UC Thread #10 - October 2004! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-17-2004, 05:17 PM
 
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spinklepocket~ I've seen the book birthing from within, but did not look at it too closely. I too would love to know what other people who've had an UC think about it as well. It sound like you are pretty prepared, by getting those books and movies etc. You will be fine. When are you due, BTW?
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Old 10-17-2004, 05:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really liked Birthing from Within. My favorite labor-prep book. It's got great advice I think, especially the parts about 'worrying the right amount' (confronting your fears, exploring your feelings, to clear them from the background), introspection, and working to deal with your subconscious ideas about pregnancy and labor. I liked that there were a variety of coping techniques and none of them were all that methodical. And there was a section about protecting the birth environment that I liked as well. It wasn't written for UCers, and certainly not for solo birthers, but it wasn't written in an exclusive way so much of the book was still applicable. Kinda sucks that I only read it now, and not before my first was born, it is one of those things that might have made a difference.

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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Old 10-17-2004, 06:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nikirj
Kinda sucks that I only read it now, and not before my first was born, it is one of those things that might have made a difference.

This is exactly how I feel about Henci Goer's Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. I wish I'd not only read it before I had DS, but actually had a copy with me in the hospital to refer the medical "professionals" to..... DS' birth would have been completely different had I had some back-up in refusing "standard" procedures . I'm actually going to purchase a copy for this birth......

I read Birthing from Within before DS' birth and, TBH wasn't too impressed. I'll re-read it (obviously with a different mindset, due to DS' birth) and see if things click better for me. I will not be surprised if they do, especially with my new view of birth.

Shoot! I've got more to say, but DS is needing my attention (thought I'd have a bit more time while DH gave him a bath). I'll have to come back when I can focus - multi-tasking's not working for me this AM, lol.

I'm very much enjoying reading this thread, BTW.

Kinsey
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Old 10-17-2004, 06:15 PM
 
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B]indigolilybear~i'm down in silver city, are you still up in the 4 corners area? [/B]
Sprinklepocket~~we live in SW CO during the summers the last two. We will move out to that neck of the woods this upcoming summer. We are in Socal for the time being. (pretty different places! :LOL ) I'd *love* to have freebirthers in my class....actually I *just* "came out" to my class this last one. I wasn't sure if I should...but they kept asking questions about it (from the "clear road to birth" video--two squatting births--that we watched two classes ago....) and I felt like I would be lying not to....

BV--I'm interested in hearing the details of what happened w/your talk??? Is there more to tell?
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Old 10-17-2004, 06:48 PM
 
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I liked parts of it quite a lot, was uninteresed in the whole art therapy section, didn't find the "ice" pain-coping technique realistic, and really disliked a few things as well. One thing I totally disagree with is her belief that pain is an inherent, normal part of normal, healthy birth. And I was really angered by the quote of a midwife saying that when she walked into a house and the woman has candles lit and is wearing a long white nightgown, that she knows she's in for a long wait, and it's better to just throw the woman an old t-shirt and say, "get to work." Or something to that effect. To me, that is exactly what is wrong with the way a lot of midwives practice -- thinking they know better than their clients what they need. I'll have to see if I can find my copy of the book so I can be more specific. Oh, and that chapter title "Don't Give Birth Without a Doula!" Need I say more?
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Old 10-17-2004, 07:28 PM
 
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Indigolilybear, I am still processing the experience. I was disappointed in a few things -- I was so tired from being up all night that I really didn't have the strength to put on my "professional" persona. I babbled a bit, and got so emotional several times that it was a struggle to get words out. I had to start late because the keynote address that happened before my session went way over, so there was quite a bit of my presentation that I didn't even get to, and that has been kind of hard for me to let go of because it was all important to me to share. And there were a few negative people there that I felt very vulnerable to (remember I *just* gave birth three weeks ago and am still feeling very open) and didn't feel like I had the opportunity to adequately respond to them.

However, overall the response was extremely positive. I lost count of how many people came up to me afterwards and expressed their genuine appreciation. Several wanted to talk further about some of the issues I'd brought up, and I met some really incredible people. So I feel good about that part of it and definitely feel like it was worth the effort.
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Old 10-18-2004, 09:03 AM
 
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I just read Birthing from Within, and didn't like it, *except* the art section. She didn't even seem that keen on homebirth, and the idea of not relaxing in labour is opposite to my Hypnobabies course. Right now I'm reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and like it much better.
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Old 10-18-2004, 01:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I read that bit about coming in and seeing candles and saying 'get to work' and was like...WTF?!

There were things I took from that book that were helpful to me and a lot of things that were just...WTF...or I could see the logic but it wouldn't work for me. But overall, I took more positive from that book than I've taken from any other labor-prep book, and that is worth something, I think. There is astoundingly little written (as far as I have been able to tell) about labor prep specifically with the UC concept in mind - it is all 'go with the flow' and 'relax' and 'let your body do its thing', which is great advice, but frustratingly abstract for a first-timer.

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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Old 10-18-2004, 01:35 PM
 
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Jees, (about the midwife walking in to the labouring womans room with candles...) do women have to put on a *show* once the MW gets to their house???
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Old 10-18-2004, 02:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyD
Didn't someone here post a birth where their hubby freaked out and at some point called 911? I don't remember the details, but I'm sure you are planning a nice calm and easy birth, and someone running around like a chicken w/their head cut off will not help the mood.
That was me. The link to my birth story is on the first page, and I've posted about the experience on MDC a few times, so you're welcome to read my previous posts. (You know how to do that, right?)

Laura, mama to J (15), N (12), E (9) , M (6), and our little caboose, R (3).
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Old 10-19-2004, 06:23 PM
 
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Hi Mamas, I don't know if anyone will remember me. I was here (though not for very long) back in March with my second pregnancy. I was very excited to be planning a up/uc and just loved the support of the women here. When that pregnancy ended in my second m/c, I had a really tough time -- I lost faith in my body and intuition and frankly, didn't know if I'd ever find the confidence to aspire for uc again.

I got pregnant 10 weeks after my m/c (not planned) and spent the better part of my 1st trimester terrified and paranoid. I've been seeing my m/w halfheartedly this time around (I've only been to half of my appts), and though I really like her and respect all the mw's in her practice, I feel my appts have been uneccessary. I finally started reading my uc material just about 10 days ago...and I feel like I've come home again.

I'm going on 23 weeks, am feeling the baby move daily, and I'm having lovely communication with him (I believe) through meditation, journaling, and my dreams. I know he's suggesting to me that this is way he'd like to be born -- and every fiber of my being is singing to me that I should do this.

Happily, dh is on board with this as long as we do the proper preparation. I just couldn't be more thrilled to be joining you inspiring ladies once again. I do have to break it to my m/w (I feel I must be honest with her, she was so wonderful to us during my 2 m/c's) but I will stand firm and not change my mind.

I've been lurking ever since and have been constantly inspired by all of you. Sprinkle Pocket and Niki -- Hi! I remember you both from ttc. Sprinkle Pocket -- I'm also thrilled to see another 1st time mama going the uc route!
Mendhi Mama -- hello from Feb due dates (I do hope someone has insight into your bh situation).

Mamajaza -- I've enjoyed the pics of your precious little girls. What a beautiful family you have.

Blueviolet and Indigiolilybear -- your wisdom is always appreciated.

Brandi -- I've followed you and I concur with the ladies here -- you are such a strong and inspiring mama. When I read you were donating your milk, it made me cry. I'm so happy to see you back here.

Anyway, I just wanted to reintroduce myself. I'll be hanging out here a lot more often -- and I'm so happy to be participating again instead of just lurking and wishful thinking.

I've especially enjoyed the conversation about childbirth classes -- as that's something I"m pondering myself. I do have contact with 2 instructors that have a wonderful philosophy and will do private classes in our home. I'm thinking it might be good experience for dh.

I also just received the Birthing From Within book in the mail the other day -- and now I know that I'll have to take what I like and leave the rest.

Sprinkle Pocket -- these books (I'm sure) have already been recommended, but I LOVED Unassisted Childbirth, Primal Mothering in a Modern World, Prenatal Yoga, and I'm now reading Unassisted Homebirth: An Act of Love. Reading just excerpts from these books was enough to get dh on board.

Looking forward to chatting more...

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Old 10-19-2004, 06:37 PM
 
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Hello Kate! I remember you. Welcome back. I am so sorry for the loss of your babies. I mean that from a deep place in my heart. Congratulations on this new baby! I look forward to talking with you more and hearing about your birth!!
Love, Brandi

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mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13

love and light

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Old 10-20-2004, 03:10 PM
 
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I just thought everyone here might get a kick out my day yesterday. I had to go to Planned Parenthood for a pregnancy test! (I'm due next month.) I needed proof of pregnancy in order to get the birth certificate after, and since this has been a completely unassisted pregnancy, I had none. So I went in for a letter of confirmation and they actually made me pee on the stick. (It was positive.)

The nurse was very nice and didn't even really blink at the fact that I was having a UC. I am one of the people who tells anyone who asks that I am having one, and I have been so surprised at how calmly most people take it. There have been a few people who tell me they are scared, but most just say, "oh, okay" and ask a few questions. Nobody has ever freaked out on me.

Anyway, it's definitely a story to tell...my 8 month pregnancy test...

I just want to say again how much I have enjoyed this thread throughout my pregnancy. I mostly lurk, but I check in here almost every day, and this is the first place I come...I can't believe how much the UC community here has grown since I first joined...it's really inspiring! And thank you to everyone who posts birth stories and pictures (especially pictures, since my daughter loves to see "babies coming out," and talks about when our baby is going to come out.)
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Old 10-20-2004, 03:36 PM
 
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I have to agree that this UC community is awesome. I'm so glad that I've been here since the psuedo beginning I'm so glad that so many of the moms who've already had their baby's are still here to help. I love it. I was thinking I might like to be a lay MW one day, maybe take courses from jeannine parvati...

I'm so glad that you're back with us, KateSt. Your baby sounds like he wanted to just find the *best* time to be born. I got a chill reading your post. He's probably going to be quite the little person.
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Old 10-20-2004, 03:51 PM
 
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Thanks for the warm welcome back, Brandi and Mamajaza. Both of your sentiments really mean a lot to me.

Dancermom -- that's quite a little story! How lucky you are, though, that you haven't experienced any opposition to your uc choice. I know many people close to me would freak out if they knew. So...they won't find out until after the fact. I'm fine with that. Glad the test turned out to be positive!

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Old 10-20-2004, 04:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by *Mamajaza*
mama2lennon~ I hope you will have the birth that you want. How were you when you had your first child? Did you need constant support? Because you might feel the same way this time around. When I had my UC, I didn't want anyone around me. I called them into the bathroom ( I was in the tub), just as the baby's head was coming out. I think I could have done it totally alone, but that's just me. If you think you're going to have one huge baby you could need support.....

gotta go, poop patrol:LOL
My first birthing went very well, I didn't panic, I just flowed ... which is why I know I don't need anyone professional around. I did need constant support though - bringing drinks, wiping my brow - nothing too serious but enough that I don't want to have to think about doing all of that by myself, especially during the last active part before pushing. I want someone around who will basically do what I say, it's the one time in my life I want to be bossy and to be "obeyed". Ds was 8 pounds 7 and this baby seems big but I cannot tell if it will be too big. Of course, maybe I won't want anyone else around, each labour is different, right?
Thank you so much to everyone who gave hugs and words of support!!!! I must try harder to visualize a peaceful birth, to see myself as strong and capable, no matter what happens.
I have read Primal Mothering ... maybe I should read it again, to be re-inspired!
I have talked to baby's dad and it isn't totally hopeless. He wants to be there, he wants to be supportive, we just need to find a workable living situation and he needs to make some money where he is. I really panicked and realized I had a lot of thinking to do if I wanted to have a family with him. Life is always catching me by surprise!
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Old 10-20-2004, 05:45 PM
 
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That is too funny Dancermom!
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Old 10-20-2004, 09:13 PM
 
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I was just putzing around on my computer looking for a dog food recipe (isn't there a nerd icon :LOL ). Anyway I stumbled across my birth story from my son's birth--almost 3 yrs ago. I really thought it would be neat to read. It was a hospital birth, and certainly not like some of the nightmare births you see on A baby story, but, wow, it was so awful. I remember reading a lot about UC after his birth, and I totally realize why...now.

I'm going to try to post it below, unless it is too big, in case any of you would like to remember why you are planning, not soley an unassisted birth, but an empowered birth.

amy

Aidan?s Birth story

Aidan was born on Sunday, February 17th of 2002 at 3.40 pm. He weighed 8lbs 3 ½ oz and was 19 ½ inches tall. True labor was 60 hours long, but things started happening back in November.

On Thanksgiving I hit 28 weeks, the 3rd trimester. I had been having Braxton Hicks for some time. By Thanksgiving I was having about 4 to 5 of them an hour, every hour, even when I was resting or sleeping, or active. My midwives assured me that this was normal.

Around the middle of December, I realized that my cervix was up to something. My Braxton Hicks were still going strong, not painful, just often, and I felt this tingling sensation on my cervix. Right after Christmas I explained this (again) to my midwives (Rebecca this time) who explained to me that it is ?impossible? to feel your cervix. I explained to them that regardless of that, I could feel it, and things were not good. I asked her for an internal to check things out, and she offered an ultrasound instead to get a more accurate reading.

After the ultrasound I was put on strict bed rest as (surprise, surprise), my cervix was most definitely shortening. I was about 33 weeks and I was to stay on bed rest until 36 weeks at the earliest. I was shooting for 37 weeks just to be on the safe side.

A couple of days into bed rest my contractions changed. They had always been high up, but now they were more vaginal. So we went to the hospital and I spent the night. Luckily I was not in labor, just some more preterm contractions. I had another ultrasound (nothing had changed from a couple of days ago), some Brethine as my midwife (Betsy) couldn?t believe how irritable my uterus was (which is how it was for months), and some steroids to help Aidan?s lungs develop. It was explained to me by one of the nurses that I wasn?t drinking enough water. I heard this from many different professionals, despite the fact that by the time I delivered, I was drinking 14 glasses a day. If only I could drink more water, the contractions might stop, or so I was told.

The month of January was uneventful except for the fact that my contractions were almost nonexistent when I was lying down and my cervix had stopped shortening. Unfortunately due to the sheer amount of water I was drinking, I had to get up to urinate countless times a day, which brought on more contractions.

Once I hit 36 weeks on January 17th, I allowed myself more time out of bed, until gradually by 37 weeks, I was completely off of bed rest.

Fast forward to the action!!

On Wednesday the 13th of February I had my midwife appointment with Rebecca. At that time, I was still 3cm, but 80% effaced (up from 70% the week before). She said my cervix was very ripe; I reminded her that she said that a couple of weeks ago, she clarified it by saying, I was ?really, really ripe? and that she?d be surprised if I didn?t go by the end of the weekend. She gave me a ?vigorous? exam and massaged my membranes.

All day Wednesday I was uncomfortable and having an increasingly bloody show (but I had been losing my mucous plug since Saturday the 9th of February!) I really thought nothing of this as I had a ?vigorous? exam by Betsy the week before and obviously nothing happened.

On Thursday, Valentine?s day and Aidan?s due date, my contractions were constant, about 5 minutes apart, as they were for the last month. I knew it would be real soon, as I was feeling different, but still I was quite bummed that Aidan hadn?t made his arrival yet.

That night I went to bed (after some crying) and when Matt?s father called us and woke us up, I was quite ticked as I realized that I hadn?t slept well at all as the contractions had gotten stronger as the night had progressed. Friday day, I took it easy and actually managed to get some kind of a nap, and listened to my hypnobirthing tapes and relaxed. I decided that when I woke up I would try to get labor going by some activity - - forced nesting if you will.

I puttered around the kitchen, squatting and breathing through each contraction as they were quite strong and becoming more painful. I had intended to take down the ornaments on the Christmas tree (yes it was still up), but one of my dogs had made herself quite comfortable on the newspapers I had saved for the job. Matt came home from work around midnight, and I realized that even though I was in labor, it was still sometime off.

I slept terribly that night; I was exhausted and much more aware of the pain. The contractions slowed somewhat, about every 10 minutes, and I felt like I was in a constant state of light sleep.

On Saturday, the 16th, I woke up, hardly refreshed. I knew that I hadn?t progressed much, but figured I should call my midwife just to make sure things were okay.

We got to the hospital and I was 4 cm and 90-100% effaced. I walked around for 2 hours listening to women screaming in pain. I was very excited about this whole experience and this was the first time I became scared. I was checked again & I hadn?t made any more progress, so I was given the choice to go home (1/2 hour away) or stay. I wanted to go home (to avoid as much medical intervention as possible, AND to let the dogs out). I was waiting for a prescription from the hospital pharmacy for some drug that was a ?strong Benadryl? (forget the name). As I was waiting the contractions were getting stronger (I remember sitting down on the floor during one of them), but I still wanted to go home and hopefully rest. I believe I hit active labor.

The car ride home was awful; I never realized just how many potholes there were!! Once I got home I took the ?strong Benadryl? pills and attempted to nap. I was quite dopey from the Benadryl stuff, but woke myself up screaming every 5 minutes with the contractions. No rest for me. So I took a shower, which felt amazing and decided to go back to the hospital. I explained to Janet the midwife, that I was not ready to deliver, but I wanted to get the car ride over and done with and couldn?t imagine doing it any later that right now. She agreed and I came in about 4-5 hours after I had left.

I was 5 cm!! We called our dog sitter and told him we were committed to childbirth, and we called my doula, Jennifer, and told her to come down at her convenience, as things weren?t going too fast. When she arrived I labored in the shower with her for a couple of hours, which helped tremendously. We walked around some more, the contractions picked up, and after a couple of hours, I was a stretchy 6cm. We discussed my options, and I agreed to some morphine to help me sleep so I would be well rested for tomorrow.

Since I was a little dehydrated they hooked me up to some fluids, morphine, and my antibiotics, as I was group B strep positive. I was really hoping for a nice sleep. They brought the futon from the conference room and Matt and Jennifer (my doula) slept there, while I ?relaxed? in bed with my hypnobirthing tapes.

I never did sleep that night. The stupid fluids caused me to have to urinate constantly. I was very cranky at this point. My back labor was also getting intense and the only thing that would help was Jennifer slamming her fists into my lower back, it helped SO much. Unfortunately Matt could not do it right, so poor Jennifer was up with me all night, in and out of sleep, punching my back.

In the morning, we discussed my options again. Unfortunately I was quite dopey from the morphine and just wanted to rest. I had never known that kind of exhaustion and was surprised by the strength and intensity of it. The two midwives, Janet and MaryBeth, explained to me that we had to get this labor going. ?C-Section? was getting thrown around, as my body was so tired, they needed to get this baby out now, so I?d be able to push him out. They were also worried about my uterus and it getting tired. They were afraid that it was exhausting itself and were afraid that it wouldn?t be able to contract after Aidan was born.

I wanted to try nipple stimulation. Janet told me that Aidan?s heartrate would have to be monitored if I went that route. So we decided on artificially rupturing my membranes, which I was very scared of. I knew that my waters provided a cushion for the contractions, and I couldn?t imagine them getting any worse than they already were. Janet explained that once my waters were broken, they?d set up the birthing tub. I was to walk around the floor once, and then I could get in the tub. If the tub didn?t help me enough, Janet promised me some Nubaine after I read some information on it from Dr. Sears? ?The Birth Book? (yes, while I was in labor). I was in so much pain that despite his negative opinion of Nubaine, it was safer than the rest. With this agreement in place, my water was broken.

Once my waters were broken (and they were clear), I didn?t want to move anywhere. I still had to urinate frequently and dreaded having to go to the 4 feet to the bathroom. Jennifer and Matt supported me as I walked (or almost dragged it seemed) around the floor of the hospital. Janet got me the birthing ball and wanted me to sit on it with each contraction. After I tried that a couple of times, I explained that I would not be sitting on that ball ever again (only not as nice). I finally got back to the room and the tub was too hot. So Matt and Jennifer filled up as many containers as they could find with ice from the ice machine and put it in the tub. Within minutes the tub cooled down and I was able to go in.

As soon as I got in the tub, I felt like I had died. The pain ceased. I thought for a moment that I could actually do this!! I smiled for the first time in hours and relaxed. But then a contraction came and it was harder than before. I was livid, I felt duped by the tub. I decided that I had had it, and I wanted drugs, I was tired of all this pain. Yes, I was in transition, but didn?t realize it.

While I was in the tub, I demanded Nubaine of the nurse. She said she would check with Janet. When she came back, she explained that Janet wanted me to labor in the water for a couple of contractions to hopefully ?get on top? of them. After a couple of contractions, I explained to the nurse that it wasn?t helping, and I wanted Nubaine, NOW. She said Janet didn?t want me to ask while in a contraction, so I had to wait until I was out of one. Once I was out of that one, I explained very clearly that it was time for drugs. She came back in a couple of minutes and explained that if I were to start the Nubaine, I would also need to go on Pitocin as the Nubaine would probably slow my labor down.

At this point, I was absolutely furious. I did NOT want Pitocin by any means. I figured the Nubaine would barely cancel out the pain of the Pitocin. I felt that I had been lied to, and voiced this quite loudly. I was crying and begging for a c-section. I explained that I really could not do this anymore. I truly believed that.

At this point the funniest thing happened, and it started to turn things around. Someone knocked on the door. As the nurses and midwives always knocked before entering, I invited the knocker in. When the door opened a woman whom I did not know and her two young children came into the room, the kids were probably 8 and 10. Here I was, completely naked, huge, and cursing up a storm in front of two children. When they left, (and they left quickly), I thought this was absolutely hysterical and couldn?t stop laughing. The absolute absurdity of the whole situation cracked me up!

Luckily Jennifer made a realization while I was in the tub. She realized that during the contractions, I only had difficulty with them in the beginning, but once they started I was able to ride them. I hadn?t realized this and she was right! I WAS doing this! I was still in a lot of pain (and cursing like a truck driver), but my body kicked in, and I started to ride them.

At some point I felt like I had to push. I pushed for a couple of times, but I was about 9 ½ cm still, so I had to wait a little while longer. I also wanted out of the tub, but I didn?t want to get out. I wanted to be magically transported to the bed. After a lot of effort, I got out and was complete. I could push if I wanted to.

I started pushing, but was not holding my breath and grunting, like Janet wanted. I would push, take a breath, and push, take a breath, and push some more. I was not doing one of those, ?PUSH, 1 2 3 4 5, etc.? Eventually I started holding my breath and pushing, which, from my reading, seemed wrong, but in doing so, I could actually feel Aidan move down.

I pushed, and complained, pushed and complained. I could not find any good positions. Janet wanted me on my back, I protested and told her no, she said, and I will never forget this, ?I don?t care? and I was on my back. I pushed a couple of times like that, crying I believe, and Janet came up with an idea. She said something about a position for women who were really tired. She turned the bed upright, so I could squat. I pushed for awhile while I was supported by Jennifer on one side and Matt on the other. After a contraction they would help me up to the bed so I could sit. After only 50 minutes of pushing, Aidan was ready to come out.

I never felt the ?ring of fire? or any pain on my perineum. His head came out with the palm of his hand on his chin. I gently pushed out his shoulders and then he slid right out. I did not tear.

He was placed immediately on my chest and I was confused. I still couldn?t believe that he was actually inside me and now was here on my chest. It seemed surreal.

The cord was wrapped around his neck and he came out very blue. After a couple of minutes of me holding him, they needed to take him to the warmer and check him out. He was still blue, but I was able to hold him and nurse him. I was thrilled!! We co-slept that night, and the next morning he was rushed to the NICU in a larger hospital 1 ½ hours away. But that is another story?.
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Old 10-21-2004, 12:52 AM
 
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DancerMom, i laughed when I read about your test, and then I realized, hey, I have to go do that! Thanks for reminding me...i think I've gotten so out of the mindset of "care" that I forgot there are some things I still have to do to pull this off. I also loved the comment about your dc, my dd is the same way. We see a lot of birth related pictures & videos around here because I teach classes, and she says, "watch video, baby being born." She pointed between her legs and told my dh that "babies come out!" I love it!
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Old 10-21-2004, 02:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Kate! Good to see you, I remember you from ttc also

Does anyone else have kids with really specific ideas about how the baby will be born? I feel like my kids have it planned for me already. They aren't unrealistic plans, either! DS has told me that "the baby comes out in a water" and "it's a boy baby like Tony" and "mommy says 'uooohhh' and Becca and Tony know baby is coming". DD has told me that I'll deliver squatting "like you're on a potty but it isn't there" and that the baby will be a baby girl like her, and that mommy will say "Becca, Tony, the baby is coming now!" and then they'll come and see the baby come out. They have never mentioned a midwife or doctor or anything, it is always mommy doing everything, which is curious, since I think most of their ideas come from the few birth shows we've seen on TV and from the photos of their own births. Neither version is unrealistic and I don't get the sense that either of them is really going to be dissappointed if it doesn't go the way they think, but still, I think it is odd that they have such well-formed visions of what is going to happen.

Amy, I thought the births of my daughter and son were pretty 'natural', especially for hospital births, until I started reading here in the UC threads. Suddenly it became clear to me that all the talk about how far apart contractions were, when we left for the hospital, what this or that nurse said, how I felt about what the doctor did - these were all very overt signs that I wasn't at all in control or in tune with the natural progression of birth. Things like with DS, the nurse told me I wasn't ready to push yet because I was only 6.5cm (she had JUST checked, seriously) - well, I pushed that once and the head became visible, and again and he was out, so obviously I WAS ready to 'push yet'. (Thankfully my sheer horror at her statement was mitigated by the doctor saying "yes, I think she is ready.") But I went through a wild moment of horror that I was doing the wrong thing, that I was going to hurt myself (I was physically incapable of stopping pushing at that point).

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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Old 10-21-2004, 03:13 PM
 
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Hi Niki! I love your children's perceptions of your upcoming birth! I tend to believe children are very in touch with things like this and maybe they know exactly what they're talking about. How touching and special!!!

I don't have any children yet to give me their thoughts, but I asked my baby one night before bed if he'd prefer to be born in water or out. The next night I found myself with a sudden urge for a bath (and I don't take a lot of them) and realized as I was soaking in the bubbles that I probably just got my answer!

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Old 10-21-2004, 06:44 PM
 
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AmyD - Thanks for posting your birth story. My home birth story wasn't so bad (That "I don't care" bit from your midwife is OUCH!), and it truly was an empowering experience me. There definitely things that happened to manage the birth, however, that when I look back make me pause. I will post my "critique" of the experience if anyone is interested.
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Old 10-21-2004, 06:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KateSt.
I don't have any children yet to give me their thoughts, but I asked my baby one night before bed if he'd prefer to be born in water or out. The next night I found myself with a sudden urge for a bath (and I don't take a lot of them) and realized as I was soaking in the bubbles that I probably just got my answer!
That's sweet!

I too remember you from TTC. I'm still hanging out there, but I look forward to hearing how your UP progresses.
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Old 10-21-2004, 06:56 PM
 
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it took me a while to read all the posts since i was last at the computers and we have an out of town guest who doesn't want to be here at the computers, so i probably won't get to respond to everything i want to...

mamajaza~i'm "due" at the end of march--i think april fool's day would make for pretty fun bday parties. i was wondering what in your labor indicated chamomilla for you? i'm trying to get a remedy list together for dh to be in charge of during labor, so i can tell him symptoms and he can figure out the remedy, so i don't have to try and think if i can't.

kate st~yeah, i totally remember you! welcome back! i've found that sometimes it takes walking a seemingly unrelated path to get to where i'm going and to be able to feel like it's really right. sounds like going with the midwife helped you find a really strong place inside for what you want at your birth. that's awesome. i too think it's good to have another 1st time birther with me on the uc thread. i don't think we're the only ones though, are we? anyone else lurking out there?

bv~ congrats on the talk!! that's so great that you did it...sorry to here the babe wasn't as into it, though. oh, goodness, that twin uc video was incredible. it really helped me get back to the 'birth is normal' mentality that i seem to lose when i venture away from the uc community. also, started reading the primal mothering book. this too helped renew my faith in myself, my baby and my sweet dh (who after watching the twin uc video that he kept picturing me doing it like her and feels every bit of faith and confidence in my abilities to birth. hearing stuff like that from him is good).

thanks to everyone for the insight on birthing from within...i'll probably get it and just skip pages that start getting to ridiculous. i'd heard about the "every woman MUST have a doula" section. groan... as a first time birther, i'm just trying to find a book that could help with labor...like niki said, in a more concrete way than to just go with the flow. maybe i won't need it, but i'm thinking of a substitute for childbirth classes.

i'm planning on ordering clear road to birth. i seem to remember another uc video. is there more?

ohhh, i gotta go...darnit.

Waldorf homeschooling homesteading homebirthing mama to my 2 boys '05 & '10 joy.gif & most amazing wife to my most amazing dh
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Old 10-21-2004, 07:16 PM
 
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i forgot, can anyone tell me the big deal about a pregnant woman sleeping on her back? is it for baby positioning later in pregnancy?

Waldorf homeschooling homesteading homebirthing mama to my 2 boys '05 & '10 joy.gif & most amazing wife to my most amazing dh
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Old 10-21-2004, 07:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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SP, laying on your back compresses one of the largest blood vessels in your body, compromising blood return to your heart and therefore blood flow to both you and baby.

I've always felt that if I couldn't tell, there wasn't a problem. Obviously it's not so serious that we can't have women delivering on their backs, eh?

I sleep on my side but occassionally find myself on my back. If I lay totally flat on my back I'll start feeling a little 'funny', and I know that the vessels are actually getting compressed and will change position.

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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Old 10-21-2004, 07:28 PM
 
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thanks niki, i actually just went over to the pregnancy posts and someone had just asked about it there, too.

ok, now i really have to go! :LOL sometimes i wish we could afford satellite internet and have a computer at home--we're off the grid and i hear that's the only way to go, other than a super slow cellphone connection.

Waldorf homeschooling homesteading homebirthing mama to my 2 boys '05 & '10 joy.gif & most amazing wife to my most amazing dh
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Old 10-21-2004, 07:38 PM
 
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sprinklepocket~I didn't actually use the chamomilla, but its supposed to be good for calming, expecting a tough labour like my first DD's. I thought I could use it for other things if I didn't use it for the birth. Have you seen Laura Shanleys site? She has an UC video on there, I think.
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Old 10-21-2004, 08:03 PM
 
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BinahYeteirah, I wouldn't mind hearing your birth story! It is always so interesting to me to hear about people's process to UC -- they whys of it -- and looking at past experiences is part of that.
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Old 10-21-2004, 11:26 PM
 
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*Mamajaza* if you don't mind tking this thread on a bit of a tangent :LOL

I have read your 2nd baby's birth story and know that it was easy and peacefu;, and you say your 1st baby was difficult. How did the two compare?

The reason I ask is because I have a 21 month old. I spent 29 hours in hard labor at 2 cms ( I kept begging my midwife to check me ) then when I decided to be alone with my own thoughts and communicate with the baby she came in less than 20 minutes. that is 2 cm to holding a baby in that short amount of time. there is no doubt in my mind that it is becauise I was putting too much faith in everyone else to help me through her birth, when she and i should have been the major participants and we both needed to make peace with that. Which is also why I am planning a UC or atleast a free birth where I am totally in charge and I know it from the beginning.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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