For moms who have to pay cash for HB. How do you do it? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 1Likes
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 33 Old 04-11-2013, 09:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
Aradia88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 66
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I would like to ask how anyone pays for a HB cash out? My new midwife wants a $500 retainer to lock me in for oct. she said she has nobody else that is due in Oct. but we don't have the money or the $4000 to pay her. My husband is going back to college to collect his 9/11 VA bill money so we can pay her every month. But that wont start until June and the money wont start coming in till July. We are waiting for the college to accept some military paper work and then he has to do some taxes for his college.


I dont work out of the house or in the home, i also do not drive. I home school my two oldest and have a 3 year old. I am not crafty or bake. So i cant make money off any of that. Child care is another no no. I been on care.com for over a year and nobody hires me or there is no Parent/mom in my city that will drop off their child and pick them up. As i don't drive, i also don't have CPR knowledge etc.

 

I'm trying to figure out what to do. DH makes good amount of money but our bills and finances are more then he gets paid. we have a ton of stuff to pay off and no where near able to find $500. We just found out we need a new battery for the car and its over $100 or more.  My mother in law owes us $200 but i don't know when she will be able to pay the rest back. I don't know what to do, DH is pissed, stressed and all he talks about is how i should just deliver at a hospital so his insurance pays for it and $4500 is too much for a home birth. That he can deliver the baby himself ugh.

 

I ran out of ideas :( I don't know where to come up with the $500! I don't have any none sentimental jewelry to sell, i don;t have any gently used clothes either to sell. If anyone has any other ideas then what i mentioned i would like to read about it.

 

Thanks for reading my Rant.

applejuice likes this.
Aradia88 is offline  
#2 of 33 Old 04-12-2013, 12:19 AM
 
phathui5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 17,471
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

With our fourth baby, we had to pay out of pocket because I used a CPM who wasn't able to bill our insurance (as she wasn't licensed in our state). I made a small payment every month so that she would know we were trying, then paid the balance with our tax return.


Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
phathui5 is offline  
#3 of 33 Old 04-12-2013, 11:48 AM
 
dayiscoming2006's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

A lot of midwives require the retainer just so they don't miss out on other clients should you want to back out. It's just to feel a little more secure that you'd be sticking it out.

 

As far as affording it. I couldn't last time, so I did a UC. This time, we can barely afford it, but barely is good enough. The birth will cost us $3200 + supplies. If you really can't afford it, then I'd look into alternative options, UC, or natural hospital birth. I hate hospitals, but if I really had to, I'd make it work. Best wishes on making a decision. 


Happily married Christian SAHM of 2 boys, DD1 uc.jpg, and DD2 July 2013 homebirth.jpg 

 homeschool.gif   novaxnocirc.gif cd.gif   winner.jpg                                       

 

dayiscoming2006 is offline  
#4 of 33 Old 04-12-2013, 03:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
Aradia88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 66
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I dont want a hospital birth or a birthing center. For one there isnt any and two i had previous c-sections. I rather birth at home. I wont do a UC because if i tear im not about to leave the house and get it fixed.
 

Aradia88 is offline  
#5 of 33 Old 04-12-2013, 04:34 PM
 
dayiscoming2006's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aradia88 View Post

I dont want a hospital birth or a birthing center. For one there isnt any and two i had previous c-sections. I rather birth at home. I wont do a UC because if i tear im not about to leave the house and get it fixed.
 

 

OK, that's fine as long as you have the money. My point I was making is if you really didn't have the money, you would be forced into looking at other options. Hope things work out.


Happily married Christian SAHM of 2 boys, DD1 uc.jpg, and DD2 July 2013 homebirth.jpg 

 homeschool.gif   novaxnocirc.gif cd.gif   winner.jpg                                       

 

dayiscoming2006 is offline  
#6 of 33 Old 04-12-2013, 10:02 PM
 
alaskanmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It sucks, but if your insurance won't cover a homebirth, have you considered finding a VBAC friendly OB? Without the $500, it's sort of a bind on doing the homebirth if you won't UC and the midwife requires that down payment. Maybe do prenatals with an OB who your insurance will cover and when you get the $ see if the midwife will pick you up as a client then?
dayiscoming2006 likes this.

Wife to DH dh_malesling.GIF(12.10.2009), Anchorage based doula joy.gif, Proud mama to Autumnblahblah.gif (09.03.2008), Sylas bouncy.gif(04.25.2010), angel1.gif(06.11.2012), Callioperainbow1284.gif(04.23.2013)

alaskanmomma is offline  
#7 of 33 Old 04-13-2013, 02:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
Aradia88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 66
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskanmomma View Post

It sucks, but if your insurance won't cover a homebirth, have you considered finding a VBAC friendly OB? Without the $500, it's sort of a bind on doing the homebirth if you won't UC and the midwife requires that down payment. Maybe do prenatals with an OB who your insurance will cover and when you get the $ see if the midwife will pick you up as a client then?

I found a Student Midwife last nite. We talked for almost 40 mins. She has to bring her supervising Midwife with her and the women would do a flat rate of $3000 but the student midwife said she is off all of oct when im due lol. But she will talk to her if not she has to ask the other midwife that wants to charge me $4500 and see if she will do $300 and split it. I am just waiting for a call back. Im really nervous and excited because i think this may work out better. DH said we can do $3000 but nothing more.

Aradia88 is offline  
#8 of 33 Old 04-13-2013, 02:14 PM
 
purplerose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 899
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We got a personal loan. If we couldn't have done that, I would have gone with a fam doc about 40 minutes away who does natural births in a good hospital.


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

purplerose is offline  
#9 of 33 Old 04-14-2013, 12:29 AM
 
alaskanmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aradia88 View Post

I found a Student Midwife last nite. We talked for almost 40 mins. She has to bring her supervising Midwife with her and the women would do a flat rate of $3000 but the student midwife said she is off all of oct when im due lol. But she will talk to her if not she has to ask the other midwife that wants to charge me $4500 and see if she will do $300 and split it. I am just waiting for a call back. Im really nervous and excited because i think this may work out better. DH said we can do $3000 but nothing more.
I hope it all works out for you orngbiggrin.gif!

Wife to DH dh_malesling.GIF(12.10.2009), Anchorage based doula joy.gif, Proud mama to Autumnblahblah.gif (09.03.2008), Sylas bouncy.gif(04.25.2010), angel1.gif(06.11.2012), Callioperainbow1284.gif(04.23.2013)

alaskanmomma is offline  
#10 of 33 Old 04-14-2013, 01:17 AM
 
DHinJersey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: joisy
Posts: 127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aradia88 View Post

I would like to ask how anyone pays for a HB cash out? My new midwife wants a $500 retainer to lock me in for oct. she said she has nobody else that is due in Oct. but we don't have the money or the $4000 to pay her. My husband is going back to college to collect his 9/11 VA bill money so we can pay her every month. But that wont start until June and the money wont start coming in till July. We are waiting for the college to accept some military paper work and then he has to do some taxes for his college.


I dont work out of the house or in the home, i also do not drive. I home school my two oldest and have a 3 year old. I am not crafty or bake. So i cant make money off any of that. Child care is another no no. I been on care.com for over a year and nobody hires me or there is no Parent/mom in my city that will drop off their child and pick them up. As i don't drive, i also don't have CPR knowledge etc.

I'm trying to figure out what to do. DH makes good amount of money but our bills and finances are more then he gets paid. we have a ton of stuff to pay off and no where near able to find $500. We just found out we need a new battery for the car and its over $100 or more.  My mother in law owes us $200 but i don't know when she will be able to pay the rest back. I don't know what to do, DH is pissed, stressed and all he talks about is how i should just deliver at a hospital so his insurance pays for it and $4500 is too much for a home birth. That he can deliver the baby himself ugh.

I ran out of ideas greensad.gif I don't know where to come up with the $500! I don't have any none sentimental jewelry to sell, i don;t have any gently used clothes either to sell. If anyone has any other ideas then what i mentioned i would like to read about it.

Thanks for reading my Rant.

For me, the stress of coming up with all that money would far outweigh any benefit that could come from homebirth. I'd seek out an obgyn who is natural childbirth friendly that takes your husband's insurance.
DHinJersey is offline  
#11 of 33 Old 04-14-2013, 04:26 AM
 
JaiMaMaV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 22
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I hate to hear that other people are going through/have gone through this. It's so sad that women can be forced to birth somewhere other than where they feel most comfortable due to insurance issues.

 

My insurance is covering less than half of my homebirth, so I also owe about $4000 to the midwife. It's been tough, especially because I am a single mom and have so many other bills/things to worry about, but I've been putting a little bit away each month for the birth. Luckily my midwife doesn't require a retainer or I might not have been able to afford it. 

 

The student midwife option sounds great! In case (heaven forbid) it doesn't work out... Have you mentioned to your midwife about your financial situation? It's possible that she may bend her retainer policy for you if she is aware of what's going on (waiting for the college & paperwork, etc).

 

Good luck!!!!!

dayiscoming2006 likes this.
JaiMaMaV is offline  
#12 of 33 Old 04-14-2013, 08:20 AM
 
John16n33's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 482
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We are using our income tax to pay for the birth (also in October) or we couldn't do it.  Our midwife has also offered to allow us to make payments if necesassary.  To make money on the side I am currently working at my aunt's store every other weekend while I am in Texas student teaching (couldn't find anywhere to do it in Hawaii).  When I get back to Hawaii I hope to find a few kids to tutor during the week to make some extra cash.  I also clean houses on the side.


-Meagan

 

A Christian, crunchy, homeschooling southern wife to D and mama to A (5) who loves ( treehugger.gif, knit.gif,teapot2.GIF, and reading.gif)

 

John16n33 is offline  
#13 of 33 Old 04-14-2013, 01:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
Aradia88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 66
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I dont think the midwife cares. Personally she doesnt need $4500! She lives 10 minutes from me and would take her 10 mins to get here unless shes far but thats not my problem! She charges way too much for a local home birth. I am not going to a hospital period. I know people mentioned it but i had two previous c-sections, one home birth. There is no Natural friendly doc obgyn. i do not want to be in some nasty hospital on some nasty bed. I want to be home. Midwife or not. i will have a unassisted birth i dont care. The student midwife now cant see me because her Supervising midwife is on "vacation" all of October and the first week of November. the other midwife that would be with the student midwife is the same lady still wanting to charge me $4500 and still wants $500 retainer. whatever. I have contacted 20 midwifes since i found out i was pregnant and emailed them twice. The only midwife i interviewed knows my financial problems. They are not even mine. we are in debt because of DH. we have 15 credit cards not including, Car payment, car insurance, water, gas and electric, rent, food, gas for car etc etc. we cant come up with $500 at all. I know its cheaper then a Hospital birth but its still A lot for someone who isnt Rich.

The other midwifes are pregnant and wont take me because they will be on maternity leave when im due, on vacation or too expensive too far.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaiMaMaV View Post

I hate to hear that other people are going through/have gone through this. It's so sad that women can be forced to birth somewhere other than where they feel most comfortable due to insurance issues.

 

My insurance is covering less than half of my homebirth, so I also owe about $4000 to the midwife. It's been tough, especially because I am a single mom and have so many other bills/things to worry about, but I've been putting a little bit away each month for the birth. Luckily my midwife doesn't require a retainer or I might not have been able to afford it. 

 

The student midwife option sounds great! In case (heaven forbid) it doesn't work out... Have you mentioned to your midwife about your financial situation? It's possible that she may bend her retainer policy for you if she is aware of what's going on (waiting for the college & paperwork, etc).

 

Good luck!!!!!

Aradia88 is offline  
#14 of 33 Old 04-14-2013, 01:43 PM
 
kitteh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Santa Monica
Posts: 1,540
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh mama, I feel your pain! I was really hoping that the student midwife option would come through for you, I'm so sorry that fell through.

I'm sort of in a similar boat, I want a home birth so very badly and actually found a midwifery practice that would do it for $3,000 with $600 retainer. We actually have the money, but it's part of our emergency fund and I don't really feel comfortable using it for a non-emergency. Over the past few weeks we have had a few small emergencies that have dipped into our savings, so we don't even have the 3k readily accessable. Plus, we have worked really really hard to get out of debt and build our emergency fund over the past 2-3 years, so I kind of feel like this is something I ought to have planned for, financially.

Luckily I have the option to have a natural waterbirth in a hospital setting with CNMs, but I.still just DO NOT want to labor in a nasty hospital room, and have to go recover in a nasty, shared recovery room! Plus, the hospital is a good 20-30 minute drive from us, but could take as long as 2 hours if I happen to go into labor during rush hour.

I've fantasized about doing it at home unassisted--especially since the birthing tub has arrived and I can envision it in our space, and how wonderful and stress-free it would be to labor here at home. But I'm not sure I feel comfortable going completely unassisted. If anything went wrong i dont think i could ever forgive myself.

Anyhow, sorry for rambling in your thread. But you are not alone in having your birth options limited due to finances. It really sucks and I wish that no mama ever had to be in this position. Have you looked into petitioning your dh's insurance to cover the home birth midwife? Though, they usually reimburse after the fact, so maybe that's of no use to you still. Good luck mama, keep us posted on what you finally decide/figure out.

Married 12/08 to Chilean DH and mama to DD 2/2/10. We're a bilingual home and we familybed1.gif and toddler.gif

 

Expecting #2 in late June!

kitteh is offline  
#15 of 33 Old 04-14-2013, 02:27 PM
 
dayiscoming2006's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

If you don't manage to find a midwife I think unassisted is a good option. I would consider if you want to do a bit of prenatal care. Maybe an ultrasound and a couple appointments with an OB or hospital midwife if you have those. I did that with my unassisted birth. Then I dropped them when I found out all was well and felt they wouldn't be an option to birth with. It's just good to have the reassurance that everything is going well. The Unassisted birth section on mothering was extremely helpful to me. It helps you feel more prepared. They have threads about good books to buy or check out from the library, supplies lists, good websites, etc. 


Happily married Christian SAHM of 2 boys, DD1 uc.jpg, and DD2 July 2013 homebirth.jpg 

 homeschool.gif   novaxnocirc.gif cd.gif   winner.jpg                                       

 

dayiscoming2006 is offline  
#16 of 33 Old 04-14-2013, 03:09 PM
 
purplerose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 899
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Birth is how midwives make a living. They have bills, gas and wear and tear of car, clothes can get ruined, the fee covers tests they do (My midwife drew my blood and sent it off, the labwork was part of the fee), all the supplies she brings, all the post-partum care. Plus they usually will give more visits than what is contracted if you need them. Most people don't work for just their costs of working, they make some extra, same with midwives.

 

Have you looked into using a birth center?

 

At any rate, make sure you have a homebirth friendly ped for if you need baby checked for some reason after the birth. I had a horrible experience after my UC when I didn't choose the ped wisely and she reported us to CPS. For the next birth I did want and pay for a midwife but I had a very homebirth/novax supportive doctor as backup and as my daughter's doctor before she was born.


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

purplerose is offline  
#17 of 33 Old 04-14-2013, 03:30 PM
 
dayiscoming2006's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplerose View Post

At any rate, make sure you have a homebirth friendly ped for if you need baby checked for some reason after the birth. I had a horrible experience after my UC when I didn't choose the ped wisely and she reported us to CPS. For the next birth I did want and pay for a midwife but I had a very homebirth/novax supportive doctor as backup and as my daughter's doctor before she was born.

I agree with this. Good advice. I had a supportive family doctor check my baby 2 days after she was born. If it wasn't for him, I would have had a lot of trouble getting the paperwork taken care of for the birth certificate and stuff. Part of the reason I will be using a midwife this time is because then I won't have to deal with going to see a doc or the paperwork and don't want to get in any trouble. But, if you can find a supportive doc to check baby if need be, that would be perfect.


Happily married Christian SAHM of 2 boys, DD1 uc.jpg, and DD2 July 2013 homebirth.jpg 

 homeschool.gif   novaxnocirc.gif cd.gif   winner.jpg                                       

 

dayiscoming2006 is offline  
#18 of 33 Old 04-15-2013, 12:53 PM
 
Meksmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Bridgeport, NY
Posts: 1,257
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Can you barter with her? Grow some extra veggies for her family or make something for her if you are handy or you dh is?? 


treehugger.gif Birth and PP doula, Mama to DD (7/04) DS (3/08)    belly.gifwith #3 EDD 11/29/13, and 30+ chicken3.gif , 2 ducks

 

 

Meksmama is offline  
#19 of 33 Old 04-15-2013, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
Aradia88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 66
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 View Post

If you don't manage to find a midwife I think unassisted is a good option. I would consider if you want to do a bit of prenatal care. Maybe an ultrasound and a couple appointments with an OB or hospital midwife if you have those. I did that with my unassisted birth. Then I dropped them when I found out all was well and felt they wouldn't be an option to birth with. It's just good to have the reassurance that everything is going well. The Unassisted birth section on mothering was extremely helpful to me. It helps you feel more prepared. They have threads about good books to buy or check out from the library, supplies lists, good websites, etc. 


I was but now i cant. I came to the conclusion why my placenta was not coming out on its own within 30 mins. I was not contracting and i could very well have scar tissue from my first two previous c-sections. So i rather have a Midwife and assistants with me. last nite and today i was told NO by 3 people and the 4th wanted me to pay her $3500 LOL plus she wants me to waste my time and gas to go to Bakersfield to see a "OB" On the side and PAY CASH of $400 haha... im sorry but thats just stupid. i may have scar tissue but she gave me a quote of $3,000 even the last time we spoke a few months back in jan. I am not driving over a hour to see some OB and pay this man cash. I have no idea what to do if a baby cant breath, he/she cant come out because he or she is stuck, if i tear, if i bleed more or if my placenta is not coming out again... I just have to chuck out $4500 to the only midwife avail if she still will be once i get her Retainer. which is absolutely dumb. she lives 10 mins from me. I shouldnt have to pay her gas to see other clients. if i want a midwife she should be helping me and i should be paying her for her services helping me. Not to other women. she is money hungry and greedy.

Aradia88 is offline  
#20 of 33 Old 04-15-2013, 04:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
Aradia88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 66
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplerose View Post

Birth is how midwives make a living. They have bills, gas and wear and tear of car, clothes can get ruined, the fee covers tests they do (My midwife drew my blood and sent it off, the labwork was part of the fee), all the supplies she brings, all the post-partum care. Plus they usually will give more visits than what is contracted if you need them. Most people don't work for just their costs of working, they make some extra, same with midwives.

 

Have you looked into using a birth center?

 

At any rate, make sure you have a homebirth friendly ped for if you need baby checked for some reason after the birth. I had a horrible experience after my UC when I didn't choose the ped wisely and she reported us to CPS. For the next birth I did want and pay for a midwife but I had a very homebirth/novax supportive doctor as backup and as my daughter's doctor before she was born.


I can not do birth centers. for one i dont want too and secondly, i had two c-sections. I wont be getting blood tests. i got them done for free with a temporary medical card in March. Im going to just pay the money for the only midwife available to see me and wont be on vacation. there is no other way

Aradia88 is offline  
#21 of 33 Old 04-15-2013, 04:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
Aradia88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 66
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meksmama View Post

Can you barter with her? Grow some extra veggies for her family or make something for her if you are handy or you dh is?? 


Grow? LOL i dont Garden.. i live in a apartment complex. I dont bake or sew. No she wont barter. i asked her everything she could lower or anything else. she wants her $500 now or its nothing. shes money hungry sorry. its just the truth. she is nice to me but seriously, she just wants money. she can lower her fees to $3000 or less. she lives 10 mins from me and again i shouldnt have to pay her $4500 for her gas to see other clients. And i really dont care if people dont agree with me. this is how i feel and how my husband feels. My husband is right for once. Where we live it isnt a rich community. Everyone is poor or middle class. People dont have that type of money. its just now realistic. the farther you live and more rural area the prices should be lower and lower.

Aradia88 is offline  
#22 of 33 Old 04-15-2013, 10:53 PM
 
alaskanmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I felt bad for you at first, but now you sound like one of those girls on "My Super Sweet 16" who got a Lexus instead of a Mercedes.. The midwives fee is pretty darn reasonable, and not money hungry. She has to make a living just like everyone else, that $4500 isn't really a lot for NINE months of care, around the clock care starting at 37 weeks. Her fee isn't covering anyone but you, and regardless if she's 10 minutes, 3 hours, or across the hall from you, she deserves and earns her minimum wage for all the prenatal care, being there for who knows how long during L&D, and post partum visits.
CortLong and Jayray like this.

Wife to DH dh_malesling.GIF(12.10.2009), Anchorage based doula joy.gif, Proud mama to Autumnblahblah.gif (09.03.2008), Sylas bouncy.gif(04.25.2010), angel1.gif(06.11.2012), Callioperainbow1284.gif(04.23.2013)

alaskanmomma is offline  
#23 of 33 Old 04-15-2013, 10:59 PM
 
Alenushka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 1,893
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I agree with your DH. This is huge amount of money and I do not think you should use his VA bill for it. If he is going to college an you are not working, you need every cent.

 

By the way, CPR card is not that expensive to get and yes, parent want CPR certified babysitters now.

Alenushka is offline  
#24 of 33 Old 04-16-2013, 05:43 AM
 
dayiscoming2006's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Yeah, the fee is actually the norm for home births. I've seen anywhere from 2800-4500. Heard of as much as 5000 or 6000 in spendier areas. It depends on the area and the amount of clients and all kinds of things(maybe experience level?), but its not an unusual amount. When I was in Montana, she wanted 4000 and I didn't have it. That is part of the reason I chose UC that time. Gotta do what you gotta do.


Happily married Christian SAHM of 2 boys, DD1 uc.jpg, and DD2 July 2013 homebirth.jpg 

 homeschool.gif   novaxnocirc.gif cd.gif   winner.jpg                                       

 

dayiscoming2006 is offline  
#25 of 33 Old 04-16-2013, 09:51 AM
 
stephbrownthinks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Central Coast, CA
Posts: 245
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I understand how you feel like a home birth is your only option and its being denied to you. I was devastated when I thought I'd have to have a hospital birth with my first. Back to your original question of "mom's who have to pay cash, how do you do it?" We save and do whatever it takes to come up with the money. With DS1 and DS2 we were able to save and put aside most of the money before hand, $4500 each plus with DS1 I had the first 30 weeks of care with an OB and nurse midwives while on a high deductible insurance plan so I had to pay another additional 2k out of pocket. For this one, due to our current financial situation it has been much harder to come up with the money. But we are doing what it takes. I am cutting back where ever I can, and my husband is working lots of weekends and side jobs.

 

As passionate as I am about a home birth, if we truly couldn't afford to even come up with $500, I would have a hospital birth. I have EXTREME hospital anxiety, and truly believe that for low risk pregnancies home is the safest place to give birth, but if my family needed the money that badly there is no way I could deprive them in order to have a home birth. Do you qualify for medicaid? If so you could have all your prenatal care for free, and basically go to the hospital when you're ready to push. Then sign an AMA form and leave early. Or I would advocate for an unassisted birth but it sounds like you might not be a good candidate for that. If money is really that tight, not shelling out the $500 much less the $4500 you're struggling to come up with would mean your DH could maybe spend some more time home with the family after the birth, or you could pay off some of the debts that are weighing you down now. If your finances are that bad, $4500 still in your pockets would probably make a huge difference to your quality of life.

 

I'm so sorry you're in this situation, and I honestly do mean all of this gently.

 

I don't think its fair to say that the midwife doesn't "need" the money. Even if she's extremely wealthy (which most midwives are not), and you have an extremely easy pregnancy and delivery she could potentially end up spending hours or even days with you. She has her own bills and expenses, and has paid for training and assistants and insurance and equipment and taxes and who knows what else. She's taking on the liability of attending you when others are refusing. I know it feels personal to you, but in reality its her BUSINESS and she should be able to make her own decisions. Even if she can afford to lower her rate to $3000, or even $1000 it might not be worth it to her to have to give up the time with her family or for some other reason. Again, and I don't mean this harshly, it's not her problem if you can't afford her fee.

 

If it really is that important to you and you feel like a homebirth is the only option, you have from now until October to come up with the money. Have garage sales, get a part time job working nights, have your husband get a second job, figure out a way to cut your expenses more. Or find a way to somehow come to peace with it not working out.

stephbrownthinks is offline  
#26 of 33 Old 04-19-2013, 02:40 PM
 
DHinJersey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: joisy
Posts: 127
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Isn't the idea to have a baby...not a birth experience? You want something, but you can't afford it. That's life. I want to send my child to the super awesome private school but we can't afford it so he will go to public school even though it isn't the best possible situation.

Forget about propoganda like The Business of Being Born. There are thousands of good and caring obgyns in this country and millions of women have perfectly fine hospital births. Pay $200 for a doula who can help you labor at je for a while and be your advocate in the hospital. Let your husband use his GI bill for its intended purpose.
DHinJersey is offline  
#27 of 33 Old 04-19-2013, 05:31 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,601
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 79 Post(s)

Op, have you considered consolidating some of your CC payments? 

 

To me, your MW needs to determine her fee - it is not really for clients to say what she needs in terms of making a profit (which I doubt is all that much).  I have heard of A LOT of MWs doing some sort of sliding scale. If you're in the central valley, I imagine there are quite a few other MWs to talk to.  

 

As for me, UC is not an option and though I do support UC for a mother/family prepared to take on those types of responsibility, I wonder if financial reasons for choosing a UC are in one's best interest.  

 

Another thought, would you consider going further for a hospital that you consider mother/child friendly? 


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#28 of 33 Old 04-19-2013, 05:35 PM
 
dayiscoming2006's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama View Post

As for me, UC is not an option and though I do support UC for a mother/family prepared to take on those types of responsibility, I wonder if financial reasons for choosing a UC are in one's best interest.  

 

 

If you are desperate for a homebirth and can't afford it, then that's kinda the only option though. OP suggested she HATES hospitals. That's the only reason I suggested looking into it. I do agree she and her DP would need to be comfortable with the decision. I did it partially for financial reasons and it was the right call at the time. 


Happily married Christian SAHM of 2 boys, DD1 uc.jpg, and DD2 July 2013 homebirth.jpg 

 homeschool.gif   novaxnocirc.gif cd.gif   winner.jpg                                       

 

dayiscoming2006 is offline  
#29 of 33 Old 04-19-2013, 05:51 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,601
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 79 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 View Post

 

If you are desperate for a homebirth and can't afford it, then that's kinda the only option though. OP suggested she HATES hospitals. That's the only reason I suggested looking into it. I do agree she and her DP would need to be comfortable with the decision. I did it partially for financial reasons and it was the right call at the time. 

Yes, I do agree that if you are inclined that way, it makes sense to include financial concerns into consideration. The OP does not sound all that comfortable or ready to take on the responsibility of UC and I think we can all agree that a VBA2C mama not that interested in UC isn't a good candidate - probably no matter the level of anxiety over hospital birth.  

 

 

OP, I went back and read through this thread.  I do urge you to ask some more questions of the only MW available.  I would ask about the fee and what it covers so that you can get to a better place with the payment plan and price. That along with all the regular questions about experience, fit and etc. I also urge you to discuss transfer charges and etc. When I had a HB in CA we were responsible for both the MW fee and whatever hospital co-pays in the event of transfer. You may also want to ask about testing and whether your MW can foresee any testing she would require for you to remain in her care - specifically something you may have to pay out of pocket for. There will be a birth kit fee and some other requirements down the road. 

 

Have you looked into petitioning your insurance to pay for this?  When I had a HB in CA I remember insurance being very flexible. You may not get the whole fee but you may get a chunk. It's worth a call or discussion with the MW. I also second the idea of seeing if you qualify for the CA equivalent of medical assistance. There may be a program that you can pay into (for a small fee) that would get you coverage. If the MWs in your area are all charging this fee then either folks can afford it or there are insurance programs/assistance programs helping to pay.  Would you like some help looking into these things? 

 

Also, I'm not sure if you have already had a VBAC but there may be some wonderful resources for you. Especially in Bakersfield, there may be an ICAN office or rep who can recommend some service providers.  Have you had a VBAC already?  Was that in a hospital?  


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#30 of 33 Old 04-22-2014, 07:56 AM
 
tblower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 17
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

How did things work out?

tblower is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off