UC Thread #11 - November 2004 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 204 Old 11-07-2004, 12:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyD
Thanks mamas!! I wish I knew how to quote different posts, but I am not knowledgeable enough, so I will just go back and forth.
Just type [ QUOTE=username ] to begin a quote and /QUOTE to end it. :-)

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyD
Laura, I already have some clary sage EO, but forgot to put it on my list. I also already have thermometers---for me I presume in case of PROM? What is w/the flexible straws?
Sigh. The thermometer is for the baby. Because I was a dumbass at my last birth and let Nova get too cold. And also for PROM, I guess, though I've never had my water break before heavy labor, so I don't expect that to be an issue. The bendy straws... I had that heavy arm thing going on last time. I could take the water bottle or cup from my dh, but couldn't communicate that I wanted him to put the water IN MY MOUTH and I couldn't really lift my arms to take a drink. I, too, had read the bendy straw thing on lists and thought, "What?!" But I wish I had had some. Maybe I could have asked for one, had it been an option.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyD
Ame, did your sewing scissors become useless for sewing after the cord was cut? I'm assuming yes, but just curious.
You do realize that you can have your scissors sharped, right? Joanns periodically offers that service for a very reasonable price. My concern wouldn't be dulling, but that the rubbery thickness of the cord would make it warp or bend at the joint.

Laura, mama to J (15), N (12), E (9) , M (6), and our little caboose, R (3).
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#62 of 204 Old 11-07-2004, 08:21 PM
 
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Jenn, I think I'd have a hard time being convinced too if the justification was monetary rather than philosophical or scientific. And coming at it from the other side (as someone who has given birth unassisted and is convinced of its potential safety and value) I have to say that I really really really hate to see people UC when they'd prefer to have a midwife. Is there any possible way you could work it out? The midwife who attended my second birth did swaps, sliding scale, and occassionally offer her services for free. There's also medicaid, if your income is low enough, although I don't know what that would cover in Texas. Forgive me if you've already thought through all this.

That said, the way I brought my husband around was to just work on him very slowly over time. I didn't mention unassisted birth at first, just read him lots of stuff -- "hey, listen to this, this is fascinating" -- and didn't expect conversation over it, just let him mull it over for a while, work it out in his head for himself. So by the time we were needing to really talk about it, he understood the basis for it and it was easier for him to consider it. He also was very much reassured by my own confidence and conviction, and the fact that I didn't expect him to act as midwife.

HTH! (By the way, I have a Willow too. )

Amy, re: scissors, we used a hair-trimming scissors to cut the cord. I thought it might tweak the scissors so the halves no longer met/matched up, because I've had that happen before when I tried to cut something very thick. But they were fine, and I still use them to cut hair. :LOL
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#63 of 204 Old 11-07-2004, 08:21 PM
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I have heavy make that VERY heavy Ghinger sewing scissors - it would take an 18 wheeler for them to warp or bend and they cut through the cord like a hot knife through butter so there was likely no dulling...I chose them because they were the sharpest heavy duty scissors I own.

chiromom I already schedulded an omt appoint for this baby (not born yet) LOL The cap recommendation is another instance of conditioning us to believe we need extra stuff to care for baby....good point.

O/T My youngest -Lucy who I had a UC with has microcephaly and her pediatrician is also an osteopath and she has had omt once a mmonth for the first two years of her life. I am a strong advocate of omt and am glad to hear you are a practitioner
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#64 of 204 Old 11-07-2004, 09:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ame
I have heavy make that VERY heavy Ghinger sewing scissors - it would take an 18 wheeler for them to warp or bend and they cut through the cord like a hot knife through butter so there was likely no dulling...I chose them because they were the sharpest heavy duty scissors I own.
I'm so freakin' jealous.

So since I have realtively cheap scissors, at least compared to Ame's (insert ), where does one find hair cutting scissors Linda?

Thanks
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#65 of 204 Old 11-07-2004, 09:46 PM
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I'm not Linda BUT...

At the beauty supply or walmart I think the drug store might even have them.
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#66 of 204 Old 11-07-2004, 10:51 PM
 
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Hello everyone! I am new to this board but got pointed over to here after posting a question. I am interested in a UC (just learned what that meant a minute ago!) but am curious as to everyone's experience. The main thing I am curious about is the prenatal care. I am all for doing this myself....women for a very long time had no doctors to tell them anything, they had to go by their gut and I think I could do it. However my sister said you needed prenatal care cause of some tests like blood ones and what not. Are they really necessary or will your baby be just fine without them? For those who had no prenatal but what you did for yourselves, did you ever go to the doctor for "reassurance" and if so how did they react to it all (obviously they would have questions for you) and how did you react back?

I'm not sure why this appeals to me so much. Lately though it feels better than having a doctor (which I would never have anyway due to some of the things they do) or a midwife. When I read a story from some site online about a woman who had a UC it just clicked inside me and has stuck there. Did anyone else feel this way? Sorry for all the questions but this is new to me and I am really curious. Thanks for answering them!

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#67 of 204 Old 11-07-2004, 10:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by blueviolet
bionicsquirrel, I think that there is a lot of fat phobia in maternity care that is not justified. It's not your size in itself that is the issue, it's how your body functions at your size.

Yes, I feel like a doctor sees fat and automatically labels you high risk. This is one of a number of reasons why I am looking into UC. My last pregnancy I had a midwife who seemed great, but very subtley alluded to my "need" for all of these tests because of my weight. Then when I ended up in hospital for the induction (totally unneccesary) every nurse and doctor said that I was measuring big and that this baby was going to be a big one...blah, blah. I was told, of course, that I would need a c-section because that baby must be a big one.

Do docs not realize that when you start out with a bigger belly, then yes, of course, you are going to measure bigger? I assumed this would be common sense, but it is like going shopping for clothes and trying on a size 18 that really fits like a size 12. The standards are skewed.

FYI, I am 195 and 5'4". Not big at all, in my opinion, but by the way some doctors talk I must appear huge.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Chandar
I had no weight related problems during either pgs or births. What bv said is true. If you are unhealthy, big or not, you are unhealthy.
This I totally believe. What is your opinion of excersise during pregnancy? Do you exercise? Yoga? Walking?

Being pregnant changes your body so much, and I found it very hard to stay strong without working out.

Mother to one wild and crazy boy 12/29/2002.
Midwife, Homeschool Educator and Crafter.
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#68 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 12:52 AM
 
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Lizabethian said: "The main thing I am curious about is the prenatal care. I am all for doing this myself....women for a very long time had no doctors to tell them anything, they had to go by their gut and I think I could do it. However my sister said you needed prenatal care cause of some tests like blood ones and what not. Are they really necessary or will your baby be just fine without them?" (I CANNOT make the quote box appear...what is wrong with me?)

My answer: I think you will find that each UCer choses the prenatal care that best fits their needs or individual concerns during pregnancy. It is one of the myriad advantages of UC birth. Normally a parent is contrained by the protocol of the OB or midwife who is providing care and much of the prenatal care given today is in order to protect the provider NOT the family for which care is provided. I personally prefer not to have to break the mold and convince my provider every time I refuse a test that would in no way change the outcome of how I am managing a pregnancy.

For example: I would not get an ultrasound because I can imagine no circumstance in which it would cause me to end a pregnancy and no circumstance that would change what I could do to help my unborn child prior to its birth. Even if a defect were present...I would rather find out and deal with it at the time of birth than worry and stress about it when the very environment of my body (and keeping that environment positive) is the most fundamentally important thing I am providing for my child.

If there were some danger to the child that would require an "emergency c-section" (which in reality is incredibally rare since most are based on fear tactics of what could happen not what WILL happen in my opinion) there is really no known condition or danger that does not have numerous other body signs and signals of danger that could be evaluated in a much less invasive way.

The same could be said (for me) of all the other testing including blood work, urinalysis, etc.... IF my body is showing one of the warning signs of a potentially managable condition, like gestational diabetes, I would make the necessary changes to my diet (which would be minimal since I already try to manage my diet during pregnancy within the dietary guidelines for someone with GD) and if that did not garner the required change, I would then consider minimal further testing.

During this pregnancy, my prenatal care consists of this: Consistant (weekly) chiropractic care, high protein and low sugar diet, omega 3 fatty acid supplements specific to pregnancy, extra sleep, occasional self administered fundal height checks (without a tape measure...just for giggles..."yup..it's growing"), down time where I *check in* with the baby and listen to my body's intuition ("Is everything okay baby? I love you...keep growing"), a bit of time (more coming as I get closer) visualizing a healthy and calm labor and delivery.....and that's about it for me.

mar
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#69 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 01:59 AM
 
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Chiromom that was a great response thanks! I really appreciate it and it put a lot into perspective. We have decided to go for it. Our only obstacle now is my dumb mother. She is against me having it ast home in the first place so if it comes down to me telling her our new plans.....oh man! Watch out! Thanks for your reply....it was really great!

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#70 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 02:45 AM
 
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I saw this earlier when I was surfing through but I can't seem to find it. I saw some links for a lady in California (I think that was the state) that said the regulations/rules/laws and what not to obtain a birth certificate for a UC. Where can I find one for my state? I would like to start looking into it so I know what's going on.

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#71 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 03:01 AM
 
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I'm not sure why this appeals to me so much. Lately though it feels better than having a doctor (which I would never have anyway due to some of the things they do) or a midwife. When I read a story from some site online about a woman who had a UC it just clicked inside me and has stuck there. Did anyone else feel this way? Sorry for all the questions but this is new to me and I am really curious. Thanks for answering them![/QUOTE]

Hi there!
I learned about UC from the internet and it stuck in my mind as well. Both my husband and I decided long ago to do it, and we had our baby OCt 9th UC.
I am still in the process of writing about the story and plan on sharing it asap- but please feel free to ask away. We spent this entire pregnancy learning about birth and found UC to be the best way for us.
Welcome!

Warm Regards

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#72 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 03:07 AM
 
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Hi Amy! Thanks! The thought had crossed my mind once when I was talking to my sister but it didn't seem like an option at the time. I have to say I am quite happy with our decision....the doctor was never an option and due to circumstances I only ever got to talk to our prospective midwife (the closest one to us after the first one whose daughter is due the same day I am) and I think there was a reason for that. I was reading back through this tread and saw a lady who went for a walk and saw an owl so she looked up the meaning etc. On another board I am a member to I was posing a question and someone responded with Who, who...is there an owl in here? You think that counts as owl symbolism? I hope so! Do you mind telling me a little about your UP/UC tonight? I'll be up for awhile and am curious still.

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#73 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 11:44 AM
 
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The posts on birth kits were interesting to me. For some reason I don't feel the need to get anything together. If I need something I'll find something to use. I have fast labors though so I guess that makes a difference. Also as far as a string or something to tie the cord, we just don't. I read an article while I was pregnant with Forrest about not tying the cord so we didn't. It fell off in about a week and healed the best. I won't tie it this time either.

We were out of town this weekend and I missed this board

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#74 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 01:46 PM
 
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Amy, I got the scissors in the cosmetics section of our local "one-stop shopping" store. (Fred Meyers, if you're in the NW)
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#75 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 02:24 PM
 
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séan nicholas was born this morning, november 8th, at 3:25am, in our living room. no one actually *caught* him, as he came out so fast that he landed on the pile of towels between my knees! :-)

no stats other than he's a beautiful, tiny boy, and his parents are ecstatic, and quite tired.

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#76 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 06:20 PM
 
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Welcome Baby Séan and congrats to lafemmedesfemmes!!! I can't wait to hear your birth story and I hope I am next!!!
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#77 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 06:23 PM
 
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Congratulations, Christina, Sean Nicholas and Family!!! Enjoy your loving baby moon.

Stacey -- it's interesting what you said about not cutting the cord -- I've read that before too, and I think that's what we'll do too.

Hi Lizabethian-- Welcome! I'm the owl-lady and I'd say your post does count! I felt much like you did when I first starting researching uc -- that it just clicked and felt right.

Amyjeans - looking forward to your story! Congrats on your (almost) 1 month old baby.

Chiromom -- I loved your post and agree with every bit of it! BTW, I would love to know which EFA's you're taking. I take one 3 times a day, but it's just a regular EFA -- what makes the pregnancy-specific one different?

Hi Bionicsquirrel (what a cute screen-name) -- You asked about exercise (and I couldn't agree more that feeling healthy in your body is sooo important during pregnancy) and I walk 3 times a week (10 miles total) and do yoga 4 times a week. I can't say enough about being out in fresh air during my walks and doing yoga. Sounds like you're already active -- what is it you're doing?

Willowsmom -- Welcome! I'm still in the process of talking my dh into uc. I wish I'd been as patient and tactful as Linda (Blueviolet) but I can see how I've been pushing him a bit too much. I agree that reading to your dh and discussing it is so important. I've highlighted sentences in certain books particulary to share with dh. We're still working it out.... Good luck to you.

Ame and Sonya -- I couldn't agree more with your thoughts on "talking" to your baby. I feel as though my baby and me have a wonderful communication already -- it's just wonderful.

Linda and AmyD -- thank you SO much for your continuing feedback about my mw. I also felt exactly as you both said -- that she was implying I was "underestimating the amount of support I'll need." In fact, her partner mw said those EXACT words to me at a previous appt when I mentioned I wouldn't want a student there. You're both right -- that comment alone was enough to make me second-guess myself, especially when I've heard it more than once. But my resolve is STRONG!

Dh and I had one of our "talks" this weekend about uc and it spiraled into an awful fight. We never fight -- and since we've been talking about uc our discussions have been known to get very heated. We agreed that it was starting to cause a rift between us and because of that I said "Okay, you win. I give up. The mw will be here." And really, what he's asking is not unreasonable -- to have her in a separate room. It was around midnight when I was telling him I was "giving up" and baby was kicking me, the owl started hooting outside, and I felt defeated. I woke up the next morning feeling like a light had gone out inside me and that I had lost something very precious to me. I felt just as Niki had said in a earlier post -- that she was mourning her dream of uc. I also felt like I was mourning and when dh woke up I cried in his arms. I said "I know this is a reasonable compromise...but I just can't do it." In giving up, I truly realized my confidence, strength, and wisdom to do this on our own -- and I know I just can't have her here.

Thankfully, dh knows how important this is to me and he's willing to continue working on his own fears and doubts. We've left it now that we'll labor alone and only call her if we absolutely need to. I can definitely live with this. But BOY! What a process this has been! I told dh our fights and discussions are just "growing pains" and I feel they really are. It's already been the most difficult (and wonderful) thing I've had to go through and I haven't even given birth yet!

Well, another book from me. I just love this thread. I've never read a thread before and consistently gotten chills until this one! You ladies are just wonderful -- and I can feel your strength, wisdom, and empowerment through my computer. to all you mamas...

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#78 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 09:08 PM
 
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Kate, I love your "books" I'm not so sure my dh is love with the UC idea either but he's come to realize that I'll do what I want and that we really don't need anyone here. He caught #2 in the car and much prefers the idea of staying home. The mess in the car really stressed him He also likes the idea of me doing it alone. He knows I can handle it and that way none of his fears will interfere. I'm just hoping nobody, except possibly Forrest, his home anyway.

Congrats to the new baby! Can't wait to read the story!

Stacey
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#79 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 09:10 PM
 
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Oh yeah, Kate, we cut the cord just didn't tie it. If you wait until its limp there is no blood loss from the untied cord and it really did heal the fastest. The article I read pointed out that as humans we worry about cord care too much. For instance a mama pig just bites the cord and the piglets lay in mud all day with no ill effects. We just stress too much.

Stacey
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#80 of 204 Old 11-08-2004, 10:28 PM
 
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Stacey -- thanks . And that's what I meant to say -- not "tying" the cord and just cutting it. The less stress the better! Wow -- giving birth in the car! I do imagine being at home will be better!

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#81 of 204 Old 11-09-2004, 12:34 AM
 
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Welcome Sean!!!!
Congratulations!

Lizabethian- just PM me when you are free- I should be hanging out here later tonight (12-1am est) Syd will be up to eat about then.

Warmest Regards

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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#82 of 204 Old 11-09-2004, 05:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KateSt.
I woke up the next morning feeling like a light had gone out inside me and that I had lost something very precious to me. [...] In giving up, I truly realized my confidence, strength, and wisdom to do this on our own -- and I know I just can't have her here.
So maybe this conflict with your husband now is actually a good thing in that it's helping you to fully understand what is at stake before it's irretrievably lost.
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#83 of 204 Old 11-10-2004, 12:47 PM
 
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Oh Kate! I totally sympathize with the dh battles. Trust me dh and i battled right up until the end. Of course by then he didn't have much choice in the matter

Our conflict right now is we both want UC again bu he is deathly afraid of what might happen if his command found out. We have been discussing not calling the m/w until after the baby is born or once its too late for her to arrive in time for baby to be born. I could actually see that one happening on accident simply because until i was in transition last time I had no idea how far along I was in labor since it was still pretty manageable to that point.

You have given me a bit of confidence in Saras that I already have in Vicki. I wasn't sure yesterday after talking to her that i would feel the same support in uc that i do from Vicki but it sounds like she is just as supportive and understanding. I'll up date you on my apt tommorow afternoon after I see her.
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#84 of 204 Old 11-10-2004, 01:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyD

MY BIRTH KIT

*Arnica pellets and cream/lotion
*Rescue Remedy
*Carbo vegetablis
*Embrodery floss braids for the cord
*Sharp scissors
*Rubbing alcohol
*Ziploc bags
*Eldon cards
*Mesh underwear
*Cloth postpartum pads
*Bowl for placenta
*2 heating pads to keep baby blanket and baby hat warm
*Baby blankets and baby hat
*A couple of peri bottles
*Lavender EO and Tea Tree Oil
*Motherwort tincture (for afterpains)
*Bulk herbs of black haw or crampbark and blue cohosh (also for afterpains)
*Flannel lined plastic tablecloth for under the pool
*Plastic sheets
*Extra sheets for bed
*Chux pads
*Sump pump or waterbed fill and drain kit
*Air pump for pool
*2 new drinking safe hoses
*Adaptations for hose to washing machine outlet if necessary

ADDED:
*ice packs or just disposable gloves to fill w/ice
*ice (we never have any in the freezer)
*labor salts (lavender, clary sage, and jasmine) for tub
*cinnamon tincture
*shepard's purse tincture
Amy
things you might need
juice or other fluid to drink like recharge
broth, bullion , or soup on hand (this is for salt replacement, some women need juice or water others need more sodium as an electrolyte especially after birth)
the cinnamon oil tincture goes with erigerion tincture- as a combo to stop bleeding
cotton root bark tincture or yarrow tincture to combine with shepard's purse ( shepard's purse tincture is only effective if made fresh and the active ingredients go off at about 6 mo) you would probably only need one set or the other (cinnamon + erigerion or yarrow+ shepard's purse)
peroxide to clean up any blood on carpet, bed and added to laundry load to get blood out of towels or clothing
carrier oil like almond or olive oil incase you want to use some of the eos on your skin
don't see the need for a placenta bowl or pan if you have chux
drinking alcohol or tinctures are safer, less toxic than rubbing -if this is for cord treatment we recommend do nothing but keep it clean and dry unless there are signs of infection
I don't understand what you use the zip locks for??
unless an especially long distance one hose will usually do
we only use one heating pad because we just pile blankets and hat and on one side and towels on the other nice insulated stack
we use a bit of shower curtain or plastic sheeting to cover pool and keep some heat in
clean towels and wash cloths( wash cloths can be frozen as an ice pack)
bendy straws
after birth bath herbs-- manzinta or uva ursi (one or the other), lavender, calendula ( here i would use chiliopsis), comfrey leaf or plantain leaf
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#85 of 204 Old 11-10-2004, 08:06 PM
 
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Linda -- Yes! I couldn't agree more! That argument was definitely a watershed for me. Ever since dh came up with that last compromise (which is really MY way ) I've felt wonderful. Every day I'm feeling a relaxed confidence that just grows stronger.

Jennie -- I'll be thinking of you on Thursday. Please let us know how it goes...I know Saras will be wonderful, though perhaps a bit surprised to be hearing about uc twice in one week!

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#86 of 204 Old 11-10-2004, 09:56 PM
 
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ha kate I thought about that today when Vicki called to move my appt up from 1 to 3 that goodness saras is going to think there is an epidemic going around. Vicki already knows how I feel but i have no clue how much they discuss patients with each other.
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#87 of 204 Old 11-11-2004, 12:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a dream last night where I was in labor. My husband wasn't there but my kids were - when I felt I was very far into labor I asked my DD to get my phone, so that I could call the midwife. As soon as I asked her, labor stopped. As in, nothing. I spent the rest of the dream (seemed like 6 hours or so) wandering around wondering what happened. DH never did show up. The kids were confused too because they were ready for "new baby" (as they call it) to show up and here was mommy, just walking around aimlessly. They just sat around playing quietly and staring at me inquisitively every now and then.

I know there's something "in" this dream, but I'm not quite sure I get it.

Kate, don't stop writing "books", I enjoy reading them. I write many long rambly posts myself (way more than you) and find it quite therapeutic (I should probably get a blog, eh?). It's great to hear your DH bent a bit and is more 'with' you now. I know that a lot of people have said "it's my birth, not my DH's, I get to decide" but there is a lot more to it than that for some of us.

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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#88 of 204 Old 11-11-2004, 01:26 AM
 
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nikirj - I had two thoughts after reading your last post. It seems like your dream is trying to tell you that a mw will not be helpful to you and in fact, will stall labour, but at least did not seem harmful. Also, while it's true that our partners have some influence on our decisions (and their emotions/attitudes affect us), it is our bodies who will be birthing our babes. We listen and feel the primitive and instinctual callings of our bodies while we birth, our partners can not. We must do what we can for ourselves to feel at peace, calm and safe. We want freebirth because we believe it is best for us and therefore our children. If we feel better when our partners also feel good then we must honour that. If all your intuition tells you that you'd like your partner to be there or you need him to be there, then you will do what you can to make that happen.
It is not our jobs to make sure that they feel safe, it is their job to make sure we feel safe. Fear is our worst enemy in birth. I do not deny that our partners' fears can affect us and if they are freaking out, that is not going to help us birth. Perhaps your dream is telling you that it would be best if your partner wasn't there. That doesn't mean that you have to purposely not include him but that circumstances may prevent him from being there. It seems like your children will be peaceful and not interfere or slow down labour. We don't know when or how our babies will come, we can only hope/visualize/pray for the best possible situation for us and trust that our babes have infinite wisdom and will create the environment they most want to be born in.
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#89 of 204 Old 11-11-2004, 10:31 AM
 
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Niki -- I was so glad to see your post -- I've been missing you.
Wow, what an incredibly powerful dream! Mama2Lennon had some good insight -- I don't know what I can add. I do so believe in our babies infinite wisdom. (Beautiful post M2L.)

It seems as though we have similar relationships with our dh's. My dh and I share everything and for the most part agree on everything, and have always made an effort to be respectful to each other and compromising. The fact that uc has brought up so much conflict between us has been troubling. When we were fighting Sat night and I was thinking "this isn't worth it to cause a rift between us" I really believed it at the time. But then when I woke up the next morning, feeling grief-stricken and dejected because of our "compromise", I realized that very compromise was going to cause an even a bigger rift between us. In that short time I "gave up" I started to resent my beloved dh -- and that troubled me to no end!

Dh knows my passion about this and is continuing to work through his own fears, but just when I think I've got him on the same page, it's like "one step forward, two steps back." But I've come to realize (though he doesn't know this yet) that this is one thing I WILL NOT compromise. My first choice would be to have him here, my second choice would be to do it alone, and for me there is no third choice. I haven't told him this plainly because I'm really hoping he'll start to come around on his own in the next 3 months (gulp!) and I don't want to force him into the situation. But come the end of January or beginnng of Feb, if I have to get firm I will.

Perhaps this sounds corny (though I believe the women on this thread won't think so) but maybe you could ask your baby to "help" you convince dh through dreams or whatever. My baby had a "conversation" with my dh one early morning 3 weeks ago that was very powerful and more convincing than me -- but I'm telling baby he's going to need to keep talking to him. I really do believe that uc was my baby's idea and together I think we'll get dh to come around. I don't know if this helps you or not, but I want you to know how much I empathize with your situation. The very fact I'm writing things here that I haven't shared with dh is very strange to me. Perhaps we he does come around, I'll let him read everything.

Well, here's that book you asked for! You're right, it's very therapeutic! Ladies, if you've made it this far, thanks for reading!

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#90 of 204 Old 11-11-2004, 03:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nikirj
I had a dream last night where I was in labor. My husband wasn't there but my kids were - when I felt I was very far into labor I asked my DD to get my phone, so that I could call the midwife. As soon as I asked her, labor stopped. As in, nothing. I spent the rest of the dream (seemed like 6 hours or so) wandering around wondering what happened. DH never did show up. The kids were confused too because they were ready for "new baby" (as they call it) to show up and here was mommy, just walking around aimlessly. They just sat around playing quietly and staring at me inquisitively every now and then.
Seems to me like you are working out some stress. one thing I have seen is women always wonder when to either go to the hospital, birth center or when to call the midwife, keep hubby home or call him home, or to call the doula or other help. So there is a bit of performance pressure that can build up- seems like this is what the dream is a bit and it is also exploring not being in touch with your husband in some way or not being able to reach him, this might also be processing some fear like what will happen, or what will you do if you can't reach him? or it could be reflecting a communication problem you are having with him.

When I was pregnant with my kids I had tons of dreams with all sorts of topics. One of the more upsetting dreams I had was about having my baby in a public bathroom, the dirty floors the leaking plumbing people coming in and out., talking and making comments. I think I was re-living my hospital births and the fear of having another "public" birth again.
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