when is HB the best option? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 06-10-2002, 02:07 PM - Thread Starter
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I am trying to start gathering some information about homebirth. In my community there is not a free-standing birthing center, but all the hospitals really do have good in hospital birth centers. At least, as good as can be wrt being hospitals, etc. My last birth was induced as a possible pre-eclampsia with my very good midwife (CNM) in hospital. She used Cytotec (I know, I know) and we had very good results. Once my contractions were 3 mins apart, she took me off the fetal monitor and didn't use it any more. At all. I was able to walk, sit in the warm tub, whatever I wanted to be able to get comfortable. She would have delivered in any position I wanted, but I'm more comfortable with that reclining squat thing (see your local Bradley reference).

Dh and I spent a lot of time doing our Bradley class last time, practicing and preparing. This time we are at a really stressful time, where he's going to be trying to finish a PhD/be looking for a job/starting a new job, all right around when this one is born. I have always felt that preparing for a homebirth would be a lot of time and effort on the part of wife _and_ husband for mental support preparation. Is there an opinion about this? Would it be easier to just do this birth in hospital with midwives that I am VERY comfortable with? There are two CNMs in this area who do homebirths legally. I don't think I could do the "illegal" option.
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#2 of 6 Old 06-10-2002, 02:56 PM
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Well, since you asked, I always think home birth is best for an uncomplicated pregnancy. It is a control thing partly, and a comfort thimg. You took Bradley last time... that is all DH and I did to prep for our homebirth. And to be perfectly honest, we didn't do our home exercises nearly as much as we were supposed to.

The only real difference in prep time was gathering the birth kit stuff our MW requested... which I now know you can buy in one pack from a number of sources online. But it wasn't a big deal as almost everything on her list was from the local grocery or drug store.

I would suggest that either way you look into taking a refresher of your Bradley class. I recently talked to a mom who took the class for her first 4 years ago and didn't re-take at all for her second 18 months ago. She said it didn't go nearly as well. Contact your old instructor if you are in the same area or any teacher and explain. I think many of them will give you a cut rate for a refresher and go over a class schedule with you since you probably don't need to attend them all again. But a brush up on the pregnancy exercises and pain relief isn't a bad idea.

Best of luck with your pregnancy and birth, and with this decision.
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#3 of 6 Old 06-10-2002, 04:31 PM
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I haven't had mine yet (any day now, I'm overdue), but I think a homebirth would be more comfortable. My best friend just had hers at home (she had her previous baby in a hospital-good experience) and she told me it was much less stressful than the hospital. In terms of preparation, I haven't had to do anything.....all you'll need is the birth kit, which you can put together yourself or conviently buy online, not a hassle at all. As long as you're low risk, I don' t see why a homebirth would be more stressful, BUT, go with your comfort level....if you're not sure you'd be comfortable w/homebirth, don't do it. What my dh and I really like is the fact that there won't be all that "rush", as in, rushing to get to the hospital, calling everyone, having people visit at the hopital, dh having to drive to "visit" us at the hospital, taking ds to and from, etc. With the homebirth, the doc/midwife comes to US! DS doesn't have to go anywhere, we don't have to worry about waking him in the middle of the night. And it's much easier to avoid unwanted visitors. We don't want anyone there until the next day. So, think about what would stress you the least and go from there! Good luck!
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#4 of 6 Old 06-10-2002, 08:26 PM
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I have always felt that preparing for a homebirth would be a lot of time and effort on the part of wife _and_ husband for mental support preparation. Is there an opinion about this?
Yes, I have always felt that preparing for a *hospital* birth would be a lot of time and effort etc. LOL! I think it is all in your perspective towards birth and your role in it and what you feel others' roles should be in it. I am the sort of person that feels that it is very inconvenient and exhausting to have to deal with figuring out what the best time to go to the hospital is, the discomfort of the drive there, the worry about how the hospital environment will affect me emotionally (and therefore physically), and having to advocate for myself, even if it's just for minor things. I become ultra sensitive in labor and anything extraneous to the process is felt as a burden and a hindrance to the labor.

On the other hand, being at home was just an extension of my normal life -- during labor I wandered about my familiar house, peed in my familiar bathroom, and ate familiar food. I didn't have to expend one ounce of energy being annoyed at virtual strangers coming in and out of my awareness. Home, for me, is as private and comfortable as I could hope to be. So as far as mental preparation, none was needed.

Edited to ask: So can you elaborate on what sort of mental preparation you feel would be necessary for a homebirth?
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#5 of 6 Old 06-11-2002, 03:28 AM
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just a thought.....actually i think if you are leaning towards a homebirth, look deep down and see what you really truly want. Yes, there are a lot of issues to work through, but there are also at a hospital IMO< as sweetwater mentioned. I think if you are feeling "called" to do a HB than commit....the confidence will follow. It is usually harder to make the decision than to do the "work" whatever that turns out to be.

I also really believe that , home is a much more comfortable place to be for labor...

DH and I were in a similar situation when ds was born as a freebirth at home....lots of change and uncertainty. I however, believe that birth has so much potential for growth within a couple and that commiting to something like this, while it may seem like more work initially, pays off just the same and is something you will not regret. I actually think that the two of you making the commitment to do this is all the "work" you need to do. The rest will follow.

do some soul searching and some talking w/hubbie and little unborn person. you will find the answers you are looking for, I'm certain. good luck
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#6 of 6 Old 06-11-2002, 03:20 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for the replies. Definitely a lot to think about. Part of the "nonstress" about a hospital birth is that we know the routine and the MW group from before. To complicate everything, I don't even know if we'll live in the same city at the time of this birth, and so if not, I'll be actively and quickly looking for options in whatever the other part of the US we might be in! We both think that a freestanding birth center is "ideal", but it's just not an option in this town. I'll be checking in.

As far as mental "preparation", I felt with my last birth that a lot of affirmation about what my body can do, positive thinking, etc. were part of my "prep"--I guess I'd do the same wherever the baby was born. As far as getting family to not reel in shock from the whole thing, well, that may be high stress. Anyhow, they all live out of this city, so I might not even have to tell anyone.

There's a HB circle that meets monthly in our town. My Bradley teacher is part of that, so I just got some info about it from her. Dd #2 is being really, really hard to leave with anyone, and I don't know about going to Bradley courses again. She wants people to come to at least 4,b/c she has to reserve a spot. Rightfully so, but I just don't know about her being left.

Anyhow, that's more info than necessary, right?! As a blessing, dd#2 (just 2yo) is learning to sleep through the night though! Still nursing.
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