It looks like im not having a Home Birth this time around - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-24-2013, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We cant financially afford it... We could go broke and not be able to pay our credit cards if we do it. Which is something we cant do. We been trying to pay them off for a LONG time. We have too many not just 2 or 3.. WAY TOO MANY. We want to buy a house soon. We are renting right now and there is no room for a 4th child. My two older girls sleep in one bedroom and my son that is 3 sleeps in the same bed as Me and DH. Once the baby is born i dont know where my little boy is going to go. I dont want him on the carpet near the bed. it just seems idk wrong. we have a queen size bed too. Anyway, i was really looking forward to a Second Homebirth but its not financially feasible. I found a Nice Doula that charges cheap, $700 and will go with me to the hospital. I know DH will be a great support but i want someone else, someone i dont personally know since forever to help me. I know that sounds dumb but thats how i feel. I dont want to give into a c-section or epidural. I want to labor on my own and birth on my own. If i have to squat i will. Its one reason i didnt want to be in a hospital. it just seems dirty. But this is our only option and i will be making a point at the hospital that my child will not be touched by anyone or taken away any where. They can check her heart rate on my arms and lay her on the bed with me to measure etc.. No eye ointment, no vaccines no nursery. I want to leave ASAP lol.

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Old 05-24-2013, 06:22 PM
 
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It sounds like you made a great decision for your family. A doula will most certainly make the birth feel more homey. Know your hospitals routines and rules so you'll know where you'll need to be diligent and where you can relax. The hospital I think I will go with.is the least fancy in town, but the docs will lay on the floor with a flashlight aimed at your hoohoo so you can give birth standing up. Good luck!
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Old 05-24-2013, 08:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It sounds like you made a great decision for your family. A doula will most certainly make the birth feel more homey. Know your hospitals routines and rules so you'll know where you'll need to be diligent and where you can relax. The hospital I think I will go with.is the least fancy in town, but the docs will lay on the floor with a flashlight aimed at your hoohoo so you can give birth standing up. Good luck!

Lol oh yah? Thanks for the tip. I wish i could be at the comfort of my house but this time it wont happen. I also want to bring my placenta home and wait until the cord stops pulsating among other things like no eye ointment, no vaccines. I will need to write and print a birth plan. Can you get something like that legally done? Like notorized?
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Old 05-24-2013, 09:37 PM
 
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A doctor and hospital wouldn't accept a document like that with the legal ties because it opens them up to litigation. Write your plan, know the hospital rules and state laws, and make sure you have someone, preferably your partner, remind hospital staff of your needs, desires and rights. Some states (TX) do not allow you to take your placenta without court order. The rest of what you would like is fairly common these days and you won't be the first for them. Also consider asking about continuous fetal monitoring (it sounds like you wouldn't be down with that.
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Old 05-24-2013, 11:18 PM
 
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When I work as a doula, I help people work on their birth plan. Maybe that's something you can ask your doula to do with you.


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Old 05-25-2013, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A doctor and hospital wouldn't accept a document like that with the legal ties because it opens them up to litigation. Write your plan, know the hospital rules and state laws, and make sure you have someone, preferably your partner, remind hospital staff of your needs, desires and rights. Some states (TX) do not allow you to take your placenta without court order. The rest of what you would like is fairly common these days and you won't be the first for them. Also consider asking about continuous fetal monitoring (it sounds like you wouldn't be down with that.


Yeah i know but i live in california so i dont think we have strict rules against anything. All i know is im getting a waiver for ALL Vaccines. No vitamin K and yes your right i dont want continuous fetal monitoring. and i wont be on the bed 24/7... Im hoping i deliver, take my baby and my placenta home as soon as shes out LOL... I dont need to be there for like 2 days to be checked.

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Old 05-25-2013, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When I work as a doula, I help people work on their birth plan. Maybe that's something you can ask your doula to do with you.


Yes. I see her May 31st at 2pm if she doesnt have anyone else. I already have a birth plan but its for a homebirth. Im still pissed and sad i cant have what i want. I know DH would splurge the money but then we would never pay our $10K off. I dont know anything about the hospital. If they have a shower inside or a tub, if im allowed music. There are no Maternity tour pics on the hospital website. I have to call On Monday at the maternity ward to ask. I know its memorial day but the maternity ward never closes lol

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Old 05-25-2013, 03:27 PM
 
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I think you have some preconcieved notions about hospitals. They do not tie people down to bed 24/7 , do not shave and do not force an epidural on you.

 

Many of my friends have medication free birth in California hospital.

 

Do not just call, take a tour of your local hospital or two.

 

As far as dirty, hospitals are cleaned all the time. IT is people from the community who bring bacteria in. Just google "community MRSA"

 

Actaully, if we swam your skin right now or your kitchen counter, or your kids, some pretty gross things would grow.

 

My hospital was fine with me walking, I had my music with me and not one forced an epidural on me. THe shower was limitless and there were tubs.  Someone else cleaned everything and my baby was with me right away, slime and all.

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Old 05-25-2013, 04:20 PM
 
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I agree with Alenushka. I think you would do yourself a service if you take time to mourn your homebirth, process those feelings, and then let it go. That way you can go into this hospital birth accepting it for what it is instead of railing against it for what it might not be, if that makes sense. I'm pretty sure that if you go in with the defensive attitude that I'm reading in these posts (and your original post about how to afford a home birth) then you are much more likely to get a defensive, adversarial reaction from the hospital staff. Not that I'm blaming you for having those feelings! I totally understand because I wanted a homebirth the first time around and knew we couldn't afford it, and I really REALLY wanted one this time around and although we have the money, it would not be a sound financial decision for our family, so I have had to make the same tough choice that you are making. It's really hard for me to let go of my "ideal" birth. But in order to have the best birth possible under the circumstances as they are, I have to move forward and accept reality as it is. I've been utilizing mindful meditation practice to help me with this.

 

My first birth was with the UCLA midwives, and I spend a good deal of time in the shower (the room I was in didn't have a tub, but it was one of the only without.) I had intermittent fetal monitoring with a handheld doppler, no fetal monitoring belt (except right away when we first arrived.) I agreed to a heplock, so I didn't need an IV line, and I labored mostly standing up (walking around between contractions and leaning over a tall table rocking my hips back and forth while DH applied counter pressure.) I didn't have any desire to eat but could have if I wanted to.

 

The only vaccine you need to decline is the Hep B one, no others were offered to me in the hospital. I easily declined the eye ointment, but we allowed the vit K. Because I had a natural vaginal birth free from complications and no pain meds I was free to go within a few hours of the birth (but I chose to stay overnight because I was exhausted after 28 hours of labor!) I didn't ask to take my placenta, but I have heard others who had no problem taking theirs.

 

This time I'm delivering at another hospital, not as nice, but they offer waterbirths. I don't think I will have any problem achieving the natural birth that I desire. I have a strong birth team who were with me for baby #1 and I trust that we will be able to create a bubble of serenity and strength wherever I happen to birth.


Married 12/08 to Chilean DH and mama to DD 2/2/10. We're a bilingual home and we familybed1.gif and toddler.gif

 

Expecting #2 in late June!

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Old 05-25-2013, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree with Alenushka. I think you would do yourself a service if you take time to mourn your homebirth, process those feelings, and then let it go. That way you can go into this hospital birth accepting it for what it is instead of railing against it for what it might not be, if that makes sense. I'm pretty sure that if you go in with the defensive attitude that I'm reading in these posts (and your original post about how to afford a home birth) then you are much more likely to get a defensive, adversarial reaction from the hospital staff. Not that I'm blaming you for having those feelings! I totally understand because I wanted a homebirth the first time around and knew we couldn't afford it, and I really REALLY wanted one this time around and although we have the money, it would not be a sound financial decision for our family, so I have had to make the same tough choice that you are making. It's really hard for me to let go of my "ideal" birth. But in order to have the best birth possible under the circumstances as they are, I have to move forward and accept reality as it is. I've been utilizing mindful meditation practice to help me with this.

 

My first birth was with the UCLA midwives, and I spend a good deal of time in the shower (the room I was in didn't have a tub, but it was one of the only without.) I had intermittent fetal monitoring with a handheld doppler, no fetal monitoring belt (except right away when we first arrived.) I agreed to a heplock, so I didn't need an IV line, and I labored mostly standing up (walking around between contractions and leaning over a tall table rocking my hips back and forth while DH applied counter pressure.) I didn't have any desire to eat but could have if I wanted to.

 

The only vaccine you need to decline is the Hep B one, no others were offered to me in the hospital. I easily declined the eye ointment, but we allowed the vit K. Because I had a natural vaginal birth free from complications and no pain meds I was free to go within a few hours of the birth (but I chose to stay overnight because I was exhausted after 28 hours of labor!) I didn't ask to take my placenta, but I have heard others who had no problem taking theirs.

 

This time I'm delivering at another hospital, not as nice, but they offer waterbirths. I don't think I will have any problem achieving the natural birth that I desire. I have a strong birth team who were with me for baby #1 and I trust that we will be able to create a bubble of serenity and strength wherever I happen to birth.


Thanks for your Opinions and input. Your right.. And i think im always going to be some what sad i never had one. I dont know if mine has water births or a small tub. I couldnt labor on my bed with my 3rd son. I needed that hot water and it was a lot faster then i imagined. I will be calling to make a tour and see how it looks. it is the only Vbac hospital within 38 mins away. I am in Victorville and none of the hospitals here do Vbacs. I just been hearing a lot of stories of dirty hospitals and how cps comes and takes your child away because you didnt want this vaccine or this and that.

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Old 05-25-2013, 06:36 PM
 
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I think that all birth camps have their fundamentalists that do their share of inciting fears and myths about the otherside. The best you can do is try and stay on the middle path. Really unpleasant and sometimes horrific things happen no matter the setting. Know your facts, rights and desires. There is no reason to budge on hep b but you may need to compromise on somethings and that is okay if you are informed, the discussion includes you and you make the ultimate call. CPS is not wasting their time on vaccine refusal, eye goop refusal or anything else of that nature. Usually when CPS is called there are extenuating (real or fabricated) circumstances that people forget. Hospitals, docs, CNMs, and nurses generally want the best for you. I really hope you get a great "hospital homebirth", they happen, I had one.
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Old 05-25-2013, 08:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think that all birth camps have their fundamentalists that do their share of inciting fears and myths about the otherside. The best you can do is try and stay on the middle path. Really unpleasant and sometimes horrific things happen no matter the setting. Know your facts, rights and desires. There is no reason to budge on hep b but you may need to compromise on somethings and that is okay if you are informed, the discussion includes you and you make the ultimate call. CPS is not wasting their time on vaccine refusal, eye goop refusal or anything else of that nature. Usually when CPS is called there are extenuating (real or fabricated) circumstances that people forget. Hospitals, docs, CNMs, and nurses generally want the best for you. I really hope you get a great "hospital homebirth", they happen, I had one.


Yep thanks :) I hope i get a great birth too. i do ! And i found out that the doctor that i thought does vbacs does them but not with any of the 3 medical groups and at the hospital that i want. Its the closest. So now i have to wait for a phone call for a different doctor that says on Health Grades he does work at that hospital, he does take our insurance and does do Vbacs and the medical grp. I just want to Confirm it because i need my new insurance card done again. Its getting to be a pain. ALL the Doctors do not do vbacs any where near me!

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Old 05-26-2013, 09:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Update-

Called the Nurse in charge.. she was very nice and open and honest with me. She basically told me to have a Home birth or go to a birthing center. She may not know but birthing centers accept cash or PPO. i have a HMO insurance. She told me i have to have established OB care with a Vbac friendly doctor who will tell everyone in the hospital my birth plan on what i want or it wont happen. She told me that most of the Nurses that work at that hospital follow policy and will make you wear a hospital gown and put your clothes in a bag because they dont know where my clothes been, if i brought in germs or bugs!? And if i want to wear what i want, drink, eat, listen to a ipod the hospital isnt where i should be. She told me that her Niece had a C-section with her first child and had a home birth with the second. All of her female relatives had home births or birth centers because of what they wanted. I cant afford anything. I feel stuck, i cant just not pay our debt off. We will never get out ever.

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Old 05-27-2013, 12:51 PM
 
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I'm sorry that your hospital is like that, I'm glad you found out now. It is so unfortunate that hospitals can't all be progressive and follow evidence based practices to help mom and baby. I hope a solution presents itself.
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Old 05-28-2013, 12:38 AM
 
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Do you have any other hospitals in your area that you could use?


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Old 05-30-2013, 06:33 PM
 
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You may want to consider an unassisted birth (www.unassistedbirth.com). Many women have had successful UCs (I've had 2 myself). I know it seems scary on the surface, but I recommend poking around the website i linked to and doing some research. You may be surprised with what you discover!
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