My DH and I have been discussing a homebirth for our next child. He doesn't seem to have any problems with the idea, except that he thinks it will be very messy. I told him there isn't that big of a mess and he replied "I looked down when DS was coming out and it was really messy", and I really have no response because I couldn't see anything from my angle at the time. (DS was a hospital birth).
So, how messy is it? Once we become pregnant I will ask the midwife to discuss his concerns with him, but I'd love to hear your stories/opinions.
I would imagine each birth produces different amounts of items to clean up, but definitely talk to your midwife about it. The mess was minimal, most women don't walk around the house smearing themselves on every surface. It is quite contained to where you birth and your midwife and DH and/or helper can quickly deal with anything.
Sarah :c) ~ Emily (8) Toby (5) Bean (7/2012)
I was kneeling on the rug when ours was born, laid on my bed for a couple of exams through the course of things also. The underpads and a couple towels caught everything with ours, a bit of leaking fluid on sheets so those needed a change. Trashbag of the pads taken out and a load of laundry washed, and placenta bagged and in the freezer then all was normal besides a new baby to spit up and poop all the time and changing of my pads.
I don't recall much of a mess. I had a home waterbirth. When getting out of the tub I bled a little bit onto the floor, but one of the midwives got down on her hands and knees and cleaned it. The midwives took care of virtually everything, including the garbage and a load of laundry, and after they left, you wouldn't have guessed what had happened in that room just hours before.
Fledgling midwife on hiatus, Wife to B, mama to C (c/s 12/04) and S (12/07), m/c (3/12) and expecting another bean 6/13 .
My home birth was not messy at all! The midwives had me put a plastic sheet over my normal sheets. Then put an old sheet or two over that. I got an old sheet (for modesty) from my grandmother and family donated some of their old towels. We also used chux pads. I laboured in the tub and then got out and pushed baby out on the bed. After she was born and I went to the washroom the midwives had two garbage bags. One they filled with the trash (which included a couple of the old towels. The other was filled with laundry. By the time I got back from the washroom my room looked immaculate. I just hoped into bed with my new little girl and went to sleep!
My mom threw the laundry in the washing maching and DH took the trash out.... end of story.
PP is right... the messes that kids make will be far far worse then the mess of a home birth!!
OH also my bag of water EXPLODED! I mean it was like a water balloon popping, and even from that there was no left over mess that I saw!
: : :
I wonder if maybe DH is just uncomfortable not do much with the mess, but with all the bodily fluids... But the pp was right about the waters breaking. Mine gushed out in bed when I went into labor with DS, and I don't remember him complaining about that at all at the time. (of course I spent 3 days in hospital with DS in the nicu), so he must have cleaned it all up.
I'm fairly confident that he will support me in my wishes to birth at home, but I want him to be comfortable with the experience as well
I've only had the one home birth but it's my understanding that the midwife and her assistants take care of any and all messes created by the birth.
Proud Mama to Ceili Fey (3/6/03), Elias ( 4/9/08-3/4/12), Noah ( 4/21/09 ), Henry ( 1/30/12 ), and Calvin ( 3/7/12).
You can prep a lot of things. Of course the bed was prepared but I gave birth on the floor on hands and knees. My water broke on the toilet so that wasn't too much of a big deal. I did get the carpet wet off of the chux pads but the midwives cleaned that up. I had no cleaning to do afterwards. My mom was there to put stuff in the dryer. We also had a lot of stuff we'd planned to toss anyways...old towels, old sheets, etc.
You may also want to remind dh that mostly likely in the hospital you pushed on your back with your legs splayed and there's no chance of missing the fluids from that angle. At home you never know where you'll be pushing or when the fluids will come out. Some women being (or end lol) pushing on the toilet and there isn't as much visual that way.
Mine was a touch messy. I bled a lot, so I had a line of chux pads on the floor from the bed to the bathroom. LOL All in all I think we cleaned up one spot of blood on the carpet. Otherwise, all the birth tub got cleaned up and towels and such got thrown in the wash by the midwives. But mostly, not a mess that was uncleanable, or even unpreventable. Lots of towels, a good amount of chux pads and plenty of washcloths and you should be in good shape.
Adina mama to B 4/06 and E 8/13/12 (on her due date!)
I was actually shocked at how little mess there was after our birth. We had about 3 of those cheap plastic table clothes on the floor, chux pads, and that was about it. That all was thrown in a trash bag. There was a load of laundry and a few little spots on the carpet that hydrogen peroxide took care of. It was absolutely not messy- especially considering there was stuff coming out of me everywhere :)
Iowaorganic- mama to DD (1/5/06), DS1 (4/9/07), DS2 (1/22/09), DS3 (12/10/10), DD2 (7/6/12) and a new kid due in early 2014
I don't think homebirth is any messier than any other birth. I'll bet your DH has other fears that he's translating into fear of the mess. Make sure that he has a chance to talk to other dads. Dads often feel left out of the birth preparation process. I'll bet he's afraid that things will be out of control or that he won't be equal to "the mess." Share these daddy resources with him and encourage him to talk to a seasoned homebirth dad.
Good point, Peggy! In my community, we have a homebirth circle that meets monthly and its great that dads (and mamas) can share their concerns and learn from one another. My dh definitely made a complete turn around - mostly after making a connection with our awesome midwife who we have come to trust completely.
Personally, I had a home water birth and my house was cleaner after the midwife and her assistant left! I'm expecting the same of my next home birth which will be happening soon. :)
Laura ~ Mama to three wild and wonderful boys and our rainbow baby girl on 7/2/12
and expecting #5 on 12/24/14
Thanks everyone for your stories and suggestions!
DH's cousin was planning a home birth (due June 17). The pictures of mom and babe popped up on Facebook this morning (gotta love technology!) but they were all taken in a hospital with babe in mom's arms and babe in an incubator... I haven't had a chance to talk to her yet, but I wonder what happened to make them change their plans from home to hospital birth. I had hoped we could meet with them and talk about their experience, but I guess not!
Thanks Peggy, I'll check out that link.
Just to chime in with everyone else--I remember waking up the morning after my son was born, and looking around my room, completely amazed that it looked like NOTHING crazy had happened in there the night before.
Mama to Silas Anansi, born 9/9/10 and Petra Eadaion, born 10/1/12.
in what seemed like moments after my home birth, you wouldnt have guessed that a child was just born. chux pads in trash, towels in wash, supplies put away. in that critical time of mother-child bonding the hour after birth where mom and babe are ideally undisturbed, your midwives should clean up any and all evidence. and with the amount of experience a seasoned midwife has, they work fast, and are organized!
love of DH and mama to DS born 1/12
RE: OP's Dh's cousin,
With homebirth, the hospital should always be in the plan, its just plan B.
Also, while midwives do clean up fast, how much mess everyone else sees will vary based on where you have the baby within your home, and when they see the birth site. You, and even DH, probably won't see much beyond that cute red wrinkly face. At my SIL's birth, every woman in the family was invited to the birth room, and we were kinda suprised by how yucky the place looked. The dark room plus the bloody water (they used a waterbirth tub with clear sides) was not a pretty sight. Fifteen minutes later it was all clean and bright and nice, the tub looked so clean the kids asked if they could play in there.
I gave birth in my bedroom, on the carpet, and after it was all said and done, I thought there would be a big mess, but there was one small spot of blood the size of a quarter on the carpet. My midwives cleaned it up with some Hydrogen Peroxide. The rest was caught by expertly-placed trash bags. The way my water gushed, I would have thought that at least some of it would have hit the floor!