Hi ladies. I'm 31 weeks with #3. My first was a hospital birth (14yrs ago). My second was an amazing unassisted home birth (12 years ago). I wanted to do another UC this time around but my partner is not comfortable with it so we opted to go with a midwife. There aren't very many homebirth midwives in my area but I interviewed all of them and decided on the team I felt most comfortable with. I really liked both of the midwives the day that I met them. Since then, I've only seen each of them once. Their practice is almost an hour from my home, meanwhile their assistant lives 10 minutes from my house so she has done many of the home visits. I have developed a very strong relationship with the assistant, and being that she is a mother of six (all homebirths), and has been in the birthing world for 40 years, I feel totally comfortable with her. If I had it my way I would have her attend the birth and no one else. In the next few weeks I suppose I will be seeing the other midwifes more as my appointment frequency will be increasing, so perhaps I will start feeling a bit better about this. In the meantime I can't shake this uncomfortable feeling. I basically feel like the actual midwives are strangers and why would anyone want a stranger at their birth? Can anyone relate? Any suggestions?
On a somewhat separate but related note, I'm wondering how to handle the other people in my house. Last time around, it was just my husband and I, my son wasn't even 2. I labored alone for most of the day, playing with my son and preparing for the birth, until my husband came home from work. When I was getting close to transition, we called a neighbor and she watched my son for the next few hours so that I could birth, rest, relax, nurse and clean up before he was brought home for bed. It was perfect!
Now, I have two teenagers and a semi-disabled sister-in-law in the house. We are relatively new to the area and don't know very many people so I'm trying to sort out what labor is going to look like this time. I want to obviously be comfortable and not feel restricted, with being naked, making noises, walking around the house or property, etc. but don't see how that's possible with my children and his sister here. Not knowing when I'm going to go into labor (weekend, school day, middle of the night, etc.) I'm wondering the best way to make plans for them so that I can do what my body needs to do in peace. I'd really like to labor with him alone as long as possible (once in active labor), call my midwifes assistant when I feel the time is right, then have her call the main midwife when she feels the time is right. Or at least at the moment that's what I think that I want. A part of me wants to normalize the birth process for the sake of my children, how many kids get to see their siblings born? Unfortunately not too many in this culture... being that they are older they could be very useful and mature enough to handle the situation. I guess my biggest concern, other than my privacy and however I might be feeling in the moment, if God forbid something goes wrong they would both freak especially my younger one. Any ideas on the best way to handle? I haven't even come to terms with anything myself and I've been thinking about it the entire pregnancy!
Sorry for the long post, thanks in advance ladies!
On a somewhat separate but related note, I'm wondering how to handle the other people in my house. Last time around, it was just my husband and I, my son wasn't even 2. I labored alone for most of the day, playing with my son and preparing for the birth, until my husband came home from work. When I was getting close to transition, we called a neighbor and she watched my son for the next few hours so that I could birth, rest, relax, nurse and clean up before he was brought home for bed. It was perfect!
Now, I have two teenagers and a semi-disabled sister-in-law in the house. We are relatively new to the area and don't know very many people so I'm trying to sort out what labor is going to look like this time. I want to obviously be comfortable and not feel restricted, with being naked, making noises, walking around the house or property, etc. but don't see how that's possible with my children and his sister here. Not knowing when I'm going to go into labor (weekend, school day, middle of the night, etc.) I'm wondering the best way to make plans for them so that I can do what my body needs to do in peace. I'd really like to labor with him alone as long as possible (once in active labor), call my midwifes assistant when I feel the time is right, then have her call the main midwife when she feels the time is right. Or at least at the moment that's what I think that I want. A part of me wants to normalize the birth process for the sake of my children, how many kids get to see their siblings born? Unfortunately not too many in this culture... being that they are older they could be very useful and mature enough to handle the situation. I guess my biggest concern, other than my privacy and however I might be feeling in the moment, if God forbid something goes wrong they would both freak especially my younger one. Any ideas on the best way to handle? I haven't even come to terms with anything myself and I've been thinking about it the entire pregnancy!
Sorry for the long post, thanks in advance ladies!