Joined: Sep 2007

I gave birth in my bedroom, on the carpet, and after it was all said and done, I thought there would be a big mess, but there was one small spot of blood the size of a quarter on the carpet.  My midwives cleaned it up with some Hydrogen Peroxide.  The rest was caught by expertly-placed trash bags.  The way my water gushed, I would have thought that at least some of it would have hit the floor!


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