Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers, they have been felt.
Our sweet baby will be spending its time not on this earth though. We are trying to initiate labor and if all goes well we will still deliver at home with our midwife. Right now I cannot explain how I feel. Right now.......I don't know. I had a feeling all along of being unsettled and a worry that nagged about this baby, so I feel like a deeper part of me has been dealing with this all along. I am happy for the chance to birth my baby peacefully at home, I will get to hold and meet my baby, I will just have to surrender this sweet one far sooner than I could have ever imagined. Thank you very much for all of the support and love, I don't know that I will be posting much for a while, at least not in this section. Please start a new thread, there are still some wonderful babies waiting in the wings that have mommies that need the support of this wonderful thread. You understand what I am getting at.
mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13
love and light