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Here's the roll call again: (again, let me know who I'm missing, please, or if any info is wrong or should be added, and I'll edit)
andrea88 -- UC 8/03 story
Aurora -- UC 10/03 story
Whit -- UC 11/03 story
2much2luv -- UC 1/04
thechrysalis -- UC 1/04 story
Mothernature -- UC 1/04 story
indigolilybear -- UC 3/04 pics
citizenfong -- UC 3/04 pics
Carrieanders -- UC 4/04
Chaka Falls -- UC 4/04
amyamanda -- UC 5/04 story
Karenpl -- UC 6/04 story
bookwormmama -- UC 6/04
wildthing -- desired UC, non-managed birth, midwife present story
grnbn76 -- June
Hathor -- EDD June 11th
Mamajaza -- mid summer
luna13mama -- EDD July 1st
Chandar -- July
Klothos -- EDD July 10th
ChildoftheMoon -- mid July
madrone -- August
Oshunmama -- EDD August 26th
JesseMomme -- August/September (first UC 11/02, story here)
violet -- August/September
StacyL -- mid September
4xmamamia -- September
mellie-bellie -- EDD September 16th
lovemygirl -- mid to late September
blueviolet -- late September (first UC 7/01, story here)
DancerMom -- late November
Ame -- first half of December
laurata -- December (first UC 3/02, story here)
Lula's Mom -- December
Dandylion -- January/February 2005
mehndi mama -- late February 2005
I just need some encouragement! I am 41 weeks tomorrow, and this is the longest i have ever been pregnant. This has also been my hardest pregnancy, go figure.
Babe is still movin' and groovin' , but has definately less and more active periods right now. I'm just starting to be (yeah right, ~starting~) an emotional basket case.
Please just remind me that i won't be pregnant forever!!
mother of invention, currently raising hell with four great kids, dd, 15, ds, 15, ds, 11 and ds, 8. also gestating a new wee one! due 9/29
Thank you Linda for starting up the thread up again. I have been in major lurk mode.
I am feeling good, 6.5 weeks till d-day so getting close. Still thinking this baby will come a bit early, (am I jinxing myself ?) Baby is getting lots of hiccups and feels lower in my pelvis already. Just started having a hard time staying comfortable at night. Getting VERY excited about the birth and meeting my new babe. I can't wait to nurse a wee one again. I am still nursing (milkless) my 2.5 year old.
Hope all is well with all you wonderful ladies!
mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13
love and light
And this next month and half will be by so fast for you too!
I too am excited about nursing again. My 3 yo ds weaned during this pregnancy, but i fully anticipate him asking to nurse again. He still loves the babas!
mother of invention, currently raising hell with four great kids, dd, 15, ds, 15, ds, 11 and ds, 8. also gestating a new wee one! due 9/29
Originally Posted by blueviolet
Aurora, is your birth story up somewhere?
For you veteran UC'ers, were there any books you read that you feel are a must-read for an expectant UC'er? Also, what was in your birth kit? Mentally, I feel ready for this, but I do want to make sure I feel prepared for the big day, just so it doesn't sneak up on me.
I've been re-reading Marilyn Moran's book Pleasurable Husband/Wife Childbirth, mainly for the birth/sex viewpoint. She doesn't really go into preparation for UC, more the justifications for UC (some of which are brilliant) and then a large part of the book is devoted to her ideas about why UC fits with Christianity, which are interesting, but if you're not Christian are going to be mostly irrelevant.
But frankly, nothing that is a must-read, no. (I have yet to read Laura Shanley's book, though, I've got to get on that!) Mostly the things that I've found inspiring I've gotten off the internet.
She was walking around pretending to be pregnant. I ask her if she was having a homebirth (she was at her brothers homebirth). She said yes. I asked if she was having a midwife. She said no. I said Are you sick do you need to see a doctor? She said no, me and my husband are doing it alone!
Made me laugh. I did talk to dh once about not having any attendants. She must have thought it sounded like a good idea!
thought you'd like to know!
I should have listened to the advice I got here, we shouldn't have called the midwives, I should have sent them home countless times.
After 2 attempts by them to STOP or SLOW labor so I could "get some sleep", my nice, slow, steady, manageable-feeling labor went "too slow" (but I couldn't get sleep, unlike they promised I would as they handed over the herbs, then denied had been said when I was freaking out).
They judged me and my labor, judged how vocal I was (I was talking too much, they told my aunt... talking myself "out of labor"...can one DO that?) or rather how UNvocal I was (I breathed silently rather than mooing like they wanted me to do), they did internals on me, they checked the heartrate and my BP every 1/2 hour, they bothered me when I needed quiet, they went to sleep when I needed them. They separated DH and me (we were SO tired we couldn't even argue when they would send him to bed, and he would cry himself to sleep b/c he wanted to be with me so much), they wouldn't let my aunt in the room (and didn't tell me she wanted to be in the room with me, nor did they tell her that I wanted her there). Awful awful awful.
They "massaged" my membranes, she borderline stretched my cervix, she always had her hands up there. Yes, I consented, but I was SO tired and she didn't want to hear NO. I've found that even midwives have ways of creating consent, even when everyone in the room knows that the thing that is being done was not something that the mother agreed on in ANY way, shape, or form beforehand.
Then at long last they talked me into putting castor oil on my cervix AND breaking my waters (which had been wonderfully unbroken into 96 hours of labor), of course they found meconium. I got up to shower and continue contracting since I thought they knew meconium was not a sign of a problem, but something that can sometimes go along with an already-existing problem, and it turns out they took that time to bully DH and aunt into bullying me into the hospital because of it.
Where I finally went (they were all going to abandon me if I didn't, what could I do? I was SO tired.), where they called the OB side of the hospital's birth center rather than the midwife side (as they KNEW I wanted them to do), they gave the hospital my name so I couldn't even sneak over to the midwives, and then they went completely turncoat on me and suggested I follow the OB's insistence on a c-section. This was because of "decelerations". Decelerations that no one was in the room for, thanks to continuous monitoring (we fought it).
So no one was in the room watching me bend over with every contraction, taking the monitor off my belly slightly, causing the 140 hb to be 120, then as soon as I'd stand back up or push the monitor closer (while leaning over) it would go right back up. Because no one was in the room, no one believed me, and no one cared what the silly little mother had to say.
They then agreed with the OB when he said the baby was well over 9 lbs, when no one had said ANYTHING like that EVER. I *wanted* a big baby, but anyone who felt my belly could tell it wasn't that big.
So instead of a wonderful home birth with should-have-been-trusted midwives, I got a c-section.
The baby coughed as he was taken out (there went the aspiration concerns), cried heartily and lustily (he didn't do the wavery cry, he was belting it out like Whitney Houston), and he was 7 lbs 12 oz. Hardly a big baby.
You can add me to the list of unassisted birthers for next time, should I ever get over my desperate fears (caused by the midwives and their handling of my transition) and get pregnant again.
Thank you for your help as I went into labor, and know that I wish I'd have listened to you brilliant women.
I am very sorry you had such bad care, truly sorry.
Today Robert fielded a phone call from the "elder" midwife, and she will be coming to our place (alone) on Monday, with the notes. He said she sounded very surprised at all the interventions and so on that happened. That's good, I guess...
OK, back to happy UC stories!
Congratulations on your sweet baby boy! I just love his name Welcome to the world Eamon!
Similar to Blueviolet - the only things I really had prepared last time I gave birth (my first uc) was a ton of recieving blankets, a newborn hat, and a baby shoelace and hairdresser's scissors that sat overnight in a pan that had been boiled then turned off with a lid over it. I did make my bed up with layers of old sheets between layers of something waterproof and that was a really handy trick.
FWIW, there's several twin uc birth stories up and around the internet. There's one right up in the birth stories forum above homebirth even. I personally would UC if I knew I was having twins (not sure as how I would dx that as I have had no need of outside prenatal care), if I were surprised with a twin I would carry on as normal I'm certain
I don't know about must-read books - I have read Laura Shanley's book and it was really great. I think Laurie Morgan still has her ebook up at www.lauriemorgan.com which is also a wonderful read.
Strong healing vibes to you, momma...
P.S. Can't wait to see pictures.
Congrats to Karen as well! I can't wait to read your story. I wanted to birth outside as well but ds was born in Oct, and we have neighbors all around.
As far as birthing supplies, we weren't prepared. Ds came early but we did just fine with things around the house. I had all of the cloth diapers washed and ready(I used the preemie cpf's on ds and the infant cpf's for me because I hadn't ordered my cloth pads yet. :LOL ) I had baby clothes and blankets washed and ready as well.
I had a little pool but didn't get it set up in time. I gave birth to ds in the living room kneeling on a bathmat and towels. I wrapped him in a flannel shirt of dh's, put a little hat on him and eventually tied the cord with some wool yarn of mine that was in my knitting basket and used my sewing scissors to cut the cord. I later put him in a soft cpf and dressed him in a little sleeper.
It was so sweet and just normal. He was here and a part of our family without all of the drama of the hospital and the staff. Having a baby wasn't a crisis, just a beautiful life event.
I have read a lot of the twin UC stories too. I would have twins unnassisted as well. Like Jessemomme I don't know how I would know for sure if it were twins since I wish to not have outside prenatal care too but I would welcome whoever was born.
As far as UC books..............I didn't read any. I just read tons of UC birth stories. In fact, Jessemomme's was the first one I remember reading. I believed I followed a link on the diapering board and read it.
I was giving birth. At six months. Alone. Although it seems like there was someone else in the house, my mom maybe? It didn’t feel or look like our house, but it wasn’t anyone else’s either. I was situated in an area that was where our kitchen is, but it wasn’t the kitchen. I was in labor for seven hours total. First I thought it was eight, then I determined it was seven. I don’t remember much about the process, except that it wasn’t hard, or even work. It was just birth. It wasn’t this intensely enjoyable, pleasurable thing either, just birth. Like taking a walk in the park. Or washing the dishes. Very zen I guess. I do remember having the baby face down on my legs, draining. She never cried. I picked her up and she found the nipple right away. I still didn’t know it was a she, but at some point there was someone there (Scott?) and I thought it was time to look, and saw the two pillowy cushions, with the lips rising up like wavy coral or red petals. She was a girl, with dark hair. We were all very pleased. I couldn’t figure out why she was so early, yet mature, but it didn’t matter. It was all right and the way it was supposed to be. I remember thinking I had to keep her warm, so I just covered her up and she was fine. So easy to know the right thing and then do it. No worries, no situation analysis, no fear.
Then the dream got kind of whacky, we were driving through snow to the house I grew up in, which was our house now. We had to drive through snowy streets to get there, and then the car stalled and we had to get out and walk. The baby was older now, and she ran ahead of us in her slippers, and I thought her feet were getting wet but at the same time I realized that it was okay, that it wouldn’t hurt her. And as we walked up the steep hill (which wasn’t hard work either) the snow melted.
Just yesterday the "elder" midwife FINALLY called, and while I wouldn't speak to her we did set up a meeting for tomorrow. She's coming to our place, bringing our records/notes, and will go over the whole thing with us. I guess she was rather surprised at the way things went, and I think she feels very bad about it as well.
I guess she said something about how it would be nice if we could talk to the midwife and apprentice who were there, as a teaching experience for them...um, no. That's not what I hired them for. Had I known it was supposed to be a teaching experience for the midwife there I surely would have negotiated a lower cost, and would have had some thoughts of not fully trusting her.
Anyway, I get to have a conversation with the midwife in charge, which is way better than a letter. (btw, when I fired my first midwife because I didn't trust her, I did write her all the reasons why, and felt good about it)
Your story reminds me so much of my first. The midwife was constantly trying to get me to do something I didn't want to do, and I was so exhausted that she often won through persistence. According to her, everything I instinctively felt like doing was wrong. I was confused because here was this woman who had been to 1500 births, and I had been to none, shouldn't she know what she was doing? But on the other hand my needs were so strong, and it was hard to believe my body would betray me. I alternated between thinking I couldn't do it without her and feeling great resentment and anger toward her. Plus, she had her hands up me constantly, checking dilation, doing perineal massage, etc. It was a mess. Looking back, it was clear that her involvement was nothing but a hindrance to the labor progressing normally. But when I talked to her, it was impossible to get her to see that. She felt bad that I'd had such a hard time, but she really didn't believe that her own behavior was responsible for any of that.
When I phoned them and told them I was in labor- they didn't believe me! First she said I hadn't had any ctx while on the phone, then when I said I'd had five and didn't know she wanted me to tell her, she said they weren't so bad I couldn't talk through them. I should have said, but didn't, hey, I read Spiritual Midwifery at 14, I don't want them to hurt!
She told me to try to sleep and see if they would go away. I was excited and eating lentil soup and my husband went back to his apartment to get his things (my daughter was two+ weeks "early," another reason the mw did not believe me). By the time he returned I had thrown up, was crawling on the floor hissing at him not to touch me, and in great pain. Called birth center again. They basically said if I came in they were all but sure they'd check me and send me home again, but if we insisted....
Crazy ride up FDR drive at 5 am. Hobbled into the birth center out of my mind with pain- no bag packed, nothing ready. Some bloody show and as I was examined I opened my eyes just in time to see the midwife- whom I had never met- mouth, "nine!" to the assistant. They had two other ladies already there, so I was left alone in the waiting room that had a bed for just such "emergencies." No tub, shower, amenities, etc. I lay on my side and held my husband's hand. When my water broke it was an explosion that shocked me and I had an immediate urge to push. Get her, get her, I said. The assistant came, I said I have to push. She said, "well you're just going to have to wait." At this point I made an unconscious decision to ignore these people. The midwife came in and said there was a slight anterior lip and not to push. I couldn't help it, so she held it back. Then began the struggle throughout my pushing phase to get me off my back. I was most comfortable on my back pulling my legs up and had no intention of moving just because some lady I'd never met before told me to. Only a few minutes of pushing and she was born. She was posterior and I know now for some women, babies and births on the back pulling the legs up is perfectly ok.
The midwives meant well but the whole situation was so bizarre. My current midwife, on hearing this story, said, well the positive thing is you know you can have a baby with no help whatsoever!
I had considered a homebirth that time but didn't look too closely into it, and was pretty happy with the Maternity Center, until the labor and birth! Only now when I have real care from a real midwife can I see the abyss between the two.