What would you do?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 08-04-2012, 07:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am 2 months pregnant with #4, but this will be our first homebirth. Let me give you a little back story... My dh just retired from the Air Force and is starting a new job with Union Pacific in Houston. We are currently in CA staying with his parents. He leaves for Houston in a couple weeks, but the kids and I will be here until around the middle of November since my dh will be in training in different locations. We won't know exactly where in or around Houston we will be living until November which is why my dh wants the kids and me to stay here so he isn't dragging us all over. Anyway.... my inlaws don't know about us planning a homebirth. My MIL is very pro-doctors/hospitals/meds, ect. I already have a midwife for when we get to Houston and she wants to keep in contact with me regularly, receive reports about my dr visits here, ect. I don't know if we can keep this a secret while living here. Should we go ahead and tell them while my dh is still here so I have his support or should we just try our best to keep her from finding out. Her reaction is going to be questioning us and trying to change our mind so it will be more annoying than anything else. On one hand I don't see why I should have to hide this from her and on the other hand I don't want to put up with her constant input telling us we are doing the wrong thing. Thank you if you have read all this!

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#2 of 5 Old 08-04-2012, 11:41 PM
 
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Tricky!

But i think its a situation that lots of us have experienced!

My mother is the same! At the beginning of this pregnancy we were concerned that we would get lots of "Where are you birthing" kinds of questions, but mostly everyone had just assumed that we will have this babe at a hospital!!

If I was in your shoes I just wouldn't mention it.. For people that are against home birth (if they have asked, but they RARELY do) we just say something like "Oh yeah our midwife says its all looking great!" Because you would be seen by a midwife for most prenatal things here anyway. And if they are against home birth and ask where we are birthing (and i don't feel like arguing that day) then i say something like "Oh well Blah-Blah base hospital is the closest one!" (It technically is closest to us lol) or I will say "Oh we will go to BlahBlah base when we feel its the right time". (Right time being emergency only! Lol)

Thats generally how I get around not telling people. 

:) Then calmly and beautifully bring that babe into the world at home, and let your MIL know that "We are home if you would like to visit!" :) hehe!

HTH!!


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#3 of 5 Old 08-05-2012, 11:20 AM
 
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You know, it's funny, but my husband and I totally thought his parents would FREEEAK out if they knew we were planning a homebirth. So we didn't mention it, and they pretty much assumed that I was going to go to the hospital. I mean, only like 1% of babies are born at home, so why would they even ask? Then my DH happened to accidentally drop the word "midwife" around them, and they thought to ask for more information. They really surprised us by being very supportive. Apparently, my MIL was induced with her last baby and had all sorts of complications, which she totally blames on the doctor. She thinks she would have been better off at home *unassisted* than at the hospital. So...I guess, you might be surprised. But you also could not mention it ever, and it's pretty unlikely they'd ever think to ask.


Mama to Silas Anansi, born 9/9/10 and Petra Eadaion, born 10/1/12.

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#4 of 5 Old 08-05-2012, 01:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Ladies! I am going to just keep my mouth shut unless it comes up and as y'all said, hopefully if she finds out she'll surprise us! lol
 

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#5 of 5 Old 08-11-2012, 03:48 AM
 
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I don't see why it's any of her business, but that's just me lol. If she asked about doctor visits I'd just mention how the MIDWIFE appointment went, etc. 


Wife to DH dh_malesling.GIF(12.10.2009), Anchorage based doula joy.gif, Proud mama to Autumnblahblah.gif (09.03.2008), Sylas bouncy.gif(04.25.2010), angel1.gif(06.11.2012), Callioperainbow1284.gif(04.23.2013)

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