I won't be having my kiddoes there...I am a private birther, apparently, and with my last birth, even my midwife coming in during early labor made things stop for a bit, lol. With my first HB, I just had a 4 and 2 yr old; they slept until 6 am. I had my sis come get them. They came in and said goodbye and even though I was in transition, I was able to converse just fine-even-laugh-with them before they left. Their sis was born at 6:50 am.
With my last and this one, we are in a really small studio and the thought of them there makes me anxious. My mom is next door, and they spent the night there with my last HB. I am envisioning something along those lines again.
I labor with just my husband until the endish of transition and then at that point, it's not going to stop (for me) so I call the MW in and she gets everything ready.
My births are around 5 hrs.
When I have some older kids and a larger house, I may re evaluate, but at this point, this works really well for us.
That makes a lot of sense. I had my daughter at home in a studio basically too. A studio would probably make it difficult to avoid any distractions from the other kids. Thinking about this is making me realize my daughter loves being near me so much she would probably distract me a lot. Even when her dad comes home from work she is very possessive of me and wants to be near me always. I'll have to rethink having her present when I have my next pregnancy.
You are very lucky to have your mom (who you trust) next door and willing to help. We aren't close in location to family and don't trust any of them to watch our daughter anyways. They love her, but some are frail and others don't respect our wishes around her.
Congrats on your pregnancy and I hope your birth goes well. :)
Thanks! I really sort of internalize during labor and I don't like distractions, lol...I just really want to FOCUS. So, yeah, for me it works best to be in a dark quiet place with just dh (and then later the mw).
I am really blessed to be on great terms with my parents; I know not everyone has a place of trust as I do.
caution: one-handed nak
I'm 11 weeks pregnant and I'm planning a HBA2C because frankly, my last birthing experience was horrendus. My last birth was supposed to be a hospital VBAC, I got to the hospital at 6 cm and as I was getting ready to get into the shower I had two high blood pressure readings (thats all two, the rest were normal) and the staff went nuts and I was suddenly deemed pre eclamptic and I had nurses trying to convince me that I had a headache and was seeing spots. They wouldn't let me out of bed and as my labor progressed I could feel my daugther and my uterus trying to fight gravity. At some point I was lingering at 8cm and the OB on call came in and told me that if I didn't dilate within a half and hour that I was going back for a csection. The half hour passed and he told me it was time to go back and I begged and pleaded with him to let me get an epidural to take the edge off and come back and check me later since baby's heart was fine, and I was fine. He told me know, I lost my will to fight, and the next thing I know anesthesia is in the room taking 45 minutes to take one tube of blood out of me to see if I could tolerate anesthesia. As the OB, who wasn't even my provider, finished sewing me up, he leaned over the curtain and said "No more VBACs for you!".
The recovery from that was just as bad, what happened to me didn't hit me until I was discharged and all I did at home was cry. I seriously thought about stopping at two children because I didn't want to have to go through another csection. It took me a year to come to terms with what happened, and thats when I started researching homebirth because I knew that there was no way I could walk into a doctors office and get the go ahed to vbac after two sections. My ICAN chapter hosted a homebirth panel with local midwives and as they talked about HBAC and that they have had moms who have been successful after more than one csection I became very hopeful and decided that it was my option.
Mama to Keegan and Rhiannon
Before getting married I was at a couple of births. One a home birth and the other a hospital birth. Watching the home birth sold me. My first was born in a hospital though because of where we were living. My last 4 were born at home. 3 of them waterbirths. The one that wasn't, was because baby came before the water could get warm. I LOVED my homebirths. 2 of my babies were born in the middle of the night so the other kids just woke up to a new baby.
SAHM to 6
- Did you grow up expecting a home birth (parents were hippies, you were born at home, etc...)? No my family and my hubby's family are all very medically minded and would never have
- thought to birth at home. I know they don't agree with it but, they don't have to. ;)
- Did you have a bad experience with a previous birth at a hospital (complications, unwanted epideral, unwanted c-section, staff didn't follow your wishes, etc...)? I had an 'OK' experience in a birth center with a MW who had a high transfer rate, wanted me induced right at 40 weeks had I not given birth, and basically refused to even see my when I had the risk of a "threatened miscarriage" with my second child.
- Did you do research to lead to this decision? I thought if I had already birthed with a MW in a birth center. Why not home? It came very naturally to us. We just researched questions to ask
- and I posted on Mothering asking for MW recommendations in my area.
- Did a family member or friend recommend it? Nope, sure didn't, lol.
- Now we're planning our 2nd homebirth with our 3rd child. People still ask if this child will be born at a hospital this time. We say no. At home. Again. Any other children we have will all be born at home.
I'm a little late to reply to your thread, but if you're still interested in answers here's why I'm picking a homebirth.
This is my first pregnancy and I'm due in january.
I was first exposed to homebirth when we lived in the UK six years ago and some friends had a homebirth. It was a very new idea to us at the time, but interesting to hear from them about why they chose it and their experience, which was a very positive one. Homebirth is more common in the UK than in the US, so it was interesting to learn about a developed country with an excellent health care system that promoted homebirth.
A few years later I was in nursing school and did my clinicals for my maternity nursing course. I was able to observe both a vaginal delivery from start to finish (I got very lucky with a mom who delivered in 8 hours!) and a c-section, as well as the post-partum and nursery care at a local hospital with a pretty average reputation. I found myself horrified by the experience on so many levels and knew immediately that that was not how I wanted to give birth! Among other things I disliked the number of unnecessary procedures (AROM and pitocin more or less because staff were bored/impatient), the number of staff in the room (a constant parade of nurses, doctors and students), the lack of emotional support for the women (most of the attention was given to the equipment and her vagina), lack of movement, laboring on her back or in stirrups the whole time, lack of support for natural pain relieving techniques (it seemed easier for staff just to give her an epidural so they could be free to leave the room until she was ready to push), and the separation of baby from mother for procedures that could have waited (cleaning, eye treatment and vit K shot). Around the same time a friend recommended 'The Business of Being Born' and I found myself agreeing with it 100%. It really resonated with what I had seen on my clinicals and learned about 'typical' pregnancy care and delivery in the US. I continued reading and doing research about home birth and about maternity care and delivery options in the US. At that point I knew that when I did get pregnant I would opt for either a birthing center or home birth provided my pregnancy was low-risk and healthy. Since I conveniently worked a pediatric office part time I started asking the mothers who came in who had had a homebirth about their experience and about their midwives so that was how I was referred to my current midwife. In the end the only birthing center with a good reputation was too far for us to travel to so we went for homebirth.
I've been pleasantly surprised that DH, our parents and even our grandparents have been on board with our decision. My mother was initially wary because she's convinced she would have died had she given birth at home due to my large size (10 lbs and forceps delivery after my shoulders got stuck) and my brother's (12 lb c-section due to large size on ultrasound), but she's come around too.
Mostly I'm just very grateful that I had the chance to see a typical hospital birth and learn about my options before becoming pregnant, otherwise I think like many women I would just have gone for a hospital birth by default with my first, had a horrible experience and learned my lesson that that way.
For the moms who have multiple children and are delivering at home, are you planning on having your other children present at the birth? I know it depends on their ages and whether they are interested in it or not. I'm just curious if it's pretty common. I keep thinking I will have my daughter there for her sibling(s) birth(s). If you did, how did it go?
We had our 10 year old at the birth of her sibling. I went into labor right around 8pm (her bedtime) so we ended up not really having her at the labor. We woke her up during crowing but she was kind of freaked out and went downstairs with her aunt. She wanted to come for the birth and was there but, again, kind of freaked out. It wasn't quite the empowering experience I had hoped for her but I'm glad she was there. She did do the newborn exam with the MW and that was really, really sweet. Also, I ended up caring for my 10 year old a little that night - got up and checked on her and kissed her good night. I don't think that was necessary but it felt right and good to be able to give her that tiny bit of attention that first night with the LO. So...long story short - the birth wasn't all that moving for my DC but I loved having her home for such a huge change for the family.
My mother birthed four kids med-free (including a set of twins) in the hospital, and always spoke of it as such an amazing experience that I always planned on natural births. My first two were highly managed hospital births, so this time I realized I HAD to get out of the hospital setting to have the birth experience I want. I labor very quickly and mostly painlessly so, with this being my third child, I don't even know if I could make it to a hospital or birth center in time.
Fortunately, I've found a homebirth midwife who is willing to co-manage care with a perinatologist since I've had preterm labor with my previous two pregnancies. I'm a VBAC too (second daughter was breech), and literally one OB in our area will "allow" them without all the scare tactics and pressure
My mom was a bit of a hypochondriac, so I am a bit to the other extreme, not wanting any medical interventions w/o a doggone good reason.
For my 1st, I wanted to stay home, but didn't know about midwives & would have had it UC if I had ANY support from anyone, but didn't, so I reluctantly headed for the hosp. when my water broke, with painless ctx, q 5 mins. They started pit, (because "painless" can't be real labor!) & 3 excruciating hrs later I was ready to deliver, doc getting ready to do epis. I said I didn't want one, he said it was necessary, I got one. Then my precious son was taken to the nursery, & every time I asked them to bring him they had an excuse why I had to wait "just a little longer"... for 24 whole hrs! Then they had the audacity to bill me for doing things I didn't want them to do! I resolved to figure out how to do it myself, cause I was not about to go through that (the hospital experience, not the birth!) again. I started reading old ob texts, & went to nursing school, where I found out midwives existed!
By the time I was pregnant for the 2nd time, there was no question it WAS going to be a homebirth! Still no midwives near me, so it was UC, all 70 mins of labor! I was glad I had planned to UC cause that's what it would have been, like it or not since we lived way out in the country. So after that, there was no question, the rest had to be homebirths.
My 3rd was also a 90 min. UC, even my dh missed that one. So after that, I prayed for & visualized a 4-6 hr labor, surrounded by friends & family. You may think I'm crazy, but such fast births are hectic, not relaxing, in no way the picture of a nice calm, romantic homebirth one would like to see.
My 4th. was 4 hrs, my whole family was there plus some good friends (including my ob, who I was working for in his homebirth practice at the time.) It was a great birth. I really appreciated the help I had this time, and the more gradual onset of ctx, it really was much more relaxing! Not having to worry about being my own midwife helped too.
#5 started w PROM, at 36 wks. I stayed home for a while (all day!) but when I started running a fever I decided to transport. Another hospital birth:(. I dreaded it so much I reversed from 5 cms at home to 3 on arrival! Had her w a spinal (for reasons beyond the scope of this post!), which was really weird! It is such a let down not to feel the thrill of the head coming out, why would anyone want to miss that ecstatic feeling?! By this time I had met other midwives & we started doing births together. (before this, when ppl would ask me to help them, I would tell them I was not a midwife, but had read some books & had some homebirths myself & would be glad to help them to the best of my ability)
Well then it was time for # 6, my water broke 1st, I had several hours before ctx started, but called the midwives anyway, since I had such fast births in the past. They arrived, ctx started & 90 mins later he was born.
# 7 started the same way, with water broken & midwives here, we waited, & waited, & waited, labor started v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y, a 1st for me. 20 hrs later she was born in my bathtub. The 1st waterbirth for me and my midwives.
So, why did I choose homebirth? I'm just doin' what comes naturally. Can't fathom why anybody would prefer any other way.