This sounds very familiar. I did the same thing--I didn't want the doppler but I so wanted to hear the baby's heart and I'm so shy sometimes that I let our GP listen. I went home upset and when DH found out I'd wimped he was very understanding but he got very upset and he called the Dr's office. He calmly asked to speak to my Dr and told him that in the future he would appreciate it if the Dr would take the time to discuss any procedure with me before he procedes. I was mortified but later relieved. For the next appointment DH went with me and on our chart was a stickie note that said "NO Doppler". The Dr asked and we discussed it briefly and then he called to the nurse to dig out the fetoscope. He admitted he hadn't done it that way in awhile but he did not question my decision in any way. We had a great discussion with the Dr that day and I feel very comfortable with him now.
Another way around the nurse is to just calmly tell her that you wish to discuss the procedure with the doctor and so "we won't be doing the procedure until the discussion has taken place." That way you don't have to argue or defend anything with her, you just put her off--and the Dr tells her what she will or won't be doing. It's sad that we sometimes have to put people in their place like that but they can be so pushy.
I'm so glad the OB is so wonderful. Reading these boards I'm afraid it's rare but then you hear about a gem who is everything we are looking for and that is so great.
Good job standing up for yourself on the GTT. I'm still working on my GP on that one. He'll let me decline but he wants to write AMA all over my chart to cover his butt.