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Recommendations on how to prepare sibling?

838 views 5 replies 6 participants last post by  tiffani 
#1 ·
I had my first son at home and am pregnant again and want to have a homebirth with this baby as well. I'd really like to have my son with us, he will be 2 in July and the baby is due 9/24.
I want to prepare him as much as possible but will plan on having somebody there that's just going to take care of him. I keep telling him about the baby but I don't think he understands much.
Does anybody have tips or book and video recommendations on how to best prepare my son?
:
Thanks in advance,

Stefanie, mom to Max 7/14/00, baby due 9/24
 
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#2 ·
hi, congrats!! I had both of my two at home and it was great. DD was 2 yr. 7 months when ds was born. ONe word of advice, there are many threads about this subject....do a search.

as for birth videos, my far and away fave is " A clear road to birth"!! They sell it on www.unassistedchildbirth.com but it is great for sib. prep cuz all the births are very gentle and peaceful. It is a freebirth video though.

just talk, talk, talk is my advice too. it usually works out for the best. have someone available for him but sometimes kids sleep through it or not. they seem to sense what is best for them. DD was right there as ds emerged in the bathtub...surprise! lol.
anyway good luck!! it'll be great.
 
#4 ·
I prepared my 2 1/2 yo. by watching lots of birth videos and explaining what was going on. We watched the birth on Suzanne Arms' video "Giving Birth - Challenges and Choices" and the births that were featured on my birth video "Introducing the Doula". I also taped a lot of natural births from "A Baby Story" on TLC, so we could listen to and re-enact all the loud noises the women were making when they were giving birth. I made a point to show her the graphic births on the doula video - they weren't scary or anything, they were just full-on shots of the baby emerging with all the blood and fluid, etc. - several times leading up to the due date, and explained that the women were working very hard to get the babies out, etc...
so when the birth actually occurred, she came into the room with my MIL and stood at the end of the bed. As the baby emerged, she clapped her hands and jumped up and down, yelling, "Baby come out! The baby [came] out!" She has loved the baby since the birth, and has not shown any aggression or jealousy whatsover. I think that allowing her to participate really helped...
 
#5 ·
We're planning to watch alot of videos as soon as I get my hands on some! In fact...hey Indigo...I was going to ask you if I could borrow the Clear Road to Birth video after you get it back. We also look at dd's birth pics quite a bit as well. DS (4) has told me several times that he wants to catch the baby, I would love for him to if he's up to it. My mom came over to help last time and he was outside when I gave birth. We're planning for the same this time as well, and give him the choice to stay with us or nana...same with DD (2). We talk about the baby alot and I try to take them to my prenatals so they are comfortable with the midwife...although I just switched last week to a new one, so we'll have to start all over. The new midwife said that her one requirement with having kids there is that if they are to be in the house, that they have full access to come and go as they please...no shutting them out of the room, because the noises can be so scary to them if they are listening but can't see you. If it gets to a point where I cannot labor with them there, I would have to ask my mom to take them for a walk...I thought that made alot of sense and had never really given that much thought before.
 
#6 ·
I had a wonderful homebirth with my 23 mo. old daughter in attendance. My dad and stepmom were here to help her out and we expressed to them that we wanted her to always feel free to be with us --not to worry about her disturbing me. The one rule we had for her was she couldn't touch me/climb on me/nurse/etc. while I was having a contraction. She would watch me have a contraction, ask my husband if she could touch me, he'd say no, she had to wait, then when it was over, I'd say, ok, you can touch me now, and she'd extend her index finger and touch my arm-it was cute! We prepared her (almost daily, towards the end) by talking about birth, watching videos (her own birth video included) reading books, etc, but mostly I think what helped her the most was acting it out, and "playing" birth, which she still does on a regular basis (very realistically). #2's birth was only 3 hours, so she never had a chance to get bored or tired or anything, but it was great having her close to me, knowing that she was ok, hearing her playing with grandma and grandpa. When her brother was born (in a kiddie pool) she was right there, saying "the baby's out" over and over, but she didn't want to touch him until the next day. One thing we forgot to mention to her was the afterbirth, as it was something I barely noticed with my first birth, but after #2 was born in the pool, I got out to expel the placenta, and it took a full 45 minutes and intense pushing--harder than required to birth the baby because I was having no contractions at all to help me. We tried nursing both kids, lots of positions, even a shot of oxytocin, but it was the combination of my midwife saying that the next step would be to have an OB "remove" the placenta, and my older one wanting to nurse to sleep ( I certainly didn't have time to make a trip to the hospital to have some OB shove his arm up inside my uterus) that gave me the motivation to really PUSH out the placenta, much to my 2 year old's alarm. She didn't freak out or anything, but she was totally unprepared to see a huge, bloody slab of meat come out of me and it was the only thing that bothered her at all. She has never ever expressed any sort of ill will towards him (ok, one particularly stressful day we ran out of gas and I was nursing him in the car when she wanted to nurse but couldn't, and she suggested we put him outside) and she's very proud of her baby brother. I credit this to the fact that she was included in his birth and tandem nursing. Speaking of which, I've got to go, hope this was helpful, enjoy your birth!
 
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