Third birth, second I need a doula? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 01-31-2013, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
CookAMH's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: the great northwest
Posts: 4,472
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We had a doula for my first homebirth (a VBAC) and we had originally hired her because we were going to do a hospital birth and felt we needed the support in advocating for a VBAC. We kept her of course even though we switched to homebirth at 26 weeks, and she was really supportive and helpful in asking good questions of me while we weighed homebirth. The birth was FAST (2 hrs) so I think she actually arrived after the birth, but her help immediately after was good and I think DH felt supported. She got me food and tended to my upper half, lol, while my midwife stiched me up and the assistant midwife cleaned up. Our doula might have even helped clean up, I'm sure of it, but I wasn't focused on much after giving birth.


Anyway, what are your thoughts on a doula this time, for our third child and second homebirth? Obviously I don't know how long it would be. I've considered asking my mom if she wanted to come up before the birth to be there (either in the house to help with kids or maybe at the birth itself but I'm not sure about the latter yet).


If we got a doula, I'd use the same one and not search for another.  I don't anticipate needing a lot of prenatal support, it would mainly be her hands on help during labor. I suppose if I did have a longer labor where I needed support, I'd want her there.

Alicia, wife to an loving and faithful DH, and mama to three fantastic though nutty children (cs, then an HBAC, then a VBAC!!).
CookAMH is offline  
#2 of 7 Old 01-31-2013, 05:05 PM
Banana731's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the wild Midwestern Woods...
Posts: 3,718
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think that you may not NEED a doula, it's your 3rd time, you're having a HB, you know what you want.

All that said, if you liked having her at your birth, and you just want her there, go for it! Maybe she could help you pp, if you prefer that to prenatally. Talk to her.

I like having people who make the room better when they are in it at my births. I am a doula, this will be my 4th baby, my 3rd at home. I have a husband who would jump through a hoop of fire if I told him it would help me in labor. I have a great MW. I am still going to try to have my MWs former apprentice come doula for my birth, because I loved having her there. Do I need her? probably not? Do I think it will make my birth experience better, probably. That's enough for me!

Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...

Banana731 is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 02-01-2013, 08:44 AM
amlikam's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Berkshire County MA
Posts: 777
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

does your doula do Postpartum Doula work too, maybe you coudl see if she could be more available after birth than for the prenatals/labor and get that support that you might like after birth. doulas (even PP doulas are really good at modeling to others how to support a momma, so she coudl be helpful in helping family and friends.)  While subsequent labors typically are shorter, that is not always the case, so there is a chance it could be useful for you.

hang.gif  WOHMama to dust.gifDD (July 2008) and coolshine.gif DS (May 2013); wife to DH sleepytime.gif.

Live your life, like your life depends on it. joy.gif         

amlikam is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 02-01-2013, 10:07 AM
alaskanmomma's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm on my 3rd birth, it'll be my first home birth but my 2nd med-free birth. I'm hiring a doula for a multitude of reasons. I think(know) I could do it without her, I did it with the other two lol.

I'm hiring a doula mostly for labor support, no matter what time of the day I go into labor. I want DH to either stay at work or get as much sleep as possible depending on the day/time I go into labor. If I go into labor during the day on a work day, I'd of course WANT my husband to get off work, but he has a busy job, and may possibly be over an hour away at another store if I go into labor on a Thursday. He works with a pretty understanding crew, so if he was in the store 10 minutes away, I bet they'd tell him to go home pronto, but you just never know! If it's in the middle of the night, I bet DH will be fast asleep(as will our kids), so I think it would be best if he just got his sleep until it was really close to pushing time. I really only care that he supports me during pushing. 

If I go into labor and he comes home, is off, or just not tired and the kids are up, I want him to focus on their needs. Someone needs to tend to the kids, and I think they'd do better with dad than a stranger. There's the option of having them leave for labor/having someone come watch them, but that would entail they go with my MIL or my MIL comes to us, neither an option I want. I want the kids to be here for the birth as they want to be as well, and I don't want my MIL over while I'm in labor. Nice lady, but annoying lol. I don't even want the midwife really helping DH and I when I push the baby out unless there's a reason to, and my doula already said for the parts I want DH and not her, she'll gladly take over kid duty for a few especially since she'll be bringing her assistant. This works out great for me.

The ONLY part of having a doula I'm on the fence about is if I have to have a hospital transfer. My midwife and her assistant automatically become my doula, so idk if I'd really want the doula I'm hiring and her assistant, AND the midwives assistant all being my labor support there lol. I think that's borderline overkill lol. I'll probably discuss this issue with my doula tomorrow when we go over my birth plan. I think I'd ask for her assistant and the midwife assistant to leave in a transfer case. In the case of a c-section, I want someone with me in recovery, but I want DH with baby.. I just feel baby shouldn't be alone, so while I'd want him in recovery, I think it would be more beneficial that he's with our daughter and that I have a doula with me, and he has a doula with him to keep him calm and make sure DH doesn't let anyone hold that baby before me hahaha!


Wife to DH dh_malesling.GIF(12.10.2009), Anchorage based doula joy.gif, Proud mama to Autumnblahblah.gif (09.03.2008), Sylas bouncy.gif(04.25.2010), angel1.gif(06.11.2012), Callioperainbow1284.gif(04.23.2013)

alaskanmomma is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 02-01-2013, 02:28 PM
LeighPF's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 890
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am in a similar boat. Doula for #1 in the hospital was exactly what I needed. No Doula for #2 in the hospital birth center, and I could have used one until I got in the tub, but no big deal.

For #3 the plan is a home birth and I have an interview with a doula next week. I don't need one, my parents will likely be here for the kids, if not my neighbour (who may be at the birth if their is no kid duty, as may my mom) and the midwife (CNM) comes with assistant (CPM). And Husband.

Bee was a shortish birth (5.5 hours total, 3 of them down to business labour). And I am not a people person in labour. I just go into my world and give imperative commands occasionally that must be obeyed. Like AlaskanMomma my midwife becomes the doula if we transfer (except she delived as a midwife at that hospital for a decade and the nurses still treat her that way)


AlaskanMomma, would the doula be able to stay with the kids until other care could be arranged. She or the assistant would also be a good bouncer if needed, which it sounds like you may need.

Mama to Monkey (Jan '09), Bee (May '11), and Cat (August, '13)

LeighPF is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 02-01-2013, 07:39 PM - Thread Starter
CookAMH's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: the great northwest
Posts: 4,472
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm leaning toward hiring our doula again after reading various posts and thinking about it. I found out we'd get some partial financial assistance from the medical sharing program we're in. If it goes like last time (fast), I don't really "need" her, but if it doesn't, and is long or I need more support, I will be glad she's there. I honestly don't think I need to prenatal visits or two post partum visits, just one of each at the most.  My midwife comes at the point I'd be going to the hospital/active labor, so she doesn't really come early and provide support. She has an assistant midwife, and they come around the same time.  I'm also one who is totally up for suggestions, and this doula is very experienced (ICAN chapter leader, teaches a million childbirth education courses for pregnant women and to train CBEs).  She knows her stuff and she's hilarious.


If anything, with my labor my guess is if it's longer, I'd be more likely to have long early labor but still a short active labor. Who knows though.

Alicia, wife to an loving and faithful DH, and mama to three fantastic though nutty children (cs, then an HBAC, then a VBAC!!).
CookAMH is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 02-02-2013, 04:58 AM
vermontgirl's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Northern Vermont
Posts: 2,124
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We are pregnant with #3 and it is also our second homebirth and I have decided to have minimal bodies at the birth. Our midwife brings an assistant along with her and i will have my male partner there, who is very supportive and amazing. The fact is, i didn't need any support at all when I had Esther. I think a doula would be great for postpartum help. I will consider that, but I think the birth is more than covered. 


Good luck with your decision!

Living the Joyful life as a mama of three beautiful children who are just right the way they are.

I blog at chicken3.gif

vermontgirl is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off