A nice OB visit... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 12-07-2001, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We went to meet the new OB at our clinic here. He was so nice! I was scared for a bit because the nurse was really really snooty and rude. She was kinda snippy from the moment I got there. Then she got the doppler out to listen to the heart. I had told dh before hand to help me be brave and stand up for myself because I am very timid and get so shy. Well, he said "DO you want them to do that?" And I did want to hear the heart so I was starting to say, yeah, its fine...but this nurse says, in a horrible rude tone..."Well, we're gonna." Like I had no choice in it. I am ashamed that I didn't say anything and let her do it. I wanted to hear the heart and I was kinda confused by what she said...it took a minute to register. If I could go back I would definately have said something. So then she gives us a hard time about the glucose test, which we discussed with our midwife and decided to declne. We told her that and she just looked at us for a minute like we were stupid and then left. Well, I was scared by now. I am not good at standing up to athourity and if she was any indication of the attitude at the office I thought the doctor would be awful. Turns out he was great. Didn't give us a hard time about anything at all. Didn't act as if homebirth was strange at all. Just said if there was anything he could do to help. I know part of it must have been that he is new to this area, this small little town. He comes from Denver where I am sure homebirth is a little more commonplace. Also he is originally from Isreal, so that might have something to do with it. .So I was glad I didn't have a bad experience and now we know someone at the hospital in case anything goes bad.
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#2 of 3 Old 12-08-2001, 02:37 AM
 
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oooooo! nurses can be so awful! I think for some of them it must be terribly frustrating to do all the work they do and not have any say in what goes on.

I hope you don't have to have a lot of dealings with her - congrats on a supportive OB! maybe he'll just be there for your midwife and other women if he's truly needed.
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#3 of 3 Old 12-10-2001, 04:49 PM
 
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This sounds very familiar. I did the same thing--I didn't want the doppler but I so wanted to hear the baby's heart and I'm so shy sometimes that I let our GP listen. I went home upset and when DH found out I'd wimped he was very understanding but he got very upset and he called the Dr's office. He calmly asked to speak to my Dr and told him that in the future he would appreciate it if the Dr would take the time to discuss any procedure with me before he procedes. I was mortified but later relieved. For the next appointment DH went with me and on our chart was a stickie note that said "NO Doppler". The Dr asked and we discussed it briefly and then he called to the nurse to dig out the fetoscope. He admitted he hadn't done it that way in awhile but he did not question my decision in any way. We had a great discussion with the Dr that day and I feel very comfortable with him now.

Another way around the nurse is to just calmly tell her that you wish to discuss the procedure with the doctor and so "we won't be doing the procedure until the discussion has taken place." That way you don't have to argue or defend anything with her, you just put her off--and the Dr tells her what she will or won't be doing. It's sad that we sometimes have to put people in their place like that but they can be so pushy.

I'm so glad the OB is so wonderful. Reading these boards I'm afraid it's rare but then you hear about a gem who is everything we are looking for and that is so great.
Good job standing up for yourself on the GTT. I'm still working on my GP on that one. He'll let me decline but he wants to write AMA all over my chart to cover his butt.

C.
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