Homebirth in a condo. - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 27 Old 10-19-2012, 08:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
alaskanmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Has anyone had a homebirth in a condo/apartment? We're on the top floor, and our downstairs neighbors are jerks to put it mildly(we're talking they complain if my kids make noise in the middle of the day during the workday type of people). 

I've planned on having a homebirth since my DS' birth in April 2010, and just tonight my husband addressed concerns, he doesn't want them to start complaining or interrupting our birth(and tbh they aren't exactly people I would want to tell about my pregnancy, so pre-warning isn't an option)... he wants me to either do a birth center or hospital birth.

Basically, just want to hear if anyone has birthed in an apartment setting, how it went, did the neighbors complain, etc.? 


Wife to DH dh_malesling.GIF(12.10.2009), Anchorage based doula joy.gif, Proud mama to Autumnblahblah.gif (09.03.2008), Sylas bouncy.gif(04.25.2010), angel1.gif(06.11.2012), Callioperainbow1284.gif(04.23.2013)

alaskanmomma is offline  
#2 of 27 Old 10-19-2012, 09:07 PM
 
fruitfulmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Between the Rockies and a Flat Place
Posts: 4,243
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 19 Post(s)

We shared a house with my brother and father when I was pregnant with my oldest. They were in the basement and my brother swore he was leaving when birth day came but they both slept right through it.

fruitfulmomma is online now  
#3 of 27 Old 10-19-2012, 09:17 PM
 
AmandaT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 206
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I just wanted to chime in saying after having a not-so-great (to put it mildly) hospital birth I truly regret not having a homebirth in our apartment. I did not do it for the same reasons you are considering, and I really, really wish I had. 

 

If I was you, I would simply try and keep myself away from the door and have someone else respond if the neighbors come to complain- if they do hopefully you won't even  know until after the birth is over. 


lactivist.gifnovaxnocirc.gif Acd.gif'ing, winner.jpg,familybed1.gif,femalesling.GIFread.gif Momma to one DD 1/1/12 ribboncesarean.gif. Trying to goorganic.jpg and hoping for a hbac.gif next time!

AmandaT is offline  
#4 of 27 Old 10-19-2012, 09:23 PM
 
rnra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 584
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

You've had other children--how loud do you tend to be while laboring?  Some women find themselves being very vocal the whole way through--some just for a few moments at the end.  If you're one who likes to vocalize through contractions, I would look into alternate arrangements.

rnra is online now  
#5 of 27 Old 10-20-2012, 11:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
alaskanmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rnra View Post

You've had other children--how loud do you tend to be while laboring?  Some women find themselves being very vocal the whole way through--some just for a few moments at the end.  If you're one who likes to vocalize through contractions, I would look into alternate arrangements.

I had the epidural with my DD, so I didn't make much noise, with my son I was crying for the last 30 minutes of labor, if that. But it -was- loud. I didn't make much noise during my contractions, or the majority of my labor. 


Wife to DH dh_malesling.GIF(12.10.2009), Anchorage based doula joy.gif, Proud mama to Autumnblahblah.gif (09.03.2008), Sylas bouncy.gif(04.25.2010), angel1.gif(06.11.2012), Callioperainbow1284.gif(04.23.2013)

alaskanmomma is offline  
#6 of 27 Old 10-20-2012, 11:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
alaskanmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Part of me doesn't give a crap about them, they are hypocritical(very, very noisy people themselves) but on the other end, I know it would be stressful if they came up here complaining and starting stuff if I DID make noise.

I really hate going anywhere in labor, I was an hour away from having my son at home, and the car ride was excruciating :(


Wife to DH dh_malesling.GIF(12.10.2009), Anchorage based doula joy.gif, Proud mama to Autumnblahblah.gif (09.03.2008), Sylas bouncy.gif(04.25.2010), angel1.gif(06.11.2012), Callioperainbow1284.gif(04.23.2013)

alaskanmomma is offline  
#7 of 27 Old 10-20-2012, 11:50 AM
 
Mama Soltera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 556
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Yes, in two different condos (not the same birth, of course! lol). Honestly, my homebirths were the best thing I ever did. They felt on a whole new realm than a hospital birth. I actually had a neighbor who was a nurse who found out about it and was very unsupportive. I just never let her know when it was actually happening. Actually, both places no one knew I had given birth until a couple days later and they were very surprised. And I did have a couple of people there (midwife, friends, etc.) bringing equipment in and out. Too, I scream and yell when I'm pushing. They had no clue. It's your home. If you want to have your baby there, then you should. Have a plan in place in case they should come knocking, but it probably won't happen. I also smudged (a cleansing protection done with sage smoke) my house where the walls met other people's dwellings and it helped me feel safe and protected from the people on the other side of the wall. If you are religious you could do some kind of blessing I guess. Whatever works for you. Even if it's just psychological, whatever helps you claim your own space and feel safe and protected there, go for it. Best of luck! 

Mama Soltera is offline  
#8 of 27 Old 10-20-2012, 11:53 AM
 
Mama Soltera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 556
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rnra View Post
 If you're one who likes to vocalize through contractions, I would look into alternate arrangements.

I would say though that sometimes relaxation music can really help drown it out. I did have on relaxation music for one of them in the middle of the night (because I wanted it) but it must've helped to drown that noise out. Trust me, I get LOUD and no one heard a peep (except the people in my bedroom, of course). :)

Mama Soltera is offline  
#9 of 27 Old 10-20-2012, 07:49 PM
 
rnra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 584
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

A lot of it depends on your building and insulation.  Where I live now, I can hear every step, cough, and movement of my upstairs neighbors.  It's a new-ish building too.  In a prior building of a similar age and style, I couldn't hear much.  

rnra is online now  
#10 of 27 Old 10-22-2012, 10:52 PM
 
phathui5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 17,474
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I birthed #5 here in our townhouse. We have neighbors on both sides. I can hear their TV, when they go up and down their steps and it wasn't an issue.


Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
phathui5 is offline  
#11 of 27 Old 10-24-2012, 03:29 PM
 
mamaharrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

They will get over it. You don't have to answer the door if they try to interrupt nor should you. You are allowed to birth in your own home and you should if that is what you chose. Do not allow someone else to determine your birthing scenarios--you deserve what you want!

I wouldn't prewarn, even if they were nice neighbors--this is something that is an intimate and private event in the comfort of your home. It will not be a regular occurance and thus not something they can really be upset about, IMO. 

I didn't home birth with my first DD because we lived in a 500 sqft house and I felt like it would be too small for the event, but after that experience I would NEVER make thaat decision again. My home is definitely the perfect place to birth--no matter where my home is or how small it may be! It's where I am comfy. It's HOME!

mamaharrison is offline  
#12 of 27 Old 10-24-2012, 03:32 PM
 
mamaharrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Seriously--DO NOT ANSWER THE DOOR during labor. If they continue to knock or bother then I would call the cops on THEM! It is they who are disturbing you at that point. Seriously. Your time to birth is for you and you don't have to make accomadations for anyone else. Have your MW answer the door and let them know that there is a birth happening and that they shouldn't come back and that it will be over soon.

mamaharrison is offline  
#13 of 27 Old 10-24-2012, 05:32 PM
 
Lynann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Sunny South Florida
Posts: 1,357
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I had DS2 in an apartment. DH was more concerned than I was. We were in the downstairs apartment and we sometimes would hear our upstairs neighbor (mostly just DTD as she had a squeaky bed.) DH thought for sure they must have heard me, as I'm very vocal in labor, and it was a late night birth too (1:23am), but when we met them outside a couple of weeks later they didn't even know we'd already had the baby, let alone birthed right there in the apartment under them.

 

Honestly I would just ignore the neighbors and birth where ever you feel most comfortable. There is a very strong possibility that they won't even notice that anything is happening.


Lynslingboy.gif, wife to Robtrekkie.gif & Mamma to angel.gif "Moredcai" 12wks July 09, Aiden(6/1/10)banana.gif and Seth(9/7/11)babyf.gif hbac.gif  New blessing Megan(5/9/13)hearts.gifuc.jpg

Lynann is offline  
#14 of 27 Old 10-24-2012, 07:07 PM
 
themothership's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Maine (more specifically the Blue Hill Peninsula)
Posts: 148
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

If you want the homebirth, have the homebirth. maybe think about putting a "yes there is a birth happening inside, it is perfectly safe, so don't knock and ask stupid questions" sign on the door while in labor so you don't feel like you have to answer the door.

eggsandpancakes likes this.

Mama to  Hadley (2/10) energy.gif& Sawyer (1/13) babyboy.gif familybed1.gif

 

themothership is offline  
#15 of 27 Old 10-24-2012, 07:20 PM
 
motherhendoula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: LawnGuyLand
Posts: 749
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about!   I had my last HB in Aug 2010 - my DH was so freaked out that the cops would be called on us he was just panic stricken the entire time....i was incredibly loud - it was a quick painful birth and i was SCREAMING and saying things like 'NO NO NO NO!"  at one point my MW tried a little counter pressure on my lower back and i snapped at her 'dont touch me!'   and we live in a very cheaply made apartment - we are upstairs.  I also had planned a water birth and had a huge pool of water that i was grabbing at like it was a lifeboat and i was on the Titanic.....at one point even i had to reprimand myself and chill out !  lol

one thing we used probably wont help you seeing as you are in Alaska....we just turned up the air conditioning really high - it was nice and loud and must have drowned out my 'birthsong'   the neighbors never knew, they never knocked on the door ...it was fine.  Do you have a relative - or friend or could you hire a doula to 1.) keep you focused on low sounds and not screeching your way through labor  and 2.) deal with the neighbors should the need arise - so your DH wont have to take time away from you to do it.....

i wouldnt let it stop me from having a HB.   Let us know how it turns out!


Happy at Home Mama to DD 4/95 DS 4/98 and DS#2 8/10  femalesling.GIF        h20homebirth.gif       sewmachine.gif

http://www.etsy.com/shop/motherhendoula
 

motherhendoula is offline  
#16 of 27 Old 10-25-2012, 01:32 PM
 
Kynid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 32
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I second that you should NOT answer the door if you are birthing. Even though this is different, when my grandfather was in the process of passing away at home (he had cancer and was sent home to pass in the comfort of his own bed) my grandma's cable guy showed up and realized what was happening. Without warning he called 911! Thankfully, they arrived right after he was gone, but then my grieving family had to deal with them wanting to take his body when we all just wanted an hour of peace with him to say goodbye. The last thing you want is your crappy neighbors calling EMS on you and having to deal with that. I suggest using a very large fan on high to drown out noise. We use that when we watch a loud movie at night and you can't hear anything upstairs because it drowns it out and helps break up the sound waves coming from you. Good luck! 

Kynid is offline  
#17 of 27 Old 10-25-2012, 06:37 PM
 
Adaline'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4,787
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'd have DH put a ready made sign on the door that says, "Please do not disturb, woman laboring inside" 


Holly and David partners.gif

Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

Adaline'sMama is offline  
#18 of 27 Old 10-25-2012, 06:38 PM
 
babycatcher12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: There's no place like home.
Posts: 482
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

I'd have DH put a ready made sign on the door that says, "Please do not disturb, woman laboring inside" 

This and then don't answer the door if someone comes knocking or put someone specific on "door duty" in case unwanted visitors come. 


Wife to a wonderful husband, mom to 5 amazing boys, 2 m/c and Knox Cornelius our 5th son born at 15weeks 12/3/2011, Lillian Faith our 1st daughter, born at 14 weeks May 19, 2012 (Turner Syndrome). 

 
           
 
 
 
babycatcher12 is offline  
#19 of 27 Old 10-27-2012, 10:39 AM
 
Mama Soltera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 556
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I strongly agree with not answering your door while laboring (and having a door monitor just to be safe), but I strongly disagree that you should advertise a birth is taking place. For me, I loved advertising my homebirths AFTER they were done. But before (and maybe this sounds hokey) I only wanted people knowing about it who would be completely supportive and positive about it. I felt like I really didn't need anyone's negative vibes or fears as part of my birth. I think it is a sacred and private event and it's best to keep the energy inward (as in in the immediate birthing circle). 

 

As you've read so many women who were extremely loud (including me) had neighbors who had no idea a birth ever took place. I think if you'd like to, you could put a sign on the door that says "Do not disturb," like at a motel. Maybe if people hear screaming and moaning they'll just think you're having sex. ;)  lol 

Mama Soltera is offline  
#20 of 27 Old 10-27-2012, 06:34 PM
 
mLeroux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 181
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Apt. dweller here with the same kind of neighbors...complaints at noon because kids are "walking" to hard.  I had 2 HB's in that apt. and the last one was a waterbirth.  Once my contractions get pretty close I get vocal and during pushing too.  No one seemed to notice.  One of them was delivered at 3 am and the other at 6:30 am after laboring since midnight.  I say do it. I personally would probably not hang the sign that might prompt them to be more curious and possibly make them call 911 and tell them there is a woman laboring there.

mLeroux is offline  
#21 of 27 Old 10-27-2012, 06:45 PM
 
BK Mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 144
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We lived on the top floor of a 5th floor walk-up brownstone.  The building was old and I always had the feeling that the staircase would just give spontaneously one day.  Ha ha.

We too had cranky neighbors and I remember reading that other mamas have left bottles of wine outside the door of neighbors with notes that say "The baby is coming soon.  Hope this wine will drown out any strange sounds that come from our apartment."  Then I remembered how awful my neighbors were and planned to just leave a note on our door saying "Yes, we are having a planned homebirth. No need to call 911."  But in the end, we didn't do any of these things.  And I was not a quiet mama.  Not one person said a thing to us after.  So like others have said, "who cares what your neighbors think" and they probably won't even know.

 

Good luck to you!

BK Mommy is offline  
#22 of 27 Old 10-28-2012, 01:10 PM
 
Adaline'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4,787
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Soltera View Post

I strongly agree with not answering your door while laboring (and having a door monitor just to be safe), but I strongly disagree that you should advertise a birth is taking place. For me, I loved advertising my homebirths AFTER they were done. But before (and maybe this sounds hokey) I only wanted people knowing about it who would be completely supportive and positive about it. I felt like I really didn't need anyone's negative vibes or fears as part of my birth. I think it is a sacred and private event and it's best to keep the energy inward (as in in the immediate birthing circle). 

 

As you've read so many women who were extremely loud (including me) had neighbors who had no idea a birth ever took place. I think if you'd like to, you could put a sign on the door that says "Do not disturb," like at a motel. Maybe if people hear screaming and moaning they'll just think you're having sex. ;)  lol 

Or being beaten...

 

That would be my main concern, that I would say something to DH like "Don't touch me" or that it would somehow sound like a domestic violence issue and I'd have cops beating down my door. 


Holly and David partners.gif

Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

Adaline'sMama is offline  
#23 of 27 Old 10-28-2012, 03:32 PM
 
meesh933's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 453
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I had my 3rd child, 2nd homebirth in a crappy little apartment. Thankfully for us, the people upstairs moved 2 weeks before he was born, so it was empty. But there were 2 other unit that we routinely heard noises from, and they didn't seem to notice. And I was LOUD. And in labor for 23 hours, the worst of it from 7 pm - 3 am when he was born.

 

I was really freaked out about the cops or EMS showing up at the door if the neighbors heard me, but in the end it worked out just fine.


Mom to blahblah.gifDD (5/07), diaper.gifDS1 (02/10)h20homebirth.gif and babyboy.gif DS2 (11/11)h20homebirth.gif !

meesh933 is offline  
#24 of 27 Old 10-28-2012, 06:09 PM
 
littlefee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I had a home birth in an apartment that shares walls with three neighbors.  We decided to let them know about our plan beforehand, and they all thanked us for letting them know so that they wouldn't worry if they heard me making noise.  And when the time came, there was definitely noise, until 2 am.  When I saw one of the neighbors a few days later and told her I hoped we hadn't bothered her, she looked totally traumatized and muttered that it was fine.  Oh well!  You have the right to give birth in your home!

littlefee is offline  
#25 of 27 Old 10-28-2012, 08:38 PM
 
BK Mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 144
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Our dd was born in new York but I'm from Alaska too! Born and raised there. Just think it is neat when I see another Alaskan out in the world, even if it is online! Cheers!
BK Mommy is offline  
#26 of 27 Old 11-01-2012, 03:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
alaskanmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am still gong-ho on a homebirth.. sorry, but I'm NOT a mom who likes cars while in labor. 

It looks like we MAY be considering moving, depends on a couple of factors, but if we don't move... oh freakin well. These neighbors are ridiculous.. I really am at the point I don't care about them at all right now lol

 

 

BK Mommy, woah small world! Where from? I'm from Eagle River, lived in Wasilla, living in Anchorage.


Wife to DH dh_malesling.GIF(12.10.2009), Anchorage based doula joy.gif, Proud mama to Autumnblahblah.gif (09.03.2008), Sylas bouncy.gif(04.25.2010), angel1.gif(06.11.2012), Callioperainbow1284.gif(04.23.2013)

alaskanmomma is offline  
#27 of 27 Old 11-27-2012, 12:10 PM
 
lightforest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 593
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I was a little worried about the neighbors when I was planning DD's birth. At the time we lived in a teeny NYC apartment in a big building, so there were plenty of people who could have heard something and wondered WTH was going on. BUT my neighbors were rather oblivious, which I'm sure worked in my favor. I ended up laboring for about 14 hours, including 2 hours of pushing (baby was born at 4am), but I wasn't a noisy birther. The bulk of the noise was coming from all the visitors crammed into our apartment, talking and having a nice time :)

 

The next evening I ran into a neighbor (his apartment shared a wall with our bedroom where I had the baby), and he was confused, asking when I'd had the baby because I didn't look pregnant all of the sudden! I asked if he didn't hear any noise coming from our apartment the night before, and he claimed to have not heard a peep. Go figure.

 

This time around we live in a condo with neighbors above and below. I suspect I will give them a heads up at some point, but I'm not as stressed over it as I was with my first HB.


Mama to A (08/10) & E (03/13).
lightforest is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off