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#1 of 65 Old 08-05-2013, 06:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know this may be a volatile topic because there are many people who have opted against circumcising their sons. Honestly, I'm not sure where I stand on the matter. However, I am planning a homebirth and am would like to have some sort of plan in place if we do have a boy and opt to have him circumcised. For those who did have or will have their son circumcised, who did you have do it and where?

Thanks!

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#2 of 65 Old 08-05-2013, 06:29 PM
 
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Honestly, I don't think you're going to find what you're looking for on this forum. I haven't been here long, but it seems a lot of us are against circumcision.

 

I'm having a homebirth too. I'd imagine if I wanted to circumcise I would take my son to the hospital to have it done. But I'm not going to have a natural birth and then take my son to the hospital to have something he was born with removed from his body. May I ask why you want to do it? Is it something you've researched? You might check out the circumcision forum, there's a lot of information on why people are against it.

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#3 of 65 Old 08-06-2013, 07:52 AM
 
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I would look for whatever local pediatrician or as CLplus1 said, just go to a local hospital or ask your midwife if she has any suggestions...

 

I don't actually know a single person who has had a homebirth who circumcised.  Even my husband didn't have his son from his first marriage circumcised and that was a hospital birth with vaccinations and the works.

 

You might come back and let people know what you figured out.  At some point someone else may have the same question.

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#4 of 65 Old 08-06-2013, 08:10 AM
 
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First let me say that I would never ever do this! My sons are intact, my husband is 3/4 & restoring & our lives are endlessly better for it. My son's intact parts appear bigger, longer, & more modest than if they had been operated on.

However, if you do have this plan, then the ONLY one who is remotely qualified in my opinion is a *pediatric urologist*. I would not allow an OB, Ped, Family Practice Doctor OR a lay Circumciser anywhere near my son's family jewels.
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#5 of 65 Old 08-06-2013, 05:18 PM
 
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We are having a birth center birth, but DH insists on circumcision.  I told him he'd have to take him to a pediatric urologist to get it done.  

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#6 of 65 Old 08-06-2013, 05:24 PM
 
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I really urge all mothers to make this decision AFTER you meet your baby & see a normal, intact newborn penis.

It is *legally* only the mother's decision until discharge. Thereafter either parent can consent, however I believe morally it is still a mother's duty to 'preserve & protect'. Just because a man happens to own a car does NOT make him an expert in auto mechanics. And if he's only owned automatics, I wouldn't expect him to know the first thing about stick shifts.
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#7 of 65 Old 08-06-2013, 06:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dinahx View Post

I really urge all mothers to make this decision AFTER you meet your baby & see a normal, intact newborn penis.

It is *legally* only the mother's decision until discharge. Thereafter either parent can consent, however I believe morally it is still a mother's duty to 'preserve & protect'. Just because a man happens to own a car does NOT make him an expert in auto mechanics. And if he's only owned automatics, I wouldn't expect him to know the first thing about stick shifts.

Agreed.

 

I know this isn't my business or anything, but at one point my husband thought circumcision was a good idea. I would strongly urge your husband to do a little research, my husband came around and ended up agreeing with me.

 

I'm worried that if you as a mother feel it isn't a good idea, you will regret this decision.

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#8 of 65 Old 08-06-2013, 07:51 PM
 
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If you're not offended by strong and/or foul language (or nudity), I've found Penn and Teller's circumcision episode of "Bullshit!" to be informative and entertaining. 

 

My husband wanted to circumcise our sons, but he changed his mind after researching.  He now regrets he was circumcised and is an outspoken intactivist.  If I were in that situation again I would refuse to let my husband make that choice until:

 

*He watched at least 5 videos showing circumcisions.

*He read everything I've read (I would reciprocated by reading his chosen material)

*He reads this article at Peaceful Parenting about intact vs. circumcised penises.

*He reads this article at Peaceful Parenting about phimosis.

 

In my own personal life, if my husband had not decided to leave our son intact I would seriously contemplated divorce.  I know that sounds like a big deal, but I wanted you to know how strongly I feel about it.  After my husband changed his mind he feels the same way.  Meaning, if your husband isn't willing to listen to you about this VERY IMPORTANT thing, there are some big problems going on.


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#9 of 65 Old 08-07-2013, 12:07 PM
 
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Can I just say, since you are asking and you want a supportive answer, you should contact a pediatric urologist. Also, if your midwife isn't going to give the baby a Vitamin K shot (which helps the blood clot), you should wait at least a week to have the baby circumcised. After 8 days, the baby's Vit K levels will naturally be similar to an adult's and the risk of bleeding out is lower.

 

That said, my own son (and husband) are intact and I think that's safer and healthier. However, I respect your family's choice.


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#10 of 65 Old 08-07-2013, 02:52 PM
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Originally Posted by meow2013 View Post

We are having a birth center birth, but DH insists on circumcision.  I told him he'd have to take him to a pediatric urologist to get it done.  

 

Please read this:

http://www.noharmm.org/feminist.htm

 

Quoting from that link:

 

"Today, it is often the more passive, compliant mother who will allow her son to be circumcised, acquiescing to the demands of medical professionals, husband, family or other outside sources - probably against her better judgment. The more self-determined, confident mother is more likely to insist that her son remain intact, since she has the strength to withstand the outside pressures of a circumcision oriented society."

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#11 of 65 Old 08-07-2013, 04:45 PM
 
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Okay, I was chatting with The Hubby about this today and this is the idea we had.

 

Your husband is circumcised.  You are coming to him and saying, "Circumcision is bad, we need to leave our son intact."  He hears, "There's something wrong with your penis."  So he feels like he needs to circumcise his son to validate his penis.

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#12 of 65 Old 08-07-2013, 07:12 PM
 
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^Yes, that's how it works!
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#13 of 65 Old 08-07-2013, 07:26 PM
 
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There's actually a whole forum here devoted to Circumcision, and I recommend you all check it out! http://www.mothering.com/community/f/44/understanding-circumcision

 

Please don't do unnecessary surgery on your little baby boy.

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#14 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 05:06 AM
 
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The idea here is that you *shouldn't* do what's right for your family here. Why? Because it shouldn't be up to you--it's not your penis. This is a bodily integrity issue. Also, what possible bearing does your son's penis have to do with the affairs of "your family"? It doesn't. Penises are private parts, and what they look like shouldn't be up to a family vote.

 

Of course there were no issues with your son's circumcision. Most people recover from surgery ok. Although complications from circumcision operations happen (and that sucks), they are somewhat rare. It's not the danger of complications that makes the procedure reprehensible. It is the fact that, having gone through it, the little boy is forever missing his foreskin, which is a functional part of his body that was just removed for absolutely no reason. Circumcision is cosmetic surgery, performed at the whim of parents on newborn babies.

 

Mothering.com isn't really a board filled with people who are for circumcision. Again, there is a whole forum devoted to it, and I'm not sure why this thread hasn't been moved there. Presumably, it will be. There is a thread filled with moms who regret circumcision their sons which is worth checking out.

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#15 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 05:14 AM
 
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Oh I can see this not going well. 

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#16 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 05:25 AM
 
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To previous poster, MichelleZB, I also find your post rather rude in suggesting that my son's circumsision was done on a "whim".
There are a lot of reasons not to circumsise and there are also advantages. Whilst respecting your personal opinion I do believe it would be more appropriate to inform yourself correctly before posting.
He did not have surgery but a basic procedure were a plastic ring was placed around the foreskin.
If circumsisions were done on a whim there wouldn't be such discussions, if there were no medical advantages doctors wouldn't perform it. No medical procedure performed on a child would ever be performed without forethought by their parents, that's why the OP originally posted in the first place.
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#17 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 05:34 AM
 
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Okay, I was chatting with The Hubby about this today and this is the idea we had.

 

Your husband is circumcised.  You are coming to him and saying, "Circumcision is bad, we need to leave our son intact."  He hears, "There's something wrong with your penis."  So he feels like he needs to circumcise his son to validate his penis.

 

And mothers who approved circumcision feel like they have to validate their decisions and prove other people are bad instead of them.

 

Everybody is doing the best they can at the time, and I didn't see any personal attacks until the last post.

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#18 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 06:29 AM
 
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What makes Circumcision 'worse' as an adult? The general anesthesia during the procedure or the Opiate pain relief afterwards (both of which cannot be given to infants)???Or just our *perception* that they have some type of right to bodily integrity that we don't perceive infants as having?

The only thing I agree is 'worse' as an adult is the expense because adults & teens & toddlers DEMAND adequate pain relief/control.

Many men 'have' to be Circumcised in our Circumculture because of premature forcible retraction, lack of care in hospitals & nursing homes & refusal of US Urologists to provide foreskin sparing solutions to routine Urological issues. There is an ethos in the US, medically that all *should* be Circumcised @ birth & if they are not, doctors will seek to correct that early & often. Heck my family member's BF got into a dirt bike accident & was Circ'ed @ 20 something. I am sure they thought they were doing him a HUGE favor. greensad.gif
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#19 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 06:42 AM
 
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Please look into how the rest of the world handles penises. There is no cutting the foreskin of grown men bc of all these problems we have in the US. Our problems are self-made...there's not the general knowledge of how to take care of the foreskin in the US. So peds will pull the foreskin back at a toddler checkup, ripping the skin, causing infection, and there you go. Whoops, he has to be circ'd! There is absolutely no real research proving any true benefits to circ.

 

And yes, your baby might not have problems now, but when he is grown and suffering from painful erections, erectile dysfunction, or his erection points severely to the side, that will most likely be from losing his foreskin as a baby. Anyone who honestly educates themselves about this would not do it. AND, the rate of circ boys is going down quickly in the US, so the poor kids who lost their foreskin will be a minority. We need to stop violating baby boys just because they have a penis. It is HIS penis, for HIM to decide what to do with when he is old enough to understand.


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#20 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 06:57 AM
 
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I would assume that people are doing the same things in both countries, which is using a metal tool to scrape the foreskin off the glans (like scraping a fingernail off the nail bed), then crushing the skin between a metal device in a line so that it can be cut, then crushed at a point that is just a guess as to where it "should" be taken off. Then the skin dies and falls off. 

 

And I assume in both locations it is not the choice of the person who owns the penis.  That is the person who will never get to experience sex as nature intended it, as well as any partner(s) they have. I also assume that the idea of even making a pin prick into a girl's clitoral hood is reprehensible in both countries.  Yet somehow it's OK to completely remove the most sensitive piece of a boy.

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#21 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 07:00 AM
 
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It is actually surgery no matter who it is done to. It is really essential that it be understood as such. I am not trying to be one sided really, but we have to agree that it is surgical.
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#22 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 07:07 AM
 
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I have never talked to a mom in Aus who has circ'd until now... all the other aussie moms I have ever talked to are were horrified that this still goes on in the US. As are most people around the world.


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#23 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 08:21 AM
 
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Since I just went through this... I'm in the south and when I said I didn't want to circumcise they said ok.  And when asked if there was a medical need for it to be done the Dr said absolutely not.  The rates of babies being circumcised is dropping.  And some insurances are dropping the coverage for what is now considered not medically necessary.

 

 

Also... ya'll must be new here to think this conversation would go well.  I mean if you want to circumcise your sons go for it but the MDC community doesn't support it.  So... there is no need to try and convince anyone that it's medically necessary

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#24 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 08:35 AM
 
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What the OP should take from this really is: this debate will never die & we all have to live with our choice.

The details medically of the procedure can accurately be gleaned from medical textbooks (like how to) & surgical videos.

The real question is, when this topic comes up, as it will, forever, which side do you want to be on? I like defiant & proud & representing less invasive care & bodily integrity.

Whenever I have made health decisions I regret, it is because I thought 'no one will know', but in fact, you will know. And will probably participate in these conversations going forward.

For myself, I also don't want to be anywhere near the idea of sexual repression. I want to be extra careful not to get involved with that cause (which has also always existed on Earth). And I don't want to be anywhere near the 'surgery for money, not health' trend. I am not saying Circ is 100% this but it could be seen that way.

Basically looking @ the underlying philosophical issues is crucial.

And do some research on Intact Foreskin's benefits to WOMEN! Most US women have to use Premarin or Estradiol in middle age to deal with friction from the lack of a 'rolling/gliding' mechanism. Many of us find that when we leave our sons intact, our husband's & partners become more open to Foreskin Restoration, which is not exactly the same but can get back a little of the Rolling/Gliding action.
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#25 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 08:41 AM
 
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Am I missing something. No one has a problem with you choosing not to circumsise, I happened to make a different choice based on my life experiences and the information I had.
MDC doesn't support it? Or you don't support it for your own personal and probably valid reasons but don't generalise the MDC community as a whole. We do all have differing opinions.

 

 

Life experience and information?  Would you mind expounding upon that?

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#26 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 08:54 AM
 
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I'm quite sure my son did not require general anaesthesia or any opiate pain relief because he did not have surgery.
He was not distressed and was absolutely OK.
He did not even wake up during the procedure. My goodness a plastic ring was placed around the foreskin and it came off in around a week, not exactly major surgery.
Why are you guys so opposed to differing opinions than your own. I accept there are reasons not to circumsise, why is my decision so "reprehensible"!!

 

I grew up on a farm.  When we wanted to castrate the lambs we would just place a rubber band around the base of their scrotums.  It's not like it was a surgery or anything, it's just that their testicles and scrotums fell off in about a week.  I bet it didn't even hurt.

 

Oh, btw, ^^^SARCASM.

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#27 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 09:06 AM
 
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"Mothering questions routine medical circumcision and advocates for informed consent. This forum hosts discussion of the reasons to avoid circumcision, the history of the procedure, medical issues and studies, complications, the needs and rights of the child, and care of the intact child's penis. We do not host discussion advocating routine infant medical circumcision. It is our wish that this forum be an informative and welcoming space for those who are new to the subject of circumcision."

 

This is taken from the mission statement for the forum designated for circumcision conversations on Mothering.  So, in short, "we do not host discussion advocating routine infant medical circumcision".   I'd take that to mean that the community here (regardless of the personal decision making of any participants, none of who are forced to disclose the circ' status of their children upon joining this community) is one that does not support circumcision, regardless of "how" the foreskin is removed.  


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#28 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 09:20 AM
 
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Pretty sure I didn't advocate it, I just said I happened to make that choice and he had no issues. DH has never had issues either. Get over it and move on. I'm sure the OP will make the right choice for her child whatever that may be

 

 

 

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#29 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 09:23 AM
 
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Oh and my son does still have his testicles and scrotum, just what exactly do you think circumsision is?? Don't over exaggerate something you have probably never seen you sound ridiculous smile.gif

 

I'm sorry you misunderstood me.  You were saying it's just a little plastic band, not a big deal.  I was point out that amputation is amputation, no matter what body part you're amputating, or how you're amputating it.

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#30 of 65 Old 08-08-2013, 09:23 AM
 
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Please read this:

http://www.noharmm.org/feminist.htm

 

Quoting from that link:

 

"Today, it is often the more passive, compliant mother who will allow her son to be circumcised, acquiescing to the demands of medical professionals, husband, family or other outside sources - probably against her better judgment. The more self-determined, confident mother is more likely to insist that her son remain intact, since she has the strength to withstand the outside pressures of a circumcision oriented society."

Yeah, I'm passive and compliant.  That's why I'm having an out of hospital birth.  (Is there no eye roll emoticon).  

 

Honestly, this isn't a hill I'm going to die on.  I didn't realize it had to be in order to post here.

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